by Bella Lamour
That line of thought kept her distracted as they collected blood and saliva samples; and, then finally, semen. She felt like a lab rat, being poked and prodded for endless amounts of data.
“Alright, that should be all,” Rivera stated calmly. His clinical and detached tone made the whole situation easier for Yuki. She didn't need his pity, or his comfort. In fact, that would have made her feel worse to be treated like some poor, helpless woman who had been thoroughly ravaged by big, hulking monsters in men's clothing.
“Thanks.”
“Dr. Rivera, the detective is here.”
“You ready? Would you like the nurse to stay with you for support?”
“No, that's fine. Send 'em in.”
He nodded and let himself out, and another figure filled his spot. He was a tall man, and for a moment his looming silhouette in the back lit entrance swamped her with terror. But she was able to get control of herself. This man was here to help.
“Yuki Kobayashi?”
“That's me. Your lucky winner.”
He stepped forward. He was dressed fairy nicely, in a button up shirt and black pants. His skin was a rich brown, but he had light hazel eyes. His expression was fairly neutral, but I could feel a professional sort of seriousness about him.
“I'm sorry for what you had to go through tonight. I'm Detective Xavier White. I'm going to be the lead in investigating your case. I know what you've been through is difficult, and right now the last thing you want to do is tell some stranger all about the worst night of your life, but I need you to describe everything you can remember. No detail is unimportant.”
“I know.” She let out a long sigh, gathering her wits. “I work at The Black Unicorn. That's where I met Buck. Um…Julian. Julian Warbucks. He was a client.”
“And The Black Unicorn is?”
“It's a hostess bar. And some escorts work there too.”
“And are you an escort?”
“No. I'm a hostess. I usually host private tea parties or go on dates when
traveling businessman need company.”
“And that's it?”
She gave him a look. “Yes. That is it. I said I'm not an escort. I would tell you if I was, because you're just going to go to my place of work and verify my position and all the other details.”
“You're familiar with this process?”
“I'm a med student. I've assisted with a few rape examinations on my rotations.”
“I see. Can you tell me what happened from the beginning when you met this Julian?”
So she did. Yuki told him every single detail she could remember. From Buck's overpowering cologne, to the restaurant they went to. When she finished, Detective White was giving her a somewhat wide eyed look.
“What?”
“You stole his car?”
“Yeah, I had to get away.”
“I know, that's just...quite impressive. And it's here?”
“As far as I know. They might have towed it. I kinda just pulled right in front of the ER doors.”
“Excellent. Even if it's stuck in impound, we'll definitely have footage of it.”
“I guess my luck had to kick in somewhere.”
“You're a strong woman, Miss Kobayashi. Is there anything I can do before you're taken back to your room?”
“Yeah. Buck and one of the guys were foreigners. What if they're already on a plane and out of here?”
“If they're already gone, we can contact their governments and try to extradite them. But if they're still in the United States, we can put a freeze on their passports. They'll be grounded. I promise.”
“Thank you.”
He nodded and exited the room. Almost immediately a nurse entered and readied her for transport up to her room. Yuki stayed silent while the woman was buzzing around her. She had suffered a horrible fate, but she had survived it. Like a broken bone, she would do what was necessary to speed along the healing process, but she would continue to live her life.
And if she recalled right, she had some homework to do. She had tests coming up. She was not going to let this random tragedy define her. And she wasn't certainly wasn't going to let three misogynists with violent tendencies dictate her life.
*
Average number of rapes to every murder committed annually: 5 to 1
Yuki fiddled with the key to her place, squinting in the faint light of the mostly-set sun. She had finally been released from the hospital, and she couldn’t wait to sleep in her own bed, with her own things, in something that wasn’t a barely-there patient gown.
She slid the key in the lock and pushed open her door, only to be greeted by very indignant meowing.
“Oh Buster!” She cried, melting to the floor. “Buster, I forgot all about you, my poor baby.”
Luckily, he was feeling generous, and didn’t claw her to death for her neglect. She was abruptly very grateful that she had purchased a feeder that released cat food on a set schedule. Granted, she had initially purchased it because a medical professional’s schedule was so unpredictable.
“Baby, I’m so sorry. Did you miss me? Hmm?” The fat, orange cat let out a mewl, and wound about anxiously in her lap. It was right about then that Yuki noticed the faint scent of ammonia and feces. “Or did you just miss your giant litterbox cleaner?” She scratched behind his ears then pulled herself off of the floor.
Crossing to her kitchen, she flipped on the light and searched under the sink for her plastic bag that was filled with other plastic bags. Grabbing a couple, she picked a main one that looked like it didn’t have any holes, and then lined it with the others. Once her super-secure poop holding bag was ready, she headed to the bathroom.
The litter box certainly needed tending to. At first Yuki had been intending to get everything out with her kitty scooper, but on second thought, she just emptied the entire bin into her bag.
It was almost surreal. To think that she had gone from a violent rape that almost killed her to…taking out her kitty’s poop.
She laughed to herself on her way to the door, planning to carry the litter-full back to the dumpster outside rather than keep the stinky thing in her house. But as soon as she opened her front door, she realized that the sun had finished setting.
She stared out into the twilight, which was interrupted occasionally by the orange glow of her complex’s outdoor lights. She knew she needed to go the dumpster. Just like she knew that statically speaking, nothing was waiting for her out there.
But she couldn’t bring herself to step over the threshold. She stood there, frozen, until Buster’s meowing forced her back to reality.
“Screw this.” She hissed, setting the litter bag outside her door and then slamming it shut. She could grab it in the morning.
Suddenly exhausted, she tromped to her bed. She left her kitchen and bathroom lights on, electricity was included in her rent so why not? Fear starting to grow in the pit of her stomach, she changed out of the sweatpants and oversized shirt Detective White had purchased for her to go home in since her dress was currently under guard in the precinct’s evidence locker.
Although it was incredibly comforting to slide into her fleece jammies, even their soft warmth couldn’t take the edge off her growing paranoia. Abruptly her apartment was too big, too quiet, too empty. It made her nervous. Like anything could creep out of the shadows and put her through hell again.
She slid under the covers with her heart beating rapidly. During her entire treatment at the hospital, she had been living for the moment she could return to the haven of her apartment. And now that she was in her safe place… well it didn’t seem all that safe. Like Buck and his minions could solidify from the shadows at will.
Buster gave a little chirp from the floor, then vaulted up onto her bed. Purring like a motor, he stalked up to her chest and curled up next to her. It looked like he had missed her after all.
Smiling softly, Yuki pressed a kiss to his furry head. He was such a good boy. He had been with her through losi
ng her father, and he would get her through this.
As if he could hear her, his purring only increased as her tears dripped onto his orange coat, and that soothing sound finally lulled her to sleep.
*
Rape Victims are 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol
“Much better.”
She was in the forest. She was always in the forest. Trees loomed around her like unbreakable bars of a prison that would never let her leave. And three black voids in the shape of men were her wardens.
“Isn't she cute?” Buck asked. His voice boomed, filling the night air around him, physically compressing Yuki to make her smaller.
“Yeah, but she's got some attitude on her face.”
“You know, you're right.”
Pain, violence. He lashed out and then she was on the ground again, lip bleeding. Fear entrenched every molecule of her being. She was so weak compared to these grown men. Helpless to their lust for blood and flesh.
Once again, about connected to her side, driving the air from her lungs. She cried for mercy, for some sort of relief, but another blow landed on her spine.
This time she screamed, turning her throat raw. She knew what would happen next, but she could do nothing to change it. Everything was just pain and blood, blood and pain, with the trio’s vicious laughs echoing through the night.
Yuki tried to roll away, but someone gripped her hair again and pulled her towards them.
She stilled, and tried to catch her breath. Julian was circling her again, a shark orbiting its prey before it took the final bite.
“Get on your knees.”
Just like the first time, she obeyed.
“Now crawl to me.”
She did.
“Perfect. You're doing good, Sakura.” This was not good. It was vile, and twisted and had already happened once. Why was she trapped here again? It wasn’t fair! She wanted to live. She just wanted to be free of this nightmare...
He was in her mouth again, hissing slurs as she bobbed along his intruding length. She just wanted to be free. Why couldn't she escape this night?
His hands buried themselves in her hair and jerked harshly. She remembered how hard she had to fight not to bite down again. She was stupidly worrying about losing her teeth to another blow. Like that mattered considering the torture she knew was coming. Why couldn't she just wake up?
And then she was thrown to the ground. Like trash. Useless, disgusting trash. She was worthless. Less than worthless.
“That was close,” He had breathed, like it was some sort of goddamned compliment. “Be careful she doesn't get you off too soon. The night had just begun.
Instead of Thomas gripping her next, it was long, ebony fingers tipped in red nails. It was darkness and evil itself that forced her towards it's straining member that was leaking inky, oxny liquid. She knew it wasn't real. That her mind was trying to make sense of a senseless act by substituting the men for actual monsters. But she still tried to turn her head away. She didn't want to. Why couldn't they just let her go!
The demon encompassing her hissed, growled and spit, thoroughly enjoying the torture before he barked in Buck's demanding voice.
“Swallow it.” Buck ordered. “All if it.”
She obeyed, but Buck was closing in on her again, eyes gleaming with excitement before he too morphed into a giant, devil beast.
She sat bolt upright in bed, heart pounding. Her hand went to her face to realize she had tears pouring down her cheeks. It took several moments of steady breathing before she heard an obnoxious and loud sound coming from very close to her.
Blearily looking around, she saw her alarm clock was going off insistently. She had forgotten she had set that. Sighing, she shut it off and flopped back down into her pillows.
How was she supposed to survive if the past refused to stay in the past where it was supposed to be?
*
Rape Victims are 26 times more likely to abuse drugs.
Yuki drew in a deep breath, staring up at the building looming over her. It was her first day back at school in two weeks and she was so terribly behind. She had spoken to her councilor about whether she should take a medical leave of absence. But they decided she should try a couple of days and see if the gap was surmountable. Yuki was sure it would be.
She headed to her class, still a little slow from the intense bruising on her ribs, but otherwise mostly healed. She kept her eyes focused forward, but as she passed a couple of other students, she thought she heard them whisper something about escorts.
She paused, and turned around, but they had already passed behind the corner of a building. She was probably just being paranoid.
She continued on, but as she walked she became increasingly aware of multiple pairs of eyes on her. Surely she couldn't be imagining all of it? Could people know? How could they possibly know? She had told no one, and only Mandy had ever visited her.
Suddenly each step was weighted so heavily, she had to struggle to lift her foot. By the time she reached her classroom, she was breathless and her heart was racing. Sure enough, as she started walking to an open desks, she heard more whispers and saw more pointing out of her peripheral vision.
Oh god, they knew. Somehow they knew.
She had no choice but to pretend that everything was just fine, but she sat with her spine ramrod
straight. The whispers continued, building upon each other, ringing in her ears, until the professor walked in. Finally, she had a moment of peace as he started the lecture.
But she couldn't focus on his lesson. Her senses were on high alert from all the stares directed at her back. Maybe after a few days the novelty would wear off and she could go back to being a normal med student.
As soon as the class ended, she practically bolted from the room. She rushed through the halls, looking for some sort of escape from the eyes still boring into her. She darted into the girl’s restroom, and fled to one of the stalls. Pulling her feet up, she tried to get a hold of herself.
She had told herself that she wasn't going to let this affect her, but how was she supposed to pretend that she was just another boring, run of the mill med student when everyone else was trying to remind her of what she was supposed to forget?
The door creaked open and Yuki held her breath. She just wanted to be alone. Was that too much to ask?
“Hey, did you hear about that girl?”
“What girl?” A second voice questioned.
“You know,” Great, a third voice. “The one that was raped.”
“Oh yeah.”
“I dunno, I heard she was a hooker. If you rape a hooker, is it really rape? It's more like theft of property, right?”
“I mean, if she was selling it, she kinda put herself in that position.”
“I don't think so. Guys, sex workers deserve basic human rights just like us.”
“Oh Maya, you're so cute when you get all PC like that.”
“I'm not being PC. I'm serious. She's a woman just like us. She's a student. Just like us. And someone violated her and beat her into an inch of her life. If people did that to you, wouldn't you want people to support you instead of saying it's her fault?”
“Whatever. Just saying, when you go out with strange foreign rich men for a job, you're just putting yourself in a bad position.”
“How do we know she didn't just regret a bad transaction? I mean, she gets paid for sex. That's kinda indicative of her morals.”
“Wow, Jessica. Really? I can't believe you.”
“What?”
“You know what, I don't need to be around this. I'll see you guys later.”
“Wow, what's your problem, Maya.”
“If you don't get it, I doubt I can explain it to you in a women's bathroom.”
This time the door slammed open and then there were only two.
“What the hell is her issue?”
“I dunno. Getting all defensive about hookers and social justice whatever.”
“But s
till, it is kinda sad though.”
“Sluts reap what they sow.”
“I uh...let's just go get some iced coffee before our next class.”
“Okay, lemme just finish putting on my lip gloss.”
Yuki endured the remaining few seconds they were there, practically radiating shame and rage from where she was huddled on the toilet. They...they thought she had asked for this? They thought she deserved it?
Just because she chose to profit off of rich men's misogyny and took advantage of a system that was skewed against her, didn't make her deserve her assault. Nothing could have made her deserve her assault. And the thought that it was fellow women spewing such hateful, file beliefs made her sick to her stomach. How was she supposed to survive this?
Breath increasing rapidly, she did the only thing that helped her calm down nowadays, and whipped out her cellphone.
“Yuki, are you alright? Are you safe?”
“I'm at college, Detective White. I was wondering if I can come down to the station, discuss any updates in the case?”
There was a strange pause on the other end. “How about I come meet you there?”
“No. No definitely not. I need to get away.”
“Are you sure everything is alright.”
“I just...I....there's a small cafe down the road from campus. Let's meet there.”
“Alright. I can be there in about forty minutes.”
“Perfect. See you there.”
She tucked the cellphone back in her messenger bag and uncurled from her hiding spot. She had a lab period in ten minutes, but she didn't care. She had never skipped a class before, maybe now was the time.
Steadying her breath, she steeled her chin and headed back out into the hall. She could feel the oppressive gaze and opinions of others almost instantaneously, but she pressed on as if nothing was wrong.