by Mimi Barbour
Lea’s eyes blazed her indignation and her shame, but mostly her fear. Tears again poured as if they’d stockpiled for a long, long time. Spittle gathered at the sides of her parched-looking lips, and mucus hung from her nose.
Annie snatched a tissue and gently urged it into Lea’s empty hand, then waited while the teen mopped up her poor, marked face.
“How did you lose him this time?”
“Now that he’s progressed to harder drugs, he gets so stoned that he passes out cold. I just left. But he’ll come after me, and when he finds me—and he will—he’ll make me pay for leaving.”
“Look, let’s go to the police with this information. They’ll put him under arrest. That way you’ll be rid of him once and for all. Please, Lea. I promise, Tyler and I will stick with you, protect you.”
“I can’t. I just can’t. You don’t realize what you’re saying. He’s part of a drug gang. They have lawyers, and they’ll pay whatever amount of bail the judge sets. He’ll be released by the next day. With no priors, being arresting for possession won’t be enough for the cops to keep him in jail.”
“Tyler’s cousin is on the force. Maybe we can get his help.” They both glanced at the quiet man sitting, watching them, but he shook his head sadly.
“Bill’s on holidays for the next couple of weeks, and he wouldn’t thank me for calling him out now, since this is the first break he’s had for years.”
“Okay then,” Annie said. “We’ll hide you. We’ll send you someplace where he can’t find you. Groups that help abused people in your situation are just a phone call away. We can go to them. Tyler, it’s done, isn’t it?”
“I can’t legally condone doing that because she’s still a minor, and I’m supposed to put her into the system. But Lea, if it’s what you decide, I’ll make a few calls for you, and see what we can find out. Though I have to warn you, little one, make damn sure you’re serious and that you intend to leave him.”
Lea looked at Tyler, intense vulnerability clear on her face. He saw her expression change and brighten drastically. Faith in Tyler and a new-found hope mushroomed and reflected on her features.
“I have no choice, Tyler. Either I leave or I’ll die. Pretty simple! And I don’t want to die before I’ve even begun to live. I yearn for a chance at the good life, to exist the same as you and Annie—without fear.” Her hands, unconsciously placed over her heart, reinforced the truth of her words. “Some days I walk in the streets, follow the pretty girls, the normal ones, and watch where they’re going, which places they have jobs. I yearn to be them so bad, it’s sickening.”
“Anyone can look like everybody else on the outside, honey. It’s your inside that needs fixing. You need help to deal with what you’ve gone through, with the bad memories, and your self-confidence. But it’s doable. Trust me, Lea.” Tyler slipped diligently into his counselor role as if born into the noble profession.
Lea continued. Now that she’d started, there was no stopping her cleansing harangue. “And—this is really important. I’ve made up my mind. I want to help others like you do, Tyler. I saw a girl on the street this morning. Hell, she couldn’t have been more than thirteen, a baby, a victim waiting to happen. I wished I could protect her, help her, do something, but I have nothing myself. After that, all I thought about was coming here.”
Her voice cracked first, then her face. Tears again gushed out so fast and hard that breathing took second place to emotion until the next breath had to happen. And when it did, the wail that accompanied it—the sound a tortured soul makes when the limit has been reached—had Annie swallowing and blinking furiously until she bit down on the inside of her mouth.
Tyler willingly sat back, leaving Annie in charge. She waited. Lea’s tears were healing tears, and important. Eventually, she grabbed the weeping girl, turned her so they were facing each other, and shook her.
“Enough! Dry your eyes, Lea. From now on we’re talking faith, confidence, and absolute conviction in the plan. No more weak martyr mentality, okay?”
“Okay!” Lea sniffled and grabbed for another tissue, at the same time nodding her head in affirmation. “You’re right!”
Tyler, seeing the exhaustion on both female faces, interrupted with a great idea. “Taxi time, then din-dins, girls. What do you say we take a break? Let’s blow this joint.”
Him and his old movies! Annie flashed him a secret grimace just so he knew she was onto him.
She turned to the teen, saw Lea’s budding smile, and witnessed a complete transformation from pain to pleasure. Hope wrote its own message in her eyes, and it was a sight for Annie to celebrate. Anxiety, which had clutched Annie’s insides after she’d first seen the girl, waned, totally overtaken by pride and affection.
“Let’s go and fix up a bit, and by the time we’re ready, our ride will be here.” Annie grabbed her purse, prompted Lea to her feet, and led her to the bathroom. As they moved through the apartment that used to be as familiar to her as her own, she saw many changes had taken place. Tyler had gone ahead and renovated his home without her, and from the look of things, he’d done a great job.
She bit her lip and slammed the bathroom door closed. It amazed her that she felt this hurt. So what if he hadn’t asked for her help? Then she remembered. He had asked and she’d been too busy.
Shaking off her snit, Annie found some cosmetics and a brush in her large handbag. She put them on the counter in front of Lea, who was scrubbing at her blotchy face. Tyler’s shampoo came in handy also, as Lea efficiently washed her hair and they both dried it as much as possible with the huge, brown towel. When Annie watched the girl in the mirror take off her grubby jacket and bend over the washbasin, she saw her thinness clearly. She also noticed the bruises on her arms, some old, many new. As Lea angled her body to put on lipstick, her cropped T-shirt rode up, and Annie noticed the cutest tattoo of an angel on the girl’s left hip just below the waist of her low-riding jeans. A fleeting grin appeared on Annie’s face because it was something she’d always wanted to have done but had never gotten up the nerve. Maybe on her next day off.... She snickered softly. Yeah! Right! An oxymoron if she ever heard one.
When they arrived at the pizza place, it wasn’t very busy. Dominic greeted them with his customary enthusiasm, and after being introduced to Lea, he treated her to a flirtatious side hug. It was over so quickly she didn’t have time to repulse him, even if she’d wished to.
That they were there later in the evening allowed him to spend longer than his usual few minutes at their table chatting them up. Annie deduced it wasn’t herself or Tyler who drew him. He had eyes only for Lea. And he worked very hard to bring her to life, to attract her attention so she’d open up, relax, and enjoy herself. From the moment they left Tyler’s apartment, she had slipped into her shell and couldn’t be cajoled out by either Tyler or Annie. Her eyes were in constant motion, on the lookout for danger.
Dominic teased and charmed the girl until he soon had her giggling and talking the same as any other happy teenager. Eagerness and smiles lessened her earlier frail appearance, and the added element of being treated with respect made her glow.
“Hey, Lea, which school you go to? I bet you have to beat the dudes off with a stick.”
“I’m not in school,” she answered. The sadness in her tone focused everyone’s attention on her. She blushed. “Not right now, but I’m hoping to get my high school diploma one day.”
“So! You want a job? This place rocks most nights, and the losers that apply don’t have a clue. I need to find me a heart-stopper, like you, who’ll bring the crowds in.”
“You’re kidding me? I’ve never waitressed before in my life, but I have worked in a kitchen. Not a pizza parlor, just a café kinda place.”
“Okay then. You ever need a job? You know where to come.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
As the two yakked and joked, Tyler sprawled in the corner and watched with a satisfied grin on his face.
But Annie, watchi
ng Lea, had an altogether different reaction. Her mind regressed to a time where ugly, sad memories awaited her. For some reason, tonight, Lea’s presence sparked normally forbidden thoughts. Mostly, Annie would do anything to fight them off, but this evening’s tiredness yielded control. She sank into the past, reliving it. The visions refused to be denied. Images spiraled of another girl who looked very similar to Lea, and another time. A horrible time.
Annie, an innocent seventeen-year-old on the cusp from adolescence to womanhood, had recently begun to experience newly awakened visions of love and romance, which filled her thoughts most of the time. She yearned for exciting friends and fun. Boys caught her eye, and she searched for the special “one,” the potential partner in her quest to be like the other girls, lose her virginity, and be popular. In her case, since she’d only hung with the other shy, withdrawn bookworms, it would be difficult. But anything wanted badly enough was doable. She’d gone as far as making it her New Year’s resolution.
Males were an enigma she desperately wanted to explore, but not just any guy would do. No losers and no studs. The fellow she sought had to have more redeeming features than just a penis and a deep voice. She’d take her time to make the right choice. Even in those days Annie’s pesky conscience played a big role in her day-to-day activities.
Plus, her mom kept her on a tight leash. Desperation to be an ordinary teenager doing what the other girls did forced her to take chances and push the envelope. Parties and hanging out were officially out of the question, but there were techniques to get around those restrictions, and Annie started to become pretty good at telling lies and ignoring boundaries.
About that time, a girl moved into their apartment building, a young woman actually, in her early twenties. New to the city, and friendless, she’d nonetheless promised to baby-sit her aunt’s place for a year. She craved a pal as much as Annie, so it wasn’t such a miracle that when they met in the elevator they immediately zeroed in on each other’s loneliness and isolation.
Every spare minute Annie could sneak out she spent with her new friend, Violet. Because of Annie’s upbringing, she didn’t act the same as most giggle-pusses her own age. She was more comfortable with the older crowd, and her behavior proved it. The two girls hit it off from the get-go.
Violet, a farm girl from South Dakota, exploited Annie’s eagerness to show off the city’s attractions, and Annie, playing the role of gracious guide, didn’t mind a bit. She loved the attention, truth be told.
Violet’s rustic past in no way interfered with her outstanding ability as a dancer. Her body flowed like liquid mercury, and every step she made as she extended her limbs with graceful genius elicited pure joy. In her first week in the city, in fact in her initial audition, a producer on Broadway snapped her up. A girl with no real quality or formal training, other than a few rural teachers who took an interest in her development, rationalized low expectations while cherishing high hopes. Seems her endless hours of practice had paid off. She floated on a cloud of contentment and radiated sunshine.
Annie’s days as Violet’s escort became full of stimulating adventures. She stepped out of her shell, vibrating with youthful enthusiasm and cool ideas. Meanwhile, Violet influenced Annie to take better care with her looks and her dress code, and to upgrade her closet. Many happy hours were spent together shopping; blowing the hoarded allowance Annie’s parents had given her over the years. She’d just shoved it into her bank account with no interest whatsoever in spending it. Why bother, when her mom vetoed any article of trendy clothing she’d periodically buy anyway.
Her closet was filled with old-fashioned clothes she hated but had no idea how to replace. Violet demonstrated flair and patience, and soon found articles for Annie to purchase that were modern, attractive to any age, and passed her mother’s inspection. As the weeks flew by, Annie changed. Everything from hairstyles to makeup, from building her self-image to her treatment of the opposite sex warranted discussion and suggestions from her new best friend.
Her budding confidence grew rapidly and tended to attract the fellows around her. She acted more poised, became increasingly popular, and, for the first time since she could remember, she lost her self-doubts. Gladness filled her so full there were no empty spaces, and no room for anything but confidence and merriment.
On the Day of Nightmares, specific plans had been made for the girls to go to Annie’s favorite restaurant for some great Asian fare. Then on to a Broadway play they’d both chosen as the best one to see. Annie, happy the school week had ended on a high note, and full of TGIF gladness, rushed down the hallway of their apartment building. She couldn’t help grinning, bursting to tell Violet about her upcoming date for the next night with Ryan Horne, a hunk she’d had her eyes on since the beginning of the semester. His putting the hit on her upped her allure to a point where the girls who usually snubbed her instead asked her to hang with them for lunch. She couldn’t wait to share this juicy tidbit with her best friend.
When she got close to Violet’s door, she first heard a wail, a crash, and then a muffled sob. Other strange noises filtered through that made the hairs on her body uncurl and rise stiffly. She dropped her sweater, her backpack filled with student junk, and an armload of notebooks. They broke apart, papers scattering in every direction.
Intuition drove her. She needed to get into that apartment. She twisted the locked doorknob, banged hard with both hands, and yelled for Violet to open up, instinct warning that her friend needed help.
Grunts, groans, and slap sounds followed by thumps, as if a person was being shoved and hit, scared the hell out of Annie. Gut spasms and frantic nerves pushed her past rational behavior as she continued to beat on the hard wooden surface of the closed door.
“Violet, it’s me, Annie. Open up! What’s going on in there?”
A sick malicious laugh, a man’s laugh, clearly emerged. That did it! She scrambled up the corridor shouting for help, banging on closed doors, and begging for someone to phone 911. Knowing the elderly couple peeking out to see about the kerfuffle would make the call; she headed back to where her best friend suffered.
The horrific scream that reverberated out into the passage curdled the blood pumping violently through Annie’s shocked system. It impelled her to hurry. Like a wild person, she skidded to the floor. Tears flooded down her face and nausea gathered, threatening to spill over. She gagged and had to cough it away.
Female moans and cries interspersed with a male grunting indecipherable mumblings riveted Annie to the door. Again, she banged and pleaded, adding to the mayhem. Her wet face plastered itself against the frame. Energy molecules, full of pain and terror, were released on one side of the wall and traveled through the barrier straight into Annie’s heart, causing her to suffer right along with Violet. The attacker’s disgusting slurs burned into her consciousness, into her potential—a defining moment changing the course of her life forever.
“Stop that, you sick bastard! Let her go!” Annie threatened, begged, and threatened again—over and over. “We called the cops. Stop it. Oh God, please! Please! Leave—her—alone!”
Each plea was screamed louder than the one before until her voice broke from the strain. She smashed at the door and didn’t see the detailing ridges coated with her blood.
Wailing sirens signaled help had arrived. Within minutes a female officer dragged the hysterical girl away so the others could gain access. Using a ramming device, they broke in the front at the same time as the brutal devil fled down the fire escape with several officers in pursuit. They weren’t quick enough to prevent Annie from slithering in as soon as the door gave way, but the vision she saw stopped her cold.
Violet, curled in a fetal position, lay semi-naked, catatonic, and covered with cuts and bruises all over her body. Blood colored the scene ugly. The scent of sex, fear, and sorrow added to the shock-filled atmosphere.
Before Annie could move to her friend, the detective hauled her back, through the smashed-in doorway and into the hallway.
The attack might be finished, but the nightmares—they were just beginning.
Annie never saw Violet again. Rumor was her parents had taken her home after the psych ward released her. At least Violet had had counseling to help deal with the trauma; Annie never did. Her mom, using fear tactics as behavior control, had the perfect pitch to use on her now.
The disgust and terror instilled in Annie that day rooted, grew, and curtailed her newborn enthusiasm for boys and sex, flirting and parties, and all normal teenage pastimes. Celibacy became her road, and the sicko they never caught was her reason.
“Annie, yahoo! Hello? Come back to us, girl. You’re so far away.” Lea’s hand waving in front of her face mercifully shut down the horror.
Annie shook herself. She rubbed her forehead and closed her eyes for a few seconds. Furtively, she wiped at the dampness there. Then she glanced around the table with relief, and said, “Sorry! Crazy memories pop up when I least expect them. Usually I don’t let myself go there.”
“You okay, Annie?” Lea reached to stroke her arm. Then she put her head on Annie’s shoulder in the same manner a beloved dog would do when giving sympathy or affection.
Annie understood that everyone at the table had seen the multitude of expressions crossing her face, but Lea was the one carrying out what they obviously all wanted to do, showing support to a dear friend.
Annie looked to Tyler, entreaty obvious in her expression. He took the hint.
“Dessert! What we need here is some of Dominic’s decadent strawberry shortcake with extra topping. What do you say?”
“I’m in.” Annie spoke first.
“Me too. Why not?” Relief at having her hero return to normal had Lea agreeing without hesitation. She searched and found Annie’s hand under the table. Sympathy offered and received.
***