by Mimi Barbour
“No problem. Go on.” His one-sider mocked her.
“You have to agree, it’s more than time for me to make some life changes. This morning I made up my mind.” She gulped and leapt, no turning back. “I’m quitting the day-care. And if the Human Resource Manager’s position is still available with Hugo Montaro’s company, then I’m going to take it. Remember how I told you he’s been after me for weeks? I’ve thought it through very carefully, went over all my options, and I’ve decided. I want it. Running his Personnel Department is an upper management position. If his bribes are anything to go by, the wages will be generous.”
Tyler sank down on the nearest red bar stool, and stared at her. He shook his head as if to clear it. “You’re doing what?” The loudness of his voice hinted at his confusion. “You never took his offer seriously? You love your job, and you care about those kids. How can you leave them?”
For a split second she wrung her hands and chewed at her lipgloss. When a mystical strengthening in her back reminded her of her earlier pledge, she stopped that nonsense and squared her shoulders.
“Tyler I have to do this. I’m twenty-nine, and I’ve lived like a nun. I have no close friends except for you, my computer, and my TV. I never go anywhere other than to visit the folks twice a year, and that’s about as stimulating as—as my job’s been lately.” She started to pace.
“Hold it. We go out together lots. What about our dinners, and movie nights, and all the fun mornings we’ve spent garage-sale-ing.” The last reference was a dig at her love of bargains to fix up her place. He grabbed her arms to hold her in front of him. His hurt, reproachful look squeezed Annie’s soft heart, but she wouldn’t soften. “We’ve renovated our apartments together....” She made her eyes harden, and the total lack of expression on her face probably stopped him from continuing.
“Good times, yes, but not too exciting.”
“Oh, Annie, I—“
“Tyler!” Her hand shot out and pushed in his direction. “Listen, don’t talk, or I’ll never be able to explain.”
“I’m listening.” His voice lowered, sounding like a groan.
“I want to get out more and have some fun—go to parties, and have occasionally dates, maybe even find a boyfriend who’ll....”
The look on Tyler’s face made her reconsider this line and try another.
“Okay, look! Other than my job, our friendship, and periodically helping you out with the runaways, my life is empty. I need to grow up and do something different. I want to meet new people, have new experiences. I want…more.”
Wailing the final word, Annie plunked down on the red-cushioned barstool next to Tyler’s.
He stared at her, his expression grim, but other than shaking his head back and forth, he said nothing. She sensed that words trembled on his lips, but he bit them back, and she relaxed. If he tried to talk her out of her plans, she didn’t know if she had the strength to fight him.
“Tell me you understand. Please, Tyler, I need for you to help me do this.” Grabbing his hand in both of hers, she held on tight. Concentrating all her energy, she willed him to see her new needs.
He shot up. All six feet two inches of buff maleness paced up and down the small space. Jeans, worn snug and low, showed off his lankiness, his great buns, and his muscular legs. He moved with a hip-swaying motion that was eye-catching, sexy, and very much Tyler. A black golf shirt clung to his well-stocked upper frame, and set off his tan. Her hungry eyes trailed his movements, never shifting. The light caught the tiny diamond stud in his ear that some of the teens had gotten together to buy for his last birthday. Being Tyler, he hadn’t the heart to refuse to wear it, and it had taken him months to get used to the trinket. She loved it, because she knew the kids bought it to represent their admiration for a man who’d support them through anything.
His hands fiddled with the jean pockets as he slid them in and out. Finally, he hovered in front of her and leaned in. “Tell me again how this Hugo Montaro fellow knew you’d be qualified to work with him. I’ve never understood what happened there.”
“I guess I didn’t explain very well, since at the time I hadn’t considered taking him up on his offer. One of the moms from the daycare — I used to know her in college — blabbed to him about me somewhat.” She felt the blush start, and she lowered her face.
“And?”
“I’d aced the psychology masters program we’d both taken, won the top awards for the year, and received all the honors. As my competition, she tends to brag about how close she came to beating me. The extra management courses I’d taken to pass time came up also. Then Hugo picked her brain about our various degrees and started teasing me from then on. Tyler, I’m serious about wanting your support. Please say you’ll stand by me.” Her hand tugged his out of his pocket, and she interlaced their fingers. Considering she very seldom touched him, she felt his shock at her boldness, but she had to make him understand. Her eyes beseeched. She fought for her life here—or at least for her future.
“I guess I didn’t realized how unhappy you were.” Tyler stood in front of her; their gazes interlocked, and then he angled his thumb toward his chest. “What about me, Annie? Where do I fit into this new scheme of yours?”
A man who cared about the abused, the wasted souls, who worked to help them every day, wasn’t a person to throw away lightly. His companionship happened to be the best thing in her life, and she valued it more than anything else. Trying to show him her sincerity by being as earnest as she knew how, she answered, “You’re my best friend, Ty. That will never change.”
Chapter Three
Tyler stared down into her luminous baby-blues, and as her words filtered through, they took him from stunned to angry. She’d ruin everything! She wanted boyfriends, this girl who under most circumstances couldn’t even look a man in the eye. Hurt is what she’d get, and that thought brought more waves of anger pummeling his defenses. His rage seemed all out of proportion to the circumstances, but it festered.
He tried again. “Have you considered your decision from all angles? There’s so much at stake here.” Tyler fretted. Everything he knew about the tiny sprite in front of him said she’d regret this choice. Her huge heart, easily taken advantage of, left her vulnerable. He’d seen it over and over again. She’d been safe, employed with children. Every bit she’d given them had been returned tenfold, but adults were different. The toxic world of big business scared him silly. To think she’d be forced to compete in that environment had his head throbbing.
Prior to asking Annie for her help with some of the homeless girls he counseled, Tyler always pondered long and hard. Protecting Annie had to be his main concern. He knew when his pal Annie cared she gave her all, and once she took the street kids in, she never wanted to let them go. As it was, many of the girls still visited her periodically, keeping in touch, because they knew Annie worried about them. She had a unique way of making them feel special.
Under normal circumstances, he’d arrange a group home or a foster place to shelter the adolescents, but there were many days when the system failed. Helping out the fellows with a bed for a night or two at his place accomplished a short-term solution, but the under-aged street girls, the ones who searched him out for help, were altogether a different matter. Hanging out in his apartment wouldn’t be kosher or tolerated.
During those times he’d discovered he could count on Annie for assistance. Mind you, if the bosses ever found out about this personal involvement, it could mean the end of his career. But occasionally a kid was special enough for him to put himself out there, and he had the rare ability to single them from the rest. Those were the teens he took a chance for. “The Keepers” he called them.
Annie approached him again and interrupted his musings. “Tyler, trust me. For years I’ve coasted, letting life drag me where it wanted. Growing up has to happen to us all, it’s nature’s way, and now it’s happening to me. I’m perched on the edge of my nest, and I just need you to give me a little
push, to—to let me fly.”
“I never realized you were this unhappy. How did I miss it?” His hands rose to slide through his hair, fingers combing it from front to back. He grasped the mass on his neck and yanked, liking the pain. It went with this situation.
“You did help me, Tyler. A lot. But frankly, I need more. I have so many plans.” She tilted her head and stared at him in a manner she never had before. Her beautiful eyes fixed on his with such intensity that he bit down hard on his molars and proceeded to grind. Silence settled loudly over the room.
Finally, he probed. “What kind of plans, Smidge?”
Wispy, fringe-like tendrils framed a petite face where her eyes reigned supreme. Eyes a makeup manufacturer dreamed of discovering, and hers were purely nature’s design. Dark blue, no paleness there at all. Deep, dark sapphire, with sparks of tiny lights bringing them to life. He looked intently into them, and a chill crept over him. Annie had begun to change already. A stranger stared back.
“First of all, quit calling me Smidge and Midget and—and Runt all the time. From now on I want you to call me by my real name, Anna—no more Annie. If I’m going to change myself, I might as well dump that childish nickname, too. Right?”
“What? Give me a break! I happen to like your name. It’s endearing.” Stunned, the word ‘no’ reverberated through him. What the hell was going on? He clung desperately to the essence of his familiar and much loved pal. He repeated, “I like Annie.”
“Anna will better suit the woman I want to become.”
She looked directly into eyes. Her expression was not compliant. A slight coldness could be seen in her gaze, a sight never observed there before.
“But—?”
“Not negotiable.” She stared him down.
“Fine, if it’s that important to you, but don’t get mad at me if I forget once in a while. It’ll take some getting used to.”
Hating the animosity between them, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and side-hugged her to him, not something he did very often. But it felt like he was losing her, and it scared the heck out of him. This time, her soft and curvy body unexpectedly lit up his sensory circuits. What the hell? This was Annie. His body should know better. A thought entered and wouldn’t be extinguished. Seems some of my male circuits have a mind of their own.
Before he could stop her, she moved. No! She jerked away. And she hurt his feelings. He dropped his hands and stuck them into his pockets to cover up any embarrassment.
“Don’t try to stop me, Tyler. The choice has been made. No hashing it over. My life, my decision.”
“Annie…” Her frown stopped him, but he refused to use her new title. It would be like supporting her in this madness. “What instigated this—this situation today? What happened?”
“I woke up this morning hating myself, and I decided it was the last day I wanted to feel like that without doing something about it.”
“Good Lord, everyone has those days.”
“Not years full of them! Tyler, your enthusiasm is under-whelming. Be happy for me, please. Don’t try to analyze me; I have more qualifications along those lines than you do.”
Silence reigned until he ended it. “Nice shot—Anna!” In a matter of minutes, she’d altered into a strange creature he didn’t even recognize. Never had he heard Annie speak with so little thought to the hurt her words could produce.
“You’d prefer I didn’t change. You want me to stay the same. Admit it.” Her husky voice broke into his irritation.
“What’s wrong with that? I happen to like you exactly the way you are. Spending our weekends together is something I look forward to. I enjoy our walks, and lunches, and especially going to the movies, and—and shopping.” His eyes flashed indignation, and his hand emphasized each point by slashing through the air. “If you’d just let me explain something to you, Annie—”
“Anna!”
“No! Annie! I need to tell you about how painful it can be out there.”
“I know you’ve had bad experiences, Ty. That you’ve shut down your expectations, your future, but I need to try to live mine. Give me a chance, my friend. That’s all I ask. Support me, please.”
His professional instincts overrode his personal needs and stopped his tirade. He sighed deeply. Walking away from her, he thought about what she’d said. Maybe the best thing he could do for her was to let her grow up, as she so succinctly put it. Let her learn the lessons romance had taught him. He’d stay on the sidelines. He’d keep his predictions and warnings to himself, and he’d watch and wait.
But every red-blooded male hormone in his taut body urged him on. He went back to her and stopped. “Annie, I’m your best buddy, and I adore you and your overly large caring heart. Please don’t change too much.”
He scooped her close, picking her right up off the floor. When he perused her features, his eyes were unusually serious. Dangling, she would have fallen if not for his arms. He hesitated, waiting to see if she’d pull away, which left her body wriggling against his for far too long, and calling “hello” to every cell in his over-sensitized skin. His trembling surprised him. He hadn’t experienced that kind of reaction to a female since being a horny teenager. He stared at her mouth and growled. He’d intended his caress to be a lighthearted expression of his affections. It changed the minute their bodies touched.
Intent must have flashed in his eyes. When she froze, he kissed her, not in the brotherly or friendly way he’d meant to, but the way a man kisses the woman he wants. While she gasped with surprise, he thrust his tongue between her soft lips, prying them open wider, and then he invaded. Her response lifted his spirits and gave him hope. She tasted him, her tongue darting forward, caressing his with a tiny, affectionate lick. Then, her body melted into him, clinging for long seconds. His groan must have scared her. She broke away and pushed on his shoulders.
“Tyler, stop it. Why are you doing this?” Her trembling hand covered her lips.
His eyes narrowed. He stared at the little lady in front of him, into those big, worried eyes, and felt the lust die.Damn, she was right. He had no business upsetting her. What the hell had gotten into him? He loosened his grip and gently lowered her to the floor.
From the first day he’d met her, he’d sensed an emotional changeling in flux. His own past experiences had soured him on the whole love-relationship thing, and he no more wanted to have another girlfriend than to get a skin-eating disease. Being buddies with Annie had fitted perfectly into his chosen lifestyle. He didn’t want anything to change. But that was his problem, not hers. His demons were his own to fight. Besides, his last relationship still had him questioning his abilities as a mate and a lover for any woman. Best not push his luck.
“Okay, Anna, how can I help?” He stood in front of her with his hands on his hips and his feet spread. He smiled. Not his unique smile, but tender nonetheless.
Her eyes misted. “Thank you, Ty. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”
Tyler recognized that their friendship had passed a huge hurdle. “Hey, we’re buds, aren’t we?”
She beamed her relief. Such a little worrywart. Then she nodded her head.
He chuckled. “Anything I can help you with, it’s yours. Car rides, advice—friendly sex?”
Chapter Four
All weekend, she’d replayed the scene with Tyler. Why had he kissed her? He was angry; she got that, but why? In the end, he’d reverted back to his old familiar self, but for a short while he’d scared her. Years ago, she’d given up on even pretending she could be sexually involved with a man. But lately, sensual yearnings she’d learned to control haunted her and made her wonder if she shouldn’t give normality a try. What woman didn’t want to be a wife and a mother one day?
Monday morning, getting ready for the daycare became a major battle with a mocking, unseen presence. Every one of the outfits she normally wore got vetoed. Her overly casual clothes, strewn in every direction, indicated how few items in her closet would be appropriate for whe
n she eventually became employed in a sophisticated office. The baggy style she’d stuck to for years concealed her body, and when a person strives to go unnoticed in the world, the tomboy look does the job. It isn’t chic, but it is safe.
“Didn’t anyone ever explain to you that a body such as yours warrants feminine clothes?”
“A compliment? You must be in a good mood.” Annie had given up talking to Celi out loud when it was simpler and a lot less weird communicating in her mind.
“Don’t push it. I’m just sayin’.”
“You must be the strangest angel in heaven. Just my luck to get a maverick.”
“Hey! I’m an Angel, First Class. Count yourself lucky.”
“Now I know you’re kidding. I watch ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ every Christmas, as you know very well. Celi?”
Finally, settling on a pair of snug jeans she seldom wore, she wrestled over the choice of her top. Her new white blouse hung from one hand and the safer, often worn T-shirt fluttered from the other. She faced the mirror and waffled.
“Why did I ever buy this silly ruffled thing?” she grumbled.
“Because it’s pretty and modern, so wear the darn thing already.” Celi popped to life in her favorite stance at the end of the unmade bed.
“Why don’t you have any wings? I’ve wondered about that.”
“They’re at the drycleaners. Look, quit stalling and get dressed.”
“Why don’t you talk like other people? I can hear your words in my mind, but your lips don’t move.”
“Why, why, why. You’re worse than a child.”
Annie stopped what she was doing, stuck her hand on her hip, and glared at the diaphanous form.
“ Fine. It takes enough energy to appear, why waste more speaking when I don’t have to?”
“It’s very disconcerting.”
“Quit stalling and put the blouse on.”