by P J Mann
He closed his eyes and let heavy silence fall between Saul and him; he could almost feel his questioning, absent eyes. He could hear his breath and found it consoling.
Comforted by the presence of the only person he trusted, the one who remained silent while his rage unleashed, undisturbed.
Flavius opened his eyes and turned, looking at Saul; he was still there waiting for him.
“I’m sorry, Saul,” he uttered, knowing that nothing he could say would fix anything; the words in his mind sounded empty and useless.
“I should have told you about it. Forgive me.” Saul raised a hand in the direction of Flavius.
“I will make her pay for this, and for all she has done to me as well,” Flavius vowed.
“Are you going to tell her I told you?” Saul’s heart started beating fast as veins pulsed on his neck.
“She will confess. You are coming back to my house. I won’t leave you alone for a single moment. She will not do anything to harm you now that I know what she is capable of.”
“Master…” Saul hesitated.
“Do you trust me, slave?”
“With my life, Master.” Saul smiled weakly.
“I will order Nara to be at your side as Cassandra has been so far. Answer me, though, do you love Cassandra?”
Saul wasn’t prepared for this question and wondered how he was supposed to answer. “I…Yes, Master, I love her,” Saul admitted, willing to be totally honest with him.
Flavius thought about it, then asked, “Do you love me?”
“Yes, Master. I love you too, but in a different way.”
Flavius chuckled. “How can you love us both? Do you know what love is?” he asked with a wide grin.
Raising his Master’s hand to his lips kissed it tenderly. The love for his Master was different from the love that bound him to Cassandra, but it moved his soul toward him. How could he explain in words what was in his heart? The only way was showing him, and in that kiss, he explained it fully.
“I think you do,” Flavius said. “I know I haven’t taken care of you as I promised in the beginning. Give me a second chance. This time, I won’t fail you. You are the dearest one to me.”
“Master, please, don’t promise something you aren’t sure you can keep. Promise me you won’t leave me; you won’t let me down. Giving you a second chance is not up to me; I am only a property. Marcus Tiberius shall decide about me and the deal between you two. I… please.
Saul’s words allowed Flavius to focus on the best way to seek revenge; finding a way to make her confess would probably be the sweetest.
“I’m going to talk to my father. I'll call Cassandra so she can take you back to wherever you want to go.”
Saul shook his head. “I can manage on my own, too, Master. Rufus trained me to use my other senses to see, and I have learned this house’s space.”
Amazed, Flavius watched him leave the room, treading with care, but without help.
Rufus did wonders teaching him the almost impossible.
Reaching the garden where his father sat on a bench enjoying the day, Flavius said, “Father, I-I think we need to talk.”
Marcus Tiberius approached him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go to my room; I owe you an explanation. Considering the screams, I think I know the nature of the discussion between you and Saul,” he said, guiding him.
Marcus Tiberius called a slave and ordered her to bring wine, then settled in his chair.
“I know it was Claudia, and Saul probably told you I forbade him to tell you the truth.
“Yes, but first, why did you hide the truth from me?”
“It was because I feared your reaction, but it seems that Saul knows you better than I do. I was wrong, and I hope you understand that my actions were intended to protect you, not to harm you. I’m sorry, Flavius.”
Flavius eased back in his chair, “I understand, and maybe you were right. Please don’t be disappointed with Saul for disobeying your order.” He leaned forward. “Now that I know from whom I should protect him and me, he will be safe in my house. I wish to have him back.”
“Are you sure? What is in your mind?”
“My plan is to get Claudia to confess what she did, without telling her that I know, then I will bring her to justice. I want to be rid of her. I also want to know if she had something to do with my kidnapping.”
“Let’s not jump to hasty conclusions; even if it makes sense. It doesn’t prove anything yet. I don’t want you to act rashly. Maybe having Saul with you will calm your reactions.”
The slave arrived with the wine. She silently poured two cups, then left the men alone.
“So, I can have him back?”
“Marcus Tiberius sipped his wine and rolled it around in his mouth, then swallowed it. “Yes, but our deal is still on, and this is your last chance. You won’t have another one. Take care of Saul. Do I make myself clear?”
Flavius had thought it would be more difficult to convince his father. He was sure he would have stipulated more conditions.
“I understand. I failed to protect my slaves from Claudia’s mistreatment. It will not happen again.”
“Flavius, I don’t want you to use violence against her. You must understand the consequences of such an action. Don’t ruin your life for revenge.”
“I have to take my part of the responsibility. Had I treated her with more consideration, perhaps she would have never resorted to this cruelty…Who knows?” He lowered his gaze averting his gaze from Marcus Tiberius’. “Father, I think I love Saul. I love him as much as he claims to love me. I do not please my senses with his body. I have feelings which are satisfied only when we lay together; when our lips touch in a tender kiss… I cannot better explain. Do you think I am crazy?”
“No, Flavius, you’re not. And I guess you are not the first; we all feel the attraction Saul can exert on people. To me, it was clear when I saw him at the market. There were better-looking slaves on the auction, yet something in this dirty child barely covered by rags attracted me, something in his posture, his eyes. Keep your lover safe. Keep him away from the anger of your wife, as she will not accept any other in your bed.” Marcus Tiberius warned.
“Thank you, Father. It is time for me to go,” he said, standing.
At that moment, the same slave brought more wine.
“There is no need; Flavius is leaving. Get Saul. He is leaving with him,” he ordered.
“Yes, Master.” The slave hurried out of the room.
After a short while, the same slave returned with Saul. “Master, are you going to bring me back?” he asked, facing Flavius. Surprise colored his voice.
He had expected to have more time to tell Cassandra goodbye.
“Yes, we are going right away. I told you I would bring you back,” said Flavius, guiding him out of the room.
Flaminia arrived as she heard that he was departing. Cassandra accompanied her.
“Saul, I hope this is not a goodbye,” Flaminia said, smiling.
“I hope not, Mistress. I don’t believe in farewells.”
Cassandra stood at Flaminia’s side, not sure what she should say.
“Saul,” Cassandra’s voice trembled as her eyes welled with tears.
“This is not a goodbye,” he said, holding her hands.
“Promise,” Cassandra begged.
Saul smiled and clasped her hands tighter. “I promise you.”
He was confident he would be under the care of Nara, and with him, he hoped to find a way to see her frequently. He then tried to turn toward Marcus Tiberius, guessing his position. “Master, I… Thanks for everything. You gave me an education, a place in your world, a safe shelter when I needed one; I won’t forget how much I owe you.”
Marcus Tiberius hugged him. “Take care of yourself and of my son; he needs you more than you need him.”
“I know that, and I won’t disappoint you or him.”
“No doubt about it, Saul,” Marcus Tiberius said, releas
ing him.
Flavius and Saul left the house in silence; neither had anything else to say. Saul wondered how Claudia would react, doubting the wisdom of going back sharing the same roof with Claudia.
Flavius could not stop thinking about Saul and Cassandra and wondered whether it was a good idea to bring him back. He was afraid he couldn’t protect him the way he must and considered what the consequences could be.
At the same time, he felt an uncontrollable rage rising from his soul, a rage mixed with disgust and hatred for Claudia. He’d rather kill himself than live under the same roof with her. In his eyes, she was a demon capable of the most despicable and darkest actions just to satisfy her sadistic, selfish nature.
“Master, you should better control yourself, rather than let the hatred take over,” Saul said, breaking the silence between them. Flavius looked at him, wondering how he knew what he was thinking.
“It is not difficult to guess your feelings. Your breath got shallow, and you are squeezing my arm rather than guiding me,” Saul explained.
Flavius looked at his hand; he was indeed squeezing his arm. He let him go and wondered about Saul’s capability to understand his thoughts through the observation of his gestures.
“I know it is not easy going back to live in the same house, pretending I don’t know anything about what happened. I must find a way to make her confess.” He clenched his fist and brought it to his chest. “She will never harm you again, Saul. Concerning your duties, since you can’t see, I will have to figure out a way to make you useful. The first thing that comes to mind is that you serve as my advisor. It seems like you gained an amazing ability to read other people’s hearts. This will be helpful in my work as a lawyer. And…” he caressed Saul’s cheek. “As Titus once said, sleeping in a warm bed is more comfortable than sleeping in a cold one.”
Saul exhaled with a contorted grin. “Yes, Master.”
Chapter 23.
When they arrived at Flavius’ house, a grave-like silence fell between them, thickening as they opened the heavy wooden door. Flavius held Saul by the shoulders and guided him through the house. The sun was setting as they reached the living room where Claudia sat; she looked up but did not welcome them home. She had been sure that she would never see Saul again. She’d hoped that Flavius was convinced of his uselessness.
“You brought him back, I see.” She tried to hide her disappointment.
“Yes, I thought he would still be useful for my work as a personal advisor, and as you already know, I will not give up the pleasure of enjoying his body.”
“Of course not,” she replied indifferently, exiting the room.
When called to present himself in the working room, Nara arrived as quickly as possible, surprised to see Saul back home. Fear of the consequences sparked by Claudia’s wrath overshadowed his joy at seeing his friend.
“Nara, Saul is back to stay, to work as my advisor. He will need some assistance in his everyday life. For this reason, you are assigned to take care of whatever his needs might be, to always be within his reach.”
“Master, I… Does this mean I don’t have to take care of Mistress Claudia as I did previously?”
“Exactly. She can count on a considerable number of slaves, and I suppose you are not really needed. Saul is your new duty, immediately.”
“Yes, Master,” Nara replied briefly.
“Fine, you both are dismissed. I need Saul to come with me tomorrow morning; be sure he is ready the first hour of the day,” Flavius ordered.
“So it shall be, Master.”
Saul sensed the tension in Flavius’ voice and was afraid to leave him alone with his thoughts and feelings. He didn’t fear for himself. He knew Claudia wouldn’t have any chance to harm him as long as he was with Nara or as long as Flavius was in the same house, but he feared for his Master.
“Have you become mute as well?” Nara asked, chuckling.
“No, I am just afraid for Flavius,” he replied absentmindedly.
“What for?” he asked, surprised.
“He knows…I told him who blinded me.”
“I thought…” Nara said, confused.
“The less you know, the safer it will be, Nara. Don’t ask anything further. Let’s change the subject, shall we? I’ve had sort of a rough day. Please help me to take a bath,” Saul asked.
Nara smiled. “Of course, Saul. Come, I’ll help prepare you for the night. Tomorrow you have to wake up early.” Nara guided him to the lavatory where he helped him to undress and folded his tunic on a bench beside the pool.
“Here you are; sit down and relax.”
Saul did as he said. Soon, Nara’s hands caressed his entire body in a relaxing massage. Nara wasn’t sure why, but as others did, he felt an attraction toward Saul. It had nothing to do with sexual or sensual attraction. He felt as if he was taking care of himself’ each caress, every massage, felt as if he was doing it to himself.
Nara paused in his ministrations. “If you were given a choice, would you like to be free and build a new life with Cassandra, go back to your homeland, or remain with Flavius?”
“Why this kind of question; I will never have a choice.”
“What if you had?” he pursued.
“I don’t know. All the prospective choices have good points and bad points; I would like to get them all. I wish to be with Cassandra and Flavius in my own country,” he replied, laughing.
“I am asking seriously,” Nara said, a bit upset.
“Well, I am serious too. I love Cassandra, and I love Flavius. I would like to be able to love them as a free person, and I miss my homeland.”
“You have impossible requests,” Nara said, chuckling.
“And you pose impossible questions. What would be your wish?”
“Mine? I have no such wish. I was born a slave, and I will die a slave. If I could get a favor from the gods, I would like to get my Master back and live with him forever. However, this will never happen, so my hope is to have a good Master who will treat me fairly. Perhaps a Master who will have me as a lover and with whom I would fall in love,” Nara replied, continuing massaging him.
“That’s pure romance,” Saul chuckled.
“You know, I thought we should shorten your hair a bit; not too much. What do you think?” Nara asked, caressing it.
“You should ask Flavius; he decides these kinds of issues. So far, he likes me having long hair, but maybe you will be granted the privilege to shorten it.”
“It’s time to eat and go to sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day.”. Nara helped Saul to stand and dress.
When Saul was finally in his bed, sleeping beside Nara, he realized how his attitude had changed. Perhaps it was true, and Claudia could not harm him, now that Flavius was aware of having to protect him and the other slaves from her. Nevertheless, Flavius also had to watch his back if it were true that Claudia was behind his kidnapping.
He closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
In his bed, Flavius could not find peace. As Claudia slept by his side, he tried to understand what was wrong with her heart to plot against so many people out of revenge.
He felt hopeless.
What should I do to make her confess about Saul? How can I prove it was her who ordered my kidnapping and the cold-blooded assassination of the slaves traveling with me? How can you hide such a dark soul behind your beauty and look so innocent when you sleep beside me?
On the other hand, he recalled how she used to beat up Nara, particularly the time when he found him unconscious after she hit him. She was a cruel person hiding behind her innocent beauty. He changed position and closed his eyes.
Days, weeks, months... How much time had passed since Saul returned to his house? Flavius couldn’t recall anymore; it felt too long a time, and his mind wearied of the wait.
The longer he waited, the more his frustration grew. Saul was not enough to calm his restless soul, and he realized he had been unfairly angry toward him, but even so, Saul’s behav
ior didn’t change. He was still there to be sure that he wouldn’t do something stupid.
Flavius was, in fact, unfair to everybody coming his way: colleagues, friends, acquaintances; only Titus could instill fear in his heart. He couldn’t talk to him with the same cockiness as he did with the others.
He decided to tease Claudia. Maybe if she realized that he knew about her plot, she would confess.
“Saul, when did I bring you from my father’s house?”
“More or less, four weeks, Master.”
“Are you sure?” He felt exhausted as if a longer period had passed.
“Yes, Master, I am. Why?”
Flavius didn’t reply; he stood up from the chair, blinded by rage, and stomped off. Saul sat still, listening.
Claudia and Flavius shouted at each other, then their voices grew louder until he knew they both were in the room with him.
He continued to keep quiet, aware that something was going to happen very soon. He was afraid his blindness would prevent him from stopping any violence.
Flavius let go of Claudia’s hair and shoved her to the floor in front of Saul.
“What is wrong with you?” she screamed, struggling to stand.
“Stay where you are.” He said, pushed her with his foot. “It’s time for the truth; the truth I kept inside for a long time; the bitterness I’ve carried with me since I was kidnapped; the truth behind Saul’s blind eyes. I want the truth you hide behind your pretty face, behind the lies when you claim to love me. You are incapable of love. You are incapable of human feelings. It is time for the truth. It is time for justice!”
Saul opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. He no air left in his body, no voice, and no strength to oppose his Master’s rage.
“I don’t know what you are talking about. You are getting crazy with your ideas that someone has plotted against you. No one conspired in this house, and probably not even in the entire city of Rome. You are your only enemy,” she spat.
“Am I going insane?” he asked, immobile as if thinking about it. “Perhaps I am going crazy, but if this is so, then I can do something like this.” He jumped and grabbed Saul by his hair and forced him to his knees in front of Claudia. “Here it is, slave, your Master is going to show his madness to both of you. Do you also think I am insane?” He glared at Saul without releasing his grasp on his hair.