“Where are you going?”
My mother’s question fell on deaf ears, because he was gone.
“I’m sorry, Honey. I’ll take care of it. I better get started packing…well, re-packing. We’re leaving tomorrow afternoon.” She headed to my door and turned. “You know the only reason I took you to get that shot was to keep you safe, right? I never meant to force the issue. I told you that it’s better when you wait. It’ll mean so much more. I love you, Honey. And, no matter what choice you make, I’m always going to love you…and so will your father. Just, don’t grow up too fast, okay?”
I nodded, wondering how long I was going to have to walk on egg shells around my father this time. At least I had managed to keep my mouth shut and not spout off to him. I assumed that with all that was going on with my grandmother’s passing, this would all blow over. Well, once again, I was wrong.
My father completely ignored me the next morning. Once again I was being falsely accused, and I was tired of it. I sat down next to him at the breakfast table. He was reading the newspaper and eating a bowl of cereal. When I sat down next to him, he glanced at me disappointedly and got up, leaving his half-eaten bowl of Cheerios, but taking his newspaper.
I decided to ignore him right back, so I went upstairs to help my mom finish packing. I sat down in between her two suitcases and sighed.
“He’ll get over it.”
“He really doesn’t believe me, does he?”
She sighed. “I don’t think he knows what to believe. He wants to believe you, it’s just…well, Shane’s…not typical… in that aspect. He probably thinks you’re covering for him.”
“But, he’s the one that keeps saying no.” I closed my eyes and said, “I know that sounds crazy, but you know Shane. He doesn’t want to hurt me…physically or emotionally.”
“Then you need to respect his wishes.”
“I know. I’m trying. Well, what else do you need help with?” I asked, changing the subject.
We spent the next hour going over her packing list and re-packing their suitcases. We talked a lot about my grandmother, and we found ourselves laughing and crying over memories of her. We had just finished with the luggage and dried our eyes when we heard my father yelling downstairs.
“I trusted you! You betrayed me! Get out!”
I ran downstairs and saw Shane pinned up against the wall…by my father.
“DAD! Stop it! What are you doing?”
“Bradley, let go of him!” my mother said, pulling him away from Shane.
“Go to your room, Rebecca!” my father shouted.
“NO! You can’t seriously be angry with Shane because Mom took me to get birth control! It wasn’t his fault or his idea. He had nothing to do with it!”
“That’s not why I’m angry with him. He broke the one rule of the house he swore he’d never break!”
“What? No, he didn’t!”
He turned back to Shane and said, “My daughter seems to think it’s okay to lie. How about you? Are you going to lie to me?”
“No, Sir,” Shane said, looking confused.
“Have you or have you not been up those stairs?”
I closed my eyes. Why couldn’t he have worded that a bit differently?
Shane glanced at me and then said, “I’ve um, I’ve …”
“You don’t have to tell me. I saw the proof…so get out!”
“What proof? What are you talking about?” I asked.
“The underwear, Rebecca! I saw the black underwear on your bed last night, your unmade bed! You always make your bed!”
I blushed crimson red, never having dreamt my father would see something so personal.
“Dad, it’s not what you think.”
“Stop lying to me, Rebecca!” He turned back to Shane and said, “Did you, or did you not see my daughter in the underwear?”
He took a deep breath and said, “Yeah, I did.” He didn’t deny it, or even try to explain it.
“I could have you arrested right now for statutory rape! Get out of my house!”
“Dad!” I yelled and grabbed him by the arm. “Stop it! You want to know the truth…the real truth? I seduced him! I almost had him, too, but half way up the stairs I could tell he didn’t want to go through with it…”
“I don’t want to hear the details!”
“Oh no, you started this! You keep after me for the truth, well you’re going to get it, all of it, whether you like hearing it or not! I pulled him up the stairs…wearing only the underwear, but he stopped half-way up, and when I asked him what was wrong, he said it had taken him a long time to earn your respect and he didn’t want to betray you! When I pushed the issue by saying you’d never know, he said, he’d know. I wore the underwear for him, Dad, but he didn’t take the bait! If you’re going to be mad at someone, it should be me! He never touched me, and he never made it more than half-way up those stairs. And, believe me, it wasn’t for a lack of trying on my part!”
He looked so hurt and betrayed, “I don’t know who you are anymore,” he said, taking a step back.
I looked down, devastated by his comment.
Shane stepped forward, “She’s your daughter. She hasn’t changed, she’s just growing up. Believe me, you don’t know how badly I wanted to climb to the top of those stairs! I love Rebecca, but she’s right, I was afraid of losing your respect. It’s taken me a long time to earn it, and I didn’t want to betray you. I knew how easy it would be for you to go back to thinking I was just some low-life thief, and force me out of her life. But, Rebecca knows you love her. She knows that no matter what she does, you’re still going to love her. But, I don’t have that security, that luxury. So, let’s just say I had something to lose…and even though she was offering me something that I want more than anything, I couldn’t risk it. I won’t lose her. And, if that means waiting until we’re married, then so be it. No matter what you think of me, I do respect you and Mrs. Brigham and I love and respect your daughter. Maybe I’m not the best choice for her, I know she could do better, but I swear to you, no one will ever love her more than I do. Rebecca means the world to me, and I won’t risk losing her, not for anything.”
I stood there listening to Shane, stunned by his words. He spoke to my father with such conviction, looking him straight in the eye. The room was quiet for a few minutes. I was silently crying, overwhelmed by Shane’s speech. I didn’t think it was possible to love him more than I already did, but as I heard his words, my heart swelled and I knew I’d never forget that moment for as long as I lived.
Shane’s speech had managed to knock the wind out of my dad’s sails and I watched him as he took a few steps backward and sat down on the couch. I think he was also stunned by Shane’s proclamation. I finally couldn’t stand it anymore and I ran to Shane and hugged him tight.
“I love you, too.” I was crying and holding onto him for dear life.
My mother was still stunned silent, which was unlike her, but what else was there to say, Shane had said it all…perfectly.
A few minutes later my father stood up and walked over to us. I looked up at him, and I’m sure he could see the pain in my eyes from his comment. He looked tired and drawn, and just when I thought he was going to start back in on the evils of pre-marital sex, he slowly reached out and touched my cheek with his hand. “He’s right, you know, you never have to doubt my love for you.” I let go of Shane and hugged my dad.
“Thank you, Daddy. I love you, too.”
He sighed and reached out his hand to Shane. “I guess I owe you an apology. I don’t always think things through when it comes to my family…I’m sorry.”
Shane shook his hand and smiled. Then, I watched in amazement as my dad pulled Shane in for a brief hug. “You um, you don’t have to worry about your place in this family, either. I do trust you…you’ve earned it. Rebecca’s lucky to have you.”
“Thank you,” Shane said, with what I thought was a tear in his eye. He wiped it away quickly and it was my mother’s
turn to hug us both.
We drove my parents to the airport an hour later and after our goodbyes at the gate, my father shook Shane’s hand again and said, “Take care of my girls.”
“I will. I promise.”
“I know you will.” He started to board the plane and then turned back around and grinned, “Oh, and even though you’ve earned my trust…you’re still not allowed upstairs,” he grinned at Shane and was gone.
I sighed, relieved that they were gone. I was exhausted from all the fighting and worrying, but one look into my boyfriend’s eyes and I knew, even though I was heartbroken that my grandmother had died, I was glad to have some alone time with him. I had decided that it was enough just being with him. I wasn’t going to push him anymore. I was just going to enjoy every second with the man of my dreams…no matter how they were spent.
With This Ring…
“So, what do you want to do tonight?” Shane asked me after the end of our first week in college. We were standing by my car in the parking lot.
“Anything! How about dinner and movie…or the proverbial walk along the beach? As long as we’re together, I don’t care what we do,” I said and meant it.
He leaned down and kissed me softly. I responded by pulling him closer and kissing him back, refusing to let go.
He smiled and touched my cheek. “I love you, Rebecca.”
“You better, because I can’t live without you.”
“Hey you two, get a room!” one of the guys from our Biology class said as he walked by.
I looked up at Shane and we laughed.
I dropped him off at the tire store to get cleaned up and then headed home to shower and change. I stopped for a movie on my way back to pick him up and I ran into Parker outside of a Redbox. Evidently, he’d broken up with Jillian, I assumed, since there was a tall lanky brunette hanging all over him.
“Hey Beccs…how are you?”
“Please, for the last time, stop calling me that! So, where’s Jillian?”
“How the hell should I know? She dumped me.”
I was stunned by his confession. I wasn’t surprised that she dumped him. I knew it was inevitable, but I was surprised that he’d actually admit it. “Oh, I’m sorry. But, it looks like you’ve um…moved on.”
“Yeah, this is KiKi. She’s a waitress at Hooters…putting herself through college on tips.”
“Oh, that’s nice. What are you studying?” I asked, trying to make polite conversation, while trying to keep my eyes off of her ‘Hooter’s-befitting’ chest.
“I want to be…an attorney…like my Parker here,” she giggled. I wasn’t sure she even knew what an attorney was, but I smiled and gave her the benefit of the doubt before quickly making my selection and heading back toward my car.
“Hey Beccs…Rebecca?” he corrected himself.
I turned back toward him and said, “Yeah?”
“If um, if you ever get tired of…him, I’ll always be here for you.”
He said that right in front of the hooter girl, but luckily for her, she didn’t seem to understand him, as she kept smiling and twirling her hair. And they talk about blondes…
“Thanks Parker. But, um, I’m never going to let him go.” I knew I meant it and I smiled to myself as I drove out of the lot toward my one true love.
“Hi, are you ready?”
He smiled at me, obviously trying to get me to blush…it worked. “Why don’t we watch the movie here?”
“Um, okay. So, do you want to go get dinner and then come back…?” I stopped talking when I saw the table in his room covered in linen and china…with candles and flowers. It was set for two and I laughed as he tried to hide the ‘take out’ boxes under the table.
“When did you have time to do this?” I asked.
“I ordered it earlier and had Vince pick it up for me while I was in the shower. Is it okay?”
“It’s perfect.”
“That’s what I was counting on.”
We enjoyed the meal and when it was time for the movie I realized the only place we could watch the movie was on his bed. I glanced up at him and he only smiled.
“It’s okay; it’ll be nice to hold you while we watch the movie.”
He laid back, folding the pillow in half to raise his head and I slowly climbed in next to him and put my head against his shoulder. We laid there for a while, content just being close and finally I realized I’d never even put the movie on. I giggled and looked up at him.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“I forgot to start the movie.”
I started to get up and he stopped me. “I um, I don’t think we need the movie…right now.” He kissed me, pulling me to him.
I responded immediately, longing for it. Soon we were breathless and I finally pulled away, afraid if we went any further he’d regret it. “Shane…” I was breathing so hard. “We um, we have to stop.”
“Is that what you want?” he asked; his breathing just as erratic as mine.
“Um, I don’t want you to feel guilty for…getting carried away.”
“You didn’t answer my question. Is that what you want? Do you want me to stop?”
I looked up into his beautiful slate colored eyes and shook my head no. “But, it’s okay. We can wait…” I was still breathing hard, completely lost in his arms and that woodsy, masculine smell.
“What if I don’t want to wait anymore?”
“What?” I asked, confused.
“I love you, Rebecca. I don’t want to wait anymore. We love each other. We’ve been patient…I think it’s time. But, it’s up to you. If you’re not ready…”
But it was too late, I had already given him my answer. I was kissing him hard, my arms wrapped around him, pulling him so close that it was difficult to breathe.
He pulled back and stroked my cheek. “This isn’t the most romantic place. I almost reserved a room for us, but didn’t want to presume you’d want…I still can?”
“I’m happy here.”
“I just, I want it to be perfect for you.”
“It is perfect, I’m with you.”
“You’ll tell me if I scare you…or hurt you? Promise me,” he said looking deep into my eyes.
“Shane, you’re not going to hurt me.”
He sat up. “Just…promise me, okay?”
“I promise. I’m not afraid.”
He leaned down to kiss me, pulling me close. Soon the kissing turned to touching…exploring, and we were desperately trying to undress each other, but found it difficult while lying in bed, especially since neither of us wanted to let go of the crushing hold we had on the other.
Finally, after numerous attempts at removing my blouse, he said, “I think this would be easier if we stood up…” he grinned.
I begrudgingly stood up, but pulled him along with me, not wanting to completely break contact with him. He stood up next to me and then leaned over the bed and folded the blankets back. “I um, I changed the sheets today…”
“Were you really planning this?” I asked, surprised.
“No…well, maybe subconsciously. I just know I love you and you’re all I think about. You’ve said you were ready, so I guess I just wanted to be prepared.”
I knew he was thinking it over again. Worrying, and feeling guilty. I took both of his hands in mine and said, “Shane, we love each other. We’ve waited long enough. We’re committed to each other. I’m never letting you go, so you might as well face it. You’re mine and we belong together.” I reached up, placing my hands on his face. “It is time. You know it is, or you wouldn’t have done…” I waved my hand around the room, pointing out the clean sheets, the romantic dinner, the flowers and music. “…all this. It’s right, you know it is.” I know he was still feeling a little guilty, but it was different this time. It was as if he knew it was okay, even though there was still a little doubt floating around in that busy brain of his.
He didn’t think about it for too long, because it was only a matter o
f seconds before he pulled me back to him, and kissed me. His lips never left mine as he slowly finished unbuttoning my blouse and pulled it off my shoulder. I removed my arms from around his waist long enough to let the shirt fall off my shoulders and onto the floor. He helped me slide out of my jeans and before I knew it, I was once again, standing in front of him wearing only my underwear. I wasn’t expecting anything but dinner and a movie that night, and if I had, my choice in underwear would have been different. He certainly didn’t seem to mind my everyday white bra and panties though, as his eyes scanned me slowly from head to toe. He pulled me close and reached around me to unhook my bra. I don’t know if it was nerves or inexperience, but I finally reached back and helped him out. I heard a sharp intake of breath as my bra fell to the ground with the discarded jeans and blouse.
“You’re so beautiful, Rebecca,” he whispered as he reached down to free me from my last bit of clothing…my panties. He took another deep breath, bathing me with his eyes. He didn’t touch me for a few minutes. He openly stared at my naked form. I was embarrassed by his unashamed scrutiny, but when I tried to get into bed under the blankets, he stopped me. “No, I’ve waited so long…just let me look at you, please.”
After a few more seconds, long enough for the blush to pretty much cover my entire body, he stepped close and pulled me to him for a kiss. Somehow he had managed to get his shirt and jeans off and he laid me down on the bed, ever so gently.
I felt his desire for me for the first time and I had to admit, I almost panicked. The fantasy had been on-going, but the reality was now and suddenly I was nervous. I knew it was right and that I loved him, but as he pressed up against me and his hard length touched my stomach through his briefs, I pulled back a little.
He immediately stopped kissing me. “What’s wrong? Do you want to stop? It’s okay if you do, I’ll wait…just um, tell me now.”
As I looked into his loving eyes, I knew there was nothing to be afraid of. “No, I don’t want to stop. This is where I belong. I love you, Shane.”
CONVICTION (INTERFERENCE) Page 12