by Lauren Lane
Elinor had always thought it would be more prudent for them to settle at some distance from Norland, than immediately amongst their present acquaintance. On that head, therefore, it was not for her to oppose her mother’s intention of removing into Devonshire, though she feared she would now be forced to leave without ever securing the chance to see her intentions with Edward through. The house, too, as described by Sir John, was on so simple a scale, and the rent so uncommonly moderate, as to leave her no right of objection on either point; and, therefore, though it was not a plan which brought any charm to her fancy, though it was a removal from the vicinity of Norland beyond her wishes, she made no attempt to dissuade her mother from sending a letter of acquiescence.
CHAPTER V
No sooner was her answer dispatched, than Mrs. Dashwood indulged herself in the pleasure of announcing to her son-in-law and his wife that she was provided with a house, and should incommode them no longer than till every thing were ready for her inhabiting it. They heard her with surprise. Mrs. John Dashwood said nothing; but her husband civilly hoped that she would not be settled far from Norland. She had great satisfaction in replying that she was going into Devonshire. Edward turned hastily towards her, on hearing this, and, in a voice of surprise and concern, which required no explanation to her, repeated, “Devonshire! Are you, indeed, going there?” He glanced at Elinor in a panic. “So far from hence! And to what part of it?” She explained the situation. It was within four miles northward of Exeter.
“It is but a cottage,” she continued, “but I hope to see many of my friends in it. A room or two can easily be added; and if my friends find no difficulty in travelling so far to see me, I am sure I will find none in accommodating them.”
She concluded with a very kind invitation to Mr. and Mrs. John Dashwood to visit her at Barton; and to Edward she gave one with still greater affection. Though her late conversation with her daughter-in-law had made her resolve on remaining at Norland no longer than was unavoidable, it had not produced the smallest effect on her in that point to which it principally tended. To separate Edward and Elinor was as far from being her object as ever; and she wished to show Mrs. John Dashwood, by this pointed invitation to her brother, how totally she disregarded her disapprobation of the match.
Mr. John Dashwood told his mother again and again how exceedingly sorry he was that she had taken a house at such a distance from Norland as to prevent his being of any service to her in removing her furniture. He really felt conscientiously vexed on the occasion; for the very exertion to which he had limited the performance of his promise to his father was by this arrangement rendered impracticable. The furniture was all sent around by water. It chiefly consisted of household linen, plate, china, and books, with a handsome pianoforte of Marianne’s. Mrs. John Dashwood saw the packages depart with a sigh: she could not help feeling it hard that as Mrs. Dashwood’s income would be so trifling in comparison with their own, she should have any handsome article of furniture.
Mrs. Dashwood took the house for a twelvemonth; it was ready furnished, and she might have immediate possession. No difficulty arose on either side in the agreement; and she waited only for the disposal of her effects at Norland, and to determine her future household, before she set off for the west; and this, as she was exceedingly rapid in the performance of everything that interested her, was soon done. The horses which were left her by her husband had been sold soon after his death, and an opportunity now offering of disposing of her carriage, she agreed to sell that likewise at the earnest advice of her eldest daughter. For the comfort of her children, had she consulted only her own wishes, she would have kept it; but the discretion of Elinor prevailed. Her wisdom too limited the number of their servants to three; two maids and a man, with whom they were speedily provided from amongst those who had formed their establishment at Norland.
The man and one of the maids were sent off immediately into Devonshire, to prepare the house for their mistress’s arrival; for as Lady Middleton was entirely unknown to Mrs. Dashwood, she preferred going directly to the cottage to being a visitor at Barton Park; and she relied so undoubtingly on Sir John’s description of the house, as to feel no curiosity to examine it herself till she entered it as her own. Her eagerness to be gone from Norland was preserved from diminution by the evident satisfaction of her daughter-in-law in the prospect of her removal; a satisfaction which was but feebly attempted to be concealed under a cold invitation to her to defer her departure. Now was the time when her son-in-law’s promise to his father might with particular propriety be fulfilled. Since he had neglected to do it on first coming to the estate, their quitting his house might be looked on as the most suitable period for its accomplishment. But Mrs. Dashwood began shortly to give over every hope of the kind, and to be convinced, from the general drift of his discourse, that his assistance extended no farther than their maintenance for six months at Norland. He so frequently talked of the increasing expenses of housekeeping, and of the perpetual demands upon his purse, which a man of any consequence in the world was beyond calculation exposed to, that he seemed rather to stand in need of more money himself than to have any design of giving money away.
In a very few weeks from the day which brought Sir John Middleton’s first letter to Norland, every thing was so far settled in their future abode as to enable Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters to begin their journey.
The day of Elinor’s departure for Devonshire had come and yet she and Edward had still not taken their relationship beyond mere friendship. She knew his apparent indifference towards her was a sign that she should not broach the subject for risk of being refused and suffering the worst kind of embarrassment, but she also knew she could not spend a lifetime wondering what may have been.
At breakfast that final day, Elinor gathered her courage and slipped Edward a note when the rest of the family was distracted with talk of travel times and the weather.
Meet me behind the stables as soon as you can. Yours, Elinor
She excused herself from the table, offering up an excuse about needing to tend to some last minute packing, and fled from the house.
Her heartbeat galloping, Elinor pressed her back against the stable’s wooden outer wall, and stared out into the forest. If Edward came — oh, dear Lord, please let him come — she would take him to her private place in the woods where she sometimes went to read or think. She’s spent a large amount of time there during the infancy of Fanny and John’s residency at Norland Park, when she’d been trying to get away from their overzealous displays. But since Edward’s arrival, she’d been spending less and less time there, partially because of her desire to be near him at all times and partially because John and Fanny’s constant lovemaking had become quite educational. It was a small hiding place under an ancient tree, its floor smooth with earth and its walls a breezy curtain formed by low-hanging leaves. If Edward came, there would be enough room for the two of them to lie together on the ground in each other’s arms. If Edward came, no one would find them there.
Elinor didn’t have to wait long. Within minutes, Edward appeared around the side of the stable, his face bright and his breathing ragged, as if he had run to meet her. They locked eyes, and then there was silence, as if each was expecting the other to speak first.
After the surprise and elation at seeing her beloved there died down to a manageable level, Elinor realised she should be the one to say something, as she had been the one to invite him. “Mr. Ferrars,” she began and gave a curtsey. “Thank you for meeting me. I know this is all highly unusual.”
“Please, call me Edward.” He grinned a mischievous, excited grin, and Elinor knew at once that she had made the right choice in taking this chance.
She smiled back and took a step towards him. “Very well. Edward. I’m sure you’re wondering why I have summoned you here.”
She stepped closer, but he didn’t respond. He just watched her come nearer, his chest rising and falling with breaths of anticipation.
; When she was no more than a few inches away, Elinor reached out and ran her hands over Edward’s strong, masculine shoulders. “I just wanted to make sure I had the chance to say goodbye properly,” she said, gaining confidence.
“I am very glad you did,” Edward said on no more than a whisper. Suddenly there was a hunger in his eyes that reminded Elinor of the way he had looked in her fantasy. He pulled her to him, effectively eliminating the remaining space between them, and brought his mouth to hers.
The moment their lips touched, Elinor’s whole body responded. She tasted him ravenously, his lips, his tongue, even his teeth. This kiss was different than it had been in her dreams. It was more raw, more urgent, more magical. She suddenly knew that whatever happened between them to-day would far surpass her wildest fantasies, and she knew that she would never get enough.
As Edward’s hands travelled down her neck and began to slide her sleeves off her shoulders, Elinor came back to herself enough to realise that they were too exposed here and that they needed to get to her secret place before things went any farther. She broke away from him, gasping, and grabbed his arm, pulling him into the woods.
“Where are we going?” Edward asked, his eyes glowing with happy astonishment, as if he could hardly believe what was happening but wasn’t about to question it.
“Somewhere private,” was all Elinor said, and led him into her hiding place.
He looked around in wonder at the concealment the branches of the old tree offered and then directed his attention back to Elinor, his lips curving into a smile. “And just what do you intend to do with me here, Miss Dashwood?”
Elinor laughed. “Please, call me Elinor.” And she unbuttoned his breeches.
In a frenzy, the couple tore at each other’s clothing until they were naked. They stood before each other, gazing at one another’s bodies, at the foreignness and familiarity of it all.
Edward’s gaze lingered on Elinor’s full, round breasts, bouncing ever so slightly as she breathed unevenly with eagerness. Her nipples were pale and perfectly circular and had budded to tiny, inviting peaks. His eyes travelled farther down, across her smooth, pale stomach to the patch of hair between her legs. He knew it would be soft and warm in there, like home, and he yearned to bury himself inside and get lost forever.
Elinor tried to focus on Edward’s muscled chest, his firm stomach, his strong thighs, wanting to take in every inch of him, but she could not help but stare at the rock hard protrusion jutting out from between his legs. It was pointing out towards her, as if reaching. It was unlike anything she’d ever seen.
Slowly, gently, she reached out and touched it. Edward moaned and responded by grabbing her breasts in his large hands. He rolled her nipples, which were responding in much the same way his manhood was, between his fingers. The sensation was incredible, and Elinor began to rub his erection more forcefully. Edward’s audible response encouraged her, and she kept going, working her hands over his shaft rhythmically, but suddenly Edward pulled back from her, leaving her hands empty. She looked up at him, confused, not at all satisfied.
“If you keep doing that,” he explained, “we won’t be able to … I mean, that is to-day, if you wanted to … ” He trailed off, suddenly seeming unsure. Could he still not know that she wanted him in every way possible?
Elinor smiled, grabbed his hand, and pulled him down on top of her. She spread her legs wide, knees pointing toward the canopy of leaves above them and watched his arm muscles bulge as he held himself above her. She positioned herself so that his erection was hovering just outside her opening, and she leaned forward for another deep, passionate kiss. Apart from what she’s overheard in her house, Elinor still didn’t understand much about the way things worked between a man and a woman, but she trusted what her body was telling her. She knew, beyond any shadow of doubt, that she wanted Edward inside her. Why wasn’t he taking action? Why was he teasing her so? She lifted her hips, wordlessly inviting him to press himself down on her, when he moved his own hips back slightly, keeping an inch of tauntingly cruel space between them. She looked at him questioningly.
“Elinor, are you sure?” Edward’s face was a mess of emotions — worry, want, kindness, hope, and still that delightfully endearing pinch of disbelief. “You will no longer be a maid.”
“I know what I’m committing to, Edward. I have thought of nothing else for months. And I have come to the realisation that remaining a maid for my future husband, while appealing, is nothing compared with the chance to be with you before I leave. This is what I want.” She smiled. “Besides, perhaps you may be the man I marry.”
Edward’s expression turned to shock and he began to say something, but Elinor could not wait any longer. In one swift movement, she pulled him to her by the buttocks and he slipped inside her with ease. They both cried out.
There was some pain, but Elinor had been experimenting with herself quite often over the past weeks and she had readied herself for this. Her body knew just how to respond, and soon the pain was gone, replace by a pleasure so great she was half certain that this wasn’t real at all, that she was still inside one of her fantasies.
Edward gazed into her eyes in awe and began to move above her. She rocked and writhed under him, and he grinned as, unbelievably soon, she reached her peak and screamed and exploded around him.
Edward watched Elinor’s breasts tremble as her tremors subsided, unable to believe his luck. Was this truly happening? Was the woman he’d dreamed about every night since he’d come to Norwood actually here with him now? Had he really just made her experience the same type of pleasure he felt as he took himself in his hand each night in his room? Emboldened by the knowledge that he had this kind of power, he thrust himself more deeply inside her and began to pick up speed.
“Oh, yes, Edward, yes!” she cried as he plunged into her over and over. She raked her fingernails across his back, and the sharp sensation combined with everything else his body was experiencing at that moment, bringing him over the edge. But he had just enough presence of mind remaining to know that he could not reach completion within her. He was already ignoring all the reasons why he should not be here with Elinor, already too aware that, no matter how irresistible her requests, he was doing the ungentlemanly thing by acquiescing. He was not going to leave her with child as well. He pulled out of her quickly and spilled his seed onto the dirt ground beside them. Then he collapsed on top of her and they held each other tightly.
After some time, as the sweat on their bodies began to cool, Edward rolled off Elinor and they lay on their sides and stared into one another’s eyes. There was no embarrassment, no regret. They had never been happier.
“Are you sure you have never done that before?” he asked her.
Elinor giggled. “Oh, I’m sure. Why do you ask?”
“It’s just that you are so … good at it.”
Elinor reveled in the compliment, but then a disconcerting thought struck her. “Do you mean … are you comparing me to other women you’ve had?” She paused. “What I mean to say is … I have heard that there are places in town where men go to have their needs gratified … ”
Edward reached out and smoothed the line between Elinor’s brows with his thumb. “No. I assure you, you are the first woman I have ever been with. I was saving myself for marriage. It is true that not many men have the willpower nor inclination to do so, but it has been something I have always wanted … ” He trailed off.
Again, Elinor felt both relief and dismay. “Oh, no. And I have ruined that for you. Oh, Edward, I am so sorry — ”
Edward laughed. “Hush, you silly woman. Since I met you, I have wanted nothing more than you in my arms.”
Elinor let out her breath. “Truly?”
“Truly.”
They kissed — lightly and gently at first, but it soon grew more urgent, and they got lost in each other once again. Remarkably, this time was even better — there was no pain, no hesitation, no worry. They took each other with all the confid
ence in the world, striving to ease the endless craving they felt for one another.
Some time later, Elinor knew she must speak the inevitable. “I am leaving to-day.”
“Yes,” Edward replied, and they lapsed into a sad silence.
A few moments went by, and Elinor got up, brushed the dirt from her body, and began to dress. Edward wordlessly did the same. When they were presentable once more, they stood there, staring into each other’s eyes, searching for the right words to say.
“Elinor,” Edward said finally, “regarding what you said earlier … about the possibility of marriage … ”
“Yes?” Elinor’s heart began to lift. Was he about to propose? Would she not have to leave him after all?
“There is something I haven’t told you … something I must tell you … ”
“Yes?”
But they got no farther. The moment was interrupted by the call of Elinor’s mother, searching for her daughter. “Elinor!” Mrs. Dashwood called from the edge of the woods. “Elinor, where are you? We must be going!”
Elinor looked to Edward in despair. “I have to go.”
He nodded, looking down at the forest floor.
“But please — what were you to say?”
He shook his head. “It does not matter.”
Elinor’s hope extinguished. He did not want to marry her. That’s all right, she reminded herself. You knew that was a possibility. You knew you weren’t doing this for a proposal. You did this because you wanted to. And now it is done and it was more than you knew to wish for. That is all.