My breath caught when my eyes landed on Hannah. Her head was thrown back in laughter and her long, blonde hair cascaded down her back. She looked like an angel. My world shifted at the sight of her. I wanted nothing more than to go to the patio and tell her what a fool I’d been. My mind flashed to the first time I met her. God I missed her. Getting to see her was the most enjoyable torture I’d ever experienced. Hannah’s laughter stopped and I watched her scan the coffee shop. Her gaze was sharp and focused as she searched the crowd. I stepped behind a light post as I attempted to talk myself out of going inside. She looked happy. She was happy. Just as Mia had said. I stepped out from behind the post and saw Hannah again, but this time I saw the source of her happiness as another man’s hand clutched hers.
Hannah
Peyton was sweet, but he wasn’t Luke. There was no spark between us. No electricity when he softly brushed my hand or when he purposefully got close. But he was solid and grounded. He knew what he wanted out of life and was halfway through getting his Masters in Health Administration. He was safe. Why was that not enough for me?
“I got you a chocolate muffin with cream cheese frosting,” Peyton said, grinning as he slid the plate in front of me. “I still can’t believe you didn’t remember it was me behind you that day when you were getting your books. I can’t tell you how crushing that is to a man’s ego.”
I laughed and shook my head, feeling so bad about the blunder that forever crippled Peyton’s swagger. “It wasn’t you. It was me. All me.”
“Oh, great. Now, you’re delivering that line? How much more can a guy like me take?”
His blond hair was shaggy and his blue eyes vibrant as he waited for my response. I noticed a few of the women around checking him out so why didn’t I feel that way when I looked at him?
“You know the best way to my heart.” I crumbled a piece off the side of the muffin and carefully placed it in my mouth. “And that’s gotta count for something. You’re a step ahead of everyone else.”
“Everyone else, huh? How many of us are out there?”
I laughed and shook my head.
“So have you thought more about dinner tomorrow?” Peyton asked.
I’d hoped he’d forgotten.
“My final for chemistry is on Monday, and I definitely need all weekend to study.”
Peyton let out a sigh and flashed me a half-grin. “I can’t figure you out. I think you want to like me, but it just doesn’t seem to be in the cards. Does it?”
I gasped a small sound of embarrassment and shook my head frantically. “It’s not like that at all. I think dinner tomorrow sounds perfect. I just… I don’t know.” I pushed my plate away and glanced at my phone, hoping for a text back from Mia. “I’m just complicated, but don’t give up on me.”
He cupped my knee with his hand and smiled. “You’ve got it.”
My stomach fell when I realized his touch still produced absolutely nothing. It had been months since I’d last seen Luke, and I was still stalled in my life wondering about him or comparing to him. Were my expectations of love unrealistic?
Probably.
“So don’t you have to spend your weekend buried in studying?” I asked.
Peyton shook his head and slid his hand off my knee. “Nope. It’s mostly research at this point geared toward my thesis. I don’t envy you. I remember it like it was yesterday.”
“I’m starting to get nervous about fall semester. I’ve been lucky with mostly just general education requirements with only a couple of nursing classes thrown in, but I heard it gets brutal.”
“Once clinicals start...” He grimaced, and I swatted his knee.
“Not exactly the confidence booster I was looking for,” I laughed. “It looks like you’re still traumatized.”
“I am.” He sat back in the chair and his shoulders relaxed slightly, and I wondered if maybe this would be how it started. A casual coffee date that would turn into a dinner date and maybe feelings would follow.
Peyton’s gaze caught mine and his expression lifted. “You’re absolutely beautiful, Hannah.”
I felt my cheeks warm and shook my head. “It’s just the tan and the thought of being done with school for the summer.”
His finger softly grazed my chin and he leaned in. “I hope you give me a chance, Hannah Walker. I really do.”
Peyton’s gaze caught mine, and I managed to smile despite the sadness that spread through me. No matter how much I faked it or lied to myself, I missed Luke, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever get over it. But I had to try, right? I had to give myself a chance.
“How about I help you study this weekend?” Peyton offered. “We’ll do an early dinner tomorrow and then we’ll just hit it hard.”
“That sounds wonderful,” I lied, taking the last bite of my muffin.
“Perfect.” He took a sip of coffee and began telling me about his various attempts at finding nursing jobs.
An intense feeling washed over me as I vaguely listened to Peyton explaining about one of his interviews that went awry, and I knew this sensation had nothing to do with his story. I tried to laugh at the appropriate times, but all I cared about was trying to figure out why it felt like I was being watched.
A shiver ran through me, and I glanced up quickly at Peyton, wondering—praying really—that he was the source of excitement, but when I looked into his eyes I knew it wasn’t Peyton who was producing those feelings. The butterflies began soaring inside my belly, and I quickly scanned the café, hoping for the impossible. There was only one person on the planet who made me feel this way and his name was Luke Fletcher.
My awareness heightened as I attempted to find a man who didn’t want to be found.
My eyes danced from one person to the next, hoping that out of the blue the man who broke my heart would suddenly appear in front of me.
For what?
Would I take him back?
I didn’t dare answer.
Besides, Luke wasn’t here. It was only my wishful thinking that manifested itself into a twisted joke. I had a perfectly wonderful man sitting in front of me, giving me all of his attention, and all I did was dream about an unobtainable man who wanted nothing to do with me. I was hungry for what Luke offered and yet he no longer offered it to me. It was soul crushing, really, but I bounced back.
Almost.
“You okay?” Peyton asked, placing his hand over mine.
“Sorry. Yeah. I just freaked out over studying. I definitely need your help this weekend. It just keeps forcing itself into my mind.”
“Well, I definitely need to step up my game,” he laughed, shaking his head. “I can tell I’m boring the shit out of you. I don’t know what comes over me around you. I become a bumbling fool.”
“No, you’re not. I swear, it’s just nerves.”
Get it together, Hannah. This was bordering on pathetic. A totally hot guy was willing to be vulnerable, and all I did with that was daydream about someone else.
Peyton smiled and sat back. “I know you haven’t dated since you started school…”
“What? Who said?”
“I’ve got my sources.”
“Is one of them named Jenna?”
“I’ll never tell.” He grinned.
“So what are you getting at?” I asked, resting my chin on my steepled hands.
“Well, I think you might still be hung up on someone, and if that’s the case, I don’t want to get in the middle.”
I dropped my hands and shook my head, embarrassed. “There’s no middle. It’s just over.”
“I see.”
“He broke it off months ago and I haven’t heard from him since. I don’t even know where he is,” I laughed nervously, realizing how unreal that sounded even though it was the truth.
Peyton didn’t say anything.
“In fact, I don’t even think he’s in the country.”
Peyton grimaced at the last statement and I started laughing. “Wow. Are you sure you want to go out with me be
cause now that I’ve said it aloud, I think I might have scared the other guy out of the country.”
“Anyone who runs from you is a fool.”
“I’d like to think so.”
“I know so.”
“Well, thank you…” I felt my cheeks warm and I couldn’t help but respond to his kind words. It had been something I wondered over the last few months.
A few minutes of silence sat between us.
“You were in love with him?” Peyton asked, catching me completely off guard.
I nodded and took a sip of my drink to occupy my mind. I never spoke about Luke, and I certainly never dreamed of having to discuss him on an almost date. The truth of it was that it felt as if I’d fallen through the cracks of the earth and no one was there to catch me, but I’d made it through.
Just barely.
“My parents got divorced when I was twelve and there was one thing that I’ll always remember that my mother told me.”
“What’s that?” I asked, setting down my cup.
“There are many different kinds of love in the world and a relationship will only work when two people share the same kind of love.”
It was as if the weight of the world had been lifted once I realized that Luke just didn’t love me the way I’d loved him.
“Thank you, Peyton. That was exactly what I needed to hear.”
Luke
I boarded the plane with Alex behind me. I greeted the flight attendant and slipped into the first class seat next to the window. Alex sat next to me and pushed his laptop bag under the seat in front of him.
“Well, at least you saw for yourself, Luke.”
“She’s happy and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for her,” I replied.
“You know there’s no reason to keep a watch on her, don’t you?” Alex asked.
I didn’t respond.
Through all the darkness she always brought the light, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to let that go. Even if it was from a distance, knowing she was taken care of allowed me to get through each day. And I had a lot of lonely days ahead to get through.
“Have you told your sister what you found out about your parents?” Alex asked.
I shook my head. “I think the less she knows the better.”
“I agree. At least until we find out a little more.”
I pulled out a book as the passengers filed through the plane. I needed a break from my own mind. Seeing Hannah had done nothing but make me want her even more, but I’d made too many mistakes. Seeing her smile lit up my world and took the darkness away. I knew I’d hold onto that memory for as long as I could, but my sister was right. I couldn’t show up in her life with the intention of leaving again. I was ready to finish what I’d started and Hannah fueled the purpose in my life.
I wanted to make a better world for her.
I opened up the first chapter in my book and let out a sigh as the words blurred together. A man in love was a dangerous thing, and I loved Hannah Walker more than life itself.
The final book, Redemption, will be out on September 10th
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Chapter One
I sat in the passenger seat horrified, but I didn’t dare drag my gaze away. The world had been told zombies no longer threatened human existence. Yet I was staring at an onslaught of them taking slow, deliberate steps toward our vehicle. We had barely pulled into our driveway when the horde descended out of nowhere.
I managed to slide my fingers along the door to the electric lock. I didn’t know why I thought that would save us. The undead had never let a lock deter them before. I looked around our house and it looked untouched. These creatures were only in our yard, coming for us at a most vulnerable time.
Gavin attempted to take the car out of auto-drive, pressing the buttons frantically and commanding it with voice controls. The car only responded with words. We didn’t control it. The car controlled us.
“Pedestrians within minimum safe distance,” the car said, acknowledging Gavin’s attempts to drive us out of danger.
No shit! We want to run the pedestrians over.
Tiny beads of sweat began forming at my hairline as I watched Gavin repeatedly engage and disengage various controls. Nothing would let us override the car’s safety features.
Gavin’s foot pressed on the accelerator trying to override the computer system, but the car still refused to budge. His foot slid off the pedal, and he quickly replaced it.
Damn these self-driving cars!
The engine red-lined with each attempt from Gavin’s override, but the brain of the car overruled Gavin’s actions with every rev of the motor. Gavin kept shaking his head as his finger slid up and down the dashboard. He glanced at me, his green eyes connecting with mine. I didn’t want to believe what I saw behind them so I turned to look out the window.
I gripped the console as I watched the twitches and spasms of the zombies’ movements closing in on us. They were everywhere…the grass, the sidewalk, the driveway. There was no mistaking the rotting, grey flesh that exposed the muscle and bone of the undead. They were something I’d run from countless times, but this time we had nowhere to run. The undead had us trapped. They would rip us to shreds in an instant.
“I think some of ‘em are new,” I said, turning my attention back to Gavin.
There were some clean-looking zombies staggering toward us, their flesh mostly intact. That made no sense. The outbreak had been contained for months. There should be no freshly infected roaming around. Everyone had been vaccinated. The only stragglers evading capture had been around awhile, so their bodies were beat up badly by the time they were caught. Not these.
“Let’s hope not,” he murmured, not bothering to look out the window to confirm nor deny my suspicions.
“We can’t run. They’d totally get us before we got away,” I said, hoping he’d correct me, tell me that we had a chance.
He didn’t.
He slammed his fist into the steering wheel and looked over at me. When the outbreak happened, we never looked back. We were always on the move, running from the disease that took our families and friends. That was the key to survival. Never stay in one place. Always stay on the move. Now we had nowhere to move. I glanced over at Gavin and saw the fear in his eyes. Even with everything we’d encountered, his eyes had never held this amount of terror.
“Babe, whatever happens…”
“Knock it off,” I said.
“We have nothing to fight them with, and a horde this size needs a distraction.”
“Don’t you dare,” I hissed, shaking my head. The fear was pulsing through me at an unstoppable rate. “We didn’t live through the outbreak to die now.”
I gritted my teeth, grabbed the civilian anti-zombie kit from under my seat, unzipped it, and looked for anything inside that might help. We were instructed to drop these kits off at government collection stations. I was grateful we never got around to it.
Gavin held down the ignition and reverse buttons at the same time in a vain attempt to override the safety sensors.
“Damn it,” he muttered.
“Try rebooting the car. Turn it off and take the key out. Give it a few seconds and slip the key back in. Maybe if you pop it in reverse before the car can sense the zombies, it’ll let us reverse,” I directed.
He nodded, biting his lip, and turned off the engine allowing the moans of the horde outside to be heard. I took a deep breath and looked out my window that was now completely blocked by tattered shirts and non-oozing wounds pressed against the glass. It would only be a matter of time before they began to break through the glass. The moans turned into a chorus of humming.
“One-Mississippi-two…” Gavin’s words wrapped around me.
I prayed silently to the same God I’d prayed to many nights before. He listened then and I hoped he’d listen now.
I grabbed two knives that were in the kit and flipped the blades open, locking them in place. The anodized
orange handles were larger than the actual blades. Not comforting. I handed one to Gavin.
“There’s still a Louisville Slugger on the floor behind us,” Gavin said. His brown hair was cut short. That was one of the first things he did after we were vaccinated. A haircut and a shave to celebrate our survival. He still looked young but not as young as we both did before the outbreak.
I slid toward the center console, crawling as far from the passenger window as I could get. Gavin’s breathing was heavy, and I felt the heat rolling off him as he continued to struggle with what we were facing.
I dug around in the bottom of the bag for the zombie deterrent. My hand clasped around the ADD, also known as the Audible Distraction Device, and I dropped the kit to the floor.
The car rocked back and forth as the number of beasts grew on both sides, creating a trance-like rhythm that was terrifying.
“Grab the bat,” Gavin instructed, his voice low.
I slid my hand to his knee, squeezing it hard before I reached behind us and grabbed the wooden weapon.
The challenges we faced living off the land paled in comparison to what we faced confined in this car.
Gavin turned the engine on and sank it into reverse, only to be stalled right where we were.
“Pedestrians in minimum safe distance,” the car warned again.
“Shut up!” I shouted at the car’s inhuman voice.
An oily residue smeared against the glass all around us from their bodies touching and gliding along the surfaces. They were crawling on the hood, metal pops sounded with every dent created. Their bodies slowly snaked up the windshield as they climbed toward the roof. Their mouths opening, jaws clicking as they tasted our scent. That was all we had separating us from zombies—glass. It would be only a matter of time before they mangled the metal above us and shattered the glass around us.
“If I get out of the car, I can distract them and you can run. I need you to run,” he said slowly, his eyes locking on mine.
Buried Sins Page 20