“That’s the feeling I got,” Jared admitted. Especially after what Maren had told him about the man.
Maren said nothing. Instead she got into the car. Taking his cue, Jared moved around the rear of the vehicle and got in on the driver’s side.
Joe backed away from the car, pulling Tucker with him. “Get going, you two, before we manage to talk away another hour out here.”
Starting his car, Jared waved to the man as he pulled away from the curb.
Maren twisted against her seat belt, watching until both man and dog disappeared from view before she sat facing forward again. When she settled back against the seat, Jared had the impression she was tense again.
Why?
Chapter 10
He stood it as long as he could.
Eyes fixed on the road, Jared switched on the radio. A Rolling Stones’s tune filled the interior of the vehicle, its lyrics largely indistinguishable. At least it chased away the silence that had been riding with them for the past five minutes.
He glanced at Maren for her reaction. Her expression gave nothing away. He gestured toward the radio. “Want to hear anything in particular?”
It took her a second to respond. “What?” She looked at the radio in the dashboard as if it had asked her the question, then belatedly shook her head. “No, anything’s fine.”
But everything was not fine. He was going through his own turbulence, but it helped somewhat to ask about hers. “Something wrong, Maren? You’re a million miles away.”
“Just lost in thought,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. She wasn’t lost, she was going around in circles, and he was right there in the center.
Was she thinking about the same thing he was? he wondered. About what was brewing between them? About the pull he’d felt, the pull that kept growing stronger?
“You should always leave markers,” he said flippantly.
Maren turned toward him, confusion in her eyes. “What?”
“Markers,” he repeated. “So you don’t lose your way.”
Inwardly she shook her head. Too late for that. She should have never agreed to come to dinner, not if Jared was going to be there. It was far too personal an experience, being in the home where she’d grown up. Being around the only man she’d ever thought of as family. Being there with a man who caused tidal waves in her soul.
“What if I lose the markers?” she asked.
He could certainly identify with that, Jared thought wryly. His own had somehow gotten covered in dust during the course of the evening. All he could think of was making love with her. He really needed to take a cold shower. Hell, maybe he’d just sit in his freezer for a while.
“Then I’d say you had a problem.”
“Amen to that.” It was an apt summation. She did have a problem, and the only way she knew how to handle it was with silence. Because the moment there was a dialogue going on between them, she found herself opening up to him. Found herself wanting to talk to him, to share.
Found herself just wanting to be with him.
And none of the flimsy excuses she kept feeding herself worked. She knew exactly what was going on. She was standing on quicksand and any second, it was going to swallow her up.
“Anything I can do to help?” he offered.
Other than disappearing off the face of the earth? Nope, ’fraid not. She tried very hard not to react to the kindly note in his voice. Why was he holding on to the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles bulged?
“Thanks, but I’ll work this out on my own.”
He told himself to focus on the fact that he was still searching for evidence, that sometimes the most innocent of statements led to an eventual bust. But what he was feeling right now had nothing to do with money laundering, or evidence, and everything to do with the woman sitting here beside him in the dark.
“Sometimes it helps to have a sounding board,” he heard himself say as he took another corner.
She knotted her hands in her lap, staring straight ahead. “And sometimes it doesn’t.”
“Ouch.” Making another sharp right, he pulled into her complex. Slowly he made his way toward her block of apartments, searching for an empty space in guest parking. Finding one, he guided his vehicle into it. “I guess that puts me in my place.”
Hardly. She unbuckled her seat belt then became aware that he was doing the same. Maren opened her door quickly. “You don’t have to walk me to my door.”
He got out on his side. “My mother taught me never to just drop a woman off in her front walk as if she were the morning newspaper.”
She looked at him pointedly over the roof of the car. “Your mother’s not here.”
“No, but she left a lasting impression.” Rounding the hood, he was at her side before she could take the next step.
She laughed shortly. “You know, in your own way, you’re very pushy.”
Taking her elbow, he began to walk her to her apartment. “I prefer the word determined. Gallant’s not so bad, either.”
About to shrug him off, she let it go instead. He’d be gone in a minute. No harm in the brief contact. “Is that what you’re being? Gallant?”
He flashed a smile at her and she felt two salvos to either one of her knees. “See, there’s so little of it these days you can’t even recognize it when you come across it.”
She started hunting for her key even before they reached her door. “Like chivalry, right?”
They walked past an apartment ablaze with lights and noise. Someone was having a party, and he caught himself thinking about having a party of his own. A party with only two people in attendance.
Mentally he began turning the faucet on for that cold shower he sorely needed. “Exactly.”
After rounding a well-manicured corner populated with sleeping ice plants, Jared brought her closer to her door. With each step he took, he was acutely aware of the warring factions within him. On the one hand, he knew he should press his advantage, coax her to invite him in, perhaps even spend the night. Lovers told each other things that strangers didn’t. He wasn’t about to talk, but maybe she would. It wasn’t that he suspected her of being involved in the crime, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t privy to knowledge that might help his investigation. Sometimes people didn’t know what it was they knew.
On the other hand, because he felt things for her—deep, nebulous things he didn’t want to examine too closely—a nobler part of him thought it would be best just to withdraw after making sure she was safely inside her apartment. A nobler part and a more private part. Making love with her would only complicate things, not facilitate them. In his heart, he knew that.
But it was his damn heart that kept getting in the way.
He felt torn, doomed no matter which way he turned.
Nervous anticipation licked at her from all sides. She needed to slip into her apartment before something happened. Before she kissed him the way she’d been aching to all evening. There, she’d finally admitted it to herself. Her growing desire had been nagging at her the entire time she’d been at Papa Joe’s. Every word she and Jared had exchanged, every look that had gone between them, had that urge behind it.
She wanted to make love with him. Wanted to feel him touching her. Wanting her. One would think after being all but bounced on her head by Kirk, she’d know better than to let herself be drawn to someone like Jared. But, a small voice inside her insisted, Jared isn’t anything like Kirk. Except for his looks. But even there, he excelled.
“You’re thinking again,” he observed. “I can hear the wheels turning from here.”
Facing him, the key still clutched tightly in her hand, Maren shrugged. “Sorry, occupational habit.”
“You’re thinking about the restaurant.” The look in his eyes told her he knew better.
She held on to the lie as if it was her only lifeline in the middle of shark-infested waters. Even though it was quickly dissolving.
“Yes.”
The smile spread slowly,
starting in his eyes and finding its way to his lips. “You’re not much of a liar, Maren Minnesota.”
About to protest, she gave it up before the words saw the light of day. “I don’t get much practice.”
“That’s good.” The softly whispered words hung between them in the night air. “Honesty is a very sexy quality in a woman.”
“Just in a woman?” she breathed.
“Especially in a woman,” he qualified.
Giving in, yet still struggling to hold a tight rein on himself, Jared brushed a soft kiss against her hair. He had no way of knowing that it was the fastest way of melting the icy reserve she was attempting to surround herself with.
“Lying leaves a bad taste in your mouth,” he told her.
She tilted her head up to look into his eyes. She felt as if her entire being vibrated with anticipation. “Speaking from experience?”
He moved his head from side to side slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. “From hearsay.”
She wanted to believe him, believe in the moment, believe in the purity of what was happening here between them. But she was afraid. Afraid of getting burned again.
Yet she couldn’t make herself retreat. “And is that a lie, too?”
“You make me want to do things, Maren.” He framed her face in his hands, his heart speeding up and beating wildly in his chest. “Wild, insane things.”
She could feel her breath backing up in her lungs. Every sane bone in her body begged her to run for cover. But she wasn’t listening to sanity, she was listening to the rush of desire as it overtook her veins.
“Such as?”
He didn’t want words any longer. He wanted her.
Jared lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. Kissed her long and hard. The restraint he’d been holding on to so tightly splintered completely, falling through his fingers like so many tiny toothpicks.
He enveloped her in his arms and deepened the kiss. Deepened so that it dragged him down into its center, threatening to never release him. He didn’t care. As long as he could go down with Maren.
Jared held her closer, tighter, trying to satisfy his growing hunger with the feel of her body pressed against his. He told himself it was enough, but this was just as much of a lie as the ones he’d told her.
The attempt to sate himself backfired, only making him hungrier. Noble thoughts fled like so many leaves in the autumn wind, to be replaced with desire that thundered through his entire being.
A rush swept through her so quickly, it snatched her breath away. The promises she’d made to herself, even seconds ago, shattered, not one by one, but in unison, sending a tidal wave of demands and urges through her. Ever since Kirk had walked out on her, she’d been completely celibate. She hadn’t even been tempted so much as once.
Until Jared had walked into her office.
Now she couldn’t think of anything else, of anyone else. Only of being with him in every way. She could barely breathe when he pulled away. Her heart hammered so hard, it felt as if it was going to fly out of her throat at any second.
“Oh,” she finally managed to murmur, remembering that he’d said something about wanting to do insane things an eternity ago. “You mean those kinds of things.”
He had one chance. One chance to be noble, before he begged her to let him stay. But even as he tried to take it, he was still holding her. Still feeling the current that had swept through him.
“I’d better go.”
“No.”
Maren had whispered the word so softly, he was sure it was his own imagination that had given voice to the entreaty.
Until she added, “Don’t.”
He took hold of her hands, bringing each to his lips and kissing them one at a time. Everything inside him wanted to agree. But he knew she was vulnerable, knew he’d be taking advantage of that. Knew, too, that he was just as needy in his own way as she was.
For the first time in his life, he wanted someone. Wanted a woman not just with his body, but with something else. With a need that made him suddenly aware of the large gaping hole in his soul. A hole he’d never been aware of before.
The war within him upped the stakes. “You don’t know what you’re asking, Maren.”
Her eyes never left his. Beyond the need, he saw a strength there and it surprised him. And yet, it was what he liked about her. She was her own woman. Problem was, he wanted her to be his woman.
“I’m not some wide-eyed innocent, Jared. I know what I’m asking.”
He framed her face again and brought his mouth down to hers once more. He meant only to brush his lips against hers. Meant to kiss her goodbye, not kiss his own strength goodbye.
But it was inevitable. The more he kissed her, the more he wanted to kiss her. The more he wanted to be with her. His need grew bigger than his resolve.
“Maren?” he murmured against her lips.
“Hmm?”
“Maybe you’d better unlock your door before the neighbors call the police.”
He felt her mouth curve into a smile against his mouth. Saw both the anticipation and promise of pleasure in her eyes just before she turned to insert the key she’d been clutching into the lock. A quick twist and they were inside.
Alone with the shadows of their pasts.
Jared pushed the door closed behind him and the darkness swallowed them up. As did the passion that was raging within both of them. He kissed her over and over again. Kissed her as his hands jerked off first her coat then the pullover blouse she’d worn. His fingers searched for the snap at her waist to loosen the little navy skirt she’d put on mere hours ago. The one that had been driving him crazy with each and every step she’d taken.
As he pushed the fabric down the tantalizing swell of her hips, his fingers brushed against a small scrap of material. He heard her sharp intake of breath as he followed the outline along her buttocks and then toward the very core of her. Her belly quivered against his fingers. He was versed enough to know that she wore a thong.
The image that conjured up in his mind was enough to put him in danger of swallowing his own tongue.
She’d followed his lead, frantic movement for frantic movement. Divesting him of his jacket, his shirt, his pants. The hunger she discovered burning within her had changed her. She’d never felt this level of anticipation, this level of eagerness before. It was as if she was going to explode if she didn’t make love with him. She couldn’t hope to control what she was experiencing. She could only let herself be swept away by it.
The feel of his hands along her body heated her so that she was certain she was going to ignite right here right at the door inside her small apartment. Her body moistened as he plundered its secrets with his hands, his mouth, his tongue.
Drawing the very essence of her soul from her. Replacing it with heat, with lights, with a rush so overwhelming and overpowering she didn’t have a prayer of surviving.
Her world was tilting.
The next second she realized that Jared had brought her down to the floor, right here on the soft pile created by their abandoned clothes.
Hands laced through hers, he assaulted her skin with his mouth. She twisted and turned against him, absorbing every sensation, reveling in it. He was making her indelibly his as he kissed, teased, branded every inch of her.
As he slid his tongue along her belly, she felt every muscle quiver involuntarily.
Felt her core growing damp for wanting him.
And the dampness was heating. Heating as his mouth found her. Tantalized her. She cried out as the sensations grew more powerful. It was as if a giant wave was coming for her, threatening to drown her.
And still, she rushed toward it. Anticipating it.
She bucked, arched, tightened her legs around him as the climax he’d created took possession of her, racking her body.
Growing.
One explosion flowered into another like a majestic display of Fourth of July fireworks. And then the sensation ebbed away. Exhaustion pressed down
on her. Exhaustion that mysteriously vanished the instant he began to slide his body over hers.
She felt his desire hard against her. Pressing her lips together, she spread her legs apart and invited him to join with her.
His eyes held her prisoner.
And then he was inside her. Moving slowly, then with more and more pent-up energy. She couldn’t have remained passive if she’d wanted to. Energy came from somewhere, meeting the rhythm of his body. Urging it further.
He locked his hands with hers again. Moving so that the room, the very world, began to spin around her, making her airborne.
And when the final sensation came for him, Jared gathered her to him, holding her tightly, as if the two of them were hurtling down a chasm and all he could do to save her was shield her with his own body. The words were born in that heat, in that instant, escaping his lips without escort. Without thought. “I love you.”
When the final moment came to her, Maren thought she heard him murmur something against her ear. The sound buzzed in her head as the explosion she’d been anticipating echoed through her body, shaking it down to its very core.
The euphoria seized her, holding her tightly, as tightly as his arms were wrapped around her. Even now, in its full grip, she mourned the second when the euphoria would pass. But for the moment, she savored it as long as she could. Wishing with all her soul that it could somehow last forever.
She felt his body begin to relax against her, felt his hold loosen ever so slightly until it went lax altogether.
And then Jared was over her, pivoting himself on his elbows, lightly moving her damp hair from her cheek. His eyes telling her things in the enduring silence that hummed between them.
An almost unbearable sweetness seized her.
Softly, he kissed her. Kissed her as if they hadn’t just made wild, passionate love on her floor. Kissed her as if they were only two very young people on the brink of the mysteries of first love.
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