The others went inside but I stayed out and looked at my new car. My new old car. So was my life. My fake, real, and completely out of control life.
Thinking about it gave me indigestion. Help me Gods. Help me get through this alive and I will never doubt in you again. Thanks.
127
Carter Tachikawa
Chapter 17
That night, I went to sleep by myself while the others went home. It took a lot of explaining on my behalf as to why Rachel wasn't sleeping with me. I told them that Rachel wanted to stay a virgin until the wedding night even though it was the world's biggest lie. Yet they accepted it as the truth and let me go about my business. I gave Rachel a quick goodnight kiss while they were watching and told her that I would see her tomorrow morning. She was good at faking romance right back. By the time I got in the house, I got all kinds of approval. Life was fabulous and only getting better.
But where was I going to go from there? Did this mean we would actually have a relationship? I liked Rachel enough to want a relationship. I just needed to know that she felt the same way for me. Thinking about her made me think of Aurora and Dylan. I knew their whole story now and I still found it incredible. Aurora went from mourning her old boyfriend's death and falling for the guy that was different. A guy that, underneath the leather, was actually a decent human being. He just broke legs for a living. I had to admit the lovebirds were cute and not scary; at least Dylan had no interest in Aurora's Limca, Thumbs Up, Mirinda, Maaza, or other Indian soda. He wasn't texting her weird things and comparing her to everything in the world. He trusted her. He loved her. All I wanted was someone who felt the same way for me.
The question remained whether or not Rachel was that person. My parents approved so far , and she was doing well with the rest of the family. She did have a name beginning with R. Even though she understood nothing from my grandparents' lips, she was still polite enough to nod and laugh at everything. I only had to step in a few times and remind her that they were asking questions, not telling jokes. And I had to translate the 'have you ever committed a crime and been to jail' question before she nodded and laughed it off. All in all, we had a good time and I got to kiss Rachel in front of them. We were trying to pretend but it became too hard. We ended up kissing though not like Dylan and Aurora who were practically devouring each other. I didn't even know a human mouth could open as wide as Dylan's did when it came into contact with Aurora's lips. It was fascinating, cute, and gross all at once. Thankfully, everyone seemed to let them be lost in their 'kisses like eating ribs' moment and paid attention to us instead.
Rachel was here by eight while everyone else was asleep. She threw her arms around me and gave me a quick peck on the lips. “Hey there, lover.”
“Hey yourself. You came at a great time. We're going to have tea, rotis, and jelabis this morning.” I said. “You didn't bring the face eaters, did you?”
“They fell asleep in each other's arms on the couch. It was so cute.”
“Just for the record, he didn't really eat her face, did he?”
She laughed it off. “God, Anwar, no way! Dylan's a little on the rough side but he's not a monster. If I can leave my sister alone with him for a night, then things will be fine. He makes her happy. Just like Cal used to.” Her smile faded at the mention of Aurora's old boyfriend. “Trust me. It's been a long time since I saw her smile or love anyone. Hell, it's been a while since I've loved anyone. We've been so bummed since Cal died.”
I felt something inside me growing deeper, like something was drilling a hole in me. Yes, I had never met Aurora's old boyfriend but I still felt bad when I heard his name. The poor guy ended up dead by being buried alive. How fair was that? First he got shot, then he got put in a coffin while he was still breathing. If the bullet didn't kill him, suffocating in that damn box did. Yet , it could have been worse. He could have ended up being cremated alive.
“There you are!” My mother exclaimed, handing me a bowl filled with dough balls. “Be a darling and help make rotis.”
“Can't Rachel do it?” I asked.
“Is she qualified?”
Qualified? What the hell was this, a job interview? Rachel just shrugged it off. “Well, I don't know if I'm qualified but I can definitely try.”
“I'll help her, Ma.” I promised. “I'll make sure that she rolls the rotis out properly before I give them to you to make.”
“Good.” She shuffled off to take care of tea for the relatives while Rachel and I sat down at the table. I took one of the dough balls out and showed it to her.
“This will become a roti.” I explained, going over to the counter and taking the bag of flour with me. “You need the rolling pin to roll it out and make it flat.”
“I figured just as much.” She nodded. “You're so cute when you're so obvious. All right. Show me how to make them. I don't want to mess these up.”
I helped roll out the dough, adding bits of flour to each side. She watched me as I rolled out a decent sized roti. “Okay, you've got to be careful that you don't tear holes in these rotis. Otherwise...well, you have something that resembles a really flat donut.”
“No flat donuts. Got it.” She leaned over and put a dab of flour on my nose. “Is that acceptable?”
I didn't know to react so I dabbed some flour on my fingers and put it on her cheek. “I don't know. But that might be.”
“Oh, you wanna play rough, don't you?” She dabbed more of it on my cheeks. “Oooh, you're getting some stubble there, Mister! You might want to shave before the 'wedding night'.”
“Yeah, and you need some make up.” I tossed a lot more flour in her face. “You look as pale as the snow, my dear.”
“Well, you don't! Let's remedy that!” She tossed flour back at me. “Oh man, now you look like the Pillsbury dough boy!”
“I am so not the Pillsbury dough boy!”
She poked me in the gut and I did the Pillsbury dough boy giggle. “I beg to differ.”
“Never do that again! My stomach's sensitive! It can't hold Limca in. I always end up getting diarrhea as a result! You ever get diarrhea from Limca? It sucks!”
“Not but thanks for the warning.” She looked grim before tossing more flour in my hair. That began the rest of our flour fight as we tossed it all across the room. I laughed as some of it hit Rachel's shirt and she giggled as she tossed it in the air. “Wow, tough guy! I didn't think you knew how to have a food fight!”
“Technically, it's not a food fight! It's a flour fight!”
“Okay, a flour fight! And you're losing!”
“Guess again, Snow White!” Now a bowl of flour was headed in her direction and the remains of the bag was on my head. “Hey, I just shampooed!”
“You can shampoo again!”
“And so can you!”
I caught her off guard and we stared at each other. There we were, two idiots that were pretending to be in love. Although , I didn't know if it was pretending on my part anymore. It felt too damn real. It had to be real. She was holding my hand, waiting for my next move.
“Well?” She asked.
“Well, what do we do?”
“Whatever you want to do.”
“Terrible answer.” I moved in closer to her face. “Is this what lovers do?”
“Maybe. Are you claiming to be my lover?”
“I...I...” I was at a loss of words. But it didn't matter because her lips were against and I wanted them to be there.
We found ourselves kissing and this time, I was using tongue. Not because I wanted to pretend but I felt like it. I wanted to kiss her this way. I wanted to be married to her and make her rotis and have babies and teach her everything I knew. But was it too fast? I had only met her weeks ago yet I was falling for her. I had butterflies inside me, batting their wings against my stomach. That tiny voice in my head was telling me to take the leap, take a plunge, dive in and dip her and kiss her and have sex on the kitchen. Nothing could keep my feelings hidden anymore. Nothing woul
d be able to stop me.
"Eh Ma! What is this mess?!"
Except for that.
Rachel pulled away and realized that our rotis were...well, still balls and the flour was wasted on us. My mother gaped at us and the floury mess we had left in the kitchen. I stepped away from her sheepish and felt the butterflies in me dying. So much for taking the plunge and having sex on the kitchen floor.
"Sorry, Amma. We got a little carried away." I explained. "We were making rotis but..."
"No, no, I do not want to hear this." My mother held up her hand. "Just clean this up. Everyone is awake and I have no roti for them."
"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Sharma. I'll help clean up." Rachel said. "Don't blame it all on him. I kinda started it and he just became a casualty of the flour war."
"I do not care who started it. Just please clean it and make it look presentable." With that, she left in a huff.
I stared down at the flour on the floor. "So, uh, you want the floor or the table?"
"Give me the table, you take the floor." She suggested. I handed her some of the paper towels and we went to work on the kitchen. I knew my mother would not enter this room until it was spotless and perfect. She would keep everyone in the living room until she examined the kitchen and deemed it safe for others to enter.
“I'm sorry about getting you in trouble.” Rachel apologized, wiping up flour and dumping it in the trash. “I didn't think we'd get carried away.”
“Don't worry about it. Besides, it was worth it. We had fun.”
“We did but your mom is pissed now. We ruined breakfast.”
“She'll live. Everyone will live.” I stood up. “Now if you're through with the table, do you mind giving me a hand with the floor? I swear this will take forever if I do it by myself.”
“You know I've been thinking.” She started as she joined me on the floor.
“Thinking about what? Life? Death? Where we're going? What's in store for everyone? Stuff that's on the commercials?” I handed her the paper towels.
“No, I'm thinking about us.” She said, getting on her knees and scrubbing the floor. “You've loosened up a lot since I first met you. I'll admit I had doubts about pretending to date you but you're pretty cool. You do seem like my type now. At least the type I'd want to be seen with and talk to and actually be friends with.”
“Is that all you want? To be friends?” I asked, stopping my scrubbing and looking at her. She was cute in all that flour covering her face. Like a wannabe mime. Only she wasn't silent and she wasn't miming with her hands but her eyes. Her eyes were telling more than her mouth was.
“It would be a nice place to start when all this is over.” She said.
“I guess so.” I went back to cleaning. Now. Now seemed like the right time to tell her just what I felt now. “Um, Rachel? You know this isn't easy for me. I've never had a real relationship, let alone a fake one. All this is very new to me.”
“I figured. You're so cute when you're nervous.”
“Yeah, very cute.” I somehow missed what she was trying to get at with that. A fly was now buzzing around the place and I began swatting away at it. Damn thing probably got in when someone opened the front door. It was flying around so fast that I almost toppled onto the floor from trying to get it. “Damn little bastard! Where did you come from?”
“Leave it alone. It's just a fly.”
“It's a nuisance.” I grumbled. It zipped past my nose and I found myself knocked onto my ass while trying to kill it. I groaned and rubbed my tail bone. The pain had shot up all the way into my body and made me ache. “Why me?!”
“That's what you get for trying to kill the poor thing.” She helped me sit up again. “Are you okay? You didn't break anything, did you?”
“I should hope not. You don't want a groom with broken bones, do you?”
“I don't know. We could play doctor and nurse in the bedroom if that happens.”
Ooh, this was getting good. “Do you know anything about being a doctor or nurse?”
“No, I'd be willing to learn.” She was now inches from my face and I could feel her breathing on me. Her lips were almost touching mine and I could feel the surface of her mouth without feeling it. “What do you say? After the mess, we go upstairs and I'll examine you?”
“You'll check out my ass?”
“And you check out everything of mine.” Her thumb brushed against my cheek. “You missed a spot on your face, sugar lips.”
“You missed the one on your nose, pumpkin.” I replied.
“And you missed the one above your eyebrow.”
“You're so evil.”
“And you're so lame but that's why I like you.”
We quickly cleaned ourselves up in the sink and just stared at each other when we were done. It felt awkward yet right at the same time. I had a bead of water rolling down my forehead, which Rachel moped up with a paper towel. We didn't know what to do after that. We were staring , yet we weren't saying anything. I tried to open my mouth but it was stuck. I didn't know what to tell her. If I loved her, this wasn't the right moment to bring it out.
“So?” She began, saving me the trouble of starting conversation. “What's next?”
“Want to watch another movie?” I asked.
“Calendar ripping? I’m all for it.” She said, standing back up. “Clock dying is also acceptable as well. Hell, as long an inanimate object dies, I'm cool.”
“I was thinking less extreme. How about a straight out romance? No fighting on a golf course, no kicking down concrete, just being in love.”
“Sounds romantic.”
“I know. That was the point.” I kissed her on the nose. “Pretend kiss for the hell of it.”
“I love your pretend kisses. They feel so..so…”
“Soft? Warm?”
“Real.” She finally said.
“Real.”
“Yeah, it’s like you mean it when you kiss me.” She stroked my arms. “It doesn't feel fake. Its It’s like you really care for me.”
“I do care for you.”
“You know what I mean.” She began playing around with my shirt. “You're very good at this, Anwar. I thought you would have no clue how to kiss but you do. You know how to treat a lady very well. Even if she's not your lady.”
Though I wish she was. I felt like replying. Out loud, I asked. “Just out of curiosity, where would you go for romance advice? You know, I can fake this stuff in front of everyone.”
She blinked. “I usually turn to Rory for that stuff. She's had longer relationships than I've had. She and Cal were together until he died and it looks like she'll be with Dylan for the rest of her life. I have never seen these two explode at each other in a year.”
“They're that much in love?”
“Either that or they are crazy. Though I wouldn't rule the other option out.”
“Would they be at your place right now?”
“Maybe. You can go and check up on them for me. It'll save me the trip.”
“And...what will you be doing here?”
“Making breakfast.” She said. “I got the hang of making a few things. Besides, I can't have you supervising me all the time. I should be able to do this on my own. If you want to ask Rory and Dylan about how to fake romance and chemistry, than do so. I promise not to burn the house down.”
“Thanks.” I said. “And I better not see fire trucks in my driveway when I come back.”
“Oh hush! You know I won't harm anyone intentionally.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yes! Now go!”
I blew her a kiss. “Thanks , honey.”
“Bite me, babe.” She stuck her tongue out. “Seriously, get lost. Things will be fine here.”
“You're the boss.” I said. But my heart was pounding. I wanted to go to another level with her. Lots of sex was great but I wanted meaningful sex. I wanted something deeper than what we had. The fake fiancee fiancée hoopla was getting old now. I had to talk to someone
again. More specifically, I needed to talk to those two.
“Hey, Rach?” I called into the kitchen. “I'm gonna step out a bit and see your sister and her boyfriend now. I hope you don't mind.”
“Go ahead. I'll be waiting for you.”
“Thanks!” With that, I grabbed my coat and the keys to my father's car. I wasn't ready to hit the hippie one yet. I needed help and I knew where I had to get it from.
Hopefully, they would stop kissing each other long enough to see me through.
127
Carter Tachikawa
Chapter 18
I could not believe that I needed Dylan and Aurora's help with this. All the people in the world and I was turning to them. These were the people who I had caught making out on a rug. They were the ones who used Rachel's shower at midnight. They were the ones who suckered me into watching the video of Aurora's first boyfriend peeing on a stage. Yet they were also the ones I was turning to for romance advice. This was what my life led to.
I rang the door bell and an old black man answered it. “May I help you?”
“Is Dylan around?”
“It depends. What do you want with my son?”
I blinked and then remembered that Rachel had told me Dylan had been adopted by John who was black. “Oh, you must be John! I'm Anwar, Rachel's friend. I don't know if she told you anything about me but...”
“You're the man that's pretending to marry her?” He asked.
I nodded. “Wow. Either you're a psychic or she told you.”
“Believe me, if I was psychic, I could have stopped a lot of things from happening. Come on i n t .” He let me in and I took off my shoes. “Oh, you don't have to take them off.”
“I know but it's a habit. I do it in practically every house since my mother said that houses were like temples and you still have to take your shoes off in temples so I kind of...”
“I understand.” He cut me off again. I took this as my cue to shut up. “Keep your shoes off if it makes you comfortable then. Dylan's with Aurora though so I have to see if he's willing to see you.”
A Promise to Keep Page 15