by Nicole James
He didn’t deny it.
“Once he signed, I told him the truth, that I never had any intention of signing up. I knew, even then, that my life was drawn to a different path, one that never would have been right for him. He needed to take the right path. I made sure he did.” He paused, staring at the ground, perhaps reliving the moment. “He’d felt so betrayed.”
When she didn’t respond, his eyes lifted to hers. She knew her eyes must give away the pain she felt.
“You look like you just found out Santa Claus isn’t real. Or maybe that I’m not the knight in shining armor you made me out to be. I’m not, Jess. Hell, I never had been. And maybe it’s time you open your eyes to that. You’re not a child anymore.”
“No I’m not. So why don’t you explain it to me.”
“I thought I’d been protecting him. Thought I was doing the right thing. I couldn’t let him join the MC. And that’s the road I was headed down. I couldn’t let him follow me down that road.” He shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe I was wrong…maybe if I’d kept him with me, I could have looked out for him.”
She pushed away from him, spinning as fury consuming her. “He trusted you.”
Ghost nodded, his jaw locked tight.
“All this talk about him wanting to have your back, what about when he needed you to have his back? You could have saved him. If you had been there with him, you could have saved him.”
“Baby.” He reached for her, but she stepped back, as if his touch was poison. And perhaps right then, to her, it was.
“I can’t even bear to look at you,” she hissed. As the words came out of her mouth, all his warnings flooded over her. He’d told her this would change things. That this would change everything. That this would destroy them. She shook her head, tears spilling over her lashes. He was so right about that. This had changed everything. And maybe it had even destroyed them. It felt like it at that moment.
She took a step back, her brain scrambling for what to say, what to do. She glanced toward the road before returning her eyes to his. He didn’t miss it.
“You’re thinking of leaving, aren’t you?”
She stayed silent, her eyes locked with his as she felt her heart breaking in two.
“Aren’t you?” he repeated with a little more bite.
She nodded, giving him the truth he’d always asked for. “Yes.”
He ran a hand through his hair, stepping away. And then he whirled back to her. “You want to leave, I can’t blame you, and I won’t stop you, but before you do, before you go, I have something to show you.”
She shook her head. What could he possibly have that she would want to see now? But then Skylar’s words came back to her.
Give him a chance to explain fully. Hear him out.
“Please, Jessie,” he asked quietly.
She found herself nodding once. “All right.”
He led her inside, and surprisingly stopped in front of his computer, hitting some keys until he had pulled up what appeared to be a saved file. He clicked on it, and an email popped up. Then he stepped back, nodding toward the screen.
“I saved this. You should read it.”
She frowned at the screen. “What is it?”
He lifted his chin toward the computer. “You’ll see.”
And then he walked away. Going to stand in front of the wall of windows, his hands in his pockets. Her eyes followed him, and then, as if draw by a magnet, they returned to the screen. She sat in the chair and started at the top.
Billy—
You and I are through. You made sure of it that day in the recruiter’s office. And I get it. You probably had a good laugh about it, huh? How I bought it, hook, line and sinker. You in the military? Right. Only a fool would think you could ever be cut out for that kind of brotherhood, the kind that really counts.
So I’ll never contact you again. And I’ll never ask anything of you again. Except for one last thing. If something should happen to me over here, I want you to make sure she’s okay.
I’m asking you, as a brother, to watch out for Jessie.
You do that and we’re square.
Robert
She turned and looked back at him. “He never told me any of this. He never told me you’d had a falling out. He never let on. Not once.”
Ghost nodded, not turning around.
“He told me…he told me if I ever got into trouble, if I ever needed someone while he was gone, I was to go to you. That you’d help me.”
That had him turning. And she could see that his eyes were glassy. He nodded. “You know I’ll always be there for you.”
They studied each other for a long moment. All the feelings she had for him warred within her.
He lifted his chin toward the door. “And if you walk out that door, that’s still true.”
She stood frozen. And then her legs were carrying her to the door. When she reached out for the knob, she heard his voice, gruff and thick.
“I love you, Jess.”
She paused and looked back at him. “I love you, too. That’s what makes this so hard. What you did? I lost my brother, Ghost. Because you talked him into joining.”
“You lost your brother because of a roadside IED.”
She shook her head.
“Jess.”
“I’ll call a cab.”
“Fuck. Babe. You don’t have to do that. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”
She shook her head again and slipped out the door.
***
When the cab pulled up to collect her, Ghost sat listening. He heard the the sound of the car door opening, then slamming, and then the tires crunching on the gravel as it pulled back down the drive. And suddenly the house felt so empty, and he felt more alone than he’d ever felt before. Maybe even more than when his mom died.
He strode out onto the terrace where he collapsed in a chair and stared at the runway lights, watching the planes land and take off in the darkness for what must have been hours. His mind going over every word they’d said. Wondering if he’d lost Jessie for good. If he’d ever see her again, ever hold her in his arms again or taste her skin or hear the breathy sound she made as he slid inside her.
He loved her, down to his soul, and to sit here imagining he’d never see her again drove an ache inside him so deep that he worried the pain might kill him.
Eventually, he heard the rumble of a set of pipes roll up the long drive. His hand automatically went to the gun he’d set down on the side table, his palm resting lightly over the cold metal. Most likely, it was a brother. But it could also be a Death Head, come to settle the score.
A dark shape moved around the side of the building.
“Ghost, you out here?”
Blood.
Not even in his top ten of who might come see him.
“Yeah,” he called out, taking his hand off his piece. He was slouched back in his chair, his fingers laced together when he looked up at his visitor.
Blood’s eyes move to the pistol, and then back to him with a grin.
“Expecting me?”
Ghost huffed out a laugh and eyed him. “There might be a round in the chamber with your name on it.”
It was Blood’s turn to huff out a laugh. “Right.”
Ghost watched Blood’s eyes move around the property, eying the dark corners, scoping out possible attack routes. “If that isn’t for me, then you must be expecting trouble.”
It wasn’t really a question, so Ghost didn’t answer it.
Blood plopped down in the chair next to him, reached his hand inside his cut and dug something out of his inner pocket. A moment later, he dipped his head, and a lighter flared as he lit up. Holding the joint out to Ghost, he offered, “Here, you look like you could use this.”
Ghost took it, inhaling long and deep.
Blood eyed him, his eyes squinting through the smoke he exhaled. “I remember the last time we smoked a joint together, one of us had just pissed off a woman.”
Ghost coc
ked a brow, his lungs expanding. “One of us? That was all you, bro.”
Blood grinned, knowing the truth of Ghost’s words.
Ghost remembered that night. It had been at the beach. They’d all been down at the Gulf Coast. Blood had pissed off Skylar, and the two had had words. Ghost couldn’t help but smile at the memory. She’d been a little spitfire that night, all teeth and claws. Kind of surprised the hell out of him, since he’d thought of her as a scared little kitten back then. She’d proven them all wrong.
“So this time it’s your turn, huh?”
“Guess so,” Ghost admitted. “Apparently, I’m not always the smartest tool in the shed.”
Blood snorted. “Tool being the operative word.”
“Fuck you.”
“Luckily, she seems to have smarts enough for both of you,” Blood teased.
“Smart enough to walk out that door.”
“What’d you do?”
Ghost shook his head. “Just something I did years ago comin’ round to bite me in the ass.”
“You want to talk about it.”
“Fuck no,” Ghost spat.
Blood grinned. “Thank God.”
“Asshole.”
“Hey, we both know I ain’t Dr. Phil.”
Ghost looked at him and chuckled. “No shit.”
Blood huffed out a laugh.
“Was there a point to this visit?” Ghost asked.
“Yeah, came to tell you the Devil Kings found their snitch.”
“Oh really?”
“Yup. Got all sorts of info out of him. Having a meeting about it.”
“What time?”
“Now.”
***
Ghost took his seat at the scarred wooden table in the dimly lit room that was crowded with his brothers, a room that wasn’t damaged by the carnage from the attack. The common room of the clubhouse was currently in a state of remodel, plywood boarding up the gaping holes.
Butcher looked over at him. “Nice of you to join us. Think maybe next time you could answer your damn phone, so I don’t gotta send a man clear out there to get you?”
Wasn’t the first time his President had reprimanded him for something. Wouldn’t be the last. And right now, the mood he was in, he really didn’t give a shit. He caught the smile on Shades’ face as he tried to hide it. Then his eyes slid to Blood, who stood against the wall, his arms folded. The man winked at him and blew him a kiss.
Ghost made a kissy face back at him.
Judging by the laughter in the room, the rest of his brothers enjoyed it, which only seemed to infuriate his President even more. He slammed the gavel down.
“Knock it off! And come to fucking order!”
The room got quiet. Ghost’s eyes moved around the room. Even Undertaker was there, which meant the New Orleans Chapter was going to play a part. How big remained to be seen.
“Most of you have already heard. DKs found their snitch. Guy named Mugs. Ran the Georgia Hell’s Harvesters before the DKs patched them in. From what they got outta him, Florida’s half crazy. His men are getting more and more leery of him. Seems their VP was trying to cut a deal with Mugs behind Florida’s back. Trying to pull Mugs from the DKs, get him the fuck out of there. Deal was, if Quill did that, Mugs gets his men to throw in with Quill in a bid for the Jacksonville Chapter. Seems the VP has ambitions.”
“Balls, too, if he was thinking to take the newly patched over Hell’s Harvesters out from under the Devil Kings.”
“None of ‘em were too happy with that deal. Seems if they gotta swing one way or the other, they’d all rather swing toward the Death Heads.”
“Great.”
“So, this guy was going to pull his whole crew and move ‘em down to Jacksonville.”
“Seems Quill promised him the VP position.” He shrugged. “A lot more power than he was ever gonna see with the DKs.”
“And how does all this bullshit work into our plan?”
He grinned. “Perfectly.”
“So, you’re sayin’, we take out Florida, it falls right into Quill’s plans?”
“Yup. He steps into the President’s position without having to make a move.”
“You think the Death Heads are gonna let us take out the fucking Jacksonville Chapter President and let it slide? No fucking way.”
“I’ve got some news on that,” a deep voice said.
Ghost and the rest of them turned to look. Undertaker leaned against the wall, his arms folded, his face in the shadows until he pushed off the wall and stepped forward into the glow of the light that hung over the table.
“Got some informants on the Louisiana-Texas border. Word out of Texas is the Death Heads were thinking about sending in their Nomads to Jacksonville. Lookin’ to clean house. Seems their meeting with him in Sturgis opened some eyes to how fucking crazy the guy’s becoming.”
Butcher’s eyes connected with Undertaker’s, and he nodded. “Good news. Seems we’ll be savin’ ‘em a trip.”
Undertaker nodded.
“You gonna join us for this little party?” Butcher asked.
Undertaker grinned. “Wouldn’t miss it, old man.”
Butcher grunted out a laugh. “Look who’s talking.”
It took them another hour to work out the details.
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
Tink pulled her beat up old Rambler down the alley, stopping behind the clubhouse gates. Jessie yanked the door handle, looking over at her.
“Thanks for the ride. And for letting me stay with you.”
Tink peered out through the windshield. “I’d go in with you, but I’ve got to get to work.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“You sure?”
Jessie nodded.
Yammer approached the car, leaning into the doorframe and peering in at Tink. “Hey, doll. Ain’t you stayin’?”
The prospect was a shameless flirt when it came to Tink. A factor that Jessie had already learned was a stupid move. Especially when Hammer seemed to have already staked a claim to her. One Tink was quick to deny, a little too vehemently it seemed to Jessie. Someday maybe she’d get the full story on those two.
Tink gave the man a sugary sweet smile. “Sorry, wish I could, but I’ve got to work, Yammer. But Jessie here can stay. Let her in, will ya?”
“Sure thing, Tink. Maybe I’ll see you later tonight, after you get off work?” he asked hopefully.
“Maybe,” she replied, waving her fingers as Jessie climbed out and shut the car door. Then she pulled away.
Yammer looked over at Jessie. “She sure is somethin’, huh?”
Jessie smiled. “She sure is.”
Then he unlatched the gate and let her in.
She glanced around the yard. It seemed very quiet. There were only three bikes parked, and none of them were Ghost’s. She moved to the back door and let herself in. It took her a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. When they did, she spotted Boo behind the bar, and one man sitting on the other side, hunched over a drink. He was one of the older members. A man named, Boot.
He turned to look over his shoulder as she approached.
“He’s not here, darlin’.”
She took the stool next to him. “Do you know where he is?”
Boot blew a stream of smoke at the ceiling, and eyed her. “Maybe.”
Boo walked over; his palms on the bar, he asked her, “Can I get you a drink, Jessie?”
Before she had a chance to answer, Boot told him, “Set her up with a whiskey.”
Boo connected eyes with her, then moved off to do as he was told.
“Maybe I don’t like whiskey,” she said.
“Maybe you’ll drink it anyway.” He downed his own drink.
“O-kay,” she replied softly.
“Thought you ran off?” Boot asked her.
“I’m back.”
“I see that. Question is, for how long?” He swiveled on his bar stool to face her, leaning his elbow on the bar.
&nbs
p; “As long as Ghost will have me, I guess.”
“What makes you think Ghost wants you back?”
“What makes you think he doesn’t?” she countered right back.
Boot chuckled. “Heard you were a feisty thing.”
“Maybe that’s what he needs.”
“What he needs is a woman that’s not gonna lie to him. A woman that’s not gonna run at the first sign of trouble.” He arched a brow at her.
“He lied to me, too.”
“Yeah, heard he did. Also heard he forgave you. Way I heard it, you didn’t give him the same courtesy.”
Her chin came up. “Maybe I deserve that. Maybe I’ve made some mistakes—”
He laughed. “Maybe?”
“Okay, I have. We both have. I forgive him now. It just took me some time to come to terms with what he did. Can’t a person realize they fucked up and change?”
“Sometimes.” He eyed her. “You grow up all of a sudden?”
“I guess you could say that.”
“And what’d you learn?”
“I guess I realized that there are consequences. That my actions hurt people, hurt Ghost.”
“Well, good for you.”
“Where is he, Boot?” She searched his eyes.
“You in love with him, honey?”
She took in a breath, not wanting to tell him. That was between her and Ghost. Not anyone else’s business, especially not one of his brothers. But the man seemed determine to put her to the test. Maybe this was all part of seeing if she was good enough for one of his brothers.
“If you must know, yes, I am.”
He studied her, apparently waiting for more.
She huffed out a breath and gave him more.
“He makes me feel secure. I may never completely stop being bratty, but I won’t ever lie to him again. I’m not afraid to let him in anymore, to see all my flaws, mistakes and all. I can’t lose him now.”
Boot reached for his glass.
She frowned.
Was he totally unaffected by her words?
“Please, Boot, tell me where he is so I can tell him that.”
“You’re too late.”
She felt herself literally deflate inside. “What?”