by Oscar Wilde
‘Psha!’ said Sweeney Todd, ‘who will question you, who are well known to be in the trade, and to be continually dealing in such things?’
‘That’s all very fine; but I don’t see why I should give you the full value of an article without evidence as to how you came by it.’
‘In other words, you mean, you don’t care how I came by them, provided I sell them to you at a thief’s price, but if I want their value you mean to be particular.’
‘My good sir, you may conclude what you like. Show me you have a right to dispose of the pearls, and you need go no further than my shop for a customer.’
‘I am not disposed to take that trouble, so I shall bid you good-night, and when you want any pearls again, I would certainly advise you not to be so wonderfully particular where you get them.’
Sweeney Todd strode towards the door, but the lapidary was not going to part with him so easy, for springing over his counter with an agility one would not have expected from so old a man, he was at the door in a moment, and shouted at the top of his lungs, ‘Stop thief! Stop thief! Stop him! There he goes! The big fellow with the three-cornered hat! Stop thief! Stop thief!’
These cries, uttered with great vehemence, as they were, could not be totally ineffective, but they roused the whole neighbourhood, and before Sweeney Todd had proceeded many yards a man made an attempt to collar him, but was repulsed by such a terrific blow in his face, that another person, who had run half-way across the road with a similar object, turned and went back again, thinking it scarcely prudent to risk his own safety in apprehending a criminal for the good of the public.
Having thus got rid of one of his foes, Sweeney Todd, with an inward determination to come back someday and be the death of the old lapidary, looked anxiously about for some court down which he could plunge, and so get out of sight of the many pursuers who were sure to attack him in the public streets.
His ignorance of the locality, however, was a great bar to such a proceeding, for the great dread he had was, that he might get down some blind alley, and so be completely caged, and at the mercy of those who followed him.
He pelted on at a tremendous speed, but it was quite astonishing to see how the little old lapidary ran after him, falling down every now and then, and never stopping to pick himself up, as people say, but rolling on and getting on his feet in some miraculous manner, that was quite wonderful to behold, particularly in one so aged, and so apparently unable to undertake any active exertion.
There was one thing, however, he could not continue doing, and that was to cry ‘stop thief!’ for he had lost his wind, and was quite incapable of uttering a word. How long he would have continued the chase is doubtful, but his career was suddenly put an end to, as regards that, by tripping his foot over a projecting stone in the pavement, and shooting headlong down a cellar which was open.
But abler persons than the little old lapidary had taken up the chase, and Sweeney Todd was hard pressed; and, although he ran very fast, the provoking thing was, that in consequence of the cries and shouts of his pursuers, new people took up the chase, who were fresh and vigorous, and close to him.
There is something awful in seeing a human being thus hunted by his fellows; and although we can have no sympathy with a man such as Sweeney Todd, because, from all that has happened, we begin to have some very horrible suspicions concerning him, still, as a general principle, it does not decrease the fact that it is a dreadful thing to see a human being hunted through the streets.
On he flew at the top of his speed, striking down whoever opposed him, until at last many who could have outrun him gave up the chase, not liking to encounter the knock-down blow which such a hand as his seemed capable of inflicting.
His teeth were set, and his breathing came short and laborious, just as a man sprung out at a shop-door and succeeded in laying hold of him.
‘I have got you, have I?’ he said.
Sweeney Todd uttered not a word, but, puffing forth an amount of strength that was perfectly prodigious, he seized the man by a great handful of his hair and by his clothes behind, and flung him through the shop-window, smashing glass, frame-work, and everything in his progress.
The man gave a shriek, for it was his own shop, and he was a dealer in fancy goods of the most flimsy texture, so that the smash with which he came down among his stock-in-trade, produced at once what the haberdashers are so delighted with in the present day, a ruinous sacrifice.
This occurrence had a great effect upon Sweeney Todd’s pursuers; it taught them the practical wisdom of not interfering with a man possessed evidently of such tremendous powers of mischief, and consequently, as just about this period the defeat of the little lapidary took place, he got considerably the start of his pursuers.
But he was by no means yet safe. The cry of ‘stop thief!’ still sounded in his ears, and on he flew, panting with the exertion he made, until he heard a man behind him say,-
‘Turn into the second court on your right and you will be safe. I’ll follow you. They shan’t nab you, if I can help it.’
Sweeney Todd had not much confidence in human nature—it was not likely he would; but, panting and exhausted as he was, the voice of anyone speaking in friendly accents was welcome, and, rather impulsively than from reflection, he darted down the second court to his right.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE THIEVES’ HOME
In a very few minutes Sweeney Todd found that this court had no thoroughfare, and therefore there was no outlet or escape; but he immediately concluded that something more was to be found than was at first sight to be seen, and, casting a furtive glance beside him in the direction in which he had come, rested his hand upon a door which stood close by.
The door gave way, and Sweeney Todd hearing, as he imagined, a noise in the street, dashed in and closed the door, and then he, heedless of all consequences, walked to the end of a long, dirty passage, and, pushing open a door, descended a short flight of steps, to the bottom of which he had scarcely got, when the door which faced him at the bottom of the steps opened by some hand, and he suddenly found himself in the presence of a number of men seated round a large table.
In an instant all eyes were turned towards Sweeney Todd, who was quite unprepared for such a scene, and for a minute he knew not what to say; but, as indecision was not Sweeney Todd’s characteristic, he at once advanced to the table and sat down.
There was some surprise evinced by the persons who were seated in that room, of whom there were many more than a score, and much talking was going on among them, which did not appear to cease on his entrance.
Those who were near him looked hard at him, but nothing was said for some minutes, and Sweeney Todd looked about to understand, if he could, how he was placed, though it could not be much of a matter of doubt as to the character of the individuals present.
Their looks were often an index to their vocations, for all grades of the worst of characters were there, and some of them were by no means complimentary to human nature, for there were some of the most desperate characters that were to be found in London.
They were dressed in various fashions, some after the manner of the city—some more gay, and some half military, while not a few wore the garb of country-men; but there was in all that an air of scampish, offhand behaviour, not unmixed with brutality.
‘Friend,’ said one, who sat near him, ‘how came you here; are you known here?’
‘I came here, because I found the door open, and I was told by someone to come here, as I was pursued.’
‘Pursued!’
‘Ay, someone running after me, you know.’
‘I know what being pursued is,’ replied the man, ‘and yet I know nothing of you.’
‘That is not at all astonishing,’ said Sweeney, ‘seeing that I never saw you before, nor you me; but that makes no difference. I’m in difficulties, and I suppose a man
may do his best to escape the consequences.
‘Yes, he may, yet there is no reason why he should come here; this is the place for free friends, who know and aid one another.’
‘And such I am willing to be; but at the same time I must have a beginning. I cannot be initiated without someone introducing me. I have sought protection, and I have found it; if there be any objection to my remaining here any longer, I will leave.’
‘No, no,’ said a tall man on the other side of the table, ‘I have heard what you said, and we do not usually allow any such things; you have come here unasked, and now we must have a little explanation, our own safety may demand it; at all events we have our customs, and they must be complied with.’
‘And what are your customs?’ demanded Todd.
‘This: you must answer the questions which we shall propound unto you; now answer truly what we shall ask of you.’
‘Speak,’ said Todd, ‘and I will answer all that you proposed to me if possible.’
‘We will not tax you too hardly, depend upon it: who are you?’
‘Candidly, then,’ said Todd, ‘that’s a question I do not like to answer, nor do I think it is one that you ought to ask. It is an inconvenient thing to name oneself—you must pass by that enquiry.’
‘Shall we do so?’ enquired the interrogator of those around him, and, gathering his cue from their looks, he after a brief pause continued,-
‘Well, we will pass over that, seeing it is not necessary; but you must tell us what you are, cutpurse, footpad, or what not?’
‘I am neither.’
‘Then tell us in your own words,’ said the man, ‘and be candid with us. What are you?’
‘I am an artificial pearl-maker—or a sham pearl-maker, whichever way you please to call it.’
‘A sham pearl-maker! that may be an honest trade for all we know, and that will hardly be your passport to our house, friend sham pearl-maker!’
‘That may be as you say,’ replied Todd, ‘but I will challenge any man to equal me in my calling. I have made pearls that would pass with almost a lapidary, and which would pass with nearly all the nobility.’
‘I begin to understand you, friend; but I would wish to have some proof of what you say: we may hear a very good tale, and yet none of it shall be true; we are not the men to be made dupes of, besides, there are enough to take vengeance, if we desire it.’
‘Ay, to be sure there is,’ said a gruff voice from the other end of the table, which was echoed from one to the other, till it came to the top of the table.
‘Proof! proof! proof!’ now resounded from one end of the room to the other.
‘My friends,’ said Sweeney Todd, rising up, and advancing to the table, and thrusting his hand into his bosom, and drawing out the string of twenty-four pearls, ‘I challenge you or anyone to make a set of artificial pearls equal to these: they are my make, and I’ll stand to it in any reasonable sum that you cannot bring a man who shall beat me in my calling.’
‘Just hand them to me,’ said the man who had made himself interrogator.
Sweeney Todd threw the pearls on the table carelessly, and then said, ‘There, look at them well, they’ll bear it, and I reckon, though there may be some good judges ‘mongst you, that you cannot any of you tell them from real pearls, if you had not been told so.’
‘Oh, yes, we know pretty well,’ said the man, ‘what these things are: we have now and then a good string in our possession, and that helps us to judge of them. Well, this is certainly a good imitation.’
‘Let me see it,’ said a fat man; ‘I was bred a jeweller, and I might say born, only I couldn’t stick to it; nobody likes working for years upon little pay, and no fun with the gals. I say, hand it here!’
‘Well,’ said Todd, ‘if you or anybody ever produced as good an imitation, I’ll swallow the whole string; and, knowing there’s poison in the composition, it would certainly not be a comfortable thing to think of.’
‘Certainly not,’ said the big man, ‘certainly not; but hand them over, and I’ll tell you all about it.’
The pearls were given into his hands; and Sweeney Todd felt some misgivings about his precious charge, and yet he showed it not, for he turned to the man, who sat beside him, saying,-
‘If he can tell true pearls from them, he knows more than I think he does, for I am a maker, and have often had the true pearl in my hand.’
‘And I suppose,’ said the man, ‘you have tried your hand at puffing the one for the other, and so doing your confiding customers.’
‘Yes, yes, that is the dodge, I can see very well,’ said another man, winking at the first; ‘and a good one too, I have known them do so with diamonds.’
‘Yes, but never with pearls; however, there are some trades that it is desirable to know.’
‘You’re right.’
The fat man now carefully examined the pearls, and set them down on the table, and looked hard at them.
‘There now, I told you I could bother you. You are not so good a judge that you would not have known, if you had not been told they were sham pearls, but what they were real.’
‘I must say, you have produced the best imitations I have ever seen. Why, you ought to make your fortune in a few years—a handsome fortune.’
‘So I should, but for one thing.’
‘And what is that?’
‘The difficulty,’ said Todd, ‘of getting rid of them; if you ask anything below their value, you are suspected, and you run the chance of being stopped and losing them at the least, and perhaps, entail a prosecution.’
‘Very true; but there is risk in everything; we all run risks; but then the harvest.’
‘That may be,’ said Todd, ‘but this is peculiarly dangerous. I have not the means of getting introductions to the nobility themselves, and if I had I should be doubted, for they would say a workman cannot come honestly by such valuable things, and then I must concoct a tale to escape the Mayor of London!’
‘Ha!—ha!—ha!’
‘Well, then, you can take them to a goldsmith.’
‘There are not many of them who would do so; they would not deal in them; and, moreover, I have been to one or two of them; as for a lapidary, why, he is not so easily cheated.’
‘Have you tried?’
‘I did, and had to make the best of my way out, pursued as quickly as they could run, and I thought at one time I must have been stopped, but a few lucky turns brought me clear, when I was told to turn up this court, and I came in here.’
‘Well,’ said one man, who had been examining the pearls, ‘and did the lapidary find out they were not real?’
‘Yes, he did; and he wanted to stop me and the string altogether, for trying to impose upon him; however I made a rush at the door, which he tried to shut, but I was the stronger man, and here I am.’
‘It has been a close chance for you,’ said one.
‘Yes, it just has,’ replied Sweeney, taking up the string of pearls, which he replaced in his clothes, and continued to converse with some of those around him.
Things now subsided into their general course; and little notice was taken of Sweeney. There was some drink on the board, of which all partook. Sweeney had some, too, and took the precaution of emptying his pockets before them all, and gave a share of his money to pay their footing.
This was policy, and they all drank to his success, and were very good companions. Sweeney, however, was desirous of getting out as soon as he could, and more than once cast his eyes towards the door; but he saw there were eyes upon him, and dared not excite suspicion, for he might undo all that he had done.
To lose the precious treasure he possessed would be maddening; he had succeeded to admiration in inducing the belief that what he showed them was merely a counterfeit; but he knew so well that they were real, and that a latent feeling that they we
re humbugged might be hanging about; and that at the first suspicious movement he would be watched, and some desperate attempt would be made to make him give them up.
It was with no small violence to his own feelings that he listened to their conversation, and appeared to take an interest in their proceedings.
‘Well,’ said one, who sat next him, ‘I’m just off for the north-road.’
‘Any fortune there?’
‘Not much; and yet I mustn’t complain: these last three weeks the best I have had has been two sixties.’
‘Well, that would do very well.’
‘Yes, the last man I stopped was a regular looby Londoner; he appeared like a don, complete tip-top man of fashion; but Lord! when I came to look over him, he hadn’t as much as would carry me twenty-four miles on the road.’
‘Indeed! don’t you think he had any hidden about him? they do so now.
‘Ah, ah!’ returned another, ‘well said, old fellow; ’tis a true remark that we can’t always judge a man from appearances. Lor! bless me, now, who’d a-thought your swell cove proved to be out of luck! Well, I’m sorry for you; but you know ’tis a long lane that has no turning, as Mr Somebody says—so, perhaps, you’ll be more fortunate another time. But come, cheer up, whilst I relate an adventure that occurred a little time ago; ‘twas a slice of good luck, I assure you, for I had no difficulty in bouncing my victim out of a good swag of tin; for you know farmers returning from market are not always too wary and careful, especially as the lots of wine they take at the market dinners make the cosy old boys ripe and mellow for sleep. Well, I met one of these jolly gentlemen, mounted on horseback, who declared he had nothing but a few paltry guineas about him; however, that would not do—I searched him, and found a hundred and four pounds secreted about his person.’