“Anything good?” I asked, as the door slammed behind me.
I had Seth tracking down the Bergmans. I honestly wasn’t sure if they were dead or alive. Judging by the age of the home, it could go either way.
“Not really. So when are you thinking about going to the other house?” Alex questioned.
“Tonight, I think. I want to wait until Seth gets back to me.” I took a seat on the chair next to the table where the papers were spread out and opened my laptop to find an email from Sam. I opened up the message and was in shock at what I saw.
“Hannah never ceases to amaze me,” I whispered, clicking on a link.
Several images of a man appeared on my laptop. His dark eyebrows were in stark contrast to his bald head and pointy features. His eyes looked as cold as his demeanor. My mind filled with fury as I scanned the photographs. I wanted to do more to him than hurt him.
“Hannah recognized the voice of one of the men who held her captive. Turns out he’s on someone’s list to watch. Name’s Viktor Franco,” I told Alex.
“You’re kidding.” He moved his chair to get a better look at the screen. “Don’t recognize him.”
“Me neither. Says here he lives in Edinburgh, but that’s not where he’s originally from.”
“Russia?”
I nodded.
I dialed Sam’s number and waited a few rings before he picked it up. “Sam here.”
“Thanks for sending the information over.”
“Absolutely.”
“So who’s been keeping an eye on Franco?”
“Just about every agency we have.”
“Which will make it almost impossible to get to him,” I replied.
“He’s got a flight scheduled back to Edinburgh in four days.”
“Good to know.”
“Thought it might be. Hannah’s got an amazing ear for sound.”
“She’s a musician.”
“That explains it.”
The conversation between us was stilted. The ease we had from before was gone, and I wasn’t sure we’d ever get it back. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to see Sam as I used to.
“Thanks again for this. I think it gets us one step closer to where we need to be.”
“I hope it does, Luke. I’ve tried to link connections between Viktor, your parents, you…” he paused for a second. “And I can’t come up with anything solid. Obviously there’s a connection because he’s here and Hannah…” his voice trailed off.
“We’ll see. I’ll keep you in the loop if anything comes of it. I’m assuming you’re not making any arrests?”
“Don’t have enough to charge him.”
I knew he was lying. Hannah’s ability to identify him should have him in cuffs in no time. The Feds were watching him for some other reason, and it had very little to do with me, it seemed.
“Thanks again, Sam.”
“Anytime.”
I ended the call and looked over at Alex. “I think we’ll be making a trip to Edinburgh soon.”
“Never would’ve guessed that,” Alex said dryly.
Another email landed in my inbox, this one from Seth. I opened it up and scanned the information about the Bergmans. It appeared they were both deceased. Their car went off a bridge in the seventies. Bodies weren’t inside of it when they hauled the car up.
I leaned back in the chair. “Curious.”
“What’s that?” Alex asked, taking a swig of water.
“The Bergmans died in a car accident back in the seventies, but their bodies were never recovered.”
“How’s that possible?” Alex’s brow arched.
“Car went over a bridge and into the ocean.”
“Sure it did.” Alex shook his head.
“My thoughts exactly. But why?”
I didn’t answer Alex. Instead, I scrolled through the remainder of the message hoping for photographs of the Bergmans. There weren’t any. There was also no next of kin listed.
“I think it’s time we hit the next home.”
Alex stood up and finished off his water. “Sounds good to me.” He tossed the water bottle into the trash and headed toward the bathroom.
There was something really obvious here that I was overlooking, and it was driving me crazy. I sat back down and scanned through Seth’s email and glanced at the birthdates of Mr. and Mrs. Bergman. They would’ve been around my parents’ age. I looked for their place of birth and none was listed. I dialed Seth’s number and he picked up on the first ring.
“Thanks for sending the information over. I noticed there was no place of birth for either of them?” I questioned.
“I haven’t been able to locate any birth records for them. I had to use other public records to obtain their birthdates.”
“So the birthdates could be incorrect?” I challenged.
“Sure. If they had a reason to lie about it on the census I captured their info on, I suppose they could have at some point.”
“It says here that Charles Bergman worked at a utility company in Arizona.”
“That’s correct... Up in Flagstaff. It didn’t look like he held the position for long before the accident.”
“What about before that?”
“It was as if they didn’t exist, to be honest. It was difficult to come up with much.”
Alex walked back into the room and grabbed his holster off the cabinet.
“Yet they managed to have not one but two homes in Flagstaff at some point,” I surmised.
“Tracking people down during that timeframe is tricky.”
“I can imagine.”
“I’ll keep working on it, but I wanted to get you what I had,” Seth replied.
“I appreciate it. I’ll talk with you soon.”
“Let me know if you need anything else tonight.”
“Will do.”
Seth ended the call and I closed my laptop. I slipped it in my suitcase and locked the dial.
“Anything new?” Alex asked.
“More pieces that don’t quite fit. We’ll see what tonight’s place might offer, but I’m not holding my breath.”
“I wouldn’t either.”
“Thanks for that,” I laughed, grabbing my jacket off the chair.
We walked out of the hotel room and down to our rental car without saying another word. Neither of us knew what we were walking into. I got the feeling Alex was hoping an empty house for starters. I glanced around the parking lot quickly. Something felt out of place or maybe it was just me. Nothing had felt right since I’d hung up with Hannah. I felt more isolated being in Flagstaff, and I also felt connected to a past that I no longer understood or wanted to be associated with.
The life I had constructed since I was young obviously had some gaps. Now I had to spend the next umpteen months or years trying to separate fact from fiction, and it wasn’t as if it was for some family tree project. It was to salvage the family my parents almost destroyed. But what if I couldn’t fix it? What if I brought Hannah into something even worse than the complexities her own past already carried?
Hannah
I walked through the metal detector and followed the security officer’s directions. Mitch had already made it through, and I wasn’t sure how that worked because I highly doubted he was unarmed and I knew he wouldn’t leave anything in the car. I stood at the end of the counter and waited for Mia to walk through the metal detector. My nerves were on fire as I glanced around the sterile hospital. It was hard to believe someone I knew was being treated in a facility like this, let alone that person being my mother.
The outside was as oppressive as the inside. An irrational fear began to surface as I waited for Mia to join us. The idea of being trapped in this hospital gave me a cold sweat as I watched a stern nurse walk by. I smiled at the woman before she glanced at the log sheet, but she glared at me. It was as if she suspected I would be her next patient, and I didn’t appreciate the sentiment one bit.
Mia was finally allowed to walk through
the metal detector and only silence greeted her as she came out the other side. The nurse checked off all three names and turned toward us.
“Follow me. Which one of you is Hannah Walker?” the nurse asked, already walking away.
“I am,” I replied, trying to catch up.
“Your mother has a session scheduled at eleven o’clock.”
“I called last night and was told her morning was clear,” I told the nurse.
“Your mother had a setback this morning and the doctors advised treatment. I apologize for the interruption to your visit, but the doctors feel it is best.”
Mia reached for my hand and squeezed it.
“I understand. Thanks for letting us know.” I pushed down the uncertainty and disappointment. If my mother needed additional treatment, I certainly didn’t want to get in the way. We’d arrived early and gotten inside the moment visiting hours began. I noticed we were the only visitors.
“What kind of setback did she experience?” I questioned.
“She refused her medicine and she refused to eat.”
We were standing in front of the elevator, waiting for it to arrive.
“I thought she was in a catatonic state?”
The elevator opened and we all stepped inside the small box. As the door closed, I began to feel like there was no escaping whatever the nurse was about to tell us.
“She is. Refusal to eat or drink is a symptom of catatonia. Patients who suffer from catatonic depression can experience a wide-range of symptoms.”
“I thought it was mostly her not talking and disconnecting…”
“Mutism is one of the symptoms as well.”
“Is she speaking yet?” I asked as we stepped into the bare hallway. The white linoleum shone brightly, and the white walls looked as if they were scrubbed daily.
The nurse shook her head. “And she’s still experiencing hypokinesis.”
“What is that?” I asked.
“Immobility.”
I caught Mia roll her eyes at the nurse’s statement. I was sure she wondered why she didn’t just say immobility in the first place.
“How did she refuse her medicine and food if she’s immobile?” I questioned.
We were following the nurse down the corridor. Some patients were wandering the halls, others sat in chairs that were lined up along the wall, while others congregated near the nurse’s station. My stomach clenched the closer I got to my mother. I so wished I could make her better. I saw her sitting in a wheelchair in the shared room behind the nurse’s station. She was staring at nothing in particular. Her shoulders hung and she looked frail, exhausted from life.
“You’d be surprised at the ways in which the patients manage to thwart many of the staff’s efforts.” She held up her hand, and I saw a bandage around her index finger and I let out a sigh.
“She bit you?”
The nurse pressed her lips together and nodded.
“What is the treatment this morning?” I asked, unsure I wanted the answer.
“She’s scheduled for ECT.”
I glanced at Mia who gasped. Obviously Mia knew something I didn’t.
“What’s ECT?”
“Electroconvulsive therapy. When drugs have failed, ECT has been proven to be effective in eighty-five percent of patients. We’ve tried drug therapies, which provided no real improvements.”
My mind stopped functioning as I heard the nurse continue on with her explanation. Shock treatments? I thought those went out with the dark ages. I hadn’t even realized that I stopped moving. The nurse, Mia, and Mitch were all surrounding me and I saw the nurse’s mouth still moving, but I stopped hearing. I looked over at my mother and brought my gaze back to the nurse. I just wanted to make her better.
“Well, you can go over and talk with her. I’ll be over to get her before her session starts. You can come back this afternoon at one o’clock, but she might not be aware of your presence.”
I slowly nodded but no words would come.
What I wanted desperately—more than anything—was for my mother to be okay. She didn’t have to be a good mother. She didn’t even have to be a mother. I just wanted her to be okay. I wanted her to be able to function in our world again.
I thought about Dr. Doro’s observation about relationships and I thought how fitting that was for life in general. I was looking at a woman whose relationship with life had ended because she had given up first. My heart ached for her.
I wished I’d waited for Luke to come with me. I didn’t realize how difficult this was going to be.
“You ready?” Mia whispered.
I nodded my head and slowly made my way over to my mother. It was hard to actually use that word because the person I was seeing resembled nothing of the woman I used to know.
I pulled a chair closer to my mom and sat down. Mia and Mitch took seats behind me. I clasped my mother’s hands in mine and felt her fingers twitch. I glanced over at the nurse’s station and brought my attention back to my mother.
“I know you’re a strong woman. You’ve faced so much. More than anyone should, but we’re still here, mom. We still need you.”
Her vacant stare stayed focused on the empty space between us. The sound of my voice wasn’t enough to coax her out of wherever she was hiding. But I wasn’t willing to give up.
“I’m starting nursing school. I’ve already got all my books…and you know me, overly organized. I’ve got a plan to get ahead on the reading and studying.”
I watched my mom’s position not change at all. “I wish you could tell me you’re hearing me. Show me some sign.”
I got none.
I glanced behind me at Mia and Mitch who were talking quietly behind me. It was nice to have their support.
“I think nursing will be really fulfilling. I know you always wanted us to find something that made us happy, and I think nursing will provide that for me. I like the idea of being able to help people in some way…” I stopped talking and glanced around the room. It was difficult keeping a discussion up that was one-sided. “You know, I read that this facility has gardens that patients can tend if they meet certain requirements. I know how much you loved to grow vegetables and flowers back home. Would you like that?” I asked, not expecting a response.
I glanced at the clock and realized it had only been five minutes. Great! I’d only been visiting with my mother for five minutes and it felt like thirty. I felt so out of place and useless sitting here, trying to make her hear me, trying to make her snap out of it when there was no snapping out of anything. Maybe she didn’t want to hear me. Maybe she needed to pull back to wherever she went to survive. What if there were even more horrors I didn’t know about?
I took a deep breath in and held her hands as I looked around the room. Other visitors had failed to appear, and I wondered at what point the visits stopped. It pained me to think of no one visiting my mother. Actually it pained me to think of her staying here to need visits. When she was first admitted, her psychiatrist thought it was an episode that needed to be worked through in a facility that had the ability to cope with the various stages of catatonia. None of us expected her to remain in this state.
I turned my attention back to my mom. I hadn’t planned on telling her about anything that happened to me, but as I looked at her staring into the distance I decided to give her a brief rundown.
Maybe on some level I hoped she’d see that we all have things to work through. I knew it was foolish on my part to think that, but I couldn’t help it.
“I’ve been working through some things myself,” I began. “I got caught up in some sort of—”
She pulled her hands away from mine and I stopped speaking. I didn’t know what to make of her action. Did she have no interest in what I was about to say or was I reading too much into it? I kept my hands in my lap and sat quietly for a few seconds before letting out a sigh.
“I guess what I’m trying to say, mom, is that none of us have it easy in this world and I hope someda
y, you’ll come back to us all. Fight it out with the rest of us.” I felt guilty the moment the words left my mouth, but I couldn’t help it. That was how I felt.
Before I realized what was happening, my mom grabbed my hands and pulled them toward her. A gurgle erupted from her gut as her eyes widened.
“Stay away,” she hissed.
I tried pulling my hands away from hers, but she gripped them tightly. The nurse spotted the situation and hurried over.
“What?” I asked, refusing to believe she meant it.
“They followed you.” Her eyes focused on mine, and I saw a moment of clarity flash through her gaze. “Don’t come back.”
She dropped my hands as the nurse reached her. Mia was by my side, trying to make sense of what just happened, and all I did was shake my head in disbelief. I watched my mother’s mind shut down as quickly as it ignited, and I had no answers.
Mitch was standing behind me. “I think it’s time we leave.”
I nodded and stood up as they wheeled my mom away and I attempted to piece together what just happened. What I did to make her hate me.
“I don’t get it. What did I do?” I whispered to Mia.
“Honey, you didn’t do anything. She’s here to get help. She will get the help she needs.”
We slowly walked down the hallway to the elevator, and I questioned why I ever came. I heard the nurse behind us, calling my name, before we stepped onto the elevator. I turned around to see her rushing toward me.
“I’m so sorry about her outburst. Believe it or not, we take that as a turn for the better.”
I nodded, unsure of what to say.
“Your mother is in her room being sedated.”
My pulse quickened. I had done this to her.
“She keeps repeating the name Franco over and over again. She’s in tears. We looked in her files and we don’t see that name in her records. Does it mean anything to you?” I shook my head and glanced at Mitch, who looked disturbed.
“Well, I just wanted to check. You can sign out down below.”
“Thank you.”
We stepped onto the elevator and I waited for the doors to close before I turned to Mitch.
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