All I Believe

by Alexa Land

  I told them the story of the disappearing lime green fabric, and they both had a good laugh. Jessie said, “The lime green thing is underwear. The turquoise thing was the bathing suit.”

  “Seriously? It was so tiny that it looked like a headband!”

  “Nico, your body’s perfect! You can pull off tiny Speedos. Not many people can.”

  “Thanks, but I’d prefer a bathing suit that doesn’t immediately tell the entire world I’m circumcised.”

  “Okay, fine. Tomorrow, we’ll use my credit card and go shopping. You can pay me back later.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m telling you, though, you won’t find your uniform.” Jessie turned to Fiona and changed the subject abruptly. “Are any of your cousins gay?” She pointed at me, and Jessie amended, “Besides Nico. I’m trying to find someone to hit on.”

  “What’s wrong with Nico?” she asked as she borrowed the drink I was holding, took a sip, and returned it to my hand.

  “He’s like my brother since we’ve both been living together at Nana’s house.”

  “I see.” She plucked a canape off a passing tray carried by a uniformed waiter. “I suspect that Matteo’s gay since I’ve never seen him with a woman, but it’s not like he talks about it with his family.”

  “Which one’s Matteo?” Jessie asked, standing up on tip-toe and scanning the crowd.

  “He was working tonight and couldn’t make it,” Fiona said.

  “Bummer. Hey, do you happen to know if there’s a gay bar in town?”

  “You’ll have to forgive my friend,” I said. “He’s on a single-minded quest to get laid on his vacation.”

  “I like the fact that you’re so open about your sexuality,” she told Jessie. “In answer to your question, I’ve heard there is, but it’s kind of like a, what do you call it? A speakeasy? There’s no sign out front, and I’m not sure where it’s located. I believe it’s more of a sex club than a nightclub. Maybe that’s what you’re after?” Jessie colored slightly and shook his head no. I thought it was sweet that he was so innocent.

  We chatted with Fiona about her job in banking, and Remy and his wife and kids joined us. A few minutes later, we were startled by a blood-curdling shriek from the back of the house. Jessie and I immediately took off at a run.

  When we got to the kitchen, we found Nana and her sister cursing at each other in Italian. Nonna looked a lot like Nana and was only a year younger, but she’d always dyed her hair jet black. Nana yelled in English, “I’m leaving! I won’t spend another minute in this house!”

  Nonna yelled after her in Italian, “Fine! See if I care!”

  My grandmother took off in a huff with Jessie and me right behind her. When Fiona saw we were leaving she grabbed her purse and joined us. “I need a drink,” Nana said. “One big enough to do the backstroke in.”

  “What was that about?” Jessie wanted to know.

  “I’ll tell you later. I’m too upset to talk about it now,” Nana said.

  Fiona drove us back to the hotel, and the four of us went straight to the bar. It was on the ground floor, facing the sea, and a light breeze drifted in through the wide-open panel walls. “Your grandmother’s going to be pissed that you came with us,” Nana told Fiona after we’d settled in at a table in the corner.

  “I know, but I only get to see you and Nico every few years, and she’ll forgive me once she calms down,” Fiona told her.

  Nana patted her hand. “You’re a good girl, Fi. Pretty, too. I don’t understand how come you’re single. What’s wrong with the men in this town?”

  Fiona shrugged and adjusted the short sleeve of her royal blue dress. “I think I’ve dated all of them by now and have run out of options. But that’s okay, I really don’t need a man to be happy.”

  “I cannot say the same,” Jessie murmured.

  “I been on my own a long time,” Nana said. “I don’t know if you heard, but I’m finally divorcing my no-good, cheating husband. I know the Catholic Church ain’t on board with that, but them and me don’t see eye to eye on a lot of stuff anyway. They’re behind the times if you ask me. Don’t even get me started on what they have to say about gay homosexuals! I’m thinking maybe I ought to stop by and have a talk with the Pope when we’re in Rome. Seems like he’d benefit from a fresh perspective.”

  “I don’t think that’s really an option,” I pointed out as our drinks arrived.

  “Details.” To Fiona she said, “I’m thinking I want to start looking for a decent fella. Maybe you can be my wingman, Fi. Do they have some of that speed dating here in town? Maybe we could give it a go. I figure I only need a minute or two to decide if some guy’s worth my time.”

  My cousin grinned at her and sounded very American when she said, “I don’t think so, but if they did I’d absolutely be down with that.” All of a sudden, her brown eyes went wide and she murmured, “Or maybe we just need to hang around hotel bars more often. Dio mio, look what just walked in.”

  I glanced up and grinned when I saw who she was talking about. “Bad news, Fi. He plays for my team.”

  Luca smiled when he spotted me and crossed the bar to our table. He was once again dressed in an impeccable black suit and a dark shirt that was open at the collar. He said, “Hello, Nico. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

  “You, too.” I invited him to join us for a drink, and was surprised when he took me up on the offer. He pulled over a chair from an adjacent table and Jessie and I made room between us. I caught a faint whiff of sexy aftershave when he sat down.

  “Luca, I’d like you to meet my cousin Fiona, my friend Jessie, and my grandmother Stana, who almost everyone calls Nana. She’s the person responsible for the fashion choices you’ve been witnessing. Everyone, this is Luca. We met earlier today.”

  After Luca said hello, he took my grandmother’s hand and kissed the back of it, then did the same to Fiona. When he merely shook Jessie’s hand, my friend pretended to sulk. Luca chuckled and kissed Jessie’s hand too, which made the blond very happy.

  My grandmother exclaimed, “Doesn’t Nico get a kiss on the hand? Go on now, don’t be shy. We already know you’re a gay homosexual because Nico said you play for his team, so if you want to kiss his hand or anything else, don’t hold back on my account.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Luca said before he scooped up my hand and kissed it, lingering for a moment, his eyes meeting mine. He gave me a wink, then squeezed my hand before returning it to my thigh.

  His leg brushed mine, possibly on accident, and he said, “Back in leather, I see. Shall I ask the waiter to bring over some pots and pans? I want to be prepared to defend you against passing hordes of poodles and wiener dogs.”

  Jessie chuckled and asked, “What on earth does that mean?”

  Luca launched into the story of the bacon pants, telling it with such flair that even I was laughing by the end of it, along with everyone else. When I finally caught my breath, I said, “Sadly, that’s all true. Luca saved me from both the dogs and from arrest for public indecency when my bathing suit turned invisible on me today. Apparently he’s my guardian angel.”

  “Someone has to be,” he said with a teasing grin.

  “So, Luca, you single?” My grandmother asked.

  “Yes ma’am, quite,” he said.

  “Do I detect a bit of a British accent?” Nana wanted to know.

  “I spent a number of years in boarding school in Britain,” he said, “but I’ve lived all over. That’s why I speak five languages and why my accent is a jumble.”

  The waiter came by to take Luca’s drink order, and Nana ordered one of every appetizer on the bar menu. “I’m starving,” she told us. “I never did get dinner tonight, since my sister Isabella is such a putz.”

  “We’re supposed to be at a big family dinner right now with about four dozen relatives,” I told Luca, “but there was an argument and we left.” I turned to my grandmother and asked, “What were you and your sister fighting about?”
/>   Nana sighed and said, “Isabella told me she was sorry so many of my grandchildren had turned out to be gay, and I went off on her. Every single one of my gay homosexual grandsons is a blessing! I told her that, and then I called her a bigot! She tried to backpedal and say she only said it because it meant they wouldn’t be giving me great-grandchildren. I pointed out that my grandson Vincent and his husband Trevor have their sweet son Josh, and she said it’s not the same if the kids are adopted. Oh hell no! You do not say ignorant shit like that about my precious Joshie! Next thing I knew, I was screaming and she was screaming. I wish I’d done a better job tryin’ to educate her, but I just got so mad!”

  I’d never thought about all the crap my grandmother must put up with from her family, just because of how fiercely she loved her gay grandkids. I reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Thanks for sticking up for us, Nana.”

  “Always, Nicky, you know I got your back. I just shouldn’t have to deal with shit like that from my own sister.” She looked upset, but then she tried to change the subject away from herself by asking, “You got any brothers or sisters, Luca?”

  “One, an older half-brother.”

  “Are you two close?”

  “Yes and no. I love him, but Andreo is a total control freak. He’s only five years older than me, but he’s always tried to act like a parent instead of a brother. He would completely run my life if I let him. I guess that’s because my father wasn’t in the picture when I was growing up, and I know that’s just Andreo’s way of showing he cares about me, but it’s incredibly frustrating. We usually end up fighting whenever we’re together,” Luca admitted.

  Nana said, “I know how that is. It seems like my sister and I are always fighting about something. If it hadn’t been this, it would have been something else.”

  Luca paid attention politely as Nana went off on a long story about her sister that I’d heard a dozen times. I snuck glances at his profile as he listened to her. He had a strong, masculine nose and jaw, which contrasted beautifully with long, thick eyelashes and full, sensuous lips. He snuck a sidelong glance at me at one point and grinned when he caught me looking, then returned his attention to my grandmother.

  About an hour into our little cocktail party, I pushed back from the table and excused myself to use the restroom. Luca stood as well and said he’d go, too. But when Jessie started to get up, Fiona caught his wrist and pulled him back down. “Whatcha doing, Fi?” he asked her, and she answered him with an emphatic look and a head-tilt in my direction. That seemed to clue him in, and he said, “Oh, I get it. Never mind, I can hold it.”

  In case all of that was entirely too subtle, Nana exclaimed, “Nico and Luca want a few minutes alone, Jessie! It’s obvious they got the hots for each other. They’re probably sneaking off for a little makeout session.” She turned to me and asked, “You aren’t gonna do more than that, are you? If so, I can go upstairs and get the rubbers. I don’t have any more lube though, on account of the fact that they took it all from me at the airport. I know your supplies were in your lost luggage, so should I go ask at the front desk where we can buy some lube? Or maybe there’s something you can substitute. Want me to ask the kitchen for some butter or something?”

  Luca burst out laughing and I turned bright red as I said, “No thanks, Nana. We’re just going to the restroom.”

  I rushed off with Luca right beside me, and he said, “I love your grandmother.”

  “I know she means well, but she has a knack for embarrassing me like no one else,” I muttered.

  “She’s incredibly accepting about the fact that you’re gay.”

  “You don’t know the half of it. Nana’s a huge equal rights advocate. She even finds stray gay guys like Jessie and makes them a part of our family.”

  “That’s amazing.”

  “It is, and I adore her. The fact that she has no filter is just part of the package.”

  When we reached the small restroom, I turned to look at Luca and he said, “I totally followed you in here to make out with you, but now it’s weird. I feel like your Nana is going to ask for a full report when we get back to the table.”

  “She will.”

  I leaned against the sink, and Luca stepped close and said, “Hey, look. We’re the same height now.” He flashed me a smile.

  “Again, the boots with heels, leather pants, and overall seventies porn vibe: not my doing.”

  “I like these red pants on you,” he said, lightly running a fingertip across the top of my waistband.

  “At least I can bend my legs, and they don’t squeak when I walk. That’s a big step up from the short-lived black pair.”

  “You looked good in those too, in the minutes before the dogs shucked them off you.” There was that spark of amusement in his eyes again.

  “I appreciate the fact that you didn’t laugh at me, though I really don’t know how you managed to resist.”

  “Even if that was the funniest thing I’d ever seen in my entire life, and I’m not saying it was, you were already embarrassed. I wasn’t going to compound it by laughing.”

  “Thank you for that, and for sitting with my family and listening to my grandmother’s stories. If you’re doing that to try to impress me, you should know I was already impressed, right from the get-go.”

  “I’m not hanging out with your family solely to get in your good graces. It’s nice to have some company. I travel all the time, and most nights are spent alone in random hotels.”

  “What do you do for a living?”

  “I buy art for a lot of rich bastards who want it as an investment, and a handful who actually appreciate it.”

  As he was speaking, his eyes slid down my torso. A moment later, a fingertip followed, lightly skimming my bare chest where the shirt gaped open. I drew in my breath as desire shot down my spine and my cock tried to swell in its tight, leather confines. Luca asked in a low voice, “Do you maybe want to go for a walk or something?” All I could do was nod.

  We stopped by the table and told my family we were going to get some fresh air before heading out the open back door. I left the boots under one of the beach chairs, and Luca did the same with his shoes and socks before we headed down the deserted beach. He picked up my hand and held it as we walked, which made me grin.

  As we wandered north, away from the center of town, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I looked up at the stars as the sea air stirred my hair. The idyllic setting, combined with the handsome guy by my side, holding my hand, made me feel better than I had in a very long time, and I told him, “I really needed this. Thank you. It’s been almost impossible to relax lately, but this is doing the trick.”

  “Why can’t you relax?”

  “I’m in law school, and it tends to stress me out. I took classes this summer, too, so I haven’t really had much down time.”

  “How much longer until you graduate?”

  “Way the hell too long.”

  We’d been passing a cluster of tall boulders, and Luca spun me around and lightly pushed me against one of them. Lust washed over me as he leaned in close, his body pressed to mine. His breath was warm on my ear as he said softly, “I can think of so many ways to relax you.”

  I chuckled nervously and said, “That sounds like such a line. How many men have you used it on, and does it usually do the trick?”

  The corner of his mouth curved into a half-smile. “One, and it’ll only do the trick if he stops making fun of me.”

  “I’m not making fun of you exactly. I’m just noting your technique. It’s not every day I get to watch a man like you work his magic.” I was nervous and rambling, and he and I both knew it.

  “What kind of man am I?” he asked, nuzzling my cheek and running a hand around my waist.

  “Smooth. Charming. Confident. Most of all, seductive. The type of man who can have anyone he wants.”

  “No different than you then, apart from the confidence.”

  I laughed and said, “I�
��m none of those things. I couldn’t seduce you if I tried.”

  “But you already did.”

  “How, by walking down the beach in an invisible swimsuit? Yay me for subtlety.”

  He carefully removed my glasses and said, “You seduced me like this. You have the most extraordinary eyes. Earlier today, when I looked in them at sunset without your glasses between us, it felt like I’d always known you. And if that strikes you as another line, you’ll have to find a way to forgive me. I can’t seem to help sounding corny tonight.”

  “As if my eyes are what you’d notice while I was standing around in a clear bathing suit.”

  He grinned, still lightly leaning against me, holding me against the smooth rock. “Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely noticed your other, quite impressive attributes.” He skimmed his palm over my butt when he said that, and then he met and held my gaze. “But this, right here, is what drew me in.”

  I grinned and said, “Do you think you might actually kiss me at some point, or are you just going to keep peppering me with lines?”

  Luca chuckled at that. “So impatient.” He leaned in and brushed his cheek against mine.

  When he lightly bit my earlobe, it sent an unexpected jolt of pleasure through me, and I slid my hands around his waist. He kissed his way along my jaw, taking his time and driving me crazy. Then he leaned back and looked in my eyes again. A soft breeze off the Ionian Sea stirred his dark hair, and his gaze dropped to my mouth. Anticipation crackled in the air around us and my breath caught. He took my chin in his hand and brushed his thumb over my lower lip as my heartbeat sped up. Finally, finally, he kissed me, softly, tentatively. It felt like a question. I answered by parting my lips and deepening the kiss, offering him more. Offering him me.

  As our kisses intensified, he cupped my ass and pulled me against him. It had been so long since anyone had touched me or kissed me, and even when they had, I’d never felt that kind of desire. It was so powerful that it knocked over my inhibitions like bowling pins. I couldn’t even overthink things like I always did. I couldn’t think at all. I could only feel and react and need. God I needed this.