by Dana Archer
Nic concentrated on keeping his breathing slow and steady to prevent his anger from consuming him. The dark emotion wouldn’t help. He needed to think. When he’d been younger, this was where he’d come to figure out his thoughts—his mom’s garden. He felt close to her here.
An invitation from the Shifter Council that had been waiting for him when he’d gotten home had left him rattled. It shouldn’t have. Ceremonies and tradition were common in shifter culture. This one was no different. The elders wanted to formerly meet Nicholas Kagan’s son, officially welcoming him into the ranks of leadership and no doubt judging his worth before he accepted the spirit wolf. Nic was supposed to have gotten the formal meet and greet over with after he matured, but he’d skipped town.
There was no more escaping. His future loomed before him. He wasn’t ready for it.
Nic turned his attention to the bush his mom had planted for him. She’d chosen some hardy rose variety with bloodred petals. The color symbolized what the alpha was to the pack—its heart. Every member would be connected to him, dependent on him, a part of him. She’d made him promise never to forget that, and as long as he didn’t, he’d make the right choices for the pack, even if they were hard ones to make.
Although he wasn’t alpha yet, he was acting as pack leader in his father’s absence, and the weight of responsibility that came with the role was already pressing on him. If he couldn’t keep the peace, and fighting erupted, the loss of his pack mates would be his fault.
The time he’d spent away from the pack made his job harder. He didn’t know who to trust beyond Riley and Hannah. Every dominant, including Sean, could upset the peaceful coexistence of their tightly woven community.
A pack’s stability came from the alpha. Disagreements were settled by him. Rules were enforced by him. Decisions were made by him. Quite simply, he was the binding force of the pack.
At the moment, Nic’s pack mates accepted his word in lieu of his dad’s because they believed Nic’s directions came from their alpha. If the truth got out—that they no longer had an alpha because Nic’s dad lost his tie to the spirit wolf—tensions would build. Fights would start. And dominants would begin to question Nic’s leadership.
His pack mates wouldn’t necessarily intend to cause issues, but each would begin to think they would be a better alpha and see this void as an opportunity to secure the most revered role a shifter male could hold. Even without the lure of power, it was in their nature to challenge the hierarchy of the pack. Only the strongest should rule. Nic didn’t fault them for it. What concerned him was the consequences of rearranging pack order. Nobody could die as a result of the dominance fights that’d break out.
Only he could prevent that outcome.
This wasn’t the path he wanted, even though he’d always known he would walk it. The pack wasn’t his only responsibility, though. Nic also had one to Riley. He had to keep her safe.
He couldn’t guarantee Ben hadn’t betrayed the secret he’d learned. Nor could he ensure the other females in Nic’s pack wouldn’t put two and two together, realizing exactly what Riley was to him. Both were out of his control. The past couldn’t be changed. Neither could his involvement with Riley. He had to spend time with her. Love her. Worship her. It was the only way to convince his wolf of Riley’s importance.
Nic scrubbed a hand down his face. He had to walk a fine line between leader and lover. No pressure. He could handle this. He nearly chuckled at the thought. Balancing the two roles would take a miracle, especially since his wolf wasn’t on the same page as him.
Nic pulled out his phone. He’d tackle one issue at a time. At the moment, the biggest threat to both his pack and Riley was the severely injured Tanner pack protector staying at the hospital. His condition bothered Nic.
According to the information he’d gotten, the other shifter had been tortured. That led Nic to wonder what was happening in the ranks of the Tanner pack. He needed inside information. There were two possible people who’d be able to give it to him—Sean’s cousin Noah, who was a dominant in the Tanner pack, or Nic’s band member Rick, who’d once been mated to Michael Tanner’s daughter.
Of the two males, Nic was closest to Rick. Nic only hoped he’d catch him while Rick was sober. As a widower, booze dimmed the loss of his mate, but it left him barely able to function most of the time.
Nic selected Rick’s number from his contacts and dialed.
“Yeah?” Rick’s groggy voice filled the line. Although sleepy, his greeting didn’t sound slurred. That was a plus.
“It’s Nic. I need your help.”
Rick’s deep chuckle held a condescending tone. “You’re escaping pack life already? No problem, man, I’ve got you covered. I can be there in eight hours to give you a lift out.”
Before Nic had returned to Hollow’s Grove, Rick had predicted Nic would be back, saying pack life wasn’t for guys like them, though Rick had never explained what he’d meant by that.
“No, I’m not leaving. I’m taking over as alpha, just like I said.” Of course, how long he remained as head of the pack depended on the selfish wolf he housed.
“That’s good news for your pack. Shitty news for you. The pressure is going to be on you, my friend. I hear you’re going to be tested pretty hard.”
“All new alphas are tested. It’s natural for members of the pack to question the ability of their new leader, even if he’s the rightful one to succeed.” Which was why new alphas usually mated immediately. The promise of the next generation went a long way to soothe the fears of the pack, especially if the baby conceived was a boy. And those who didn’t mate right away usually didn’t live long enough to choose a female.
“Yeah, suppose so, but…”
It wasn’t like Rick to hedge. “But what?”
“Rumor has it there are dominants in the Kagan pack who think you left when you did because you have no intention of being alpha or continuing the bloodline. That you’re either gay or in love with a woman you can’t mate.”
Nic straightened. He’d never mentioned Riley to Rick or any of the other members of the band. Only Sean and Hannah had known they’d been involved. Someone had to be able to protect Riley if the females of the pack turned against her. “That’s ridiculous.”
“About you being gay, sure it is. About you not wanting to take a mate and having no intention of staying?” Rick snorted. “I think that’s spot-on.”
His heart rate sped. Had he somehow slipped and given away his fascination with Riley? “Why’s that?”
“You never dated anyone.”
He’d never been tempted. Riley was all he’d needed or wanted. In hindsight, that had probably been a bad idea. Shifters were highly sexual. “I didn’t want to lead any of our women on. Every shifter female who tried to seduce me had her sights set on being the next alpha’s mate.”
“Hey, if that excuse worked on your pack mates, great.” Rick chuckled. “I’ve been alive a lot longer than you, though, so don’t bother lying to me. I saw the evidence with my own eyes. You’re in love with a girl you can never mate and be alpha.”
What evidence? Rick was either trying to coerce Nic into giving away the truth or Rick actually did know something damning. If Rick did, there was a chance others had found out too.
Nic scanned the backyard, then the house, looking for any sign he was being spied on. No movement, no eyes, no heartbeat. He was alone. He lowered his voice anyway. “What evidence?”
Rick’s chuckle deepened. “No denial? I was right. You—”
“What. Evidence.” Nic bit out the words.
“Remember when I went to Jenna and Sean’s wedding?”
Rick’s deceased mate and Jenna had been cousins. He’d gone to her wedding in honor of his mate’s memory. Nic had been tempted to go along too, but there would’ve been no way to avoid seeing Riley.
“While I was there”—Rick went on—“I looked through some of Sean’s photo albums and saw quite a few pictures of you. In about half of
them, there was this pretty blonde in the background. A human, according to Sean. I can’t quite remember her name, but I noticed your body language around her. You were always either between her and the other males of your pack or you were angled toward her, even if you weren’t looking at her. Seemed pretty obvious to me she was yours.”
Nic gripped the phone tighter and fought to keep his breathing even. He thought he’d been so careful around Riley to avoid giving away their involvement. “There’s only one human female in our pack. She’s a sweet girl. My age. I’m protective of her. Always have been.”
“That I can believe. She is a pretty little thing, but that doesn’t explain…” Rick’s statement trailed off.
Nic’s instincts flared. Here was the point Rick was trying to make, and if he had to lead into it, then it was going to be bad. “Explain what?”
“Why your little human has never been seen in anything but a turtleneck shirt or a scarf.”
Curses whipped through Nic’s head. He’d always been worried that the lengths she had to go to in order to hide his bite would give Riley away, but whenever he’d called home to check on Riley, nobody ever mentioned it. Nic had even asked Sean point blank if people suspected anything. Sean had said, no.
Unless Sean lied. Why would he, though?
“I have no idea why Riley wears the clothes she does. It’s none of my business.”
“Stop lying to me.” Rick’s tone hardened. “You tried to mate her and either wised up or couldn’t do it, so you ran. That’s the truth, and if you think I’m the only one who’s figured it out, you’re a fool.”
“Stop questioning me. You’re my friend, but—”
“You’re right. I am your friend, and I’m warning you to either commit to your pack one hundred percent or pack up that pretty human of yours and hightail it out of there. You know as well as I do that Riley will become a target, and you’ll be faced with challenge after challenge until you prove yourself as devoted to the pack, not to some human whose only tie to the pack is in name only.”
“I am devoted to my pack, and I will make the right choice for them.”
“Good.” Relief tinged Rick’s voice. “I’m a little protective of your pack because of Jenna. My mate loved her. Made me promise to look out for her.”
Rick’s mate had died in childbirth because Michael Tanner had forbidden her to go to a doctor or midwife when her labor had stalled. Her death left Rick bitter and angry. Nic couldn’t blame him. After hearing his story, Nic hated the Tanners more than he already had despised them. “I know you’re protective of Jenna, which is why I called. I need information on what’s going on in the Tanner pack. We have one of their pack protectors in our hospital. He was tortured. I can’t help but wonder why.”
Rick snorted. “Michael Tanner is batshit crazy. Who knows why he tortured him. Could be anything.”
That didn’t help. He needed answers. “Have you heard of anything going down there?”
“Same stuff. Nothing to suggest why he’d target a protector. Michael’s focus is on picking off the weaker members of the pack, making their deaths look like an accident. Maybe the one in your hospital refused to eliminate someone Michael designated expendable.” Rick sighed. “Honestly, your best bet is to talk to the male. Maybe offer him immunity.”
“Yeah, I will when he wakes. He was in bad shape.”
“You need me to come up there?”
Nic glanced in the direction of where Ben’s body had been laid to rest on the outskirts of their burial grounds. “No. I want you to get yourself together and rejoin Shifter Affairs. Ben was murdered a couple of nights ago.”
“How?” Rick growled the word.
“Shot.” Nic fought to keep his anger under control. It wouldn’t help. “My gut says the Tanners took him out. I can’t prove it, though.”
“Did you call Shifter Affairs?”
“No. I called you. They wouldn’t have done more than file a report. They’re understaffed, and an immature beta’s death isn’t going to grab the attention of the agents for longer than it takes to stamp his file as closed.”
Rick cursed. “My mate loved her family. That’s why I still associate with that screwed-up pack she came from.”
“So you’ll find his killer?”
“You know that’s nearly impossible. Shifter-related crimes need to be investigated immediately. The trails go cold fast.”
“Then be ready for the next one.” Because Nic had a feeling that peace between the Kagans and the Tanners was a long way off, especially once Derek Tanner failed in his pathetic attempt to take over Nic’s pack. If it came to a challenge, Nic would crush Derek without breaking a sweat.
Silence stretched. Nic waited while Rick wrestled with his conscious. Rick had sworn he’d never rejoin Shifter Affairs. Something had happened that made him want to cut his ties with the group that acted as the liaison between human law enforcement and the Shifter Council, but he’d never talked about it. Since Nic had his own secrets, he hadn’t pushed the issue.
“I’ve got fences to mend before I can.”
“Yeah? What kind?”
“Broke a human girl’s heart. Now she’s mated to a Royal who lives near you. Might be risking my life by coming down your way.”
Curiosity spiked. Nic wanted to ask for more details. It was none of his business, though. “And then?”
“Then I’ll relocate to the closest agency to Hollow’s Grove.”
“Good. Keep me updated, but if you call over the next few days, you’re going to miss me. I got invited to visit the Shifter Council. They want to meet the next alpha of the Kagan pack.”
“Hey, Nic?”
“What?”
“Want some advice from an old man?”
“You’re barely two hundred. For a shifter, that’s nothing.”
“I don’t need you to soothe my ego. My soul’s old.” Rick’s sigh carried over the line. “So you want some advice or not?”
“Sure.”
“Choose duty, not love. An empty heart is better than a broken one. Your pack can fill the void, but they can’t mend the scar left behind when you lose the love of your life to your own bad choices.” Rick ended the call.
Nic slid the phone back into his pocket. A sense of unease and trepidation settled over him. He wasn’t quite certain what part of the conversation had caused the disturbing sensation—the fact that if Rick could guess Riley’s importance to Nic, others would too, or Rick’s advice about choosing an empty heart over a broken one. Both held a spark of truth.
Chapter 11
Hands wrapped around a steaming cup of coffee, Riley sat in her basement office the following morning. She’d worked for hours on the shifter who’d showed up at her hospital door. The extent of his injuries became apparent as soon as his clothing had been removed. The number of arteries nicked would’ve guaranteed a weaker shifter’s death. As it was, he’d barely survived the blood loss.
She blinked hard to bring the computer screen into focus. The notes she’d made on the shifter’s condition blurred the longer she stared at it. She was bone-tired, but the necessities of her job demanded she go through the motions she’d implemented at her clinic. Critical data might be missed if she didn’t capture her memories immediately following an incident.
After a couple of clicks to double-check his medication dosage, she was ready to call it a night. Or day. Or whatever. Sleep, that was what she needed. The couch behind her was calling her name. As much as she wished she could go home and crawl into her own bed, she could barely keep her eyes open. No way would she be able to drive. Besides, she didn’t have anyone to relieve her. Today was supposed to have been Jenna’s shift.
A thump from the hallway caught her attention. She froze. Her gaze darted to the closed door, and her heart rate kicked into high gear, wiping away the drowsiness and leaving her alert. Chris had left over three hours ago after helping her with the Tanner wolf. Nobody else should’ve been inside the hospital.
Her hands trembled, but she managed to put the cup down without sloshing the hot liquid over the side. She cocked her head and listened. No other sounds reached her ears. She might’ve imagined it but couldn’t take the chance.
The memory of Nic’s dad trying to get out of his bed yesterday came back to her. He’d been walking some, but never without the help of the rolling IV stand. He used it in place of a cane. According to him, a shifter shouldn’t need any assistance walking. The truth was, though, he was still incredibly weak. She suspected the loss of his shifting ability caused it. As the days dragged on, his metabolism had been decreasing too. She’d had to adjust not only the amount of food she made for him, but his medicine as well.
Worry gripped her. The few times she’d been in to check on him over the night, he’d been sleeping. If he decided to get up and fell? The thought took hold. She stood and made her way to the door. The corridor stood empty, but a squeak of a cart’s wheels echoed in the space. She rushed forward.
At the split in the hallways, she turned right. Four patient rooms lined one corridor. She scanned them. The three empty ones stood open. The one Nic’s dad occupied remained closed and secured. The sight gave her some comfort. She hurried to it anyway. Just because he didn’t leave the room didn’t mean he hadn’t fallen.
She punched in the entry code and opened the door. The soft sounds of snoring reached her. Nic’s dad was asleep. He hadn’t woken any of the times she’d entered the room. The knowledge bothered her. Without his wolf on alert, he was only a man, one with a fragmented soul. The lost connection to both his wolf and the spirit wolf had scarred him.