“How many women have you been with?”
“Four.”
“Only four?” Rakell had only been with one man but Jerzy was gorgeous. He could have a different woman every week.
“You’ll be surprised to hear that I am usually a gentleman. I don’t see sex as casual or recreational and I like to take things slow. You, however, are an exception to my slow-and-steady practice. Something about you sends me into overdrive, makes me reckless, impatient, a beggar.”
Rakell’s heart raced. A current of heat swept down from her chest, across her stomach and made contact with the sensitive areas that Jerzy had awakened in the darkness of the alley. To know that she was driving Jerzy wild was just as empowering as it was weakening. In that moment, she admitted to herself that his male urge to take her was equally as strong as her womanly desire to be taken by him. Both of them were struggling to maintain control of the attraction flowing between them. “Why did they want to leave you?” she asked out of confusion.
He sighed. “Um…,” he scratched at his cheek, “I want to say that they just weren’t right for me, but I’m the one that made them not right. I pour my entire self into the relationship. All my efforts go into making my woman feel beautiful and strong. I spoiled them and complimented them until they were built up so tall that they started to believe they deserved someone better than me. Or they can’t accept how deeply I care about them. Lots of women say they want a guy like me, but when they have me they walk all over me or run away. Either I’m too good to be true or too nice to be respected. It’s the bastards they want to stay with. It’s the dudes that make them feel like shit that get ten years of their devotion.”
“In my case, thirteen years.”
Jerzy’s mouth tightened into a disgusted grimace. “I’m letting you know right now, for his safety, you shouldn’t ever tell me his name.”
Rakell smiled, flattered by his loathing of the man who hurt her. Her smile faded as she thought of Jerzy’s heartache. “I understand how you feel about your past relationships. It’s torture to give and give and give, only to be spat on and thrown away.”
He nodded. “Sometimes I wish I knew some other way to be.” He poured more wine in his glass.
“Are you sure you should drink another glass of that wine? You have to drive me home.”
Jerzy froze in the middle of bringing the glass to his mouth. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He put the glass down and pushed it away from him. “I swear I’m not a drunk,” he laughed, “I’m just nervous.”
“Nervous?”
“Yeah. You make me nervous, Beautiful.”
She blushed. “Oh come on! You have been nothing short of bold from the day we met.”
“Yeah, well, lust makes a man very bold. But I’m feeling something deeper than lust right now. Something important. I suspected there would be a connection. Now I’m sure. I’m nervous I’ll say the wrong thing, come on too strong and scare you off.”
Her smile was soft and loving. “I’m still here.”
Jerzy exhaled a silent sigh of relief and contentment. He grinned. “I’ve been bold, yes, but if I had approached you in a sweet and quiet way, you would have treated me like a sad, misdirected little puppy.”
“You’re right. You know me so well,” she laughed.
“It feels that way.” He nodded.
Rakell fell silent.
“I have accomplished a lot in my life already, but there is still a piece missing. One missing puzzle piece. I wonder if it’s you. I hope that it’s you.”
Rakell’s heart leapt.
“Sorry. That was an example of me being too intense. It’s customary that you sprint out of the restaurant now,” he chuckled.
“Don’t be sorry. You’re being honest.” She drank some water and dried her lips with the white cloth napkin. “Jerzy, you are…the strangest man I’ve ever met,” she chuckled lightly.
Jerzy laughed. “I’ve heard that one before!”
“By strange I don’t mean weird. I mean that you’re different than most men I’ve known. It’s hard to believe that you’re real…let alone believe that you’re interested in me.”
“I’m real and I’m incredibly interested in you, Rakell. And it’s hard for me to believe that you’re interested back.”
“You are the sweetest man I’ve ever met.”
He nodded and smiled some, uncomfortable with her praise.
“I can’t make you any promises, Jerzy. I’ve only been with one man. I’m not sure I know how to be in a good relationship. I’m not sure what I’m doing with my life or even who I really am. I know that there’s an emptiness in my heart that craves attention, appreciation, respect, generosity, and love from a good, trustworthy man. From someone like you. I hope I can accept what you are offering me.”
“The only way to find out is to keep walking down this path together.”
At the end of the night, Jerzy held her hand in his as he walked her from his car to the front door of her townhouse. Rakell held the long stemmed red rose in her other hand. His hands settled comfortably on her waist once they were standing on the porch. The heat of his hands and the circular movement of his thumbs enlivened her whole body. “May I have a good night kiss?” he teased.
“Of course.” Rakell kissed the side of the rose and then pressed the rose against Jerzy’s lips. They laughed.
“Rose petals do not compare to your sweet mouth,” he complained.
Rakell giggled. “Okay, okay. You can have a taste if you’d like.”
He pulled her in against his body, gazed into her eyes for a few long hot seconds, leaned in and gave her a mild peck on the lips. He pulled away and smirked.
Rakell blinked up at him. “That’s it? But—”
Jerzy’s lips crashed against hers, silencing all complaints. His tongue delved into her mouth and Rakell submitted to his skill. He slowly sucked at the tip of her tongue, coaxing her tongue into his mouth. He stroked at it again and again, elevating her excitement with each flourish of his tongue. His hand was gliding sensuously across the silky fabric of her little red dress, up and down her back, closer and closer to her backside. He pulled his tongue away and gently nibbled and sucked at her bottom lip. Rakell shivered, struggling to reign in her lust. Her legs were parting. Her groin was pressing closer to his. She wanted to invite him to bed, but she was afraid and ashamed to allow it. She needed some time to think, to process what their conversation at dinner meant without his charming smile and firm body clouding her judgment. She broke the kiss. “I can’t,” she breathed.
“Okay,” he whispered. He planted another soft kiss on her lips before loosening his hold on her and letting his hands slip away from her body. “Dobranoc.”
“Dobra…?”
“It means ‘Good night’. Dobranoc, Rakell.” His eyes were dark with desire.
“Dobranoc,” she repeated with a dazed smile on her face. She opened her clutch purse and fumbled for the key to the front door. She could feel Jerzy’s fiery gaze on her back. Finally she had the right key in her hand. As she pushed it into the lock she felt Jerzy near her. Before she could turn around his hand was on her stomach and he pulled her behind firmly against his groin. Rakell’s abdominal muscles tensed and her eyes fluttered closed as pleasure shot through her body. His hardness was pressed against her backside. He graced the nape of her neck with a touch from his warm lips. “I’m ready when you are,” he whispered. He rubbed his hand on her stomach in a slow circle. He could feel her tension. His touch was not relaxing her as he’d hoped. His need for her was agonizing, but he wasn’t going to pressure her. “I’ll call you tomorrow, Beautiful.” Reluctantly, he released her and went to his car.
Though her fingers were shaking, her panties were damp, and her thighs were quivering, Rakell managed to open the front door and retreat into the house just as the rumble of the Camaro’s engine cut into the quiet night air.
V
Early Saturday morning, Rakell sat at her dining ro
om table with her legs curled up in the seat of the wooden chair. She nursed a lukewarm cup of green tea as she stared down at the blank piece of paper sitting in front of her on the table. She hadn’t slept well. At around 6:30 in the morning, she got out of bed determined to make a decision about Jerzy, about continuing down the path. It was now almost 9 o’clock. The paper and pen sat untouched, with a plate of toast crumbs and a half empty mug keeping it company. She’d intended to make a Pros and Cons list, but found herself afraid to start. If she began the list, she might find that the negatives outweighed the positives and her heart wasn’t ready to face that. Instead, over and over again she replayed her interactions with Jerzy, from the second her eyes met his on the first day of class, up until their convergence last night outside her front door.
Rakell had never wanted a man the way she wanted Jerzy Piotrowsky, to the point of stubbornness and recklessness. Her whole life she worried about what other people would think of her. She’d almost fainted last night thinking about how others would react. But today she didn’t care. Her life was empty of the family, adventure, success and love that she dreamed of. What did it matter if her life as she knew it crumbled? Maybe something beautiful and strong would rise from the ashes. For so many years she’d followed someone else’s rules. It was time she followed her own. Rakell picked up the pen and began scribbling the first rule down. She read it aloud. “Rule #1: As long as you’re not hurting anybody, do what makes you happy.” She smiled and dropped the pen. Rakell realized that no other rules were necessary. The one person she worried about hurting was Jerzy. If their thing became public it might ruin his business reputation. She couldn’t live with herself if she destroyed his passion. As long as she kept their meetings private, Jerzy would be safe. Other than that, she saw no reason she shouldn’t continue seeing him. Happy tears trickled down from the corners of her brown eyes. “He makes me happy. Fuck the rest.”
Jerzy called Rakell that afternoon while she was out buying groceries. She could detect the smile in his voice.
“Hello, Beautiful. Did you sleep well last night?”
She grinned. “No, thanks to you.”
“Sorry. I didn’t either, thanks to you.”
“It’s only fair.”
He laughed. “I can’t get you out of my mind, Rakell,” he sighed in his deep voice.
Butterflies took flight in her stomach. “It feels good that someone is thinking of me.”
“I owe you an apology for my behavior last night. I genuinely like you and respect you. I just wasn’t thinking with the right head. I will never attack you like that again.”
“Hmmm. Never say never.”
There was a pause. “Are you joking?”
She giggled. “Nope.”
“Where are you? If you’re home I can be there in twenty minutes,” he laughed.
“I’m at the grocery store. Sorry.”
“So, um, I was wondering if you’d be busy this evening, around 6? My aunt is on vacation and she left me the key to her apartment to keep the plants watered and make myself at home if I choose. She lives on the top floor of her building and she has this beautiful terrace garden I want you to see. I’ll feed you, too. How’s that sound?”
“Suddenly my schedule is empty.”
“Awesome,” he chuckled. “I can’t wait to see you.”
“Be patient.” Rakell stopped her shopping cart and stooped down to pick up a sack of flour from the bottom shelf.
“Alright. I’ll pick you up at 6. Take care.”
“Okay. See you later, Jerzy.” As she stood with the flour in her hand, she lifted her eyes to see her red-haired student Tim McAllister standing right in front of her shopping cart. She gasped.
“Professor Dunn. How are you?” He smiled uncomfortably.
“Good.” Rakell swallowed, shoved her cell phone into her purse and put on a smile. “I’m just getting my shopping done. How are you?”
“I’m great, stocking up on Ramen. Were you…were you just on the phone with JP?”
“JP?” She feigned confusion.
“Yeah. Jerzy Piotrowsky?”
“Oh! Yes, that, uh, that was him. If I’d known some of my students would be so neurotic about my assignments I would have never put my number on the syllabus.” She forced out a chuckle.
Tim smiled. “I see. Well, enjoy your weekend Professor Dunn.”
“Thanks. See you Monday.” Tim continued walking down the aisle. “Shit,” she murmured under her breath. She needed to be more careful. No using Jerzy’s name while out in public. She’d told Tim a little white lie. Her office number was on the syllabus, not her cell number. Hopefully Tim wasn’t so nosy that he’d ever figure it out. Rakell started to feel the weight of guilt and shame, but pushed the inclination away. I didn’t hurt Tim. I’m not hurting anyone.
Half an hour later, Rakell was home putting the groceries away. Her cell phone rang. It was Jerzy.
“Hey. What’s up?”
“Hey, Sweetheart. Uh, I’ve got bad news.”
Rakell’s heart sunk. “What? Did Tim say something to you?”
“Huh?”
“I…I ran into Tim McAllister at the grocery store while I was on the phone with you.”
“No, I didn’t talk to Tim. You think he knows?”
“I’m not sure. I told him you were calling me about schoolwork.”
“Don’t worry, Sweetheart. He’s cool. Even if he knows, he wouldn’t talk about it.”
She exhaled in relief. “Okay.”
“The bad news is that I’m going to have to cancel our date tonight. I got a tip from a friend of mine, another restaurant owner, that some really important food critics are going to be making their way downtown tonight to checkout Smak. I’ve gotta be there to make sure everything goes well. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’m sure the critics are going to fall in love with the restaurant the way I did, so don’t worry too much, Honey.”
“Thanks. That’s just what I needed to hear. Are you home right now? I have a gift I want to give you.”
“Is that what they’re callin’ it these days?”
“No!” He laughed. “Nothing like that. It’s a consolation gift since I’m canceling on you.”
“I see. Yeah, I’m home. When will you be here?”
“Forty minutes or so?”
“Okay. I’ll be waiting, Santa.”
He smiled. “Christmas comes early for you because you’ve been a very good girl.”
“Hmm. Or is it because I’m very naughty?”
“Mmm. I’m learning that you are a perfect combination of both. See you soon, Beautiful.”
Grinning, Rakell ended the phone call. She was really enjoying herself with Jerzy now that she had The Rule firmly planted in her mind. Playfulness and affectionate words naturally flowed throughout their conversations. As she put away the last of the groceries, she worried about what she should change into. She wished she had time to go to the mall and buy a new outfit. Nothing she owned seemed good enough. “Wait a minute,” she grumbled to herself. “I’m happy in my tank top and jeans.” The only change Rakell made was to change her stud earrings to a more stylish pair of blue and white feather earrings to match her white tank top and light blue jeans. When she answered the front door, Jerzy kissed her on the cheek and walked into the house wearing a black Armani suit with a white dress shirt, no tie. A small blue gift bag dangled from his hand.
“You look so handsome,” Rakell smiled as her eyes appreciated his thick shiny brown hair, neatly trimmed facial hair and the impeccable suit he was wearing.
Jerzy grinned, crinkling the corners of his expressive green eyes, and closed the front door behind him. He kissed her on the cheek again as he squeezed her in a tight hug. “Thank you.” He stepped back from her. “This is for you.”
She took the tiny blue gift bag and searched inside of it. Her eyes widened at the gold plastic card in her hand. “A credit card?”
“It’s a gift
card. I want you to go out with your girlfriends to the mall, shop and have fun today.”
She held the card from one corner like it was contaminated. “Um…how much is on here?”
“15.”
She sighed. “That’s a relief. Thanks.” She smiled. “I’m sure I can find a really cute top for 15 bucks.”
Jerzy laughed. “No, hundred.”
“What?! $1,500? I thought I told you that I don’t want to feel like I owe you anything. All I want is to spend time with you. You don’t have to spoil me like this.”
He rubbed her bare shoulder. “And I told you that I can’t help myself. You deserve much more than these little things I’m giving you, but it makes me truly happy to see you appreciate them.” His warm hand slid down the length of her arm and caught her hand. He pressed his lips to the top of it. “I’ve gotta get to the restaurant. Relax and pamper yourself, okay?” He headed out the door.
Profess Your Love Page 4