by Ferro Gabro
All the questions about Julia's past made me think about my own. I was aware of the fact that I had created a new reality for myself on the day I ordered Julia. I wanted my new life to differ completely from the old one. I realized that, although it wasn’t even a whole day yet, changes had already started taking place within me. I was ready for a complete transformation, for a truly new lifestyle with replica Julia.
I was prepared to start again. However, I wasn’t yet able to admit that my life with the other Julia had been finally and undoubtedly concluded. Our interaction with each other had come to an end, but the last sentence of that chapter of my life still lacked a few important words and a full stop to round it off. Currently that sentence was incomplete. Our story had no end, it was a joke without a punch line.
I had two choices. I could make peace with my unfinished past, really let it go and no longer allow it to bother me. Or, even without forgetting about it, I could simply distance myself from that old life, suppress it, even deny parts of it and upload new, self-created memories as substitutes.
To permanently push the remnants of my life with the real Julia over the edge of the well of forgetfulness would not be easily achieved. I wanted to do it, wished I was able to. How satisfying it would have been to take that relationship, all the wasted time and shredded emotions, wrap it in a bag and send it as a present to the demons of the underworld.
I looked over my shoulder at the new Julia. She was busy massaging my back. I was fully satisfied with her personality, but I had to decide soon if I wanted to change her physical appearance. Models Unlimited had assured me that the face of their models was the easiest thing to replace. If the new Julia looked differently and had another name she might have been better at replacing the human Julia.
I again had doubts about my decision to order her as an exact replica of Julia. If she looked differently it would be so much easier to forget. She would have distracted my attention from that unfinished past more successfully. The last sentence of that book called 'Julia' could then be written. I could put a period at the end of it, close the book and store it away somewhere in a dusty, forgotten attic of memory. Only then could I start writing the new book with replica Julia as main female character.
I wanted to lock the past away in a place where it belonged - somewhere far behind me in a bunker on a lost road. I believed it could be done. My present was already becoming so removed from my past that I sometimes wondered if it was really me who had lived that other life. While I laid there, completely relaxed, I decided to keep the new Julia exactly the way she was for another month. After that time I would decide if I wanted to change Julia's face and name and in doing so bring an end to Julia's influence in my life.
Later that day, after recharging Julia's batteries, we went to the movies. She enjoyed the show thoroughly, like a child that watched a movie screen for the first time. She laughed at the right moments, even cried softly during the sad scenes. After the movie we discussed it fervently and in length. Julia had understood it and even noticed a few details that I hadn’t seen.
From the movies we went to a nearby pub. I usually avoided the place, but that afternoon I wanted to go there. I chose it because I knew the other Julia still went there frequently. Thanks to her predictability I was not disappointed. We barely had time to order our first drink when she walked in.
She didn’t notice us immediately. I pretended not to see her, only to be lost in conversation with replica Julia. But my heart couldn’t deny the real Julia. The knife she had stuck into it that day when she left was turned a few times. I instinctively grabbed my chest. I took a few big sips of whiskey and calmed down.
It was just in time. I looked up. Julia stood there next to me, within arm's reach. We greeted each other. She said a few insignificant things. Replica Julia stared out of the window while I spoke to Julia. While our conversation came to a quick end she turned to face Julia. Julia tried to hide her surprise and shock, but didn’t succeed. With a weak voice she asked me to introduce her to my new girlfriend.
'Julia, meet Julia.'
The real Julia nearly froze when she saw such a perfect replica of herself from so close.
'I've heard about you,' replica Julia said.
'What's that supposed to mean?'
'Just that, nothing else.'
'I'm sure he only told you his side of the story,' she said and looked angrily at me.
'Not at all. He didn’t tell me any story. He only mentioned that the name of his previous girlfriend was also Julia and that she looked a lot like me.'
'Is that it? I don’t believe you.'
'What don’t you believe?'
'Anything he says. Or anything you say about him.'
'I believe everything he says. He's not like other men. He's only been honest with me.'
'How long have you known him?'
Luckily I had told replica Julia that I had broken up with Julia six months before.
'Five months,' she lied. 'That's what we are celebrating here today.'
She made lying look so easy, as if it was a bigger truth than reality.
'It didn’t take you long to forget about me,' Julia said accusingly to me.
'How could I remember you when your replacement is so much nicer than you?' I said, remembering our constant fighting.
'What do you mean with that?' she said in a loud voice.
'Calm down. I fought enough with you when we were still together. I'm not in the mood for that shit today. I have much better things to do with my time.'
'You've always been selfish. You'll never change. I'm so glad you're no longer part of my life.'
'You're not the only one who is happy that someone has left.'
'All this bravado. I hate it so much when you're like this. If I were a man I would have taken you outside for a fistfight.'
'Why don’t you invite me? I'll go in his place,' replica Julia said. 'Will that be more fair?'
'You? I'll destroy you.'
'You probably will. Anyway, I wouldn't really lower myself to your level.'
'My level? What are you insinuating you bitch?' Julia screamed.
Julia's new boyfriend saw what was happening. He arrived at our table just in time to prevent her from slapping replica Julia's face. He struggled to bring her under control. The new Julia just started laughing.
'Chill out Julia. All this aggression is not good for your wrinkles. I realize now that although you look like me you seem much older, not well looked after.'
'What the hell are you saying?' She was furious. Her boyfriend had to hold her wrists firmly.
'Your anger makes you look much older than you are. It's obvious that you're hiding behind a mask. I suppose you probably work harder than me. Isn’t this man of yours looking after you?'
'I don’t need a man to protect me. As for my age...'
'Calm down,' replica Julia interrupted. 'I also don’t have time to argue with someone who doesn’t want to listen. Before I excuse you I just want to give you some advice. Remember that you create your own destiny in life. Look again at what you have chosen.'
'You're really looking for something you won’t be able to handle.'
'Be quiet, I haven’t finished talking. All I'm trying to do is to thank you for having such a positive influence on my destiny. I'm so glad you left this man for me. He's so wonderful. Don’t you miss him?'
'No. I've forgotten about him completely. He's no longer important to me.'
'After today you'll think about him again. Sometimes it's good to be reminded of your past. Especially about the mistakes you have made.'
The tears in Julia's eyes nearly made me pity her. That feeling vanished when I remembered all the suffering I had endured because of her. When I remembered that, I started enjoying the situation. It was a small revenge.
The previous day I had really only mentioned a few details about my relationship with Julia. Replica Julia stored that information somewhere in her memory banks. Her computer brai
n didn’t forget. What impressed me was that she remembered what I had said about Julia's obsession with her physical appearance. She knew it was a sensitive issue and attacked her there. I watched her as she fled from our table in tears. Her new boyfriend mumbled something over his shoulder. I don’t know if it was a threat, but I didn’t feel too threatened.
I was unable to stop myself from laughing. For months I had been looking forward to seeing Julia again. I also dreaded it, expected to be dumbfounded when I saw her. The incident that had just taken place was not only unexpected it was also a victory for me. Even if I were given the opportunity to design the scene I would not have been able to do it so perfectly. It made me feel better, provided me with a form of closure. Maybe I was finally ready to forget about Julia and carry on with my life.
'I'm impressed,' I said.
'Really?'
'Yes.'
'It was easy. I lied and she fell for it. Actually I feel nothing for her, not even anger.'
At the beginning of the following week I decided to introduce Julia to my work colleagues. I wanted to study the interaction between real people and a mechanical woman. I invited everybody in my department for a barbecue the next Saturday. When I told Julia about it she was just as excited as a real woman.
'I'm so glad I'm going to meet your friends. How many did you invite?'
'Thirty, but not everybody has confirmed.'
'Will you tell me as soon as you know? I want to start making preparations. I need to know what they drink and what their favorite foods are.'
'For drinks, beer, wine and whiskey will be sufficient. I'll go and buy that at Ultra Liquors. The side dishes can be simple. A few salads, fresh bread and butter and that potato dish with the melted cheese and bacon.'
'What about dessert?'
'Make anything. Surprise us.'
Saturday arrived. At one in the afternoon the first guests rang the doorbell. We greeted each other and spoke loudly together. When they saw Julia they fell quiet. It was as if they were looking at a dead person. Everybody at work knew that I had broken up with Julia months before. They were aware that we no longer saw each other. Yet, there she stood. My female colleagues looked very surprised and confused. They tried to hide it with a smile but didn’t succeed. I took Julia by the hand and introduced her to the new arrivals. She easily remembered everybody's names.
'How strange. You look just like...'
'The evil ex. I know. I met her the other day. She also found it difficult to believe that we look so much alike. And when she heard my name is also Julia she seemed a bit shocked.'
'You can’t blame her. The similarities are remarkable. Where did you two meet?'
'At church,' Julia said immediately.
I moved outside to start the fire. While I was busy barbecuing I also had to answer numerous questions asked by my male colleagues. They were all very interested to learn more about the new Julia.
'Did you really meet her at church?'
'Yes.'
'She looks just like the other Julia, just younger and prettier. Where is she from?'
'From around here.'
'Is she better in bed than the other Julia?'
'Sure. Even if she tried she couldn’t have been worse than her.'
Many other questions followed. I tried to answer as honestly as possible, but my colleagues were not always satisfied with the answers.
'You're very secretive about this new Julia of yours. I wonder if she's real,' Mark said.
'It depends on how you see reality. But there she is. You can go and touch her hand or listen to her heart beat and decide for yourself if she's real.'
'No, I'll take your word for it. She's just so much more pleasant than the previous Julia that it's difficult to believe that she's a real woman. You're a lucky man.'
'Don’t you find it weird that she looks just like your ex.'
'Not really. You all know that I always liked Julia's looks. It was only her personality that I sometimes had a problem with. As you might remember, there was quite a bit of friction between us.'
'What about this Julia? Have you ever fought with her?'
'No, not once. I also don’t think we ever will. She's very different from the other Julia. It's as if they're from two different worlds.'
'Maybe this one is an alien.'
'Anything is possible,' I said and wondered if these men would have believed me if I told them she was a mechanical device powered by artificial intelligence. Most of them wouldn’t have believed me. I anyway didn’t want them to have access to my new world of illusions. I created it as substitute of the life I led before. I had no problem to share some parts of it with them, but I was unwilling to reveal the secret functioning of that world.
'Doesn’t she have a sister or a cousin?' one of my single colleagues asked.
'No sisters as far as I know. I'm sure she must have some cousins. We haven’t really spoken about that.'
The barbecue came to an end without any incidents. Nobody suspected that Julia wasn’t a real woman. And even if they did they wouldn’t have questioned it. Those kind of questions didn’t form part of their frame of reference. To them reality was that which could be observed. What hid under the skin was irrelevant.
My life with Julia became more pleasant as time passed. I enjoyed spending time with her so much that I rarely went out with my friends. If it wasn’t for her I would never have gone to the pub after work to have a few drinks with them. Often she urged me to go.
The meals she prepared were still as delicious as the one she made on the first evening. She was able to make food from any country. She loved receiving recipe books as a present. I was always treated to the most complicated meal in the book the following day.
The constant and unpredictable sex satisfied me more each day. Every time we made love she enjoyed it so much that it was easy to imagine that it was her first time. She enjoyed it as much as I did, without any reservations or feelings of guilt. There were never any excuses like tiredness or headaches. She even gave me the book about the hundred and one most popular sexual positions. I knew it was just a question of time until we would have tried all of them.
The first month with replica Julia flashed by. I quickly became used to switching her off occasionally for a battery charge. Sometimes I switched her off during the day while I was at work. But I usually left her on. I loved being greeted at the door by a friendly woman after a stressful day at work.
At the end of the first month I had to take Julia back to Models Unlimited for a routine service. She would be kept at their workshop for two days for a series of tests and her monthly technical examination. The time away from her would allow me to decide if I wanted to keep her in my life as Julia or change her face and name and receive her back as someone else.
I dropped her off at Models Unlimited myself.
'What is this place?' she asked when we stopped outside it.
'A clothing shop.'
We entered and headed directly to the clothing department. Before our arrival Chloe arranged with me to switch Julia off in one of the fitting rooms. After her service she would be returned there and switched on again. I entered the fitting room with Julia.
'Can I help you to try this on?' I said and held a bra up for her to see.
'That sounds like fun.'
'Turn around and bend your head forward.'
Suddenly I was scared to switch her off. Would she be the same after the service? I kissed her. I was overwhelmed by an inexplicable sadness. It's only for two days, I said softly to myself. Nothing can go wrong. I switched her off and informed Chloe. Two technicians arrived and took Julia away. Chloe requested me to return after two days. I would switch Julia on in exactly the same fitting room.
Two days later I stood with Julia in my arms. Her service was completed and all the test results showed that she functioned optimally. She kissed me and slowly started undressing.
'Will you help me to try on this new bra and panties? If it
fits I'll keep it on and take it off for you at home.'
I was unable to keep my eyes off her body while she unbuttoned her blouse.
'Help me with this bra.'
I loosened the bra where I stood behind her. Julia bent slightly forward and it dropped to the floor. She turned around again and faced me. She took both my hands and put them on her breasts.
'I love your fingers on my nipples. Now help me to try this new bra on.'
I was glad that I had her back. I was happy that she was going home with me. During the two days of her absence I decided that I wanted to keep her as Julia. Just for a little while longer. I liked to look at her familiar face and imagine that she was still really there with me.
In the car on the way back home Julia was very quiet. Usually she was talkative, but that day she had nothing to say. I repeatedly tried to start a conversation but didn’t get any response from her. I immediately wondered if something didn’t go wrong during the service after all. She was never so disinterested before.
It was possible that the technician made a mistake while he worked on the settings of her speech controller. Or the wrong speech software was installed into her hard drive. Chloe once mentioned that some men preferred their women quiet. Was it possible that her talkative speech chip was swapped with another one? I decided to keep a close eye on Julia. If she didn’t behave the same way as before the service I would return her to Models Unlimited. They simply had to correct their mistakes.
'It's time to help you out of that bra and those panties,' I said shortly after arriving home.
'I want to go and lie down for a while first. I'm not feeling so well.'
'Can I get you something to drink? Maybe that will make you feel better.'
'Just a glass of water. And two headache tablets.'