Our side. The implications of that hit me hard.
Her family is going to be furious, but I’m going to be there to manage the fallout if she’ll let me.
“Your family,” I begin.
“Don’t,” she says. “Let’s just focus on getting this right tonight, Kieran. And the rest of it? We can figure that out after.”
There’s a note of hope in her voice. The promise that maybe in some world, our lives in Boston might somehow find a way to fit together.
"So what are we playing? The Rolling Stones? The Eagles? The Beastie Boys?”
She snorts, but then her cheeks flush red.
“I've actually composed a little something that I think will work well for the violin and guitar. I brought my case. Do you want to go get your guitar and we can practice?” She hands me a sheaf of music, and I flip through the pages. The two songs at the end surprise me.
“What?” She asks, smiling at the look on my face. “We can’t launch the Claddagh inn without playing at least a couple of Irish folk songs.”
“You can fiddle?” I ask. The last song is The Wild Rover. A favorite of mine.
She smirks at me. “What’s the difference between a fiddle and a violin?”
I shake my head. “No idea.”
“You don’t spill beer on a violin.”
God. Even her violin jokes are better than mine. I love this woman. I laugh and am rewarded with a huge smile.
“Walk My Love is a woman’s song, though,” I say, returning my gaze to the music. I remember what she’d said about singing.
“I know.” She tilts her head and smiles softly. “It’s usually a duet with a female vocalist and a guitarist.”
Sometimes I’m a little slow on the uptake, but the implication of this hits me hard.
“You don’t have to do that. It’s for you, I mean. Your singing.”
She grins. “I want it to be for us tonight. I want to sing while you play.”
I want to be part of your world. It goes unspoken, but it’s there. A compromise we make for each other—we’ll play classical and folk, slow and fast, polished and rough.
It turns out that the bedroom, metaphorically speaking of course, given the varied locations of our trysts, isn't the only place that Siobhan and I can make beautiful music together. If you told me ten years ago that I’d be playing a small, exclusive concert in an upscale Martha's Vineyard inn with one of the rising stars of the musical world, I would've told you that were crazy.
But then again, if you told me that I'd be in half in love with the violinist, who was also the daughter of my family’s biggest enemies, I wouldn’t have believed you either.
Life’s funny that way, with the unexpected joy and the surprises.
The night goes off without a hitch.
The guests love the concert, and everyone agrees the fish and fries lend to the authentic feel. Danny is beaming by the end of the night. My brother Seamus made it for the event and had brought two surprise guests with him. His girlfriend Evi and our father.
I didn't realize Dad was here until I saw him. His eyes are locked on Siobhan and then on me as we play. I'm happy that he gets to see firsthand what we've done here. After the concert, he slowly approaches where Siobhan stands greeting guests. I stand awkwardly to the side. Nothing new in that dynamic.
"You did a great thing here, son."
"Listen, Dad," I say, my voice quiet. "I still don't know if this is going to take care of the problem. We think this will be enough to work with the zoning board, but I thought it made sense to bring Seamus here to make sure I didn’t miss anything.”
Reporting in and letting him know I’d tried, like always.
Instead of answering, he looks at me with his sharp assessing eyes. "You played beautifully, son."
My father's always let me play in his bar. He's welcomed any band as long as they didn’t play Danny Boy—he hates that song and I can’t blame him—and on more than a few occasions I've played and sung myself. I've always gotten the sense that he enjoyed the music, but he’s never said much about it.
His words will stay with me long after this night.
His eyes move to Siobhan, who’s still chatting with one of the guests off to the side.
"It looks like Boru might have some competition for your affection?"
It's so blunt that I choke. And he just grins.
"You know," he says, his eyes taking a far-away look. "This wouldn't be the first time that a beautiful, musically inclined and artistic redhead managed to steal a Doyle heart in this house."
My eyes are on her when I say, “Dad, even if that's something I wanted, I know that I can't bring a Carney into our family."
He looks at me like I’m an idiot. That’s usually a very good sign that I’m being a complete fool.
"Kieran, why would you say that? Surely you don't think that she is responsible for the choices that her father makes."
I've never thought that. It's just that I wasn't sure that my family would agree.
"Son, the only thing that matters to me is that you're happy. That you find a way to keep that joy alive in your life. Some days you walk a hard road. Some days, I'm surprised that you've chosen to stay with us. When I see your talent up there, I realize that your life could have gone in a very different direction."
I keep my mouth shut so I don't say something stupid.
"Listen, Kieran, that's a beautiful, talented, and captivating young lady. Danny told me that she helped you get things together here at the Inn. Not only does that tell me she'd make a wonderful partner, but it also tells me that she's very clear about the choices she makes. I'm not going to lie to you. If you get serious with a Carney, the two of you will face challenges that no one else will understand. It's going to put you both and your relationship in the middle of a lot of unpleasant shit.”
My father almost never swears. I swallow hard.
"You know, I almost didn't marry your mother. When I looked at her, I saw everything that was good and pure in the world. And I felt like I just wasn't worthy of it.”
Irrationally, even though it's been decades since a young Murphy Doyle would have felt unworthy of beautiful, rich, Kathleen Fitzgerald, I want to reassure him.
He sees it on my face and grins. "Worry about yourself, son. I got my life straightened out just fine in the end."
Fair enough.
"The thing about your Ma is that she saw things in me that I didn't even see in myself. And I think I had things to offer her too, that gave her a different way of seeing the world. What I saw in her was a reason to fight, to fight for a better life. To do the hard work and make the smart choices that made those things I wanted possible. No one can tell you if you're right for Siobhan, or if it would be worth the challenges that the two of you would face. But don't let your assumptions about what people think get in the way.”
Yep. I’m a complete idiot.
“If there's one thing I know about you, Kieran, it’s that you're a fighter. But you’ve spent so much time fighting on behalf of other people that I'm not sure you actually take the time to fight for whatever it is that you want.” He claps me on the shoulder.
“Why didn’t you tell us that Jimbo was interested in Ma too?” I ask. I may get a Murphy smack down, but it’s worth the risk.
“Jimbo,” my father says, chuckling. “Danny gave him that fine nickname. Not just because of your Ma that he came for this house.” He sighs. “Was wondering if any of you boys would ever puzzle that out. Didn’t seem relevant, mostly. Old Jimbo’s a bitter man.”
His face turns serious. “He wasn’t as bitter when we were younger, but he had it in him. We all have good and bad in us, but you get to choose what you nurture. How you let losses change you.”
I’ll fight for what I want, and I want Siobhan. I won’t let her be one of my losses. She looks up from the guest she’s chatting with, and I wave her over. I can’t take my eyes off her as she reaches out a hand to my father.
&nbs
p; “Mr. Doyle,” she says, her smile dazzling, “I’ve heard so much about you. It's such a pleasure to meet you. I'm so delighted that you could make it here tonight.”
"It's lovely to meet you, darlin’."
She’s open and warm as she talks to my father. I watch them chat, but I don't hear the words.
There something that I need to do. I excuse myself and run over to the fish shack and head up into the guest room to grab something. Vinny’s fish stares at me.
When I return, Siobhan sits in one of the rockers on the front porch looking relaxed.
“Your father told me to tell you he’s going to beat Danny at cribbage, and that he’ll see you tomorrow.”
“He can count cards,” I say, sitting next to her. “He’s got an incredible memory. It’s why he nearly always wins when he plays cards. Don’t let him into your casino.”
She laughs brightly.
And then we sit quietly for a few minutes as I gather the courage to say what needs saying.
"Siobhan." There's so much raw emotion in my voice that she looks at me startled.
I squat down next to her chair, and it hits me that this could be taken as a proposal. But I don't even care. "I can't repay you for all the things you've done. Seamus says that tonight was perfect and that he anticipates no problems tomorrow with the zoning board.”
She's nodding, smiling. I reach out and grab her hand.
"I bought you something." I slide the little bag out of my pocket, suddenly feeling unsure. But I shake the rose gold Claddagh ring, small and delicate, into my hand. Her eyes meet mine.
"Why, Kieran Doyle, are you proposing to me?" Her eyes twinkle, and I can tell she's teasing me.
"I'm proposing a new beginning," I say.
Those green eyes go wide.
"The Claddagh is supposed to tell the world if your heart is taken. No matter what happens, I'll leave here knowing that my heart belongs to someone amazing. I want to be with you, Siobhan. I want to find a way to make this work. We come from different worlds. The Carneys and the Doyles don't get along. I imagine that we'd face a shitstorm. But there's no one I'd rather face that with than you."
Not elegant, but then, I’ve never been an elegant man. Unlike the woman looking back at me.
Her eyes are on mine and she reaches out and smooths down my wild hair.
"Kieran, that's a beautiful ring. And I think it's perfect. A perfect way to tell the world that my heart is in fact taken."
I'm so filled with the raw emotion I have to look away for a second. She slips the band on her right hand.
Not her left.
But the heart faces in.
"A very smart man once taught me that you have to face things as they are and not wait for them to be as you'd like them. The reality is that we’re both headed back to Boston. And from there, I’d like to give us a real chance."
I capture her mouth with mine, kissing her until long after the stars stop twinkling overhead.
When she heads to her room, she kisses me again and tells me to have a good night before closing the door gently in my face.
What? A man can hope.
If I want to be with her, she's given me the exact roadmap to get there.
And so, three weeks later. That's exactly how I come to be standing in a tuxedo at the Carney home in Boston.
The staff let me in just assuming I was another one of the guests coming to hear Siobhan play. Or maybe they think I’m the butler?
I stand in a small library. A side door swings open and in walks Siobhan. She’s breathtaking. Her long strawberry blonde hair flows free, a delicate peach dress hugging all of her curves. She played beautifully tonight.
She sees me and her eyes light up. She crosses the room and slides her arms around my neck.
I bend down and kiss her.
If you’re wondering if this is the exact moment her brothers decide to enter the room, you’d be correct.
"What the fuck?" says Patrick, I think, although I barely hear him over the buzzing of blood in my ears. Siobhan takes a step back, but when she does, she catches my hands.
"Finn, Rory, Callan and especially you, Patrick. We had this conversation once before and won’t have it again. I’m dating Kieran Doyle. He’s not going anywhere. Not soon, maybe not ever. I know there’s a long history there, but I expect you to give him a chance. You will treat him with respect. Do you understand?"
They don’t, but they know better than to say anything.
Callan is the first to step forward. "Obviously I don’t have to warn you about hurting my sister," he says. His tone is genial, but I don’t miss the implied threat.
Finn glares at me. The hate in his eyes is nothing new, but the stakes are higher now. It’s not going to be easy, and I can’t just punch his smug face like I want.
There are other ways to fight battles. I slide my arm around Siobhan’s waist.
“I heard from my brother’s girlfriend, Evi, that you tried to make a move on her. Sorry that didn’t work out, but maybe she has some single friends?”
Slapping Finn around with words is just as satisfying, turns out. Siobhan elbows me.
“Sorry,” I manage. “I’ll behave.”
The rest of the night is like that. Awkward as fuck. I get it: trust is a thing that's earned. And I don't know if I trust anyone in this room, save for Siobhan, with my family's business. James Carney hadn’t been happy to have his plans thwarted, and I’m not a fool. Though he treats me with a polite distance, it’d be a mistake to underestimate him. To think everything was settled because I’m dating his daughter.
I wonder if the mercenary part of him sees it as a way of consolidating our assets, finally.
But as I look at Siobhan, and feel her hand clasping mine, one thing is for certain.
It’s definitely a new beginning for the Carneys and the Doyles.
Epilogue - Siobhan
Three Years Later
The antique ivory silk dress hugs my body in an understated way. My hair is down, falling in soft waves. The only jewelry I wear are my grandmother’s pearls and the beautiful sparkling diamond ring that Kieran gave me.
And of course, the rose gold Claddagh band that he’ll give me as a wedding promise today.
The same day Danny told us that he was giving us the Inn, although he plans to stay on here, happy that there’s more life around the old place.
The wedding is not what my mother wanted at all.
In fact, I hadn’t arrived at this day confident that it would happen – or confident that I wouldn’t dash everyone’s expectations against the rocks – and take Kieran up on his threats of a Las Vegas wedding.
I giggle. Can you imagine the scandal?
But as she steps back, the severe lines of my mother’s face soften. My sisters Catriona and Bridget look stunning in rose petal pink bridesmaids’ dresses. Maybe they’d make my mother happy and marry JB Stacy. Surprisingly the badminton champ is still single.
Soon, my other attendants will be here but for now it’s just the Carney women.
“Siobhan, you’re a vision.”
An intimate wedding for 100 guests at the little Inn I’ve grown to love on Martha’s Vineyard had not been Rose Carney’s plan. She had envisioned a stately affair with a princess dress, a star-studded guest list, and of course, a very different groom.
But I held fast – especially on the last point – and managed to get us all here to this day, back to the Island, without too much drama.
My brothers had seemed a bit shell-shocked from Kieran’s bachelor party.
I didn’t want those details.
But Rory couldn’t hold back and went on about fireball whiskey, karaoke, and video games.
Not exactly the ribald party scene my brothers had promised me to keep Kieran from.
It just goes to show how little they know him.
Old habits die hard. I wish I could say that we’d buried the hatchet, but frankly I was just glad that no hatchets had been buried in
Kieran.
Or in my brothers, for that matter.
It’d been easier with Kieran’s family. His brothers had accepted me without question. Kieran had told them that I was the one, and that was enough. I’ve been astonished by their warmth ever since.
Soon the other women are here, Molly bustling around making sure every final detail is perfect. Evi looking slightly uncomfortable, before admitting she has never been a bridesmaid.
“Well, if you don’t count that one shotgun wedding at City Hall,” she manages to grit out before my mother quickly changes the subject.
There are many things to be grateful for today. But one? I look forward to being part of a family that is open with their love.
There’s a soft knock at the door, and my father steps inside the room. As if by habit, my mother and sisters file out and the others follow. I am there left to contemplate James Carney.
Tall, well-built and handsome, with silver hair and a distinguished face. A man that I had adored my entire life, despite how difficult he’d been. A man that I had come to wrestle with some challenging information about in the last couple of years. I wonder if he would have been different if he’d married Kathleen instead of my mother.
It’s a difficult thing to come to the realization that no one is all good or all bad, and that someone you love with all your heart can also do things that hurt others. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t hurt me, too. Some small part of me ached for the simplicity of a more sheltered life.
But it’s a small part.
I will forever be grateful that Kieran opened up more of the world to me.
The reality is that I’m not only a better person, but a better daughter because I know the truth. And though I may not agree with every decision my father has made, and I have had to grow comfortable with the fact that he won’t agree with at least one very important decision I make, one truth has emerged.
My father loves me. And though he’s a complicated man, I will always love him too.
Thug: The Doyles: A Boston Irish Mafia Romance Page 14