by Nicole James
“Oh, God. You thought about my panties all day?”
“Yeah, brat. All damn day. You gonna tell me?”
She swallowed. And he could read her mind. She was trying to decide if she should admit it or let him wonder. Or just maybe let him discover for himself. Hell, he was up for that.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
His chin moved to the side a fraction of an inch. “Not a good idea to give out a challenge like that, not to a man like me.”
She stared back at him, not giving an inch. Well, goddamn.
He held her eyes as desire coursed through him. No, not desire, unbridled lust, pure and simple, and stronger than he’d felt for any woman in a long fucking time. Maybe lust wasn’t the right word either. It was need that burned through him, need that clawed at him to take her fast and hard.
Fuck, what was wrong with him? This was Jess he was on top of.
Suddenly he found himself vaulting off the bed. She looked up at him with obvious confusion. And he answered that look with a fierce one of his own.
“You better think long and hard on what the hell it is you want from me, Jess. You need my protection you got it. This doesn’t have to be part of the deal. Some fucked up payment for helping you.”
She came up on her elbows, her eyes wide.
“It’s not, Ghost. I swear.”
“You better mean that. You don’t barter your body with me. Fuck, you don’t barter your body with any man. You understand me?”
He paused as she flushed from his words that sounded too close to an accusation.
“I’m not a whore.”
He ran a hand over his mouth. “I know that, Jess. I’m just sayin’ this,” he paused, gesturing between them, “this can’t be that. I don’t want you wantin’ me ‘cause you’re grateful or some shit.”
“That’s not what this is, Ghost,” she whispered in a voice so soft he barely heard the words.
Jesus Christ. Could she really want him? His eyes strayed down her body as it lie on the bed before lifting to meet hers, piercing into her. “This what you want, Jess? Really want? ‘Cause once we cross that line, there’s no goin’ back. You know that, don’t you?”
She nodded. “I know.”
“And you’re gonna be able to handle it? Handle me?”
That gave her pause. He could see it flicker in her eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not that boy you remember, the one who let you walk out of that garage that afternoon.”
“I know you’re not.”
“Do you?”
She nodded.
Just the same, he felt the need to clarify, to make sure she understood. “I take what I want. When I want a woman, I take her. And she doesn’t walk out that door again until I’m through with her. You up for that, Jess? Because you better be damned clear on just what it is you’re signing up for. I get what I want. And right now I fuckin’ want you.”
“I want you, too. So what’s the problem?”
“What’s the problem?” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, turning away from her, and then just as fast spinning back to pin her with his eyes. “And tomorrow? If this all goes to shit, you gonna be okay with that? You gonna be okay with me? Havin’ that between us and then goin’ our separate ways?”
“You’re already so sure it won’t last.” It was a statement, not a question, but he answered it just the same.
“Yeah, I am. I know so. Guaranteed. We got no future, Jess. All we got is now. You up for that? Think you can handle that?”
He saw the disappointment weigh in her eyes. Fuck. She had some kind of knight-in-shining-armor fantasy going on in her head, still just as in awe of him as she’d been as a kid. But he was no ones hero. He couldn’t be that for her. He would never be that for her. She just didn’t know how wrong she was. But she’d find out the truth. Sooner or later, she’d see him for what he was. He shook his head.
“Jess.”
“Ghost, it’s okay. Whatever you’re willing to give, I’ll take. And I promise I won’t ask for more.” She extended her hand toward him. “Please.”
Fuck. She was like Eve holding out the apple. An apple he wanted to take. He needed to turn her down. Knew he should. Knew it’d be best for both of them in the long run. But right now, havin’ her look at him that way, like he hung the fuckin’ moon. Christ, he couldn’t stop the swelling in his chest. He wanted that. Craved it. To have a woman look at him the way she was right now lying there lookin’ at him? Christ, it was everything.
He found himself taking a step toward the bed, his hand lifting to grasp hers, their fingers intertwining, lacing together. And then he was moving over her again, his weight settling back on top of her, pinning that hand to the bed near her head.
The time for words, excuses and ‘what-ifs’ was over. His mouth took hers again and she welcomed him, her free hand coming up to clutch at him, pulling him closer. He loved that, the way she made him feel like she couldn’t get close enough. His free hand slid into her hair, his fist tightening as he took control of the kiss.
He kissed her a long time, taking his time with her. Enjoying every moment. He’d wanted this for a long time, fantasized about it a million times. Jerked off to the image of her in his head more times over the years than he wanted to admit.
His mind went back to that moment they’d shared in the garage so many years ago. She’d been just sixteen then, she was a woman now. And her kiss proved that. She matched his hunger, kiss for kiss, and he ate it up, giving back as much as he took. Until eventually kissing wasn’t enough, for either of them.
He lifted, straddling her and pulling her upright. Then he reached for the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head, tossing it to the floor. His eyes moved over the lacy black bra she wore, the one he’d first seen in that bathroom in Sturgis when he’d bent her over that counter and pretended to fuck her. That was another vision that had tortured his dreams the last few nights.
He’d pictured himself doing that to her for real, and it got him rock hard.
He reached around and undid the fastener, then pulled it off, tossing the bra on the floor with her shirt. Her breast fell free, soft and round and the perfect size as his hand closed over one as he leaned forward taking her down on the bed, flat on her back. His mouth trailed down from her throat to her breast as he squeezed with his hand. And then his mouth was at her nipple, sucking so hard her back arched off the bed. That only drove him on further, sending an urgent instinctive need to take her, driving him on. He’d never felt it this badly before.
But he fought it; beat it down, refusing to rush this, wanting to take his time with her, to savor every inch of her incredibly soft skin.
She moaned and writhed beneath him. He slid to the bottom of the bed and stood, yanking her boots off, and then his hands were at the waist of her jeans, undoing them and yanking them down her legs and off.
Red lace hit his eyes, and he paused, staring. Goddamn, she was beautiful, lying there almost naked, nothing but that scrap of barely there red lace.
Prettiest thing he’d ever seen.
He stripped his own clothes off, and then stood there at the foot of the bed, just looking at her. His eyes finally made it all the way up to her face to see that her eyes were trailing down his body, taking him in.
She writhed on the bed, one knee bending, and the bottom of her foot sliding over the bedspread in a seductive way that had the blood rushing from his head.
***
Jessie stared up at Ghost, taking in all the beautiful muscled body that had just been revealed to her. He was gorgeous. He stood there just taking her in, and her body ached for his touch, wanted his warm body stretched back on top of her, skin on skin.
She slid her foot along the bed, trying to entice him back.
A moment later, she gasped as his hands closed around her ankles, and he pulled her across the bedspread to him. She went sliding down the bed. And then he
was kneeling, his hands going to her lace panties and pulling them down her legs and off.
His warm hands landed on the inside of both thighs, just above her knees, parting her legs to him, and then they slowly slid upward, his eyes boring into hers.
Her breathing accelerated at the look he was giving her as she was laid out before him, open and vulnerable. Her chest rose and fell, her breasts quivering with the movement, and he didn’t miss it.
“You scared, Jess?”
She shook her head, rolling it on the bedspread.
“I don’t want you to be scared of me, sweetheart.”
“I’m not.”
His palms reached the apex of her thighs, and then his thumbs were brushing over her. At the first soft graze, her back arched, her hips lifting in offering, wanting more.
He stroked over her again, a barely there touch that drove her insane.
“Ghost,” she moaned.
“You like that?”
She nodded. “God, yes.”
“Touch your breasts for me,” he ordered, his voice deep.
She lifted her hands to squeeze them in a kneading motion.
He kept stroking her. “Play with your nipples. Pinch them.”
She did, moaning, her head going back. And then his mouth was on her, his tongue driving her insane as he lapped and sucked until she was thrashing on the bed. He didn’t let up; he held her thighs wide as he tortured her over and over with his mouth until she couldn’t take it anymore.
“Please, baby. Please.”
And then he really got serious, toying with her clit in a rapid-fire motion that had her crashing over into a huge orgasm, crying out.
She’d barely recovered before he moved over her again to brace up on the palms of his hands, his hips pressing against hers, pushing her legs apart. One hand moved between her legs, his fingers separating her folds and smearing her release all over her. She felt the head of his cock press against her, seeking entry. Their eyes locked the whole time. And then he speared inside her with one powerful thrust. Her body clamped down, her muscles tightening, and he stopped, having only gained entry halfway.
He held himself still, poised above her, his muscles rigid. And then he dipped his head, his nose skating along her cheek, his mouth coming to her ear to whisper, “Relax for me, sweetheart. Let me in.”
His words were like some magic entreaty, unlocking the doors, and she felt her body tingle, her muscles relaxing and a new rush of lubrication flow from her. He eased in, pressing deep.
“That’s my girl. Take it all.” His voice was sweet, soft and seductive. And she knew right then that he had the power to coax any response from her that he wanted.
He lowered to his elbows, his weight coming down on her as he moved inside her, advancing, retreating, slowly, dragging along a thousand nerve endings with every smooth stroke.
She moaned.
“I should have taken more time with you. Made you come over and over before I took you. I was just so goddamned impatient to be inside you, but I’ll make it up to you, baby. I swear. The rest of the night will be all about you. But right now, I need this, okay? I need to just take. And I need you to give.”
She nodded, her hands sliding over the warm smooth skin of his back, down to his ass. Her hands tightened, and she pulled him against her and heard him moan in response.
And that deep, low, masculine moan was the sexiest thing she’d ever heard.
“Oh, fuck, baby. Do that again. Show me you want me just as bad.”
She did, pulling him tight with an urgency that surprised and thrilled her just as much as it did him. And then he was grabbing her wrists, his hands threading their fingers together as he pressed her hands to the bed beside her head.
“Wrap your legs around me.” He growled the command, his voice rough with need. His control was breaking; she could see it as she looked up at him. He watched her eyes as he began to pound into her, his whole body tight, every muscle flexing with his exertions as he took control of her, of this. His mouth came down on hers, his tongue delving inside, demanding everything. And she gave, taking him deep. He kissed her a long time, until he had to break away so they both could breathe.
He released one of her hands, and she felt his palm closing around one breast, lifting it and then he dipped his head, his mouth latching onto her nipple. With the deep pulling tug, her head went back into the pillow and her back arched, offering her breast up for more. He moaned against it, sucking long and hard, giving her exactly what her body silently begged him for. A jolt shot through her, straight between her legs, and she undulated, her hips lifting to meet his.
His mouth broke free of her nipple with a pop. And then he was up on his knees, his hands locking around her thighs, pulling her up against him, dragging her ass up his thighs as he began to pound into her with everything he had. His eyes locked with hers a moment before they broke free to watch her breasts bounce with his assault. That only drove him on to a more furious pummeling. And she took it, revealed in it, watching a sheen of sweat form on his flexing muscles, taking in the glory of his masculine power and this deeply primal act. And finally watching him growl as his control broke, and he found his release, his body going solid and still, as he poured into her.
His breathing sawed in and out, and he released his grip on her thighs. He planted one palm in the mattress next to her, bringing his slick, sweat covered body down on top of her.
Her arms and legs immediately wrapped around him, enfolding him in her embrace. She held him as his breathing slowed, and his body melted deep against hers, every muscle relaxing. One of her hands drifted up, her fingers threading through the hair at the base of his neck. His head turned, his mouth nuzzling just behind her ear, pressing kisses along her neck. She turned her head, her mouth seeking out his. And he gave it to her, kissing her deeply. He lifted, one hand coming to her face, his palm stroking her cheek. He gazed down at her.
And then he smiled, and it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.
CHAPTER TEN
Ghost awoke to the sound of his phone vibrating on the nightstand. He cracked an eye open. The room was dark, but soft morning light filtered in around the window curtain. Picking up his phone, he squinted at the time. Eight. Groaning, he swiped the alarm off and set the phone back down.
When he moved his hand back to his waist, he felt the small hand on his abs, the soft skin of the arm around his ribs, and the warmth snuggled to his back.
He closed his eyes. Christ, he’d fucked up.
Last night had been amazing. Phenomenal. Best he’d ever had. No fucking lie. But today he had to shut it down, tell her they couldn’t do this. That last night had been a huge mistake.
She was going to end up hating him, one way or another. He could only hope that by nipping this in the bud, they would avoid the worst of it. Maybe by some miracle they could go back to the way it was. Maybe once she’d had a taste of this, it would be enough for her. Maybe it had all just been curiosity on her part. Maybe she’d just always wondered at roads not taken, and all that bullshit.
Hell, he knew he had.
He’d wondered about the what-ifs for years. Wondered what if they’d crossed this line back then. Wondered what if they’d run off together. Left it all behind. But that wasn’t the way the world worked. Shit like that never worked out. Not that society’s mores had ever meant that much to him, but she’d always been a line to him, a line he knew he shouldn’t cross.
But that wasn’t what had him second-guessing what they’d done last night now as he lie next to her sweet body. No, it was much more than that. It was the secret he carried. The shit she didn’t know about.
The one thing he knew she’d never be able to forgive.
He rolled to his back, and she tucked up under his arm, her head landing on his chest.
“Jess.” He rubbed her back, shaking her gently. “Jess, wake up.”
She groaned, her hand sliding across his belly.
Fuc
k, that hand dipped any lower and they were gonna have a totally different wake-up call.
“Jess.” His hand clamped over her wrist, keeping hers from straying any further south.
“Hmm,” she groaned.
He moved to slide out from under her, swinging his legs over the side of the bed as he glanced back to find her blinking her pretty sleepy eyes at him. And then she smiled, and it took his breath.
“Good morning,” she murmured.
“Mornin’,” he grunted back.
Her hand slid across the sheet and up his back. When she spoke, her voice came out breathy, low and sexy as hell.
“Come back to bed.”
Tempting. Very tempting. Eve holding out that apple again.
He stood, yanking his jeans on, needing to put some distance between them before he turned back to look down at her.
Confusion. That’s what he saw on her face. Better than the hatred that someday would replace it.
“Time to roll, baby doll.” He lifted his chin toward the bathroom. “You want to go first?”
She shook her head, clutching the sheet to her chest as if she were now unsure of herself. Fuck he hated doing that to her. Making her feel insecure in her own sexuality. He suddenly felt the need to say something.
“Look, Jess, last night—” He broke off. How the hell should he say this?
She looked up at him then, meeting his eyes, but with a wariness that he hated seeing there.
Fuck, just say it, you pussy.
“It shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have let it go that far.” He watched her face harden, and her jaw tighten.
“Please, spare me the blow-off speech like I’m some…some piece of club ass you picked up for the night.”
That got his anger up, and he gritted his own teeth. “Didn’t say you were. And for your information, I don’t give club ass a blow-off speech. I don’t have to. They know the score. They know what this shit is.”
“This shit?”
Goddamn. The look on her face tore at him. He hadn’t meant to snap at her like that.