Horrific pain ripped through her chest. It was hard to breathe now. Her face felt wet, and strange. She wanted to move, to get more comfortable. Maybe if she could just sit up.
Candy slipped into oblivion….
Roxanne paced the length of the living room, unable to shake the dreadful sensation that something was wrong. Terribly wrong. She didn’t have any idea what though. A quick chill breezed through her as she tried to evict the bad feeling.
The telephone’s ring came as no surprise to her, although it did scare her. She didn’t want to answer it, knowing the caller had no news she wanted to hear. Even though her heart screamed, don’t answer it, her brain commanded her to pick up the receiver.
“Hello.” Her voice cracked, weaker than she expected.
Just as Roxanne had intuited, the call was unwelcomed. She received scarce information. Only that Candy had been involved in a single-car accident and she’d been transported by ambulance to St. Joseph’s Hospital.
Candy. Oh, God. Something had happened to Candy. Mechanically, she opened the address book to Rich’s name and dialed his phone number. Hearing it ring twice, she urged him to hurry and answer her call.
“Hello...” she heard him say.
“Rich?” she questioned him, but didn’t wait for a reply. “This is Roxanne.”
“What’s up? Are you okay?”
“Something terrible has happened. There’s been an accident...” her voice, shaky and pathetic, trailed off. Roxanne couldn’t control her tears any longer.
“Calm down, Roxanne,” Rich said. “Tell me what happened.”
“They said she’s at the hospital, but they won’t tell me if she’s okay.”
“Okay. Stay calm. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be at your house in ten minutes,” he said, and the line went dead.
Rich made it to Roxanne’s house in record time and they went straight to the hospital.
“Don’t worry,” he said to Roxanne as he led her through the emergency entrance. “She’s going to be okay.” But who was he trying to convince—himself or Roxanne?
Candy had to be okay. If not, he’d never forgive himself.
They approached the information desk and Roxanne said, “We’re looking for Candice Simon.”
The nurse flashed them a startled look, but promptly composed herself. “If you’d like to have a seat, someone will be with you as soon as possible.”
“I don’t want to have a seat,” Roxanne said. “I want to see my sister. Now.”
“Calm down, Roxie.” Rich led her to a row of nearby chairs. “Let’s just have a seat for now. They’ll let us know something when they can.”
“Can’t they just tell us if she’s alive?” she asked desperately, and the tears emerged. “Why won’t they tell us that?”
Rich clasped her face in his hands. “Look on the bright side…if Candy has left us, they’d come out and say it. So she must be alive,” he promised. “So let’s stay calm for her sake, okay?”
“Okay.”
“You stay here,” he said, easing out of his chair. “I’ll be right back.”
He didn’t look over his shoulder to see if she’d complied. He fished a coin out of his front pocket and dropped it in to the slot of a payphone against the wall and dialed a number.
When the call was answered, he said, “Hey it’s me. There’s been an accident. Candy’s in the hospital.” He tried to remain calm. “It looks pretty grim, and Roxanne isn’t taking it well.”
When the conversation ended, Rich hung up the phone and went back to Roxanne’s side. Sitting, he draped his arm around her shoulder. “She’s going to be okay,” he said surely, struggling to maintain control.
A woman approached them. “Ms. Simon?” her voice broke into Roxanne’s meditation. “My name is Tonya Allen. I’m your sister’s doctor.”
Rich and Roxanne both stood. “Is my sister all right?”
“We cannot be certain of the extent of her injuries just yet,” she said regretfully.
Roxanne’s heart pounded. “But she is alive?” she asked with assumption and a hint of relief.
“Yes, she is alive. She’s unconscious and unresponsive. I can tell you that she has some facial lacerations, a punctured lung, and several broken ribs.” She paused hesitantly and finally added, “The next twenty-four hours will tell the story.”
“Can we see her?” Rich asked anxiously.
“She’s being taken to ICU right now. As soon as she’s settled you can see her...one at a time.” The doctor gave her the usual instructions and ended with, “She may or may not know you’re there.”
Lacerations. A punctured lung. Broken ribs. Reality closed in on Rich. This is all my fault.
This never would have happened if he’d been the least bit caring. Why didn’t he just admitted the truth? Take a leap of faith with her. She’d finally proclaimed her love for him, but he was so worried about his feelings getting hurt that he’d turned his back on her. Would she ever forgive him? Could he ever forgive himself?
When they reached the door to Candy’s hospital room, Rich stopped and looked at Roxanne. “You go first.”
“You sure?”
“Go.” Gently, he pushed her forward.
Slowly, Roxanne entered Candy’s room. The sight of Candy lying in the bed scared her. Bandages covered her eyes, her forehead, the right side of her face, and both hands spanning up to the middle of her forearms. Her left arm was in a sling.
Roxanne pulled a chair up to the side of the bed. Looking at Candy, she felt about as helpless as a person could possibly feel. Her best friend in the whole world lay there lifeless and she couldn’t do anything about it.
“Candy…it’s me, Rocky.” She fought with the need to cry. “They say you might not be able to hear me, but I know better...you have to wake up, Candy.” She thought that issuing orders would chase away her tears. It didn’t work. “You can’t leave me and Frankie here all alone. We can’t make it without you.”
Roxanne kept looking at Candy, expecting her to say something. Anything.
But nothing.
Candy didn’t make a sound. She didn’t move.
“Rich is here,” Roxanne said, hoping that’d spark something from her. It didn’t. “He’s really worried about you. I think you’ve won the battle...” She tried to ward off the tears, but they came anyway. “...if you’ll just wake up.” She scolded herself silently. It couldn’t be good for Candy to hear her crying.
Roxanne went back out into the hallway where Rich was patiently waiting.
“Are you all right?” he asked, torn between the need to go to Candy’s side and not wanting to leave Roxanne alone.
“You go on in. I’ll be fine.” She paused, letting her wits strengthen. “Candy needs to hear your voice. She needs to know you’re here.”
Rich’s need to see Candy—to make sure for himself that she was all right—won out over his sense of obligation when he looked at Roxanne’s helpless expression.
He pushed the door open at a snail’s pace. Seeing Candy lying there covered in far more bandages than he’d anticipated, cut into his soul. He hated seeing her like this, and he hated that he couldn’t do anything about it. But mostly, he hated himself for doing it to her.
He sat down at her side. “Hey...you feeling okay?” he asked, as if she would just wake up and speak to him.
But Candy didn’t move. She didn’t come close to making a sound.
“I’m really sorry.” He wanted so badly for her to know that. “I let my pride get in the way and now look what I’ve done.”
Still, she didn’t move.
“It’s going to be okay though,” he said surely. “I’m gonna stay right here with you.”
Roxanne went to look for the chapel. She needed a place where she could find solace. It was empty. Good.
She sat down a few rows from the front. Alone and frightened, the quiet atmosphere still managed to bring her some peace and tranquility, for the moment anyway. Staring into t
he flames of the candlelight, she looked for consolation and found the soft, flickering glow warm and soothing.
News and details of the accident had taken its toll on Roxanne. Candy had been traveling on the freeway in excess of one hundred and thirty-five miles per hour. The car hit the concrete guard railing, crashed through it and tumbled down several hundred feet to a quiet city street below.
Roxanne knelt, folded her hands together and rested them on the pew in front of her. God, she prayed silently, why did this happen to her? She doesn’t deserve it.
“God,” Roxanne said out loud. “She’s never done anything to warrant this. It was me. I’m the one to blame for everything.” She bowed her head, fighting the tears. “None of this is her fault. The fault is mine and mine alone. If anyone has to be punished—” She paid no mind to her falling tears. “—it should be me.” Roxanne sucked in a breath. “Please God…don’t make her pay for the things I’ve done. If you have to find fault with someone, please let it be me. Please…take me instead.”
A firm hand gripped Roxanne shoulder and her heart leaped into her throat. Was God granting her request? Taking her right there?
“Roxie...” A voice called out her name. Both familiar and frightening, yet somehow it consoled her.
Thank God. “Frankie...” Her tears broke free as he pulled her to her feet.
“It’s okay,” he said. “Candy’s gonna be okay.”
Roxanne could almost believe it when he said it.
Frank kept one arm draped around her, and with his other hand he took the handkerchief from his jacket and gently dabbed at her tears. She caught a glimpse of a hopeful smile edging the corners of his mouth.
If Roxanne could have seen behind his shades, she would have seen the genuine concern in his eyes for Candy.
Frank couldn’t go through with his plans. Not right now. He’d have to wait. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything to hurt Roxanne while Candy was fighting for her life. He never wanted Roxanne to suffer like this. Not because of some tragedy that befell Candy.
Frank led Roxanne back to Candy’s room. Sadly, there was no change in her condition.
The hospital staff suggested that Roxanne go home and get some rest, assuring her that when she returned in the morning they should have a better picture of Candy’s situation.
Roxanne didn’t want any part of that. She wasn’t going anywhere. She intended to stay put because when Candy did wake up, she planned to be there.
Frank had different ideas though. Roxanne going home and getting some rest. He’d see to it even if he had to stay there to make sure of it. Besides, when their son woke up in the morning, he’d want to know where his mother was. And somebody had to tell him about his Aunt Candy. That someone was going to be Roxanne. Frank would see to that.
It hadn’t been easy, but Frank managed to coax Roxanne into going home. He followed her up the stairs, his confidence growing in the knowledge that she truly needed him. He also knew he couldn’t let her down. Not right now. Not while Candy was in dire straits.
A notion knocked at the back of his mind—that he might need her to need him, just as much as he wanted her to—but he wouldn’t let it in. Frank wasn’t forgetting how hard the past few years had been. No one, not even Roxanne, could ever understand what losing her had cost him.
Letting go was hard you see
Life without you was painful for me
Frank sat down on the edge of the bed while Roxanne disappeared into the bathroom. Old memories flooded his head. Memories of the two of them together and in love. He tried to cast them out; they threatened his well-being.
Memories cloud my mind
Of the love we had
Do you ever think of us
And does it make you sad
Roxanne gazed at her reflection in the mirror. She looked like crap. Her face had paled, drained of all energy. A logical outcome with Frank on the other side of the door. He’d made it clear that he intended to stay.
And even though she wanted and needed him to be with her, she knew the truth. She knew why he was there. He just wanted the chance to condemn her and punish her a little bit more. When was it ever going to end? Just how long did she have to pay?
Roxanne opened the medicine cabinet and retrieved the pills Jerry had given her. Without much forethought, she filled a glass with water and briskly threw a couple of pills from each bottle into her mouth. Gulping down the liquid, she swallowed the tablets easily.
Her confidence blossomed. She checked herself in the mirror and smiled. The medicine would provide the courage she needed to deal with Frank.
She undressed, grabbed her nightgown off the hook behind the bathroom door, and slipped the soft garment down over her body. Dragging a brush through her hair, she studied her reflection in the mirror. Roxanne wanted to trust Frank, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that he had ulterior motives.
With a touch of reluctance she opened the door.
Frank tilted his head and peered at Roxanne. The years had been good to her. Her beauty hadn’t faded a bit. Stop that.
All those lonely nights
Were hard to face
And I tried so hard to find
Someone to take your place
Frank had tried, many times, to find someone just like Roxanne. His efforts always ended up fruitless and futile. No matter how hard he searched for someone to take her place, he couldn’t find anyone to fill that empty space inside of him. Each day, he prayed someone would come. Somebody just like her. Many had tried to imitate Roxanne but none had ever succeeded.
Actually, Frank had never succeeded. He’d tried to turn them all into Roxanne and each time he’d failed miserably.
Outwardly, he adjusted his sunglasses as he looked at her. Inwardly, he shut the door on all those old feelings of love trying so hard to make an escape.
He turned down the bed covers and then, with a waving gesture, he urged her to climb into bed.
Roxanne crawled between the sheets and didn’t object as Frank tucked the covers around her. He turned to move away and she grabbed his hand.
“Frankie…”
He glanced over his shoulder.
“I just wanted to say thank you for being here with me.”
“You’re welcome.” He took a deep breath. “When all is said and done…when you need me, I’ll always be here for you.”
Roxanne allowed herself to hope that maybe she’d under-estimated Frank.
“Truth is...” he voice echoed sadness. “I’ve always been here for you. You just never believed it.”
“I’m beginning to believe it now.” Yet, she couldn’t help thinking, I know I shouldn’t…but I do.
“Don’t worry,” he said, and moved closer to her. “I’m going to be here as long as you want me to.”
She wished he would take off his sunglasses. “Could I ask you to do something for me?”
“Sure.”
“Do you think you could just stay here with me…for a while?” she asked through a tone weakened by the fear of rejection. “And hold me? At least until I fall asleep.”
Without a word, Frank lay down on the edge of the bed and draped his arm around Roxanne. She moved her arm out from under the covers and laced her fingers with his. He could tell when she had fallen asleep, her grip on his hand loosened.
With gentle and slow movements, Frank took off his shades and laid them on the nightstand. He snuggled closer to her, telling himself it didn’t mean anything. Her hair fell against his face and the scent of fresh peaches filled his senses, reminding him of such a long time ago.
I need to know that you still care
That you still need the kind of love we share
I’m blinded by your charms
Is it really so bad to want to begin again
Because only in your arms
Can my broken heart mend
Rich had a cot brought into Candy’s room, and after several hours he finally convinced himself to lie down. He a
lmost drifted off to sleep a couple of times, but the thought that she might wake up kept him from dozing off completely. He couldn’t manage much more than lying there thinking about what had happened. He dwelled on all the things he could have done—instead of turning his back on her.
If she’d wake up, he could explain everything. He could tell her how he really felt. How his silly pride had gotten in the way—that’s all. But now a new fear filled his senses, dashing his hopes. What if he never got the chance to tell her how much he truly did love her? That he always had and he always would.
Crazy For You Page 16