Were his nerves making him doubt her sincerity? He blew out again.
Before she could assure Ben, he locked serious eyes with her and unbuttoned his pants and then slid the zipper down. She could tell he was having a hard time deciding whether he should stand or sit so he ended up in an awkward crouched position until he dropped to his butt and pulled them off each lengthy leg. She expected he’d stop there, for a breather maybe or to begin undressing her but her long-limbed sweetheart of a man slid his fingers under his waist band and soon his briefs were off too.
She didn’t mean to gasp but now that he was bared to her, she saw the pink, uneven skin of his left hip and upper thigh. It looked like he’d been burned. “Ben…”
“I trust you, Hazel.” She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “This,” he gestured to his groin scarred skin, “is why I was so in shock that you’d slept with me that first night. You didn’t say anything about it so I figured you’d slept with me and it hadn’t bothered you.”
Not sure if any words would say what she needed him to hear, she kept it short and true. “Like I said, you’re a beautiful man. And I’m so sorry.”
Drawn to a part of him that had been undoubtedly wracked with pain, she leaned down and ever so gently laid a kiss over that pinked skin. Feeling the hardened tissue, she couldn’t help but ask, “What happened, hun?”
Ben brought her head up, smoothing his fingers through her hair. “Accident from when I was a freshman in high school. Wouldn’t you know it, trying to impress a girl.” He frowned but kept going. “I was in Home Ec and my partner and I were making pasta from scratch. I had already boiled our pot of water so she could leave class early and Meg didn’t realize it. She pulled the pot off the stove too fast and some of the boiling hot water spilled on her hand. She didn’t mean to, but her instant reaction was to let go and let the pot fall. It would have gotten her had I not jumped in front. It landed on me and burned through my pants.”
“Oh Ben, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. It healed after a while but, you know…”
“No, I don’t know. What?”
“I was ecstatic to graduate high school.”
She did not want to hear that kids gave him a hard time about being burned. Had they actually done that to him? “Ben, what happened with the girl?” She stroked her palm gently up his thigh, which aside from the serious nature of their talk, still managed to stimulate his body. Hazel couldn’t believe how open he was being with her, how his body loved her touch. And how badly she wanted to make love to him until he felt more virile and capable than even Superman. He’d been hiding so much from her.
“She was nice enough to ride with me to the emergency room but I could tell she wasn’t really into me after that. There were a few other guys who were interested in her when I finally asked her out. I have good taste, you know. But these guys gave her crap over it. I stayed away from her after she politely said no, didn’t want to make it any worse. Then after graduation, I moved to Los Angeles.”
“Can I ask? Is that what this is about?” Hazel touched her fingertips to his chest and the selfie tattoo about love healing his wounds that had clued him in about her lie. It had faded a little.
“Yeah.”
“Are you thinking about making it permanent?”
He looked bashful but she coaxed whatever he had to say out with another stroke to his thigh, creeping closer to his erection and the soft hairs surrounding it. She watched the smooth muscles of his stomach shudder. “No, I’ve just been drawing that on there off and on for a while. Is that crazy?” His eyelids nearly closed each time she stroked him.
“Ben, that’s not at all crazy. I hope the next time you and I find ourselves naked together, that it’s gone. And that I’m the reason why.”
With that, she’d brought back his sexy smile. Which came with a sexy kiss, and the hottest, most delectable tongue action she’d ever had.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked her, his head following her hand that she’d let drift further into the soft patch of hairs growing between his thighs.
She didn’t know if he meant for more food, more talking, or more touching, but yes, with Ben, she was sure.
****
She was here. She’d come.
And he wasn’t letting her leave.
He turned off his hanging lantern now that she’d seen what he needed her to see and she hadn’t bolted. He’d be sure and see all of her when they woke up in the morning. For now, he just wanted to feel a woman’s touch. This woman’s touch.
The camp was quiet, except for his heart and her breath. Ben sank his fingers deep into her long, soft curls and placed his other hand on top of hers. Gliding his hand along with her while she stroked him was by far the sexiest thing he’d ever done with a woman.
Breathe, Ben.
Chapter Fifteen
Hazel had come to know two Bens this week. The cute, quirky one with the goofy grin, funky slang and bright green eyes and this one. His touch was incredibly gentle and he didn’t fumble around, making her feel like an experiment. The vulnerability he’d shown with his scar tissue kicked her desire to levels beyond anything she’d ever felt. Laying on his sleeping pads, hidden inside his tent, snuggled so closely under the stars, it was a fantasy she’d only realized these past twenty minutes as it happened in real time.
This was what life, love and happiness should be like.
His lips tiptoed up her neck and stopped at her ear but he’d already left goose bumps from her scalp to her soles. “Are you warm enough?” he asked, slipping her blouse off her shoulder.
“Maybe a little cold,” she admitted until he pulled her sleeve back up. “There was a ‘but’ you didn’t let me get to.” Hazel twisted her neck until she looked up at his long brown bangs falling into his face. He watched her like he was in love.
“I’m sorry, what was the ‘but’?” He kissed the inch or two of skin behind her ear and along her hairline. It felt amazing.
The best part about Ben spooning up behind her was the way his long body shielded her from everything, but she worried about him. Before she answered, was he okay being this intimate with her out here?
“Ben, can I ask you something?”
“Of course. Shoot.”
“Is this, what’s between us, is it happening too fast? I know I’m the one who put us in this mess on night one with that god awful lie. It must have been hard for you to know how to approach me or what to do with me ever since.”
“Hazel, can I tell you something that I think might answer that?”
She nodded.
“There was a point when all I could remember about your name was that it started with an H. Until Manny called you Hazel the night you two saw me in the parking lot, I had been thinking of you as Haven. Wanna know why?”
She nodded her head yes. And tried not to well up at his tender admission.
Ben reached his arm around from behind, wrapping it around her with amazing strength and caution all at the same time. His forearm rested at the undersides of her breasts, nudging them up when he hugged her body closer to his. Part of her surprise making up gift was that she’d gone braless for Ben. She watched her creamy skin rise and become two mounds of cleavage, thinking for the first time in a long time that she looked pretty, knowing it was Ben’s doing. He laid his hand carefully just under her right breast but her chest was so heavy from wanting to share and be close to him that when she breathed out she practically sank down onto him.
And when she slid her back into his torso, she felt for where his hips should be, except they weren’t hugged to her bum because he was holding that part of him back.
“Ben,” she said, about to plead for that connection.
He’d been propping his head up with his right hand on his bent elbow but without any warning, he brought that hand around her ribcage as well and held her so close and tight. She felt his body shift slightly when his head laid down sideways on the mat without suppo
rt. Even if she’d wanted to escape, she wouldn’t have been able to. Happily, she was his prisoner. But only from the waist up.
“Is this okay?” he asked her.
She reached back, wiggling her arm until he still held her in his captivating hug but she could stretch her hand and feel for him. There was no mistaking when her fingers came in contact with the head of his erect penis.
He sucked in air and she held back erotic thoughts of sucking pleasure from him all night long. “I think this is more than okay, don’t you?” she asked, glad to feel more and more like she was fitting back into the right skin.
“Yes,” he got out, barely. “Haven.”
Ah, he still wanted her to know why he’d thought of her that way when she’d turned his life upside down.
Hazel made sure only to softly stroke him, although it was difficult because she was reaching behind herself and therefore could not see. She felt Ben push his hips slightly forward, nudging her hand with his dripping, warm tip. It made her feel so wanted. It had been so long since she’d felt that way. But she made sure not to grab for him and only touched softly.
“Tell me, please,” she said, a new anxiety creeping into her thoughts. Would it hurt Ben to make love with her? Because of where he’d been burned?
He whispered through her hair into her ear, “On that night you think you screwed up so badly, you were the one person I didn’t feel like I’d let down. Whether it was real or not, your note kept me from going to a very lonely place. You were the only one who saw me as a man.”
“Babe, you are all man,” Hazel said as a cover-up to the sloppy, tearful kiss she wanted to plant on his hand holding her so close. “Ben, I have a question.”
“I’m all ears,” he said except for he was more like all hands. He’d become more venturesome, branching out from the undersides of her breasts to her neck with one and her tummy with the other, while still maintaining the distance where she craved him most.
“Will it hurt you here?” She paused and gently led her hand down his shaft, to his hairs and up his hip. She didn’t want to cause him pain anywhere and wasn’t sure which parts could still be sensitive. “If we make love, I mean.”
Ben’s arms shifted, taking a handful of her hair and twisting it out of the way. His lips, moist and cool, landed solidly on the side of her neck. “It’s not a question of if,” he said.
The confidence in his voice flooded her and caused her clitoris to throb. “I have something you need to take care of,” she said.
Next he pulled up on the hem of her loose blouse until it was over her head. He tossed it to the corner with his wine colored pile of clothes. She shivered, noticing her nipples pucker when his warm, softly haired forearm brushed against them. More cool kisses snuck heady breaths from her each time they landed at her neck. And then the kisses became warm with his tongue as he tasted her.
“I want to take care of you, Hazel.”
Then he ran his hand over her hip until he’d hooked his thumb under the elastic waist band of her pants and began to tug. She helped him with this part until they kicked them to the corner together.
She began to roll so she could face her Ben, her Mr. Eyes. He stopped her with a mostly steady hand to her hip and then decidedly pulled her back to his chest so he could continue tasting and teasing her neck. This time she felt his hardness poke just below her bum as he moved his hips until they were flush with her backside. Kissing or being inside her. “I think you’re going to have to choose one or the other, hun. You’re so much taller than me.”
****
Ben could barely think with words, let alone sentences that would make sense, but Hazel had asked several questions in the past few minutes. How did he tell her he’d waited years for the right woman, so no, this wasn’t happening too fast on his end. And that his scar tissue was more a source of his embarrassment than pain anymore. He’d deal with the odd numb sensations. Or that the twelve inches he had on her wasn’t going to be a problem. He was usually pretty good with words. Right now, not so much.
“All I can think about right now is your body, Hazel.” And the position he’d found when he Googled How to please your much shorter partner. That image hadn’t left him since the night when she’d told him her answer to camping wasn’t a no and it was why he’d been so into spooning with her now. She moved her head back so it rested on his right bicep. “You’re perfect, everywhere.”
Keeping his arm crooked so she could still use him as a pillow, totally sexy, he angled his hand down, finding her beautiful, full breast. He held it firmly, exhilarated at how his touch seemed to make her nipples even harder.
“Ben,” she let out softly and kissed his bicep as she tormented him with little bumps of her butt to his stomach. When he slid his left hand down the middle of her ribs to her belly button and then up and over her thigh and hip, he knew this would work. Her wiggling had him so hard.
It was time for him to get the protection before he lost his mind completely. “Just a second, don’t go anywhere.” Okay, not his best line but he was working on it. Ben reached behind him and pulled a wrapped condom out from under his doubled up sleeping mats. Buying the second one for her had been a great idea. He bit his lip in anticipation and scooted back up behind her. “Hazel, I want you to know this is important to me, I’d never ever do anything that could leave you in a bad situation. I promise.”
His plan to keep her in that spooning position until he was inside her was thrown out the tent when she sat herself up and faced him. A tear ran down her face but it landed where she had the most genuine smile he’d ever seen. “I know.”
She wiped it away on her own while he now clumsily held the condom in his hands. Whoa, in that instant, he knew it like he knew site maps and burger joints and past pain. He was in love with Hazel and it would kill him to ever lose her.
“Here, I’d like to do this part,” she said.
He nodded and fumbled around while he decided if he should stay sitting up with her or lie down. His cock stared up at him like he was an idiot not to know. But Hazel didn’t seem to notice and as he sat there with his legs bent and lazily falling apart, she used her teeth to open the wrapper, pull the condom out and then fit it over top of him. Hazel broke eye contact with her task for a moment and stared him in the eyes. “Does this hurt?” she asked.
“No,” he choked out.
Smoothly and with a grin, she gently rolled it down until she ran out of condom. He felt her pulling down on the sides to get it to the base of him when her smile took over her entire face. The best part, his cinnamon-haired flirt blushed for the first time. “I’m also on the pill, just in case.” She giggled. “And um, I think we’re going to need to get you bigger ones next time, hun.”
Thrilled. Stoked. Fricking out of his mind, deliriously hot is what he felt at that.
Amped up by his new found confidence, Ben wrapped a loose curl around his pointer finger. “Come here,” he told her.
That spooning position he’d looked up was going to have to wait for round two. Ben wanted Hazel on his lap with him inside her and her beautiful blue eyes looking into his.
She managed to make it that much sexier when she asked, “Like this? Right here?” She then let him hold her up by her hips while she rubbed her warm, slick opening over his head, teasing him mercilessly and then slid down on top of him.
“Did that hurt?”
He wasn’t sure why she was asking that.
“No, why?” he got out after a burst of intense pleasure drove his feelings for her through the roof. Being inside Hazel felt like a warm bath on a cold night. So warm and wet and snug.
“I just wanted to be sure. I thought you winced,” she said as she pressed her breasts into his chest and ran her hands down his sides, making him shiver. He felt his balls tighten. He wouldn’t come before her, no matter what, but she was testing his very untested limits.
Explaining that being inside her was the equivalent of winning the gold medal at the most in
sane extreme sports event and was most likely what she’d seen on his face would require words again.
“I’m fine, baby.” And to show her, Ben guided Hazel’s legs until they hugged each side of his waist. Then he rocked back a little on his ass until he found the position he needed. “Lean into me,” he told her. With the fingers of his left hand digging into the sexy flesh of her hip, he held her head to his with his right and then probed her mouth open with his tongue until he felt her posture melt into him like he’d asked. As soon as she was relaxed, he brought his right hand to her other hip and using every ounce of who he was as a man, thrust into her.
“Oh Ben!” she cried out so loudly he felt like she was his biggest and only fan.
“I’ve got you, baby,” he said, thrusting while kissing her full lips, holding her hips and guiding her up and down. She had great curves and he loved watching them moving for him. Her breasts especially. Ben would trade the known universe to be able to take them into his mouth right now. But being somewhat hunched so that he could kiss her lips had already begun to agitate that burning feeling in his back. If he bent anymore, he could seriously get hurt. His ego dared him to complain but he had to do something so that he didn’t end up doubled over and embarrassed. Worse than that, no way did he want to leave Hazel unsatisfied. Just a few more thrusts…just a few more.
He hoped he’d read her correctly. That she was free-spirited, sensual and wouldn’t take offense at how he planned to take her next. Ben continued to work her body into his, watching the tiny drops of sweat beading up between her breasts. When he saw her mouth pop open into a sexy “Oh” and then her head roll back, he nearly exploded six years’ worth of pent up juices inside her.
“Oh Ben,” she cried out.
“Yes baby.”
“Don’t stop.”
“I won’t.”
The old Ben might have. But this new him was not about to let a little back pain ruin their night. Busy thrusting and enjoying his own moment of being close to ecstasy, Ben let his eyes close just for a second. If he thought about each hot, tender squeeze to his cock as her body began to spasm around him, he would be invincible.
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