by Lexi Ostrow
Laughing with him, she playfully hip bumped him out of her way and walked past him out a door toward the back of the office. He was shocked at the sudden playfulness and again took note of the woman she must have been once upon a time. Following her resulted in a massive increase in barking — some were low and deep, others short and high-pitched and others more of a howl than a bark. He looked down the long hallway and saw paws of all colors slam up against chain link doors at various heights. One set for every cage, a full shelter.
Marie didn’t hesitate to open the lock on a cage three down from the entrance. An excited bark sounded seconds before a large gray Pitbull bounded out of the cage, jumping up onto Marie and slathering her face with kisses. His lips quirked into a smile as he watched the hyper dog bounce on its back legs to get as much attention as possible.
Attention that Marie was more than happy to provide as she sunk to her knees and vigorously scratched the dogs head, laughing as she did so. When she finally looked away from the dog after a kiss on the head, she was practically glowing with happiness. Marie had been stunning the minute he’d seen her. As her emotions had shown, she’d blossomed, but seeing her like this, radiant and happy, it made her sparkle like sunlight glancing off snow.
“Beautiful.” The word slipped out of his mouth before he’d even realized he was thinking it.
“Hmm?” Marie asked as she wiped some of the dog slobber away.
“Who is this guy?” he asked, bending over and ignoring her question rather than fess up.
She grinned even wider. “This is Duke. He’s a purebred believe it or not. The owner had to turn him in when her condo board changed their dog policy.” Bitterness laced her words so heavily her mouth twisted into a disgusted grimace.
Reaching out to scratch the dog, he almost toppled backward when Duke turned his attention to him, bounding up and slamming his big paws against Sean’s chest. Catching himself, he gave the dog a good loving pet, not even trying to dodge the large tongue that kept darting out every few seconds.
“Real rough dog you picked as your favorite.” Taking the leash that he hadn’t even seen her put on, he stood up. “Do we get to run this guy?”
“I guess you can say I’m a sucker for creatures that look tough, but hide a heart of gold.” She turned and walked eight cages away before opening another lock.
Her comment hadn’t gone over his head. He merely couldn’t tell if she had been dropping a hint that perhaps she felt something for him as well or if she was just explaining why she liked the muscular dog so much.
Lost in thought, he didn’t even realize she’d been calling his name.
“Bender? You okay?” she asked, walking toward him with an adorably scruffy looking Shepard mix.
The dog had beautiful blue eyes that sparked with intelligence as it sat and cocked its head at him. The fur was matted in some places but was a striking cinnamon brown that lacked the dark stripping one would expect on a Shepard. However, the pointy ears and sharp nose were easily identifiable as the popular dog, despite the obvious fact it was mixed with something else. Duke whined and sniffed the other dog happily before sitting down as well.
“Sorry, I was just thinking.”
She nodded as if she understood what he was thinking about without him saying. Thankfully, she didn’t. “I know. Some days, I can’t happily work. We often take the dogs out and bring them around with us when we aren’t open to the public. Those are the times when I want to destroy humans the most for what they’ve done to these animals. The cruelty goes soul deep in any person that can abandon or harm a creature that seems to have one purpose in their life, to make us happy. Anyway, this is Shelia. She’s been with us about a week, and my goal is to get her a home next weekend. She deserves it after being the last of her litter left.”
Whether she knew it or not, she was emoting. Anger and grief mixed like a cocktail around her. She was angry with the people of the world for what they did, and he was beginning to wonder if Marie didn’t love the four-legged animals more than the humans she had agreed to protect.
Uncertainty warred with his desire to comfort her. She wouldn’t want that. Fuck, she wouldn’t like that. Yet, he couldn’t shake the urge to tell her it would be okay, that she made a difference and the animals could tell how hard she fought for them.
It’s more than the connection from both being Guardians. Whether we want it to be or not, we have a different link too.
Clearing his throat, he opted for what he hoped was a happy medium. The last thing he wanted to do was spook her off, not when he was just realizing there was a chance he could have a full life if he could convince her to open her heart.
“Why don’t we take these fun loving ones out for a game of fetch? I’ve been here before, and I know you have some runs setup for people to get to know the dogs.”
“I like the way you think, Sean. I’m surprised honestly. I didn’t think we’d see eye-to-eye on so much.”
“Shucks, Ma’am, just being myself,” he said with his best southern accent. She brought out something in him he didn’t think was from his time in the books, a playfulness.
“Well then, I have two words for you.” Mischief flashed in her eyes as she wrapped the shepherd's leash around her wrist. “Race you!”
The shout had barely been uttered when Shelia barked, leaped up and took off, trailing behind Marie slightly. Her laughter echoed and mingled with the barks of the dogs still left in the cages as she raced after the dog.
A part of him wanted to reach into his pocket and make certain his cell phone received service this far on the outskirts of town. The part of him that was finding himself more and more attracted to Marie realized what he was doing with her was as important as any mission with the Air Force. Something that shouldn’t have been possible. He was hard-wired to protect and serve, and what he was doing with Marie wasn’t that.
Standing amongst the barks and yelps, he realized he was a split being. Part of him belonged to the cause that had birthed him into this world, and the other part belonged to the military. He would have to find a way to make both sides of him do the right thing. She was long out of his eyesight, and he hadn’t made a move.
Digging his hand into his pocket, he pulled his phone free and was relieved to see a strong connection. The device began to vibrate and chime in his hand. He was being activated, right when he’d found something to stay behind for.
8
It felt strange.
No, it feels incredibly weird, Marie thought as she stared down at her cell phone as if she could will it to ring or chime with a text.
She’d never dreamed she could miss another person, not with the ice around her heart concealing the one emotion that could have triggered such a sensation. Unless she was wrong. Maybe she didn’t need romantic love to miss a person. She missed the dogs at the shelter all the time.
A warm tongue glided over the top of her hand, and she sighed as she dropped her hand down to her newest family members head and gave it a good scratch.
“Thanks, Duke. I’m sorry it took me so long to make this arrangement more permanent.” She leaned over on the bed and cuddled with the Pitbull, enjoying the sway of his happy tail wagging against her leg.
He looked up at her with so much innocence in his eyes it reminded her of one thing. Love didn’t need to be romantic to be there. Duke loved her, and she knew that she loved him. She would miss him if he were gone and adopting him had been the best move she’d made since her release. When Sean had abruptly taken off after making sure she had a ride home a few days back, she hadn’t had the heart to put the big dog back into the pen.
“Guess you have a forever home, pup. I’m not going anywhere.” She meant the words, but they felt slightly hollow.
She missed Sean, but what was more interesting was she was concerned for him. He’d said next to nothing about the assignment, both at his base and at the shelter when he’d approached her to leave. Which had only made her more and more concer
ned with every day that passed. His job was a secret, she had no issues comprehending or even respecting that. Yet, she couldn’t help wanting to know just how much danger he was in.
They had something between them. Something that went as deep as a Guardian to Word Speaker bond but was clearly something different. She was attracted to him. She’d played the lustful moment over and over in her mind since they’d nearly kissed. But attraction wasn’t romantic love. She could want to fuck him and not have any feelings for him. Except she could feel her body trying to break free from the prison she’d placed it in. Her concern for him was because she cared and had grown accustomed to spending her day chatting with him. Not having him around had only served to create more spider-vein cracks in the armor she thought she’d created. Armor that should have been impenetrable until she was ready to crack it.
Armor that was clearly failing.
Something shifted, stirred to life and flared on with a snap inside her mind. It wasn’t a picture so much as a feeling. Warmth and happiness danced just outside her reach, and when she closed her eyes to capture them, Zach’s face filled her vision. Gasping, she lowered the hand she hadn’t realized she’d raised. The sensations vanished as quickly as they’d come when she’d seen his bright eyes, but she wasn’t feeling anything except disappointment. Disappointment in herself that a small part of her was crying out to remember what loving him had felt like.
Over and over, small glimpses and pangs of the past had been surfacing. Never long enough or powerful enough to shatter through her heart and reign down all that she’d run from. Yet, they were still there and concerning to her. They were likely due to caring about Sean’s safety, something she’d likened to being his friend at first but was slowly accepting that it was because, if things were different, she could easily fall in love with the soldier. Even after such a short time with him, she knew, just as she’d known with Zach, that what was between them was the making of forever. A forever she’d sworn off when she’d ritually frozen herself last season.
“It feels like the end of the world,” she said with a sigh to Duke.
The big dog picked his head up, quirking his ears in acknowledgment that he understood he was being spoken too. Then, he laid his head right back down as if the conversation she was trying to have was of little consequence to him, which she supposed it was.
It only mattered to her that something she had forbidden was starting to transpire. Giving up Zach had been the most painful decision of her life, the life outside the book that is, the one she could control. She couldn’t remember the hurt his death had wrought or the elation at being in his presence, but she could faintly focus on the sensation of being in love with him. Her memory of love was the tiniest of embers; hardly big enough to melt an ice cube, let alone her icy heart. However, little by little over the past three days, it had been flickering with life. The barest reminder she had been someone slightly different once. Someone who had been in love.
Meeting Sean had done nothing more than mess with her senses. Choosing to leave companionship behind after Zach had been the proper choice. Being with Sean had only seemed appealing because he was like her — alone and different. Even if his different was hardly noticeable compared to what happened when she let her powers fly.
“That’s all it is you know?” she asked Duke as she stroked the fur along his neck. “Just this ridiculous feeling of being connected to someone again, of finding someone like me.”
She sighed and stood up, knowing if she didn’t get dressed, she wouldn’t make it to the charity event the shelter was holding at the MGM’s pool. Her concern for Sean was simply the same as her concern for Duke.
“Who you brought home.” The words slipped out as she realized the connotation they held. She wasn’t an impenetrable fortress. Her ancestors and fellow Ice Demons were wrong about the effectiveness of the ceremony. Or it was possible that having been freed from her world, the rules were not quite the same. She was able to shut her emotions down, but perhaps she wasn’t in control of when they came rushing back.
“You can’t see him again,” she said firmly as she tugged off the navy blue shirt with white paw prints and the words “Sin City Saves” scripted across the front.
Pulling the shirt over her head, she let the idea marinate and knew it was the best course of action. They had all the proof they needed to give the man in the coat. Her emotions were returning the longer she was with Sean. She admired him and felt a kinship to him. Fuck, she’d almost given in and allowed him to kiss her the last time they had been in each other’s company.
Guardians could be mended after the loss of their Word Speakers. It wasn’t a pretty process, and it was possible the Guardians had to be similar in nature. She didn’t need to proceed further, and she would even recommend Sean be given help finding another Guardian. He wasn’t what she’d expected, and he didn’t deserve to lose all hope of happiness just because she was sticking to her guns and making certain she never experienced any of the emotions she’d had with Zach ever again.
“That’s all there is to it, Duke.”
He barked as if he understood her as she stepped into her jeans. She couldn’t help but smile at the pup on her bed. She might not care for romantic love to burn her ever again, yet there was no denying the joy she felt, knowing she and Duke had forever homes together. The only forever she would desire, once she safely and politely removed herself from the trial, she was a part of.
It had been pitifully easy for him to find Marie. So easy, he wondered if the rules of their war had changed. Having erased his name, he’d lost much of the power that had come with it, and yet, he’d found a warrior of his brother’s in less than a week. Not long before, when a Guardian and Word Speaker asserted their chosen side, they would have vanished completely to the other side. He’d lost Ciara less than a week after she’d grown into her powers, and despite everything, he’d only found her by tracking the evil beings in the books she read. Without a connection to the books they’d read before turning twenty-seven, a Word Speaker vanished entirely. Once they finally released a Guardian, they were mere whispers in the wind, known but never seen.
With their presence being a mere whisper, it made locating Marie a quick, dare he say, blissful experience. A little bit of magic from his personal witches, sorcerers and warlocks were all it took. Well, that and watching as his brother looked over the pair's progress. It hadn’t taken him long to realize the desert she called home was none other than Sin City, one of his favorite haunting grounds when he needed to scratch an itch.
He pulled at the collar of his jacket as he gave himself a quick once over in the mirror. The long khaki coat suited him as perfectly as it did his brother. They were identical twins after all. His golden eyes were the only thing giving him away for who he truly was.
“Something so easily rectified.”
He chortled at himself as he slipped on a pair of dark Oakley sunglasses. Whether or not his brother ever wore them wouldn’t matter. He simply needed to pop in as his brother and make Marie believed she was disowned before popping back in as his wonderful self and offering her a new life.
Closing the insignificant patch of space he used to spy on his brother, he waved a hand and opened the window to his newest team player. She was leashing up a dog, one she hadn’t had when he’d found her, and heading toward the front door.
“Marie,” he said as plainly as he could as he flashed in front of her path, preventing her from leaving.
She gasped, and the Pitbull growled but slunk behind her legs, clearly sensing him for the alpha predator he was.
“What are you doing here?” Strangled emotion that sounded like fear croaked out in her words.
Her shocked response had clearly been due to his surprise appearance, and not because she had any inkling he wasn’t the man she worked for. Fantastic. He barely restrained the flicker of a grin from sliding over his lips at his accomplishment. His brother would not smile when cutting a player lose.
/> “I’ve come to speak to you about your arrangement, no your involvement with Sean Bender.” His words sounded perfected to his ears, and he wondered why he’d never tried to pass himself off as his brother before.
Her porcelain skin seemed to go a shade whiter than her eyes flashed with something he couldn’t place.
“I had wondered if you knew what was happening.” She held her head high and stared directly into his eyes, despite not being able to see them behind the shades. “The experiment is over. Guardians who have lost their Word Speakers can find a connection together, one strong enough to cause them to re-enter the fight and lay down their life for another person. Something I have been hoping wasn’t the case for the past few weeks. What you wanted to know has been proven, and I’m the proof. My heart should be impenetrable to thoughts of my past, let alone ideas about the future. However, since getting to know Sean, that has not been the case. I can sense things, feelings that would blossom if we remained in this test of yours. I said I would try, I also said I would never allow myself to fall in love with another person again. So I am done.”
He vaguely heard the second part of her short rant. He hadn’t known exactly what his brother had been doing, not until she confirmed it for him. Healing those who were destroyed would help his side, those who had suffered when he’d been caught, as well.
“Did you hear me? I want out. I’ll fight for you, but I don’t ever want to see Sean again.”
The snapped words dragged him back to the moment, and he realized his plan wasn’t going to work if she’d already decided to move on by herself. Except for that final sentence.
“I see.” He crossed his arms over his chest and lowered his chin partially to his chest the way he’d seen his brother do at least a million times. “In that case, I’m afraid I have to inform you that you are no long a member of this fight. If you resist that which can make you whole again, there is no place for you. Only those who fight for my brother are broken and damaged. I do not need that on my side.”