by P J Mann
Rufus pursed his mouth glancing at him and felt sorry that he made him remember painful memories. He knew girls were subjected to more mistreatment when they ended up in slavery. In some cases,
like Cassandra and Nana, girls were bought by a good Master.
“You’d better not think about it, Saul. She is probably fine, just as much as you are. She is very young, and there is the probability that she was sold together with your mother,” he tried to ease his friend’s worries.
“You’re right, and it is useless to think about it, trying to guess what cannot be guessed.”
At that moment, Caleb arrived. “How is he doing?” he asked, at Rufus.
“His skin will be better soon.”
“I tried not to hit in the same place, but with twenty lashes, it is difficult, especially in such a small space like your back. I’m sorry I couldn’t do better,” Caleb apologized, glancing at Saul as Rufus stood up from his bed.
“That’s alright, Caleb, you did what you were supposed to, and if I had behaved as I was supposed to, then I wouldn’t have deserved any punishment. Let’s not talk about it anymore.”
“Yes, let’s get some sleep now. Goodnight, Saul.”
Saul felt tired, but he could not fall asleep thinking of what Flavius told him about his new mistress, and all the advice his father gave during the trip to Rome in chains.
His father had reminded him how that this was all a design of God. “As God freed our people from slavery in Egypt, He decided we didn’t deserve the given freedom and made us a slave to Rome. The Master is another, but slavery does not change. We won’t be together anymore, so remember my words and accept your slavery as an order from God, and you shall be rewarded for your faith. Be loyal to your Master, whoever he might be. Be the man I have taught you to be, Saul. From this day on, you shall no more be a child; you shall be and behave like a man.” His father then hugged him in his arms, longer than ever before trying not to cry or to show any weakness. He needed to be strong to give strength to his son. His heart was breaking, as he parted from Saul and glanced into his questioning eyes.
Even with all the faith in God that Saul held in his heart, he could not avoid feeling scared as a lamb brought to the sacrificial altar.
“How can I be worth the Heavens if I even doubt my own God?” he whispered. There was nothing he could do that would change the course of his life. His no longer belonged to him.
So far in his short life, he found himself lucky. He was not free anymore, but at least he was treated well. His mind wandered to the time when Marcus Tiberius had carried him to his new home. Reliving that soothing image and the feelings it engendered, he fell into a peaceful sleep.
Chapter 8.
As each day passed, Saul’s understanding and acceptance of his slavery grew
Thoughts of his family decreased in frequency; the painful memories faded away, like nightmares. Saul found himself able to push them aside as soon as they emerged from the past.
He had a new life and was trying to find his identity, to live as if he’d never known any other condition as if he’d never known freedom.
The bond with Marcus Tiberius grew stronger. Saul felt his life belonged to him and that reality didn’t bother him like it used to. It was almost comforting, and Saul felt protected by his power.
In the beginning, he spent time with him only to help with the translations, at home, and during his trips, then Marcus Tiberius spent his free time with him, as well. Saul became very dear to him, and Marcus Tiberius opened his soul to him whenever he needed to talk to a trusted person, other than his wife.
It was undeniable that Marcus Tiberius fell under the spell of that mild, little and beautiful creature. His heart found in Saul a trusted and dear pet.
He wanted to take back his words and deny the slave to his son. He wanted to keep him for himself as he’d expected to do when he’d bought him, and he felt more affectionate toward him than any other slave.
***
He raised his head from his work and saw Saul standing in silence, waiting for his orders.
“Is there something that bothers you, Master?”
Marcus Tiberius nodded slightly, still half-immersed in his considerations, trying to find a solution to the thoughts that troubled his soul.
“Maybe, Saul… I need your help with this document,” he replied, moving the written paper toward him.
Saul walked to his desk and looked at the paper. He couldn’t understand why he asked for help with such an easy text, but he wrote a note on the translation.
“Here it is, Master.”
“Tomorrow is the engagement ceremony…” Marcus Tiberius started to say.
“So this is what bothers your mind, Master?”
“Yes… somehow it does, even though I know it shouldn’t. Do you think I made a mistake promising you to my son?”
Saul tried to find the right words to answer him. He understood that he didn’t want to leave Marcus Tiberius. Or that the house.
“Master, I am probably the last person you should ask this question, for I feel sad to leave this house. However, you gave your word, and this cannot be taken back. It seems that you would like to keep me here at your service. Am I really so useful that you can’t replace me with another slave?”
Marcus Tiberius thought a bit about the right answer, then he shook his head, relaxing his expression. “I might find slaves even more skilled than you are, but none of them could ever compare to you. I trust you fully, and the kind of relationship I have with you could never be replaced,” he explained, clenching his fist and bringing it to his chest. “I trust that you will try to find the answer to my worries. It sounds odd that I have these feelings for a twelve-year-old boy.
“Nevertheless, the gods gave you another gift besides beauty, your mild character, and intelligence—they gave wisdom beyond your years. I could never find another slave who incorporates all these qualities. You are the most valuable of my slaves.” he replied sadly, letting his hand falling opened on his lap.
Saul had no words.
“Master, why don’t you talk with Master Flavius? Better to tell him these worries. I have no solution this time.”
“You’re right again. You can go now. I need to cogitate on this. I will call when I need you.”
“Yes, Master, thank you,” he replied, and with a slight bow, he walked away from the room.
As he walked through the house toward the garden, Flavius called him.
“Saul.”
“Yes, Master,” he turned his face toward the direction of the voice.
“I need to talk to you concerning tomorrow.”
“Are you nervous about it?”
“I am, and I thought that you might help me out,” he replied, uncertainty in his tone.
“How can I help you?”
“Well, I know that tomorrow you will be busy serving our guests, but I would like to introduce you to Claudia. I wish you to be around when I need you.”
Saul was baffled. “If I have to serve your guests, how can I be around? The patio is large, and the guests are going to be numerous.
Flavius sighed. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he didn’t want to be with Claudia the whole time. Certainly, this was what was supposed to happen, but the idea scared him.
“Master, she is not a monster. She is just a woman. How can she possibly elicit such fear in you?”
“I don’t know, and I am not scared. I don’t like her, and I don’t want to spend the entire afternoon in her company.”
Saul shook his head, amused. From his point of view, his Master was overreacting to his engagement.
“Saul, I want you to meet your future mistress so that you can get a picture of the person you will have to serve. Moreover, I need your opinion about her. It is possible I am overreacting; therefore, I need another point of view. Yours,” he reformulated his request.
“Now it starts to make more sense, though I hope I can do that without leaving my o
ther duties neglected. I wouldn’t like to be punished for having misbehaved with your guests at such an important event.”
“You don’t have to worry about this. I am sure the other slaves will be able to take care of them while you are being introduced to Claudia.”
Saul smirked, “I will do everything possible to satisfy your orders.”
“I knew I could count on you. Now you can go wherever you were before I called you, as I have to talk to my father.”
“Goodnight to you, Master.”
***
It was still dark when Saul woke up in a sweat. His heart beat fast, and his breathing was shallow. He could not recall the dream. Perhaps he was nervous about tomorrow when not only Flavius’ future would seal, but also his own.
Unable to go back to sleep, he sat on his bed and looked out the window, at the stars shining in the darkness of the night. A tomb-like quiet prevailed. It seemed he was the only one who could not sleep.
Am I now the one who is overreacting? Shaking his head at the silly idea, he stood and walked in the silence of the house, crossing the fancy decorated room that in a few hours would host the betrothal banquet.
Everything was silently waiting, the beds for the diners, the beautiful vases that would have carried brightly colored flowers.
He admired the decorations in the semidarkness of the night as he walked outside to the garden to breathe the fresh air.
“I thought I was the only one who could not sleep,” said a voice behind him.
Surprised, he turned and saw Marcus Tiberius coming out of the house. “What makes you sleepless, Saul?” he asked, walking toward him.
“I don’t know, maybe it’s just the excitement.”
“I have the same problem. I hope everything will go smoothly, but you don’t have anything to be worried about. Nana has already instructed you.”
Saul could not find any comfort in his words.
“I will follow her the entire day, but it is not serving your guests that worries me. Master Flavius asked me to cover duties I am not sure will be appropriate for tomorrow.”
“What did he order you to do?” Marcus Tiberius asked.
“He wants to introduce me to his fiancée, and I should entertain her, but if I need to serve the guests, I…”
“As she will be your mistress, I consider it appropriate. Don’t worry too much about the other guests.”
Marcus Tiberius raised his hand to stroke Saul’s hair and relaxed at that touch.
Immersed in his thoughts, Saul kept his gaze lowered until Marcus Tiberius’ hand brushing his skin as it moved the hair back to his shoulders.
Saul raised his head toward him with questioning eyes and met Marcus Tiberius’ gaze. In the light of the moon, Marcus Tiberius’ eyes looked sad and worried, and a tear seemed to reflect the light of the moon shining in the cloudless sky.
“Master?” he breathed
Marcus Tiberius continued to stroke his hair absentminded.
Saul turned his head away, savoring his master’s gentle touch. He would miss this. His eyes filled with tears and sadness overwhelmed his heart. It was as if he was, again, losing his home and the things dear to him.
In equal measure, he felt betrayed by the Master he had served loyally since the beginning, but hatred stood at bay.
“Are you crying?” Marcus Tiberius asked.
“No, Master. I’m just tired,” he replied, swallowing bitter tears.
“You are not a good liar, and besides, you shouldn’t lie to me…ever.” Marcus Tiberius hissed toughening his expression.
“Are you going to punish me?” he replied in a sarcastic tone laced with a challenge.
“How dare you speak to me like that?” Marcus Tiberius felt at first surprised by that statement.
Then surprise turned into anger, and his fists clenched, and his expression cringed, into an angry mask.
Nevertheless, as he glanced inside his feelings, he understood Saul’s state of mind and relaxed his body.
“Because I can’t understand why are you getting rid of me so fast. Did I disappoint you? Aren’t you satisfied with me?” His courage faltered into tears.
Saul’s tone surprised Marcus Tiberius.
He took his hand and guided him to sit on a bench with him. “Come, Saul, listen. For this time, and only this time, you are allowed to speak to me as openly and frankly as you wish. I won’t get upset, and you won’t be punished. On the contrary, I will be honest with you too…I am not disappointed, and neither I am dissatisfied. You are the most trusted of my slaves, the one I truly appreciate for many reasons; you are a real treasure, and I feel affection for you…but Flavius is my son. When I told him he was going to marry Claudia, I saw he was disappointed in me, and I didn’t want my own son to think of me as a tyrant. For this reason, when he asked for you to go with him, I agreed, thinking it would fix the rift between us. It seems now that things are not even between you and me, and your tears tell me more than all your words.”
“Master, why did you choose Claudia?”
“Her father is an influential lawyer, and with his help, Flavius will have the possibility of a brilliant career. Claudia’s family will have political advantages when they become members of my family. We are both getting a proficient deal out of this wedding.”
“Why me? Master, I want to stay with you. I understand that I have no rights, but the idea of being away from you… in my heart, I can’t imagine being any place other than here serving you. I want to be at your side, Master.” His voice trembled as tears overflowed.
Marcus Tiberius looked at him, speechless as an invisible hand clasped his heart. Loneliness grabbed his soul at the thought of life without his best slave. He held him tightly against his chest. In the same way, he would have said goodbye to a lover, he kissed Saul, allowing his feelings to permeate through his lips.
As they parted, Saul grabbed Marcus Tiberius’ sleeves and sobbed, feeling hopelessness, yet relief that he could tell his Master what was in his heart.
Saul felt intoxicated by Marcus Tiberius’ kiss, it was the ultimate confirmation that his master loved him the way he also did.
When his tears dried to tracks of salt on his cheeks, he maintained his grip on Marcus Tiberius, finding peace in his closeness He wanted to remain in the arms of the man who had taught him better than anyone else how to be a slave—the man who incarnated a Master, a fatherly figure and a lover. As Marcus Tiberius ran his fingers through Saul’s hair in slow, soothing motions like his father had done, he dozed off.
Marcus Tiberius felt Saul’s body relaxing, then surrender to sleep. He carried him into the guest room and laid him on the bed. As he watched him sleep, Saul’s forehead creased, then relaxed as soon as Marcus Tiberius touched his cheek.
The tenderness that washed over him for this slave overwhelmed him. He never cared about his slave’s emotional state; he took care of their physical health and treated them fairly.
Perhaps it was due to Saul only being twelve years old and looked so small and vulnerable. Perhaps it was that his arguments carried the wisdom of an adult. Perhaps it was his innocent beauty. Whatever the reason, Marcus Tiberius felt affection toward the boy.
He had to find a solution to make it even, not only to that little boy but also to his own heart, which could not accept being parted from him.
As he sat on the bed, stroking Saul’s hair, he thought he had found the right solution to all their problems and pursed his lips. “Let’s see, Saul. For now, goodnight, then tomorrow I might have good news for you,” he whispered, kissing his soft lips.
Chapter 9.
The engagement day arrived announced by a perfect sunny sky, despite the chilly weather. The house had been richly decorated with fresh flowers and fine fabrics for the event. Saul spent most of the time with Flavius, helping him to prepare for the ceremony, mostly to wear the toga and comb his hair.
“Saul, promise me you will always be at my side. I feel so nervous. I don’t want to�
��” He grasped Saul by the shoulders.
“Master, I will be with you as much as possible, but remember I am a slave, and my place won’t be at your side. That is reserved for your fiancée, but I will always be within your reach if this makes you feel better.”
“Thank you, this will be enough. I guess I need to see you, so I won't be alone. Why can’t I marry a woman of my choice?” he asked huffing.
“I don’t know, but you keep that in mind when you have to find a bride for your son,” Saul replied.
“… son?” Flavius repeated, confused.
“Well, at least in my country, if a man marries a woman, they have children afterward. Doesn’t it work like that in Rome? Do you buy your children in the same way you buy your slaves?” he asked, amused.
Flavius, not in the mood for jokes, slapped him. “Don’t be impertinent, Saul. Of course, it works like that, I just wasn’t thinking about it,”
Saul cast his gaze downward. “I’m sorry, Master. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Silently, Flavius looked out the window, thoughtfully, “I wish something would stop this madness.”
At that moment, his mother entered adorned with rich jewelry and full of smiles. “Flavius, your fiancée is coming,” she said, clapping her hands together, giving a final check at his appearance. “You are so handsome and growing up fast. I have been waiting for this moment. It fills my heart with pride to see you getting engaged to a very beautiful woman.”
“Mother, is all this really necessary? Do I have to marry Claudia? Do you honestly think we will be happy together? How did it go with you and Father? Did you always love each other?”
“Darling, everything will go well. I, too, was pretty scared when I met your father for the first time. I know that Claudia is not the sweetest creature, but this marriage will be advantageous for your career, and she might become a devoted wife. You must be a kind husband.
“But I don’t want to be her husband, not good or bad. I want to be as far as possible from that person. I so wish that Claudia was as good as Saul.”