by P J Mann
Flavius glared at him with an open mouth. “A…wife?” “Who is she? Why have you never talked to me about your plans? Maybe I would have had something to say about it.”
“I’m not saying you will marry her now. At the moment, we are planning the engagement party, where the wedding contract will be sealed.” Marcus Tiberius reasoned. “It has always been this way. My father chose Flaminia for me, and she has been devoted and beloved by me. Now I have to think about your future too.”
“Who is she? May I know that, or should it be a surprise as well?” Flavius asked with sarcasm thick in his voice.
“Enough with that tone! You are disrespecting my authority, and I’m not going to tolerate it any further.”
“I’m sorry, Father. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful to you; it is just...it took me by surprise…”
“Never mind; I understand your concern. I had the same reaction when my father announced that he had found a wife for me. The girl is Claudia, Lucius Claudius’ daughter. Indeed, you might remember her. I'm confident she will be a loyal wife, not counting the fact that Claudius will guide you through your future career. This is an excellent opportunity for you.”
“A faithful wife? That despicable, selfish, arrogant creature? Father, please, it can’t be true; you can’t seriously mean that you want me to marry her,” Flavius protested, raising his voice.
“You might remember her as a little child, but she has grown up. She is beautiful and well educated. Be reasonable, Flavius, it will be an advantageous contract, particularly if you want to become a lawyer,” Marcus Tiberius tired of his refusals and his voice started to tremble with impatience.
“No, Father, please, anyone but her,” he pleaded.
“Stop behaving like a child. This has been decided, and you will do it,” Marcus Tiberius yelled.
Flavius thought about Saul. Maybe this is how a slave feels when he must obey orders. He was trapped and knew he had no choice but to submit to his father’s will.
Then, perhaps he might have still a chance to improve the deal.
“So it shall be, Father. I will marry Claudia but under one condition…”
“You are not in any position to give conditions, son, but I will listen to your request anyway.” Marcus Tiberius was curious to know what was in his mind.
“I know that, but I want your slave as a wedding gift. I want Saul to become my slave. He will help me in my work,” Flavius replied firmly.
His father glared at him with surprise. “You truly like him.” After a pause, he said, “Agreed, my son; the slave will be yours.”
“The point is not whether I like him or not. I do like him, but I will need a friend, an ally in that house if I have to deal with that woman every day,” Flavius replied victoriously.
Marcus Tiberius’ expression darkened. “Flavius, we are not talking about war, and you shall give all due respect to your wife. You have time to get to know her better and discover the other qualities she might have, of which you don’t have the slightest idea. At no time should she be overshadowed by the presence of a slave. He is just something you own for your convenience, not a tool to get revenge on your wife. Even if you use him to satisfy other pleasures, your wife should always come first, for she is the one you will share your life with.” Marcus grabbed Flavius by the shoulders, staring into his eyes.
“But” Flavius interrupted.
“No buts. If you like Saul, you should understand that a jealous wife could seek revenge on him, so he will suffer the consequences of being between you two. Do you think this is fair toward your slave?”
Flavius remained silent for a while, thinking about what his father said. He was right, and this made him feel even more trapped than before. More than trapped, he felt guilty for thinking something like that, and selfish for having considered bringing Saul into that situation.
His father was right on other matters as well. Even though he’d only known Saul for a short time, he felt like he’d known him forever, and felt affection for him. Moreover, he’d fallen in love with his voice.
“Father, I'm sorry,” Flavius said, trying to calm down.
Marcus Tiberius called for a slave, and Caleb came. “Yes, Master.”
“Get Saul. I have to talk to him.”
Caleb departed then returned with Saul.
Saul stood before Flavius and Marcus Tiberius, apprehension on his face. “Did you want to talk to me, Master?”
“Yes, there will be some changes in your life. Flavius will be fourteen years old next month. Soon after, he will attend his engagement ceremony where he will meet his future wife. As I expected, he didn’t take the news with enthusiasm, but he accepted it on one condition, which I granted him.
“The condition was an unusual gift. He wants you to be his slave and serve in his house when he marries his fiancée.”
Saul felt confused and started looking around, without anything to say. He didn’t know what would be expected of him in his new life. He recently realized that he was lucky to be in a home with fair Masters, and now he was supposed to leave it. Moreover, he liked Mistress Flaminia and he felt sorry he had to leave her.
Most of his disappointment came from the fact he would no longer serve Marcus Tiberius. He could almost say he felt attracted to him, and the ease with which he gave him away as a wedding gift slashed his heart like the clawed hand of a demon.
He knew Flavius was a kind and fair Master, but would his new Mistress be kind or cruel? Would his life be good or bad? What should he expect? The only positive thing was that Flavius would be with him.
He looked at Marcus Tiberius and then veered his gaze down to avoid his searching eyes. “I understand, Master,” Saul replied mumbling.
“I am expecting you to serve him and his wife with loyalty,” Marcus Tiberius added.
“Yes, Master,” Saul said, almost whispering. His mind fell into deeper consideration of what his life was about and what it would become.
As he was dismissed, he left without even looking up where he was walking trying to reach the slaves’ rooms, hoping sleep would rescue him from his tumbling thoughts.
Later, he arrived in the kitchen for dinner, still mulling over the news, trying to find peace of mind.
Cassandra’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Saul, you look upset. What happened? Did you disappoint our Master?” Her face reflected alarm.
“I am not in trouble, but it seems I won’t have much more time in this house. I am to be transferred to a new Master.”
“What do you mean? Are you being sold? Why…when?”
“The point is that soon Master Flavius is going to attend his engagement ceremony and he asked his father to give me to him as a wedding present. I presume this will happen in about six years, but still… I feel as if I can get used to living in this house and serving Master Marcus Tiberius. Maybe if I hadn’t known that, I wouldn’t have felt so confused.” he replied, He looked into her green eyes. “And I…I think I will miss you.”
Cassandra giggled. “That is sweet, Saul. I will miss you too, and don’t you worry, I will teach you how to take care of your hair. I will miss combing your locks, they are so soft.” She held Saul’s hand gently in her own. “This is how it happens to us. We are mere property. You have become a gift for Flavius. Be glad that you know your Master at least, and you like each other. I would not be too worried about the new mistress if I were you. Everything will be fine. I am confident Marcus Tiberius took scrupulous care in choosing the right match for his son, not only for her qualities as a wife but also as a mistress of the slaves who will serve in their house.”
He gasped as he sat on a chair, falling again into the depth of his thoughts.
It felt odd to think of himself as an object, but at that moment, he felt exactly like that. It was difficult to realize that the person who treated him the fairest was not Flavius or Flaminia, but Marcus Tiberius. He never tried to make Saul’s new condition milder with the fake appearance of friendship or a
sort of motherly love. He gently, yet firmly, drew the boundaries of his life as a slave. He was the one who didn’t confuse him with useless, futile words to hide the truth.
Saul felt hollow, meaningless, and lonely.
Then he understood Caleb’s words. It would have been better for him to forget about his past. Memories felt like ghosts haunting his soul with their unattainability.
He felt his childhood depart.
He ate his meal listlessly, barely enjoying it.
Without saying a word, he trudged toward the dorm.
As soon as Saul’s head touched the pillow, the dam holding back his tears broke, somewhat relieving his soul, but the knowledge that he had a new reality to face refused to fade.
When he became a slave, he had thought it impossible to bend his will to another person, but he’d done it.
Feeling grateful for the fair treatment he’d received from his Master, he thought how lucky he had been... So far. A sob escaped.
Nana came in and sat on his bed. “Is there something I can do to make you feel better?”
He wiped his eyes. “Did Cassandra tell you why I am crying?”
“Yes.” She caressed his hair.
He sighed. “Nana, what are we? Are we just… things?”
“If we are not things, we are considered less than people; we are slaves,” she replied, trying to smile.
He could not recall when he quit being a person. His feelings were still the same. He felt pain the same, but this time, it dug deeper than any other pain he’d ever experienced, as it reached his soul.
“Nana, I am afraid my new Mistress won’t be as kind as Mistress Flaminia. What will happen if she doesn't like me? What could she do?” He grabbed desperately on Nana’s tunic
Nana didn’t know how to explain that cruelty against slaves was not so rare.
How am I supposed to explain this to a twelve-year-old boy?
“Saul, I don’t know your new mistress, but I know Master Flavius, and he won’t let anything awful happen to you. Of this, you can be sure. She can be mean or kind. No matter what her nature is, your duty won’t change. You’ll have to be loyal to her, regardless of the circumstances,” she said, holding him tightly to her.
His heartbeat started to grow faster, and he felt like he had no escape, but she was right. Flavius would stick by his side. His request to own Saul proved that he liked him and didn’t want to part from him. Holding onto those comforting thoughts, and soothed by Nana’s hands stroking his hair, he fell asleep.
The next morning, Flavius woke up in the same mood as when he went to bed. Awful. He wished the pending engagement to Claudia was just a nightmare. His bitterness grew.
On the way to school, Saul said, “Master, this time it is you who isn't speaking much.”
“Yes, I still feel bitter about my father’s decision,” Flavius said briefly.
“About getting married? I think it was thoughtful of him to take care of your future like that.”
“Taking care of my future, yes, but this is ruling my future, and besides, I know Claudia and I don’t like her. I could never love and respect her in the same way my father does my mother.” Flavius shook his head, slowing the pace of his steps. “I don’t want to marry Claudia. I’ve hated her since the first time I met her. She is a selfish, egocentric, cruel, superficial, egoist, and despicable creature, and I don’t want to live my life with her. We can’t hope for the same relationship my father and my mother have. Instead…”
“It seems you are in a trap, Master,” Saul replied, smiling sarcastically.
“And I realize that I am bringing you into the same trap, but I need somebody I can trust in that household. I need you, Saul, more than you can imagine. I will protect you whenever you need it, and I will not let you down.”
“Is she really that terrible, Master?” It seemed that his worries about her were not unfounded.
“My father said that she has changed since her childhood, but I don’t believe that. Evil people never change; they are born evil, and time just confirms their nature. The sole positive thing I can remember about her is her beauty; she is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he recalled.
“When will I meet her?”
“At the party, after the engagement ceremony.”
Considering how odd it sounded even to his ears, it felt right, that even if he were taken as a possession, his owners would properly take care of him. He felt safe, and at that moment, it was enough.
“I think you worry too much, Master. After all, she is nothing but a woman. She is not a monster, and perhaps you are overreacting. Possibly, your father is correct, and she has changed.
“Maybe you’re right, Saul, but I still have this strange feeling. We’ll see,” he said, as they reached the school, and the sun started to light up the sky.
Saul laid the bag on the table and gave Flavius his waxed tablets. Soon, he would leave with Marcus Tiberius. He thought he should let the teacher know.
In the room, a strange silence fell over them. Caius, occupied with reading, barely greeted them as they entered. Antonius and Julius were late as usual. Flavius engaged in commiserating himself, and Saul considered what was so wrong in the lives of the Romans. They had everything, and still, they felt miserable as soon as the smallest thing wasn’t going the way they wanted it.
The teacher came from the back room and looked at his students. “Good morning,” he greeted. At that sudden interruption, the boys stood and greeted back.
“Teacher, I have something to say if I’m allowed,” Saul said.
“Of course, tell me,” he replied.
“In August, I have to undertake a trip with my Master, and I won’t be able to follow your lessons for an entire month. I hope I can make up for the lost time when I return.”
“That’s something we can agree on afterward. Don’t you worry. Just attend to your duties.” The teacher nodded, understanding that there wouldn’t have been anything to do for that, and the top priority for a slave was doing exactly as his Master ordered.
The teacher then started his lesson, but Saul was not able to follow it; his mind focused on the new direction his life was about to take. Just when he thought he found his place, all the cards were messed up on the table and he had no idea what to think.
He felt sorry he had to leave Marcus Tiberius, but at the same time, he felt anger at his betrayal. He had served him loyally, and as a token of gratitude, he gave him away as a wedding gift for his son.
Who am I going to fool? Have I ever thanked a horse for being a good one? Of course not, and if I had a good horse and someone made a reasonable offer to buy it, I would consider the deal. If my son wanted that horse as a wedding gift, I would give it to him without even thinking about it. Maybe I should start to think of myself as a horse, a good one, and soon this horse will have a new owner.
A lump grew in his throat, and tears welled.
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands, hoping no one saw. He shook his head and exhaled deeply to compose himself and follow what the teacher was saying.
Something hit him on his shoulder. He turned his face and saw Caius smirked at him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Saul smirked bitterly back at him and told himself he should not complain so much. His life was still better than that of many other slaves in Rome.
At the end of the lessons, Saul and Flavius were ready to go when Caius called him. “I don’t know why you were crying today. I… well... Whatever is your sorrow, I honestly feel sorry for it. If it helps, we can go to the Thermae together when you have time.”
“Thanks, Caius, that’s kind of you. It was just a foolish moment. For the Thermae, I have no idea if I will ever have time to come with you, but don’t be upset about it. I’m just a slave,” he shrugged, trying to smile.
Caius leaned closer. “I’ve never told anybody because I feel ashamed, my father is a Liberto, so theoretically, I am the son of a slave. Take care, slave.”
Saul remai
ned open-mouthed as he watched him walk away.
“Saul, what are you waiting for? Let’s go home,” called Flavius.
He turned and caught up to with his Master.
“What did Caius have to say?”
“I don’t have the slightest idea, Master. It sounded like an apology, but I can’t fathom the reason why,” Saul replied, confused.
“Well, no matter. Let’s return home. We have to study, and I need to talk to my father. This time, I wish you to be present, as I am going to speak with him about my wedding, and this concerns you as well.”
“Yes, Master.”
Chapter 7.
August arrived, and with it, the day of departure approached sooner than Saul had expected. It came with a great sense of relief.
“So, Saul, are we set to leave?” Marcus Tiberius asked kindly.
“Yes, Master, everything is set,” he replied.
Marcus Tiberius ruffled Saul’s hair and smiled at him. “Then let’s go.”
As they left Rome, Saul’s heart became lighter. All his worries were left at home, and for one entire month, they wouldn't bother him. He hoped that by the time he returned, they would have disappeared, and he could live peacefully until the engagement ceremony. There he would meet his mistress for the first time. At the moment, he preferred not to think about it. He wanted to focus on his duties and enjoy this exclusive time with Marcus Tiberius’ company.
The days passed hectically one after another, allowing him to spend the evenings exchanging a few words with his Master in private.
As Marcus Tiberius owned a conspicuous number of country estates in different parts of the Empire, he hired locals to manage the works. Nevertheless, he needed to travel occasionally to oversee their management. That time, Marcus Tiberius and Saul traveled to the territories of Etruria. The travel distance wasn’t long but visiting the estates, getting updated with the issues raised by the harvest and season, was an extensive work.
The countryside looked to Saul very different than the city of Rome. The vast valleys of the Etrurian inland, contrasting with the reliefs of the mountain belt delimiting it on the east side reminded Saul of his home. Yet, the rich green of the fields and woods was something that marveled him. The summer sun, shining on the afternoon tuned by the song of the birds and the chirping sound of the grasshoppers left him open-mouthed. He wished he had more time to inhale the smell of the meadows, enjoy the singing of birds and the sun on his skin.