by Kelley, Aine
“Ben? You still there?”
Shit, snap out of it! “Ah … yeah, hi Sam. Sorry, you caught me off guard. I thought Jenny would answer.”
Sam lets out a chuckle combined with a snort. “Yeah… well your sister took the whole bar hopping for grad night a little too seriously. Pairing shots of tequila with beer at each bar we stopped at is not one of her better ideas.” Her laughing sounds so light and fresh. “She’s passed out at the moment. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s praying to the porcelain gods sometime real soon.”
I have to laugh. This is so very Jenny. “Well, okay then. Should I be worried?”
“You do remember who you’re talking to, right? She’s my girl! Everything will be fine. She’ll have one hell of a hangover in the morning, but some ibuprofen and a greasy breakfast should cure that.” Laughter ripples through me, but I notice that I’m the only one. I hear Sam’s breathing change while she let out a long sigh.
“Are you okay, Sam?
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Well, that long sigh makes me think there’s something bothering you. I know it’s been awhile since we talked, but if you need someone to listen, I’m here.”
My mind drifts back to another time Sam answered Jenny’s phone. It had been about six months after Beth’s death, and she told me that she was sorry. She said that I could just talk and she’d listen. I remember thinking then that she was the only one who didn’t give me advice. She only wanted to listen, and that was refreshing.
“Thanks Ben, but there’s almost too much to say. You’d need at least a day to hear it all. I’ll be fine, though, thanks for the offer.” There’s some rustling in the background and a loud moan. “Guess who is up and running for the bathroom? I should go and check on her. I’ll tell her you called.”
“Okay, thanks.” The sudden pang in my chest tells me not to hang up yet. “Hey are you still meeting my parents for dinner tomorrow?”
“Absolutely! I wouldn’t miss dinner with them. They treat me better than my own parents. Yuck, there goes the puking. This will go down as a memorable night in our books.” I hear her laugh again and it warms me. God, she sounds wonderful. I want to keep talking to her just so I can hear her voice. As I’m trying to understand my feelings, her voice interrupts my thoughts. “Oh hey, how are things going with you?” That one question throws me off kilter. It’s a simple question, but not so simple an answer. Suddenly, Beth’s face comes into view, and I lose my mental balance. I panic and mumble some benign answer about being fine and winning and abruptly hang up.
“Fuck, real smooth, Ben!” I stand there for a moment trying to comprehend what happened. She’s the first girl that’s stirring my insides up—making me feel something. It’s been a long time, and I cautiously welcome it. Then I remember how I ended the call. I’m a complete moron. And to top it off, I hang up on her. It’s a good thing she’s in Boston, and I’m here. Chances of ever meeting her or talking to her again are slim. As I walk back into the pub, I try to suppress the disappointment that our call ended so quickly. And I’m the reason for it. Pussy.
Standing in my living room, I take a moment to collect myself. I look over at the picture of Ben that sits on our side table. He’s in his rugby uniform and looks spectacular. It’s almost cruel how good he looks. I faintly hear Jenny dry heaving in the bathroom, and I know that I should check on her.
I’ve talked to Ben before, and no one can deny his hotness, but this feels different. There’s something in his voice. It draws me in, and it’s a total turn on. Who am I kidding? I can think and fantasize all I want, but the chances of us hooking up are slim to none. For one thing, he’s Jenny’s brother, and second, he lives in California. And let’s not forget he’s still hung up on his dead fiancé. But still, I can’t deny his call has me thinking more.
The darkness of night fills up my room. My eyes feel heavy as I replay the day in my mind. Besides graduation, the one bright spot is Ben. I could take and leave my parents, but Ben—he’s a whole other story. My body feels lighter as I let my mind drift off. His voice, as always, is low, smooth as silk, but with an edge to it. It’s like one minute he can soothe you to sleep, and the next minute drive you to a mind-blowing orgasm, complete with moans, torture, and ecstasy. The all too familiar tingles make an appearance down below.
I’ve been touching myself to Ben’s image and voice for a while now. How could I not? He’s hot! It’s easy to do because I’ve never met him. There’s no relationship history there, just his voice and picture. Simply stated, he never talks back to me or makes crazy demands. He’s never made me feel bad about myself.
Nathan did get one thing right about me: I’m a hellcat. I love sex. But it’s been a while since I’ve let anyone in. I’m focusing on making the best choices for my battered heart and me.
“Sam. Sam, I need you.” My dirty thoughts are interrupted by Jenny’s cries.
“I’ll be right there.” Time to go deal with her drunken ass.
Finally, I’m able to get some rest. Jenny’s passed out in bed with a glass of water and ibuprofen on the table next to her. Surviving graduation with my parents in the same room together went better than expected.
Dinner with my dad and Megan was as I thought it would be. He acted like he cared and nodded his head when appropriate in the conversation. Megan had her hands all over my dad through most of the meal. She’s a giggler also. What’s up with that? No wonder I need to set up boundaries.
When I tell him about my job, I’m not surprised by his reaction. “That’s what happens when you go into a field like that. You make no money and they never have enough funds.” Explaining to him that teaching is not about the money, but a passion to educate minds, is futile.
At the end of dinner I finally get the nerve to ask him about moving home. I shouldn’t have been shocked by his answer, but for some reason, I was. He and Megan look at each other, and she actually winces in front of me. Bitch! She whispered something in his ear and put her hands under the table. He jumps slightly and chuckles. Ah gross, I so did not need to witness that. “Munchkin, I’m sorry, but Megan and I need time to be newlyweds. You living at home would not work out.” And then he did what most divorced parents do—he deflected to the other parent. “Go ask your mother.”
Taking a deep breath I move forward to the end of the evening—and Ben.
I recall our conversation. Imagining him ignites shivers through my entire body. It feels strange yet exciting. Smiling, I think about how he abruptly hung up. He mumbled something that sounded like ‘I’m fine and we won and scored a try.’ It came out as one elongated word. He seemed pretty rushed to get off the phone.
Taking a moment, I concentrate on his voice again. The tingles that have been festering from earlier tonight come back with a vengeance.
I close my eyes and hear his sexy voice. I imagine his perfect body and face. My senses are heightened as I visualize his thick, dark brown hair, smoky gray eyes, and suck-able lips. I picture him in his rugby uniform, all sweaty and dirty from playing. That’s all I need. I give into the visual pleasure and let it take me higher.
The familiar ache begins in my belly and starts its descent downward. Slowly my fingers tickle my breasts and move to my belly. I repeat this sensual tracing several times.
Reaching for my side table, I pull out my “BOB – battery operated boyfriend” vibrator and turn it on. The familiar hum reminds me of what’s to come. Starting at my nipples, I gently rub it over one, while I pull and tug on the other. My legs naturally come together, applying pressure to my clit.
The butterflies increase, and my breath turns into a pant. Slowly, I brush my fingers across my belly and back up to my breast creating a torturous yet sensual pattern. The sensation feels incredible. Slipping my fingers in my mouth first, I move lower and gently circle them around my swollen nub. Slow at first, then increasing in speed. Slipping one finger inside, then two, I begin to pump in and out.
Ben’s image takes me to the e
dge. Placing my vibrator against my clit, I turn my head into my pillow to quiet my moans. Within moments I explode, screaming his name. Wave after wave of tortured pleasure washes over me. It’s effortless. Gradually, my body comes down. Smiling, I still only think of that one person. Ben. My body is sated and relaxed; sleep comes without difficulty.
The sound of my phone ringing startles me awake. I glance at the clock and notice it’s only 8:30. Checking the caller ID, I answer as cheerfully as possible. “Hello, Mother. How are you this morning?” I try to stifle my yawn, so she won’t know I just woke up.
“Oh darling, you sound dreadful. Did you just wake up? You know that we have reservations at the Four Seasons for brunch at ten o’clock?” I pull the phone away from my ear, but unfortunately, I can still hear her. “I’m glad I called then. I had a feeling you would not be up. You need to get ready.”
“Yes, I know, Mother. I won’t be late. I’m about to get in the shower.” I can hear her place her morning teacup on the saucer.
“Yes, well you better get moving. You know I hate to be late.” Running my fingers through my hair and rubbing the sleepies out of my eyes, I tell her good-bye and head for the shower.
Standing under the spray, I pray the hot water will reduce the tension headache forming at the base of my neck. As the shower beats down, I practice how I’m going to ask my mother if I can move home. “Fuck!” I yell to no one.
I arrive at the restaurant with a few minutes to spare. I pace back and forth trying to figure out the best way to ask her. Not knowing how she’ll answer worries me.
“Sam, really, you want to move home? That’s not possible. Brian and I decided to move into the Florida condo, and I’m thinking of selling the house. Now is not a good time.” She lifts her napkin and pats her lips with elegance. “I have to get it ready to go on the market. Having someone living there could interfere with the work.” Nice.
“I’m not someone, Mother, I’m your daughter.” I try to hold back the bite in my voice. “Then what am I going to do? I can’t afford an apartment with no job. I need a place to live.”
Sighing, her face almost looks concerned, but it’s brief. “Well, why don’t you ask your father?” And there goes the deflection again.
“Mom, Dad said no. Can I please stay at the house until I find a job? I could even supervise the work being done.”
My mom pauses, and I’m hopeful she’ll say yes.
“I’ll think about it. Now let’s order, I’m famished!”
Dinner with the Fosters is always a trip. They’re some of the nicest and most generous people I know. They’ve always been so welcoming. They feel like family more than my own. Holding my hand, Jenny pulls me from my thoughts about brunch today. It’s hard not letting my mother’s harsh words get to me. Not too long ago, we used to have a great relationship, and now … well, now we co-exist.
“Earth to Sam … again. I told you not to worry about your mom right now. I have a plan.”
Looking back at Jenny, I try to hide the surprise on my face. “You have a plan? Will this plan actually work? I mean, no offense, but your plans can be a bit over the top.”
Jenny looks at me in all seriousness. “Seriously! When are you going to let that go? I really thought stealing Nathan’s clothes and hanging them from the trees in the quad was a great idea.” She pulls me into a hug as we both laugh at the memory of his clothes hanging from the trees.
“Yeah, it was super until campus police arrived!”
Jenny shrieks, “Well, at least we didn’t get arrested.”
Our laughter continues as we enter the restaurant. Jenny’s parents are sitting at the table, watching us with a look of delight.
Mr. Foster stands as we approach the table. “What’s so funny, girls? Jenny, are you plotting with Sam again? What sort of mischief do you have planned?” Jenny’s face mocks surprise, but she knows her dad is teasing.
“Hey, come on! I’m not always up to wacky things. In fact, I’m in the middle of the perfect plan. It just happens to involve everyone at the table.”
Okay, now I’m intrigued? What could it possibly be?
“Mom, Dad, Sam’s parents suck, and she needs a place to live. I think our place in Napa is perfect, don’t you? So what do you say? Sam, come to California with me.”
I practically fall off my chair. She can’t be serious. It’s a crazy idea. What would I do in Napa? I peek around the table and find Mr. and Mrs. Foster smiling at me. They don’t seem shocked at all.
“Sam, Jenny told us about what’s happening, and we want to help. Of course you will work for us, but you can live at Moon Dance until you decide what to do next.”
My eyes sting from tears. The love at this table is more than I’ve felt in a long time. The offer overwhelms me.
Jenny shifts her body to me. “What do you say, Sam, move back home with me?”
I stare at Jenny while formulating a checklist of all the reasons why I shouldn’t, but nothing comes to mind. I’ve got no job and nowhere to live. Taking a moment to compose myself, there’s only one answer. “Wow! Thank you so much. I don’t know what to say.”
Jenny whacks my arm “Say yes, you goof!” Taking a deep breath, I decide this is what I need to do.
“Okay, I’m in!”
Three days. It’s only been three days since I heard Sam’s voice over the phone. It’s like some sort of gravitational pull that my body can’t fight. It’s nerve-wracking and exhilarating all at the same time. I’m a mixed up mess while she pulls me in. Each time I think of her voice and the soft sighs she made, my stomach instantly flips and my cock twitches. Twice this week I jacked off to her in the shower. I’ve only seen her picture once. Jenny was visiting and showed me pictures of some hiking trip they did together. From my hazy memory, I call to mind her long, light brown hair with streaks of blonde through it. I can’t remember her eye color, but her smile is incredible, reaching all the way up to her eyes. When I think of Sam, I think of her smile and her soft, sweet voice.
Sitting on my couch, I take a minute to look around my apartment. I’ve been packing up some of my things to take with me to Moon Dance. The renovations in the barn loft are complete, and I’m going to be staying there for a while. With Jenny returning home, I need to be there to train her and start the groundwork for the expansion. We have several private events coming up that I need to make sure go smoothly.
Standing up, I grab some boxes and bring them out to my car. Once I’m packed up I decide to give Jack a call and see if he wants to grab a bite to eat. “Hey man, you up for grabbing some burgers and a beer?” I can hear him playing some Xbox game.
“Yeah man, I’ll meet you in twenty at the usual. Later.”
A few minutes later, I grab my keys and head to the door. My cell rings, and I grab it from my back pocket. Jenny’s face lights up the screen, and I slide my finger across. “Hey Jenny Bean, what’s up? You ready to come home?” The long pause on the other end lets me know that she is irritated.
“I told you not to call me that. You and Jack know it drives me crazy!” Laughing at her, I can visualize her face—pissed off.
“Well, that’s why we keep calling you that. My goal, as your big brother, is to irritate the shit out of you on a regular basis.”
Hearing her exaggerated sigh, she quickly spouts back at me. “Ass! But you’re lucky I love you. Anyway, the reason why I’m calling is about my trip home. Have you had a chance to talk to Mom and Dad yet?”
“No, why? Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine. I just wanted to let you know that Sam is coming home with me, too. She’s going to stay with us and work for at least the summer, maybe longer.” Did I just hear that right?
“Did you say Sam is moving out here?”
“She sure is. She had some crazy stuff happen to her this past year and over the last few weeks—things kind of fell apart for her. So I talked with Mom and Dad and they’re cool with her living with us.” Rubbing my hands through my
hair, I close my eyes and think about what she just said. Sam is moving here … to California … to Moon Dance. Holy shit. My heart rate increases and my palms get sweaty as my nerves kick in. Oh and I’ve been jerking off to her. Fucking terrific!
“Ben, are you still there? You didn’t answer my question.”
Oh crap, focus. “I’m sorry, must be the connection. What’s the question?”
“I asked if Sam could stay in your room since you’ll be in the loft.”
I nod my head, but quickly realize she can’t see me. “Ah … yeah, that’s cool. She can stay in my room. Is she flying home with you on Tuesday?” Please say yes. Please say yes. Wait, what am I saying?
“No, she has a few loose ends to tie up, but she’ll be flying out on Friday. I figure she can help with some of the wine tastings and private parties. She really needs this, Ben. She’s been through a lot and I want to help her.”
I can hear the sadness in my sister’s voice, and it breaks me. Whatever happened to Sam must be awful if Jenny’s upset about it. “No problem, we can find things for her to do, and I’ll make sure to be on my best behavior.”
Jenny snorts. “Why wouldn’t you be?”
Oh God! Why did I say that? This girl is getting to me, and I haven’t met her yet. “I mean, I will be my charming self and take extra good care of her.” Now I’m pulling my hair out of my head. I clearly can’t get my thoughts together.
She snorts again and chuckles. “Okay, I’m not sure what the hell you’re talking about, but just be nice. Don’t be an ass, and would it kill you to smile every once in awhile. You remember what smiling is, right? I haven’t seen you do that in a long time.”
My eyes drift up to the ceiling while I consider what she said. “Hey, just so you know, I had a nice talk with Gramps, and I’m working on taking some steps forward. Believe me, Jenny Bean, I want to smile again.” I can hear her gasp.