by Lois Richer
Luc followed, wondering why lately his knees went so rubbery whenever he was close to her. Once he’d set the box down, Holly took over, spreading plastic cloths and directing him as they loaded the table with everything they’d need. A few minutes later he noticed Hilda’s car trailing dust as it headed toward Cool Springs Ranch.
“Okay, let’s get the food.” Holly hooked her arm through his and drew him toward the house. “Isn’t it a perfect evening?” she enthused.
When they returned with food trays, Luc noted that Cade and some of the other men had cut roasting sticks for the wieners. The fire blazed. A moment later he heard Henry yell.
“Hi, Holly. Hi, Luc.” Henry shoved his glasses up on his nose right before Holly threw open her arms and the boy rushed into them.
Holly giggled and laughed as she spun him around in a circle of joy. Then she set him down and said so quietly Luc almost missed it, “Luc’s been waiting for you to arrive, Henry.”
Henry seemed suddenly shy. He stood where he was, staring at Luc who grinned at him and stepped forward.
“Hey, Henry.” The boy held out a hand to shake but Luc needed more than that. As he scooped Henry into his arms, he glanced up and found Holly watching, a wistful look on her face. It seemed as if she should be in the circle with them but suddenly she moved away.
Her voice emerged a little tight as she called everyone to join hands before Mayor Marsha said grace. Somehow Luc ended up with Henry on one side and Holly on the other, her hand clasped in his.
As if it belonged there.
But Luc was pretty sure that wasn’t God’s plan for his life.
Chapter Four
On a balmy June evening, Holly pulled up to her home on Cool Springs Ranch with a sigh of relief.
“Thanks for the safe trip, Lord,” she said after she’d switched off her car. “Sometimes I forget You’re with me all the time, even when I get stuck in past memories.”
Determined that tonight she would not get dragged down to that place of guilt and regret from the past, she climbed out of her jeep then began unpacking the results of her shopping day.
“Can I help?”
Holly squealed in surprise and whirled around, bags flying.
“You scared me half to death, Luc,” she told him with a groan. “What are you doing here so late?” She wrapped her arms around the parcels he handed her and smiled her thanks when he unloaded the rest from her vehicle.
“I had a few spare hours and I thought I’d get started on drywalling your room. You did say to come and work even if you weren’t here,” he reminded.
“I said it and I meant it.” She started toward the house. “It’s just that you mentioned branding the new calves today and I thought you’d be busy with that.”
“Finished before noon.” He grabbed the screen door and held it open for her.
“Thanks.” Unable to corral her packages any longer, Holly let them drop on the dining room table. “You can put those here, too,” she told Luc.
“I’m not sure they’ll all fit. What did you do, buy out the store?” he joked then did a double take at the look on her face. In a hesitant tone, he said, “Holly?”
“I received a phone call last night from my favorite fabric store in Calgary. They were holding a one-day sale today. Fifty per cent off everything.” Her shoulders sagged as she sat down, slid off her shoes and flexed her toes. “So I went. And I bought. A lot.”
“Is that all? I thought maybe something bad had happened.”
“That is bad, Luc,” she moaned. “I overspent. A lot.”
“But you needed this fabric for whatever you’re sewing, right?” He waited for her nod. “So you weren’t wasteful or spending for spending’s sake, right?” He waited for her nod. “So why should it bother you that you got a good deal?”
“I hope this doesn’t come out the wrong way,” she said finally, “but your Sarah was an idiot to let you go. I’ve never heard another man approve a woman’s overspending on shopping.”
“I am truly a man among men,” he said with a grin.
“Now I’ve fed your huge ego.” Holly shook her head then leaned down to rub her foot. “All that shopping has given me an awful cramp in my foot.”
“Neither you nor Sarah has any idea of just how wonderful I am.” He preened. “I happen to know all about foot-itis.”
Luc sounded as if he’d begun to shed some of his hurt over Sarah and she was glad. But when he snagged a chair leg with one foot then drew it near so he could sit in front of her, Holly stared. Then he lifted her foot onto his knee.
“Uh, what are you doing, Luc?” She wiggled her foot, trying to free it.
“Hold still and you’ll find out,” he ordered. When she’d settled he explained. “One of my foster moms used to get terrible leg cramps after a day of work. The first thing she taught me after I moved in was how to help her. Relax, Holly.”
Holly wasn’t sure she could relax with Luc’s strong fingers pressing and kneading her sensitive foot. Every time he touched her it was like a spark shot through her. But after a few moments she had no doubt he knew what he was doing. She closed her eyes and let him work the kinks out of her toes. She’d almost drifted off when he gently set her feet on the floor.
“Better?” he asked quietly.
“Much,” Holly breathed. She blinked her eyes open and smiled at him. “Give me your foster mother’s name. I want to send her flowers. Maybe Sarah, too. Her loss is my gain.”
Luc chuckled, his dark eyes bright with laughter. “I’d better put away my tools and get out of your hair. Then you can admire your purchases.”
“Do you ever just go out and splurge, Luc?” Holly asked, unable to contain her curiosity.
“I splurged when I bought my ranch,” he said thoughtfully. “I’ll be paying for that for a while. I need to set aside money to raise Henry, too, so I can’t afford too many splurges.” He walked toward the spare room. “But if I did, the last thing I’d buy would be frilly fabric.”
“Ha-ha. Did you eat supper?” Holly could tell from the look on his face that he hadn’t, though he neither confirmed nor denied it. “I have a steak thawing in the fridge. I’ll share it with you in exchange for the foot rub. Deal?”
“Of course I accept.” Luc’s grin stretched across his face. “My foster mothers didn’t raise a dummy.”
She liked the way he was so at ease with his past. A lot of men wouldn’t have been able to accept losing their parents let alone joke about being raised in foster homes. Luc was so comfortable with who he was but then he didn’t have to live up to a whole town’s expectations.
“Give me ten minutes then you can grill the steak on the barbecue,” she promised.
“I’ll finish up what I was doing.” Luc disappeared into the bedroom. Seconds later the sound of a drill echoed through the house.
Holly scooped her purchases into her bedroom closet, changed into her favorite jeans and T-shirt and hurried back to the kitchen. When she’d finished baking the potatoes in the microwave, made a salad and fired up the grill, she went to find Luc.
“I can’t believe you’ve made so much progress.” She surveyed his work from the doorway. “Except for that wall.” She frowned at the unfinished studs.
“That’s the wall where the new outlets will go,” Luc explained. “I’m waiting for the electrician.”
“Oh.” The room looked huge. When it was finished she’d have tons of storage, a functional work area and a great view of the hills through the new window he’d installed. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this, Luc.”
“It’s going to be a good work space,” he said with a nod. “And I’m getting a great exchange with you helping me with Henry.” His eyes twinkled. “I took him for a milkshake after school today as you suggested. With Hilda’s permission,” he added with a wink.
“How’d that go?” Holly’s heart bumped when he flashed his amazing smile at her. He looked handsome and proud and thrilled.
&nbs
p; “Great.” Luc’s smile grew. “Henry’s got a slew of new knock-knock jokes for you.”
“I can hardly wait.” It was obvious he’d enjoyed every moment of his time with Henry. Holly chided herself for feeling envious of the affection he lavished on the boy. She wanted Luc and Henry to bond, so where did that emotion come from? Not willing to search for an answer, she changed the subject. “Time to grill,” she told him.
“My favorite way to cook.”
Holly sat outside on a lawn chair, sipping a cup of the coffee she’d just brewed, while Luc barbecued. Before she’d always been at ease around him, like anyone would be with a good friend. But this evening that comfortable feeling eluded her. She felt the need to fill the silence gaping between them.
“When I stopped in town for gas on the way home I heard that James Cooper is looking for a partner to buy the old McCready homestead.” She didn’t understand his frown. “Buying it would be a way to enlarge your ranch, wouldn’t it? The land adjoins yours.”
Luc flipped the steak like an expert. But then he did most things competently. And he was so easy on the eyes that Holly kept watching him.
“James phoned and offered me a partnership but I turned him down,” Luc said.
“Why? You’re always going on about adding land to your spread.” His refusal perplexed her.
“I want to buy Cool Springs Ranch.” He turned to glance at her. “Not the McCready place.”
“Again, why?”
“The McCready ranch is too rocky for one thing and the low parts are subject to spring flooding,” he explained. “Besides, I want to own my land, not share it. I can wait for yours.”
“But, Luc, I may not be ready to sell Cool Springs for a long time.” Holly was aghast that he would put his plans on hold indefinitely. She felt guilty and somehow responsible for staying here and thereby denying him his dream.
“I know. I’ll wait,” he repeated. “Meantime I’ll save my money, so when you do decide to sell I won’t need a big mortgage.”
Though he tossed her that warm, easy grin, Luc’s words troubled Holly.
“But what if I never sell?” Luc couldn’t just sit and wait for her to leave Cool Springs Ranch because Holly had no plans to do that. Despite the pressure the locals put on her, this was where her friends and neighbors were. This was home.
“You won’t stay here forever, Holly,” Luc said imperturbably.
“I won’t?” She blinked, curious yet hesitant as to why he said that. The warmth in his dark gaze made her feel cherished, protected, as if Luc truly cared about her and her future.
“Holly, it’s obvious despite your denials that you’re meant to be a wife and a mom.”
“I told you—”
Luc stopped her by simply raising his hand. He scanned her from the ribbon that held her hair tied at the top of her head, to the toes of her feet, now snuggled into comfy moccasins. That scrutiny made her skin tingle.
“You love babies and kids, Holly. That’s why you chose the career you did. One day you’ll meet some guy and fall in love with him.” His voice was very quiet. “You’ll get married, move to your husband’s place and I’ll buy Cool Springs from you.”
“I’ve told you. I am not getting married. Ever.” Irritated, she rose, tossed out her coffee into the flower bed and walked through the patio doors.
Two minutes later, Luc followed her with the steak sizzling on the platter she’d left by the barbecue.
“I wasn’t trying to annoy you, Holly. I was just telling you what I believe.” He set the platter on the table then studied her, his head tilted to one side. “Forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive.” She wasn’t going to discuss it anymore so she motioned him to sit down, brought the potatoes from the microwave and carried the salad over. “You want to say grace?”
“Sure.” Luc closed his eyes and bowed his head. “Thank You, Lord, for this day and for Holly’s good food. Bless her and me as we share this meal. Amen.”
He was even comfortable saying grace, Holly mused. Funny that only now after he’d revealed his relationship with Sarah did she truly realize what a remarkable man Luc was—utterly kind and likeable. She cut a small piece of steak for herself and left the rest for him, puzzling over this increasing appreciation of him.
“You’re spending a lot of time on my project,” she said. “I hope it’s not making you ignore other chores?”
“Are you asking me if your foreman—me—is shirking?” The corners of Luc’s eyes creased with his amused grin. “Would I do that after learning how to ranch at your father’s knee?”
“You think Dad didn’t slack?” Holly chuckled. “Maybe you weren’t paying close enough attention. Dad often rushed through his most demanding chores, sometimes left others undone so he could inspect his beehives.”
“I never understood why bees fascinated him,” Luc said thoughtfully.
“Fascinated is the word. He used to say they had secret lives and that only God knew what they did all day.” Holly laughed out loud. “When I was little he’d tell me stories about a character named Benny Bee and how he was buzzy doing God’s will.”
“Buzzy?” Luc smiled. “Now I think of it, Marcus did use the word buzz a lot.”
“Remember he used to tell you to buzz off when he got tired of answering your questions?” She giggled at his sheepish grin.
With Luc across the table, her plain fare tasted delicious. There was a lot to like about sharing a meal with a friend like him. Holly hadn’t realized how much she’d missed sharing relaxed moments like these with her dad. She closed her eyes and let the memories swamp her. When Luc cleared his throat she smiled at him through her tears.
“I miss him.”
“Me, too,” Luc said. He reached out and squeezed her hand. “He loved you very much.”
“I know.” She swallowed the lump in her throat and changed the subject. “As I remember it, Dad also had a lot to say about God’s will.”
“That’s a topic I wish I could quiz him on now.” Replete, Luc leaned back in his chair.
“Oh?” Holly poured them each a cup of coffee as she waited for him to continue.
“I didn’t just work on your room this afternoon,” Luc admitted. “I spent about an hour on the phone with my buddy.”
“Pete, the one whose marriage is breaking up?” she guessed, wincing at the sad look in Luc’s eyes.
“Yes. He hasn’t been a Christian for much longer than I have. He has a lot of questions about God’s will that I can’t answer.” He looked at his hands as if he was embarrassed by his own ignorance. “Learning God’s will is something I’ve also been struggling with. Got any ideas I could use and also share with him?”
“I’m not really good at giving spiritual advice,” Holly said, feeling like that was the understatement of the year. Lately, guilt had almost convinced her she’d failed at being a Christian but she kept up her faith despite the way she’d botched her past. But now she couldn’t ignore the pain in Luc’s words. “I’ve heard lots of sermons about God’s will. If you want to share what’s bothering you I’ll listen. Maybe I’ll remember something that will help you.”
“Thanks.” Luc played with his fork for a few moments before he looked directly at her. “How do I figure out what God’s will is for me, Holly?”
“You don’t ask the easy stuff, do you?” She took her time arranging her thoughts. “I think it depends how you mean the question. If you’re talking generally then God’s will is for you to accept that His son died for you and live as His child.”
“I’m trying to do that every day,” he said with a nod. “But it’s the specific details, what God intends for me personally in my future that I can’t figure out.”
“That is hard to know. I’ve questioned that, too. ‘Does God want me to do this or this?’ It would be nice if there was a bolt of lightning that pointed the way, wouldn’t it?” She sighed. “But I’ve never seen God work that way.”
“Ho
w do you understand His will?” His desperation reached into her heart.
Holly didn’t like revealing details about struggles in her faith journey. It seemed too personal, opened up a part of herself that she’d always kept hidden. And yet, Luc wanted her help. She couldn’t brush him off. She whispered a prayer then inhaled.
“I start by studying the Bible,” she began. “I believe that’s where God has put the answers we seek. Of course it would be easier if He would thump us over the head with His will, but I think learning what He wants us to do is supposed to be a journey of discovery.”
“Really?” Luc looked skeptical.
“Really. Think about it. My dad could tell me twenty times over how to saddle a horse, but until I figured it out for myself it wasn’t meaningful.” She grimaced. “Falling off because I’d forgotten to tighten the cinch personalized it in a way his words could never do.”
“How could Holly the perfect rancher’s daughter ever forget a thing like saddling a horse?” Luc chuckled, his dark eyes dancing with teasing.
“I never claimed I was perfect.” His words put a damper on her spirit. There were those expectations again.
“Perfect is what everyone in town calls you,” Luc shot back.
“I know.” She made a face. “I tried so hard as a kid to make up for my mother’s leaving, to never have my dad be ashamed of me. Too hard, apparently.” Luc’s uplifted brows made her hurry to explain. “My dad was devastated by her departure. I saw that and thought he’d forget her and love me more if I achieved. I wanted to be a daughter he was proud of.”
“Your dad would have been proud of you no matter what, Holly,” Luc said softly.
“I didn’t understand that. I thought I could heal his pain. I didn’t understand till years later that nothing I did could take her place for him. Back then I kept pushing to be the best I could be.” She swallowed hard, amazed that the memory of that confused, painful time still had the power to hurt. “It’s my own fault nobody sees the real me,” she murmured. “All they ever knew was the image I projected, still project I guess. Holly the overachiever.”