“Tell me, Mac. Trust me.”
“The reason I did what I did…to you? I needed the money to get us out of the house. His house. Janey got pregnant.”
Fuck. Was she saying…no. That couldn’t be. That just…no.
“She was sixteen. Bill had been molesting her for months.”
I sucked in a long, slow breath, all my muscles flexing as I stood, pushing her away when she tried to touch me.
“He raped his stepdaughter?”
“Shh. Please.” She glanced at the stairs.
“And you?” I asked. “Did he touch you?” Each word came from between clenched teeth.
“No, not like that. He just beat me up.”
Hands fisted, I paced the living room. “He should be in jail, MacKayla.”
She stood, shaking her head, and stepped in front of me. I stopped. “No. It would humiliate Janey, and if Sadie ever learned the truth about how she was conceived…”
“No. He should be in fucking prison. He raped a child. A child.”
“Slater, stop. Please. You’re scaring me.”
“What does he want? Why was he in your house?”
“Money.” She sighed. “What does he ever want? I didn’t want to tell Janey, but when she showed up, I had to. I needed to warn her in case he turned up again.”
“Did you give him some the other day?”
“Two thousand dollars. It was all I had.”
I shook my head and took her by the shoulders. “No. No more. He is not to come into this house. He won’t. In fact, he won’t go near either of you again because if he does, I’ll fucking kill him.”
“Slater, please. What…”
“Where is he?”
“I don’t know.”
“In town?”
“I think he watched me dance a couple nights. God, it’s disgusting, isn’t it?” She sat back down and pulled the sleeves of her sweater down into her palms before hiding her face in her hands. “We’re disgusting.”
At first, I was confused by what she’d said, but then I understood. I sat down beside her, took her hands away from her face, and made her look at me. “Don’t hide your face from me. Don’t hide anything from me again. You’re not disgusting. He is. He is the only one who is sick. I promise you, MacKayla, he will never touch you or even come near you or Janey or Sadie again. I swear it.”
She didn’t speak after that. She just let me hold her as she wept into my chest. With every shaky breath she took, every tear that soaked through my shirt, I grew angrier and angrier and vowed to find Bill. I couldn’t tell MacKayla, though, not yet. But I would not let him hurt her again.
I TOLD JANEY I was going out to meet Slater the next night when I couldn’t miss another shift at the club. Not if I wanted to keep my job there. She did question the time of our date but left it alone.
I parked my car and scanned the lot, something I always did, before I locked up and headed inside. I noted how Jack still hadn’t replaced the burned-out lamp. I’d mention it again.
Familiar music from the floor reached the back hallway as I entered. I yelled a hello to Jack and found Lisa and Angie in the dressing room laughing.
“Hey, guys,” I called out before dumping my duffel bag at my station.
“Well, hey. You’re early,” Angie said. “How’s your visit with your sister going?”
“It’s really great. I missed her so much, and finally meeting my niece is pretty amazing. Thanks for covering for me, Angie.”
“Anytime, honey.”
“How’s the crowd tonight?”
“Horny!” Lisa answered while applying yet another coat of dark-red lipstick.
I grinned. “Hey, the hornier they are, the better the tips!”
“Heard about your private show,” Lisa said, giving me a sideways glance.
Angie shoved at her to shut up. I wondered if the other girls minded that I didn’t have to stay to serve drinks, that I got to keep on my string and never had to do the private rooms. Although they certainly weren’t forced to do it. Maybe strongly encouraged was the way to say it.
Either way, I didn’t reply to her comment. “Jack still hasn’t replaced the lightbulb outside. I really don’t like it,” I said, trying to change the subject.
“Jack said you knew the guy,” Lisa continued.
“Jack has a big mouth.” I remained focused on my own reflection as I undressed and slipped my robe on. Out of all the girls here, Lisa was the only one I didn’t really like. She had been unfriendly from the start, and that was fine, but I didn’t like her in my business. I’d make sure to talk to Jack about it.
“He said you made a killing.”
“All right, Lisa, that’s enough.” Jack stood in the doorway, arms folded across his chest. “Think you’re up in a few, so get your ass out there, girl.”
She gave me a look before turning on her heel and flouncing out of the dressing room.
Angie laid a hand on my shoulder. “Ignore her, she’s just jealous.”
“Thanks,” I said through tightly pursed lips, my eyes on Jack in the mirror. She must have seen it because she excused herself a minute later.
I stood and faced Jack. “Why are you telling everyone about my private dance? You knew that was personal, and no one has a right to know how much he paid.”
“You know I didn’t mean nothin’ by it. Just had a few drinks, and you know how I get to talkin’.”
“Jack, please. This is really important. I need this job, and…”
“Well, I wanted to talk at you about that, actually. Sit down.”
My heart beat a little faster. Was I getting fired?
“I need you to do more private dances, Mac.”
I began to shake my head before he’d even finished, but he held up a hand.
“And I need you to take everything off from now on. The other girls are starting to get jealous that I give you preferential treatment.”
“Well, they probably wouldn’t have cared if you hadn’t opened your big mouth about the money!”
He didn’t speak for a moment but came inside and locked the door behind him. His gaze ran the length of me before he approached. This was business Jack. This was Jack who counted his dollars. He’d been lenient with me up until now, I knew, but I couldn’t do what he asked. Not the rooms, at least.
“The other night, that guy, that was a one-time deal. No one is going to pay that much money for a private dance. No one. I already told you I knew him. Please, Jack.”
“You’re costing me money.”
“How? I pay you a percentage of my tips!”
“Convince me to compromise.”
I shrank back. That’s what this was about. He’d had all the girls, and now he wanted to add me to his list of conquests. I made the mistake of glancing down at the crotch of his pants and saw the outline of his erect cock.
“I’ll take everything off,” I spat. It would be the easiest of the compromises.
“That’s a good start. What else?”
“Let me think about the rest.”
“Are you better than the rest of us, Mac?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. “I mean, is your pussy made of gold?”
“What? No, you know I don’t think that.”
“No, you’re right. I do know that.”
I exhaled but didn’t like the way he looked at me.
“Open your robe, Mac.”
I gripped it tight. “Why?”
“You know I need to inspect all my girls now and again, just like I did when you first applied for the job. Just like I do the others.”
That was bullshit. He didn’t need to inspect anything. Yes, I’d stripped for him onstage before he’d hired me—my audition—but it hadn’t been like this, in a private room with the door locked.
Just then, someone tried to open the door. “Who’s in there? I need my gloves.” It was Lisa.
Jack went to the door and let her in.
“Lisa, when was the last time we had o
ur inspection?” Jack asked, making a point of looking at me.
Lisa paused, catching on. She grinned. “Full inspection?”
Jack nodded.
“Last week Friday. I know you expect to do those weekly, Jack.”
“Thank you,” he said, turning back to me. Lisa gave me a smirk. “You can go, Lisa.”
Clearly disappointed, Lisa left. Jack closed the door and faced me again. “If you plan on dancing at my club, I’m going to need to have a look at you. I’ve been lax in my inspections, playing favorites, really. I like you, Mac. You’re good for the club. But I’ve got to treat everyone the same.”
Knowing I had to do what he said, I untied my robe and held it open. His gaze slowly drifted over me, even though he’d seen me like this a hundred times. When he got to my panties, he gave me a nod, a gesture to take them off.
I didn’t like this. It felt wrong. All I could think of was Slater. But I also knew I had no choice. I slipped my fingers into the waistband of my panties and pushed them down to pool at my ankles.
Jack’s expression didn’t change, but he took his time as if I was the first woman he’d ever seen naked. He stepped closer but didn’t try to touch me.
“Turn around.”
“Jack…”
“Turn, Mac.”
I did.
“Slide your robe off.”
I glared at him in the mirror, my mind screaming for me to turn around and slap him, to hell with this job, but then thoughts of Janey and Sadie, and a final one of Bill made me stop.
I did as he said and waited.
“Now bend over, elbows on the table.”
I’d been stripping for a year. Taking off my clothes in front of a roomful of strangers was something I did. I didn’t feel anything when I did it, almost as though it wasn’t me at all up on that stage. This? This shamed me. I turned to face Jack.
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” I picked up the hoodie I’d taken off not fifteen minutes ago and pulled it over my head. “This isn’t me.”
“What’s going on in here?” Angie stood in the doorway with her arms folded across her chest.
Jack jumped when he heard her. She glared at him. “What the fuck are you doing, Jack?”
“Nothing,” Jack began while I put my jeans on.
“Mac, honey, what’s going on? What’s the fool done now?” Angie asked, elbowing him out of the way and coming to me.
“Look, just go out there and dance, and we’ll talk some more about this later,” Jack said.
“No. If I stay, I don’t do the private rooms. I’ll strip everything off, I’ll give you that, but that’s it. This is a hard limit, Jack.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Mac,” Angie said, glaring at Jack. “I think you’re overstepping here, Jack. We’re partners; we discuss things before you go scaring my best girl out.”
Jack kept his mouth shut, but man did he look like he had something to say. Instead of speaking, though, he turned toward the door, looked back, even opened his mouth, but closed it again and left.
Angie put an arm around my shoulders. “Forget him. And you come to me if you have any trouble. Do what you’ve always done, Mac. Take off what you’re comfortable taking off. I’m not having my girls do anything they don’t want to do. I don’t care if it upsets his current sperm receptacle.”
She winked at her joke, and I forced a smile, hugging her, but I had a feeling my days here were numbered.
“Thanks, Angie. You’re the best.”
“I love you, honey.”
Early the next morning, before I had to go to work, Janey and I sat at the table having coffee while Sadie played with the new toys Slater had given her rather than the suitcase full she’d brought with her. It was great having my little sister with me, although she didn’t seem like a little sister at all. With the responsibility of having Sadie, and just always having had to be older given life circumstances, she seemed much wiser than I.
“How was your date?”
I couldn’t quite meet her eyes. “It was good.”
“What did you do?”
“Oh, not much.” I cleared my throat. “Went to a movie.”
“Really? What movie?”
I bit into my toast, trying desperately to remember what movies were out now.
“Mac.” She leaned toward me and touched my hand. “I know you weren’t with Slater last night.”
I didn’t say anything.
“He left his house an hour after you did.”
Still, nothing.
“You two okay?”
“What?”
“Did something happen between you and Slater?”
“No, nothing.” I dropped my toast onto my plate and swallowed a big sip of coffee.
“How are you making enough money to be sending me the amounts you’re sending working at the bookstore, Mac?”
Crap.
She continued. “I’m your sister. I love you. I know all you’ve done for me, for Sadie. I would never judge you, Mac, and I want the best for you.”
“You don’t want to know, Janey.”
I got up and collected her dish and mine.
“Mac?”
She followed me into the kitchen. I busied myself at the sink, rubbing the sleeve of my shirt across my face to swipe away stray tears.
“Stop. Look at me.”
“Just leave me be.”
“Stop.”
She shut off the water and took me by the arms, forcing me to face her.
“Are you…shit.” She glanced away, then back. “Mac, are you a prostitute?”
“What?”
“A prosti—”
“No! I am not a prostitute!” I laughed, hugging her, breathing a sigh of relief. Stripping suddenly didn’t seem as terrible to say out loud. And I wasn’t ashamed of doing it. Well, it’s not that I felt pride, it was simply necessary.
I took her arms. “I’m not a prostitute. I would never do that. I’m a…dancer.”
Her eyebrows rose high on her forehead. “A dancer?”
I gave her a minute, letting her put two and two together, but when she remained silent, I added, “Well, I’m not a ballerina dancing at midnight, sis!”
“Shit, I get it, Mac! You’re stripping.”
“Yeah.” I turned my attention back to the dishes in the sink, and she let me. “I only dance. I don’t do anything else, no private dances, no private rooms.” I left out the one night with Slater. “I don’t even take my panties off.” Panties was a big word, but she didn’t need to know that.
She leaned against the counter, her eyes on Sadie playing in the living room as I dried my hands.
“You shouldn’t have to do that. I have a good feeling about this job. You can stop, Mac.”
“I don’t want to have this conversation, Janey. You need the money. We need the money.”
“What, for Bill?”
I made enough to pay my rent and make ends meet at the bookstore, although without much leftover after that. The money from stripping, it covered the rest.
“Bill hasn’t been back since that one time,” I said.
“But he will be. He’ll be back for more as long as we allow it.” She went to Sadie and sat on the floor with her, her face lined with worry. “We need to stop him. We need him out of our lives for good.”
But there was only one way to do that: go public with what he’d done to my little sister. I couldn’t imagine doing that to her. To Sadie. I joined them in the living room, picked up Sadie, and sat with her on my lap on the couch.
“You two are the most important people in my life. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Listen, let’s shelve this. We’ll talk about it later, okay?”
She nodded and got up on her knees and hugged me. “I love you so much.”
“Me too.”
“And I like Slater,” she said. “I think he’s good for you.”
“Me too.”
“I think he liked Sa
die too. Sweet of him to bring those toys.”
“He’s thoughtful. He told me about his little girl.”
“He mentioned something when he helped me with Sadie. Actually, it was quite cryptic. Said something like she wasn’t his.”
“She’s not his biological daughter. She’s Nick’s.”
Janey stared at me, processing. “So his ex and Nick, all that time…”
“I think so. It explains why he left her behind. How he could. But he misses her.”
“Seeing Sadie probably made him miss her more.”
I checked my watch. “I have to get going to work. You sure you’re okay here?”
“We’ll go check out the town and walk on the beach. We’ll be fine. I don’t think Bill wants to run into me anymore than I want to run into him. The point of his extorting money from you is making you believe he’ll do something like that, but he’s a coward. Always was.”
“Well, if you need anything, you know where to find me.”
I kissed the top of Sadie’s head and said good-bye to Janey, waving from my car on my way to the bookstore. All day, one thought played on my mind. Having Janey and Sadie in my house, it felt right. And now that Slater was here, now that Bill had found me, what reason was there for her to return to New Jersey? That had been to keep her safe from Bill and protect her from the gossips, but those things? They were past. There was no reason to not have them here with me.
A little after lunchtime, Janey and Sadie surprised me with a visit.
Sadie came charging up to me, her hands in her pockets, her nose running from the cool winter air. “Look!”
Janey rolled her eyes but behind it, I saw pride. “She’s got half the beach in her pockets, shoes, pants…you name it.”
On cue, Sadie pulled two pudgy hands out of her pockets, sand slipping through her fingers and onto the floor. I laughed, squatting down to take those hands in mine before giving her cold-reddened cheek a kiss.
“Did you leave any on the beach?”
She looked confused for a minute. “Silly Mac.”
“I have news.” Janey smiled so big, she beamed.
I straightened. “What news?”
“I got a call from the day care. I got the job!”
“The day care? You did? That’s fantastic!” I hugged her, squeezing her tight, not sure about the news being at all fantastic because it meant she’d have to go home soon. “When do you start?”
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