by Anne Douglas
Weeks went by, anyway, and the summer was turning to autumn before definite news of Lorne came from Greg enclosing a card she’d sent postmarked Dublin. So she and Rory were in Ireland? Why Ireland? Never mind, it was good to have some idea of where they were at all. Though she was due to begin cleaning the family dining room, Rosa decided to read Lorne’s card at once to see if there was any real news of what her sister was doing.
All she said, however, was that she was well, having a heavenly time, and that she and Rory would soon be moving on, so if anyone came looking for them, they’d find ‘the birds had flown’. And Rosa could picture her sister laughing over that before she’d sent her love and signed off with a flourish.
What to make of the situation? Rosa could make very little. So far, so good, perhaps, for Lorne, but this was early days and there was always the prospect that Mr Thain would catch up with Rory and make him return home.
’Course, as promised, it was me who had to tell Mr Thain there was news of Lorne, Greg had written in his letter. And as soon as he heard, he started fixing up to go to Ireland with these men he’s taken on – private detectives, like in books. Money no object, anyways, but seems to me they will be looking for needles in a haystack. What good is knowing Lorne and this fellow had gone to Ireland? They could be anywhere now.’
True enough, thought Rosa, reading her father’s final comments, which were about himself.
Do not be worrying about me, Rosa, he wrote in a straggling postscript. Mrs MacRitchie is very good, for ever giving me things to eat. To cheer me up, she says. Well, I hope you can cheer up too and come back home for a day or two. I am not wanting to lose you like I have lost Lorne. Your loving father, G. Malcolm.
Do not be worrying about me, he had written. Rosa heaved a sigh. Did he really think she wouldn’t be worrying about the prospect of having Mrs MacRitchie as a stepmother? For it looked like the widow was strengthening her hold, providing ever more tasty meals to ‘cheer up’ her quarry, and maybe succeeding?
Certainly, Da was in a low state after what Lorne had done and could be feeling lonelier than usual, so might this not be the time, having resisted for so long, that he would look on the widow next door not only as a provider of good food but as his special company? Was it wrong not to want that comfort for him?
After all, in the past, Rosa and Lorne, while not wanting their father to marry again, had been relieved that there was someone willing to ‘look out for him’. Maybe it was selfish, then, to refuse that someone her just reward, as she would see it? If it was what Da himself wanted as well?
Oh, if only the clock could be put back and Lorne could still be able to come home from Bluff House, ready to meet up with Rosa and laugh over Mrs MacRitchie’s plan of attack as they had laughed together in the old days! But of course, Lorne couldn’t do that. She had left in terrible circumstances, having broken Daniel’s heart, for which she could never be forgiven. The strange thing was, though, that as Rosa stood with Lorne’s postcard in her hand, for a fleeting moment she knew that, in spite of all her sister had done, she missed her still.
‘Hey, aren’t we supposed to be turning out the dining room this morning?’ Greta’s voice interrupted Rosa’s thoughts. ‘We’ll be in trouble if it’s not ready by lunchtime!’
‘Well, where’ve you been, anyway?’ asked Rosa. ‘I didn’t see you around and I wanted you to work with me.’
‘I was finishing off upstairs. Thought you’d have made a start.’ Greta bustled about, moving dining chairs aside so that she could sweep under the table. ‘All right for you, anyway – you’ve got your afternoon off to look forward to!’
‘My afternoon off?’
‘Don’t say you’ve forgotten!’
‘Of course not!’ Rosa – who had, in fact, done just that – was quick to respond. ‘Who’d forget their afternoon off?’
Twelve
The weather for Rosa’s half day off was perfect – autumn at its best, with a high blue sky, bright sunshine and crisp, pleasant air. So different from Inverness in winter’s grip, or even in chill summers that could have been winters anyway. Yes, as Greta had said, things were ‘all right’ for Rosa, at least for her afternoon off, and she decided to forego shopping and just stroll in the park, breathing the healthy outdoor air she so often missed.
Taking a seat on a bench overlooking a large pond and not minding too much that it wasn’t the Moray Firth, she felt relief that she’d put on her pale grey skirt and short jacket which were perfect for the autumn sun. Even so, her thick coil of hair felt too heavy on her neck and she took off her large blue hat to fan herself. At this rate, she might even get sunburnt, though she felt the sun was not quite strong enough, and in any case, she was so starved of sunlight, being indoors so much, she was loath to look for shade. She was thinking that maybe, in a little while, she’d go back to her favourite little café and have a cup of tea – she was, after all, quite thirsty – when a man’s voice close by spoke her name.
‘Rosa?’
In all the warmth around her, she froze, for she knew that voice, of course she did, though how its owner came to be in Inverness she couldn’t imagine. She must respond, though – rise and face the man who had said her name and think what she could say. But, oh, dear Lord, what could she say to someone so damaged by her own sister?
‘Daniel?’ she whispered at last, rising, hat in hand, to face him, knowing she was right, that it was Daniel MacNeil. Yet so thin it was no wonder she’d been at first taken aback. Not altogether changed, thank God – his good looks had not deserted him – but he seemed like one who’d been ill and not long recovered. Convalescent, perhaps? She couldn’t be sure. Better, anyhow, than when she’d seen him six months ago.
‘Yes, it’s me,’ he said gently. ‘I know I don’t look the same.’
‘You do, you do!’ she cried hastily. ‘I knew you at once! But why ever are you in Inverness?’
‘Just to order certain woods I need – came over in my van. It was such a nice day, I left it at the station and thought I’d walk in the park. May I sit down for a minute?’
‘Oh, please do.’
As he took his seat next to her on the bench, she noticed that his light jacket and flannels hung so loosely on him they might well have belonged to someone else, but his manner, it seemed to her, was easier than it might have been. Somehow, he must have worked out a way of living with what had happened, which, if it was surprising, at the same time very much relieved her. This meeting might be easier than she had feared.
All the same, under his gaze, she still couldn’t think what to say, only fiddled with the hat she’d just taken off and would have put on again, except that Daniel suddenly stayed her hand.
‘No, don’t cover up your hair, Rosa. It looks so nice, free like that.’
‘Trouble is there’s too much of it for a warm day like today.’ She laughed a little. ‘I sometimes wish girls could cut their hair short – I mean, why not?’
‘Why shouldn’t girls cut their hair?’ Daniel smiled. ‘I cannot imagine that they ever would. Remember, there was a girl at our school who’d had her hair cut but only because she’d had scarlet fever? Soon grew it again, I think.’
He was talking so easily, she might have thought he was better, quite over what Lorne had done but, looking at his thin face, Rosa somehow knew he was not better at all. He might seem so, but his fine blue eyes, though no longer like the eyes of a dead man, still had a bleakness which gave the lie to his easy manner, and it was clear that the damage wrought on him by Lorne would take a long time to heal. Trying not to think of how he must hate her sister as well as love her, Rosa stood up, finally putting on her hat and smoothing down her long skirts.
‘I must go,’ she murmured as Daniel leaped to his feet. ‘Time’s getting on.’
‘Oh, surely, not yet! I was hoping we could have a cup of tea together. I mean, if this is your afternoon off, couldn’t we have tea somewhere? I know a very good tearoom.’
‘It’s not the Scottish Harebell, is it?’
‘It is. You know it too?’
‘My favourite café.’
‘Then let’s go. What do you say?’
‘Well, I usually do have a cup of tea before I go back. Mustn’t stay long, though.’
‘We’ll keep an eye on the time.’
For a moment, they hesitated until, with a good imitation of being relaxed, they left the park together.
Thirteen
When they were seated at a corner table in the café, a pot of tea and toasted teacakes before them, Rosa knew she would have to look into Daniel’s eyes again. You couldn’t really sit opposite someone without meeting their gaze, but she still wished she needn’t, for she had been upset by what Daniel’s eyes had told her already and didn’t want to think again of what her sister had done.
It helped that she had to pour the tea and add the milk he said he would like but not the sugar, and then pass him his cup with a brief – very brief – glance before offering him the plate of toasted teacakes. Let’s hope he eats one, she thought, and after he’d taken one he did look as though he might. But then he only drank his tea, and she was driven to say, ‘You should eat something, Daniel. You need to put on weight.’
He raised his eyebrows, no doubt as surprised to hear a personal remark from Rosa as she was herself.
‘You think I’m too thin?’ he asked. ‘Well, maybe I am, but it’s only temporary – I did lose my appetite for a while but it’s certainly returning now.’
‘I’m glad to hear that, then.’ Rosa looked down at her plate. ‘It’s not surprising, after what happened, that you’d be – you know – shaken up. It was a terrible thing that Lorne did.’ She raised her eyes to find Daniel’s gaze resting on her intently, as though what she had to say was important to him, which was unnerving.
‘Da and me,’ she struggled on, ‘we’ve felt bad over it all along because – well, we can’t forgive her. Any more than you can.’
‘I suppose it was the way it was done,’ he said slowly, having eaten a little of his teacake. ‘I mean, there was no warning, Rosa, it all came out of the blue – and on the wedding day.’
‘I know, I know. She did say in her letter that she’d wanted to tell you earlier but couldn’t find the courage.’
‘Found it in the end, didn’t she?’
After that remark, both fell silent, supposedly concentrating on their tea, until Rosa set down her cup and asked, diffidently, if Daniel minded her talking about what had happened? Maybe she’d stirred things up too much?
‘No, not at all. In fact, I think it’s done me good to talk to you today. I haven’t been able to mention her name, you see, since she left me.’ Suddenly, Daniel put his hand to his chest. ‘It was all inside me – here, festering – and I knew I should get rid of it, try to get better, but what could I do? I couldn’t even talk about her, you see. Until today.’
‘It was the right time, then,’ Rosa said softly, her dark eyes large with compassion. ‘The right time, Daniel, to talk.’
They rose together and, when Daniel had paid the bill, left the café, walking slowly towards a small public garden where they took seats on a bench.
Fourteen
‘How long have we got?’ Daniel asked. ‘When have you to be back?’
‘In about an hour or so.’
‘An hour. That’s good.’
For a moment, he paused, seeming to strengthen his determination to speak, then tried a smile. ‘Never thought I’d ask you this, Rosa, but … have you heard from her?’
She hesitated, but only for a moment. ‘Yes, we have. Da had a letter. She’s in Ireland. Or was, anyway. She wouldn’t tell us where – didn’t want the Thains to know. Said she’d soon be moving on anyway.’
‘Ireland? They’ve gone to Ireland?’
Daniel had stiffened, gazing at Rosa as though she’d said something significant, yet what it could be she had no idea.
‘Does it seem a strange choice?’ she asked. ‘I expect it’s just a place they thought Mr Thain wouldn’t think of looking for them, but Da has to give him any news Lorne sends. He promised.’
Daniel wasn’t listening. ‘Ireland is where she wanted us to go for our honeymoon,’ he said in a low voice. ‘She asked me if we could afford it. I said we could not – I’d just begun renting my van and was short of cash. So we settled on Strathpeffer, as you know. But Ireland was what she fancied – said it was the Emerald Isle, a perfect place.’
‘Never mentioned it to me,’ remarked Rosa, then was silent, remembering that there were so many things her sister had never mentioned.
‘But must have told him, though. The Thain fellow? And of course he could afford it, couldn’t he?’ Daniel laughed shortly. ‘No wonder she chose him. Why did I ever think I had a chance with her? She never really wanted me at all.’
‘Daniel, that’s not true. I promise you, it’s not!’
He shook his head, looking into the distance, seeing only the past; unaware, it seemed, of Rosa by his side, longing to make him believe in Lorne’s early love for him, if only to soften his pain.
‘Oh, I suppose she was happy when I managed to buy her the ring,’ he said after a pause. ‘She was certainly excited about the wedding. Maybe she thought she’d never meet the one she really wanted so she settled for one she didn’t want.’
‘Don’t talk like that, Daniel! I’m sure Lorne did love you! She was led astray by Rory Thain. He turned her head, that’s all it was—’
Even as she spoke, Rosa knew it wasn’t true. She’d read Lorne’s letter where nothing could have been plainer: There is someone else who loves me and I love him like I never loved Daniel. That was what Lorne had written. There was the truth, which it seemed Daniel already knew but Rosa wasn’t prepared to let him accept it. Somehow, she felt she must salvage something from the intense love he’d lavished on her sister, just to make him feel better. But she was not to succeed.
‘No, Rosa. I have to face it,’ he told her quietly. ‘Have in fact been facing it for some time. The truth is she never loved me.’
There it was: the truth Daniel had reached for himself, perhaps would have reached even if Lorne had never left him, for to love someone as he loved her must have given him a sort of extra sense. If only he had never become involved with her! But what was the use of wishing the impossible?
‘I’d better go,’ Rosa was beginning tiredly, when he suddenly took her hand.
‘Look, I’m sorry, Rosa, about all this talk of what happened to me. Will you forgive me for going on about it?’
‘Daniel, you don’t have to ask me that. I was glad we talked, you know I was.’
‘Well, all I know is I can’t tell you how pleased I was to see you sitting on that bench when I walked into the park. It really cheered me – I knew you were a friend, you see. And then we talked and that helped more than I can say. I feel better than I’ve felt for weeks.’
‘That’s so good to hear, Daniel.’
For a long moment, they studied each other, his eyes holding a new warmth that made her heart beat faster, even as he released her hand.
‘Rosa, I’d like us to meet again. Would you like that?’
Her heart still thumping, her colour rising, she made herself appear calm and said simply, ‘Yes, I’d like it, Daniel.’
‘That’s good, I’m glad. But how shall we arrange it? You can’t come over to Carron very often – shall we say I’ll come here? Meet you on your afternoon off?’
‘That would be best.’
‘Maybe we’ll go to Loch Ness, see the monster?’ He smiled. ‘Or just walk again in the park? Shall we say, in two weeks’ time we’ll meet at the park gates? What time would suit you?’
How quick he was at making arrangements! As though there was no time to be lost? Happy that he should feel that way, she couldn’t help wondering why he should be so anxious to see her again. Was it just to talk, to release the floodgates of the feelings he’d been holding ba
ck for so long? She supposed that must be it, for it clearly could not be that he wanted to replace Lorne with herself. No, no, that was out of the question – she didn’t even consider it. He might hate Lorne now for what she had done, but he was as much in thrall to her as ever, and to be freed would take a long, long time.
‘Will two o’clock be all right?’ he asked, having waited for her to speak, and she hastily left her thoughts to tell him that two o’clock at the park gates would suit her very well.
‘That’s wonderful. Depending on the weather, we can decide what we want to do then. Now, may I see you back to where you work?’
‘No need, Daniel. You’ll be wanting to leave for home. It’s been good, though, meeting up, hasn’t it?’
‘Meant a lot to me. Thank you for agreeing to meet me again. Are you sure you’re happy about it, Rosa? Happy to see me again?’
‘I’m very happy, Daniel.’
‘You’re sure? You’re looking doubtful—’
‘No, no, I’m not. It’s just—’
‘What? What is it?’
‘Just that I’m wondering, you know, if you’d be telling your mother about seeing me?’
‘My mother? Why ever have you thought of her? Look, I love her very much but I make my own decisions. She has no say in what I do.’
‘If you’re sure … I don’t want to upset her.’
‘Leave it all to me. I know what to say to my mother. Now, are you sure I can’t see you back to the house?’
‘Yes, truly, there’s no need. You’ve a long drive home – better make a start.’ Rosa put out her hand, which he took with a quick, firm response and held for some moments until she withdrew it and thanked him for the tea. ‘We’ll meet again, then, in two weeks?’