by Lacey Wolfe
“Oh. My. God!” Paisley arched her back as she released.
After she caught her breath, I pushed her leg back down. She didn’t look at me, in fact it seemed as though she was avoiding eye contact all together.
“What’s wrong?”
“I, uh.” She took a deep breath. “I should reciprocate, but I’ve never been…never…”
“Never what?”
She closed her eyes tightly. “Don’t make me say it.”
Kissing her cheek lightly, I whispered, “You can tell me anything. I’d never judge you for anything.”
“I’m not good at…” She paused and the next part came out softly. “Hand jobs.”
“Paisley, look at me.” I waited until her blue eyes finally gazed back into mine. “I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“But you just—”
“I don’t expect you to reciprocate.” And I didn’t. Just getting to touch Paisley the way I had was enough for me.
“I want to, though.”
I grunted. She was trying to kill me. “Let’s just talk for a bit.” I pulled her into a sitting position alongside me. “Classes are starting soon. Are you excited?”
“Way to change the subject.” She giggled. “A little.”
“Do you have a major picked out yet?”
“Hell no.” She tossed her hair behind her shoulder. “I’m only eighteen. It’s insane they want me to decide what I want to do right now for the rest of my life. I’m hoping I have an idea after the core classes.”
I smiled. She was on to something. “What interests you?”
“I honestly don’t know. Is that sad?”
“No.” At twenty-three, I really had no idea what I wanted to do, either. I agreed with her thinking that adults expected us to know just what we wanted to do with our lives the second we graduated high school.
She rubbed my arm. “You mentioned you write?”
“I do.”
Staring into my eyes, she asked the question I always hated. “What do you write?”
I ran my fingers along her forearm. “Before I met you, I was writing a crime-thriller featuring a serial killer.”
“How has that changed since meeting me?” She raised an eyebrow.
My serial killer muse had died and had been replaced with a goddess. “Now I feel like writing sappy romances.”
She shoved my shoulder playfully. “You’re crazy. I’d love to see what you’ve written.”
I shook my head. “No one’s ever laid eyes on it. I’d be nervous. What if it sucks?”
“Doubtful. I bet you’re going to be the next James Patterson.”
“You’ve got that much faith, and you’ve never read it?” I cocked an eyebrow.
She rubbed my cheek and stared into my eyes. “I do.”
Damn it. This girl was under my skin. Leaning forward, I kissed her again. When I pulled back, she grinned. “Why are you smiling?”
“You make me happy.”
“I better get you home.” I stood and pulled her up with me. “Otherwise, I’m gonna keep you on my couch all day.”
“I wouldn’t mind.”
She might not, but I needed to take things slow with her and make sure she knew just how much I cared for her. But first, I needed to wrap my own head around how much I liked her.
Classes are beginning tomorrow. To say I’m nervous is an understatement. For the last twenty minutes hoping I’ve paced my apartment hoping I have everything. Books: check. Paper: check. Pencils: check. It’s the first day. How much work is really going to be done? The teachers will probably just stand there and talk about the semester—yadda, yadda, yadda—and then they’ll dismiss us and off we go to the next class to repeat the above.
I hadn’t spent as much time with Gabe this past week as I would’ve liked. He’d been taking care of his brother a lot. I was curious about the situation. He hadn’t gone into much detail, but I could tell whatever was going on, it bothered him. I figured if he wanted to talk to me about it, eventually he would.
This girlfriend thing wasn’t new to me, but it felt that way with Gabe. I was a fumbling mess.
We hadn’t made out again since that day on his couch over a week ago. I still got a shiver when I thought about it. It hadn’t been my first taste of an orgasm, but it had been my best.
My phone buzzed loudly on the coffee table, pulling me from my thoughts. I had a new text message.
Can I come in?
I sighed. It was Evan, and I’d been avoiding him. I replied, Sure.
He was probably nervous about tomorrow as well. We were friends, after all. I needed to be there for him the way he was for me.
I opened the door and he stood there, grinning, with a paper bag in his hand. He came in and went straight to the couch, plopped down, and put his feet up on the coffee table.
“Make yourself at home.” I rolled my eyes, but then joined him. I needed to get another chair in here besides the one couch. “What brings you by?”
He opened the bag and handed me a brown bottle. “Figured you were freaked out about tomorrow, so I brought you a beer.”
I held the cool bottle in my hand then set it down on the coffee table. “Thanks. How did you get this? You’re not twenty-one.”
He shrugged. “It’s not that hard to get alcohol. Just have to know the right people.” He popped the lid off his and chugged half of it. “Anyway, drink.”
Talk about pressure. Anytime I was around Evan lately, I felt pressured to do something. “I don’t know. My nerves are out of whack, it might make me sick.”
“More for me.”
“I’m worried about you,” I blurted out.
He chuckled and stared at the bottle. “Why?”
Let me think. You act weird. You drink a lot and who knows what else. “You’re not yourself.”
He cocked an eyebrow and game a silly smirk. “Oh yeah? How have I changed?”
I began to feel irritated, which was how I always felt around him now. “Well for one, you drink a lot. And two, Pete.”
“I drink a lot?” He shook his head. “How the hell would you know, Pais? You don’t have anything to do with me anymore. It’s just Gabe.”
His tone grated my nerves. “That’s not true.”
“Please.” He took a long draw from the bottle.
“I believe the last time I saw you, you were the one who walked away from me…a few weeks ago.” I crossed my arms.
“Yeah, because you were being stupid and naive.”
I stared at him. Had he just called me stupid along with the one word I was beginning to wish could be removed from the dictionary? “You’re a jerk.”
“Apparently that’s the kind of guys you like.”
I stood, needing space from him. “Quit bossing me around. You’re not my parents, and even they don’t treat me the way you do, thinking you can tell me what to do all the time. I’m an adult, and you can leave.”
“I don’t want to.” I heard the beer bottle meet the coffee table. “I’m sorry.”
I kept my back to him. Whatever was going on with him was affecting our friendship. I hated it. The idea of Evan and I not being friends just didn’t seem possible. I’d hung out with him almost every day of my life until he moved out first, and now he was like a stranger to me.
Finally, I spun back around. “Let’s just put this behind us.” I smiled, trying to appear sincere. “I’m sure we’re both worried tomorrow.”
He patted the couch for me to sit and I did. “Will you sit with me in math?”
“Of course.”
Evan surprised me by putting an arm around me. “I’m always here for you. I’m not going anywhere. I just hope you don’t get too hurt by this Gabe guy.”
“I may, or may not. But this is my life. So if I do, I’ll pick up the pieces and move on.”
His mouth was close to my ear. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
My neck felt cool where his breath had bee
n. I could feel him staring hard at me, almost willing me with his mind to turn and look at him. But I knew if I did, he’d kiss me, and there was no way I could go down that road with Evan.
Instead, I reached forward and grabbed the beer, opening it.
Evan laughed and picked his up, too. “Need that drink after all?”
I nodded as I took several big gulps; anything to break the tension between Evan and me. He wanted to push us into a new realm of our relationship. Why did I have a sinking feeling that before long, I wouldn’t have Evan in my life, at all?
* * *
I stared at my screen watching Kristy as she chatted about some guy she’d met on the beach, and how she was obsessed with seeing him again. Yet she hadn’t gotten his name.
“It sounds like you’re having fun, though,” I said.
“A blast. You, too, even though Evan is being a suck face.”
I laughed at her choice of words. “Yeah.”
“When are you seeing Gabe again?”
“Soon.” I missed him. “Ms. Clara let me have the week off so I could adjust to classes. I’m hoping to spend some of my free time with him.”
“Is he still heating you up?” I could see Kristy trying to contain a giggle.
I shook my head and grinned. “I’m not kissing and telling.”
“Bitch.” She stuck her tongue out. “I’d tell you.”
“If it happens, I promise to call and tell you.”
“You’d better.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Roomie’s here. Gotta go,” she leaned close to the phone, “you have no freakin’ idea how lucky you are that your parents are renting you a place.”
“We’ll chat soon.” I pressed the button to end the video call.
I knew I was lucky my parents had gotten me this place, even though I was lonely. I wished I had someone to hang out with in the evenings. With Evan acting weird, I didn’t want him here. I’d yet to meet anyone at school. Truth be told, I just wanted to be with Gabe. That was it. Something was wrong with me.
My stomach rumbled. I dragged myself into the kitchen, but all I had were Hot Pockets and Ramen Noodles. I wanted neither. I texted my bank account to get my balance. After it came back, I decided to head in to town and grab a bite to eat somewhere.
The air was humid, and I was glad I’d opted to wear it up; otherwise, I’d have a frizz mess before long. I turned down the road that would take me by Blue Mountain Coffee. I hadn’t heard from Gabe yet today. No text or call to see how my first day was. Maybe I was being childish. After all, he was older and didn’t go to college. I guess I was lame thinking he’d want to see how my first day was.
With a five year difference between us, would we ever be on the same level as each other? Or would I always be the one catching up to where he was in life?
I was not going to keep having these thoughts. No reason to jinx something that had just started.
His bike sat out front the coffee shop. I couldn’t exactly walk by without going in, could I? They served pastries. Come to think of it. I could really go for some caffeine right about now.
I pulled the black door open and stepped in. Right away, I heard a giggle and turned to see some girl sitting at a table with Gabe. She paid me no attention, but he did.
“Paisley.” He grinned and held a hand out.
I reluctantly took it and he pulled me down into a chair next to his. The girl no longer smiled; instead, she shot a daggered look at me. Was I interrupting something? I felt like I had. No one talked. Just sat quietly.
The girl pushed her chair back and stood, and I noticed the apron she wore with the coffee shop’s logo on it. “I’ll get back to work.”
Once she was back behind the counter, she pulled her phone out and put her back to us. I glanced over at Gabe who leaned forward and quickly kissed my lips.
“I missed you,” he said.
I couldn’t shake the feeling I had. Something wasn’t right. “Who was that?” I asked, not caring if I sounded like a jealous girlfriend. Hell, I was one.
“That’s Leah. She works here, you should know that. She’s been here each time you’ve come.”
Obviously, I hadn’t paid any attention to the employees. “Are you friends?”
He sipped from the drink in front of him. “I guess. Not really.”
Apparently, he didn’t get I needed a little more info then he was giving. “Why was she sitting with you?”
“Chill, Pais.” He released my hand and leaned back in his chair. “She has a crush on me.”
He said it so nonchalantly. It was no big deal to him, but it was to me. “Does she know about me?”
Gabe groaned and his frustration threw me for a loop. “Yes, she does.”
At least she knew he was mine—for now.
“Did you want something? I’ll go up there and order it,” he asked.
I hopped up, letting my chair scoot back roughly. “I can get it.”
I didn’t want them talking to each other more than they had to. But as I approached the register, I realized that meant I had to talk to Leah.
“What can I get you?” Irritation laced her tone.
“A medium mocha and a cheese Danish.”
She pulled a marker from behind the resister and picked up a cup. “Name.”
No one else was here. Did she really need to be so precise? Besides, Gabe said she knew my name. “Paisley.”
Leah wrote it then looked me up and down. “That’ll be six dollars and seventy-five cents.”
I dug through my purse for my wallet, but then Gabe appeared at me side. “It’s on me. Put Paisley’s stuff on my tab from now on.”
Leah spun around quickly, her brown pony tail moved with her.
“You don’t have to do that,” I said as we walked back over to the table.
With his hand on my lower back, he said, “Of course I do. You’re my girlfriend.”
At that instant, the whole Leah jealousy thing went away. That was right. I was his girlfriend. “Are you working tonight? We could go back to my place.”
Leah appeared with my stuff. She set it on the table, then turned on her heels and went back to the register. What a bitch.
“I’m not working tonight, but I can’t come over either. I wish I could.”
“Oh, okay.” Disappointment flooded me.
“My dad will be here soon. It’s inventory night and he wants me to help.”
“Will Leah be here?” I hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
Gabe caressed my chin. “I have no idea, and I don’t care. You shouldn’t either.”
Maybe I was being silly. I took a bite of my Danish, and glanced back toward Leah. She had her back to us again and was on her phone, or so I assumed. It was exciting to be the one with the hot guy all the girls wanted, for once. I’d never experienced this before. A girl could get used to it.
I devoured my Danish in record speed. “So, want to walk me home, at least?”
“I’d be honored.” He winked.
I really just wanted to get him alone so I could kiss him. It seemed like all I thought about these days were his lips. After I stood, I picked up my drink and we headed for the door. I tossed a look at Leah and she watched us. Without a second though, I grabbed his hand and we went outside.
We began to walk in the direction on my place, but then a male voice called to Gabe.
“Hey, Dad.” He let go of my hand.
“Where are you off to?” His dad’s gaze was focused on me.
“Walking Paisley home.”
His father put his hand out for me to shake. After I took it, he squeezed a little too tight. “I’m Mr. Cox.”
Cox. It took everything in me to contain a smile. “Nice to meet you.”
Mr. Cox turned his attention back to Gabe. “Don’t be late.”
Gabe took my hand again and we walked away.
“He seems cool.” Though I didn’t really know.
“He’s a real asshole.” Gabe’s tone was gruff.
I didn’t press. Gabe’s life was a mystery to me. It seemed I was always talking about mine, but didn’t know much about his. Maybe I needed to make a point to talk to him more about him. For all I knew, he needed someone to talk to.
We strolled up to my building. “You sure you don’t want to come up?”
“Can’t. Sorry.”
I shrugged. “I understand. Your dad is waiting on you.”
He grabbed my hips and tugged me to him. He lowered his lips to mine, and like usual, everything heated up right away, and I wanted much more than this kiss. Maybe it was a good thing he couldn’t come in.
The kiss ended much too soon. He pressed his forehead to mine and gazed in to my eyes. “Have I mentioned how much my dad’s an asshole?”
I giggled. “You have, but its okay, really. We’ve got plenty of time, and I’m here to talk whenever you need it.”
He kissed me once more, just a quick light peck. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
I smiled. “Okay. Maybe we can even take a ride.”
“You’re turning into a real biker babe.”
I winked. “Only for you.”
Gabe smirked, shook his head, and then started to walk away. I stood and watched him as he left. Once he was out of my vision, I headed up to my apartment. I was disappointed to be alone again, when I wanted him with me. Instead, he had to help his dad and Leah would be there.
I picked up my cell and dialed my mom.
“Hey, sweetie.”
“Hey.” It was good to hear her voice. I’d been trying to not call her daily, it had been harder than I expected.
“You sound down? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, just overwhelmed with school and living on my own. It gets lonely, and I’m missing you and Dad.” Which wasn’t a complete lie.
She snickered. “Maybe we should’ve gotten you a unit without a washer and dryer so you had a reason to come home once a week.”
Maybe. Plopping down on the couch, I got comfortable as I prepared to spend the evening on the phone with my mom.
* * *
Friday arrived quickly. I sat waiting on Evan. He and Pete were having a party and he insisted I come. Going wasn’t my ideal night, but at the same time, letting back and “chilling” as Evan called it, sounded cool. I was eighteen. This was supposed to be my thing.