by Daisy Allen
I dial a number on my phone and pull the covers over my head.
“Mom? Can you come over please? I’m scared.”
***
“That. That’s what he’s all strung up about.”
My mother throws a pile of papers onto the coffee table. I hand her a cup of tea and she sinks down onto the couch.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” she asks me.
“The incident or the headlines?”
“Both.”
I grab the tabloid on top of the pile. There are gray, grainy pictures of Silas and me, in the parking lot of the club the other night. It’s dark and the picture is pixelated, but it’s clear that he has a strong hold of my throat and I’m trying to push him away, looking scared. The headline plastered across the page read “Fallen Rockstar? Nothing Gentle About This Gentleman.” The article writes an embellished account of what must have appeared to an observer as Silas chasing me down and trying to force himself on me.
And only letting go when the bouncer intervened.
Seeing the picture brings back the experience. A shiver runs through my body. I drop the paper and wrap my jacket tighter around me. My mom notices and gets up, hugging me tight. Her warm touch penetrates the wall I’ve been building around myself, my feelings, and they come crashing down.
“Oh Mom! I made such a big mistake!”
“Oh honey. It’s okay whatever it is. It can be fixed.”
“I don’t know if it can, Mom. Maybe it’s too late. Maybe it was just never meant to be.”
“Hogwash. The only thing that’s meant to be is how much you want something. The rest is up to you.”
She brushes the tears from my eyes and not for the first time I wonder if I’ll ever be as good a mother as she is.
***
After six grueling weeks, it’s finally time for Ben’s cast to come off. He seems subdued the entire ride to the hospital, cradling the cast as if he were going to miss it. Running his fingers along the words and pictures drawn to wish him well, he smiles as he comes to the figures that the band drew.
“Mommy, do you think I’ll be able to keep that cast?”
“Oh, um, I don’t know, honey. It might be a bit smelly. But maybe we can see if we can salvage at least some of it, okay?”
“I miss him.” We both know who he means.
“I know. I do too.”
“I wish he were here.”
“Me too, honey. Me too.” I kiss the top of his head, and decide not to lie and tell him that the feeling will go away.
We’re called into a room and the doctor comes in almost immediately.
“Oh, Ms. Butter, hello. Hi, Ben.”
“Hi, Mr. Doctor!”
“And um, is Ben’s father still outside or…?” The doctor asks, turning toward the door.
“Oh. Um, no. We aren’t…no, he’s not coming.”
“Are you sure? I just saw him.”
“What?” The fear instantly rises and I grab Ben’s good arm protectively, slightly panicked.
“Yes, I saw him outside. He said he would be in here for Ben’s cast removal.”
“No. He’s…I didn’t know he was here.”
“Yes, he’s a nice fellow. A bit enthusiastic. He was just talking about their next performance at that big festival next week.”
“Oh, I didn’t know they were playing. Is it the RockFever Fest?” Maybe The String Flingers had managed to get a spot after all.
“Er, I don’t know. He said somewhere in Leeds.” Oh. The RockFever Fest was going to be in Germany.
“Oh, here he is.”
The door swings open and I face the wall, needing a moment to compose myself before seeing Silas. I bite down hard on my tongue, suppressing the combination of anger and fear, wanting to put up a brave front for Ben’s sake.
“Hey! Am I late? Or can we get this show on the road, huh?”
“UNCLE BRAD!”
I swing around, and there he is, standing right there.
In a clown costume, with giant black shoes, pink polka dot suspenders, a cheesy grin painted on his face, and an enormous yellow daisy poking out of the hat on his head.
I stare at him, taking in the whole effect. I’m stunned. So I do what any other person would do in my position.
Laugh.
I laugh with a loud bursting guffaw. That builds into a shaking of my whole entire body. My lungs burn as I gasp for air, bending over, grabbing the edge of the bed for support as I drag air into my chest only to expel it in laughter again. My stomach aches as my muscles contract with uncontrollable mirth. My face streams with tears…of joy.
“I think…I think something is wrong with Mommy,” I can just hear Ben whisper to Brad over my laughter.
“Um, no. I think this is actually how she is, buddy.”
Which only makes me laugh even more.
I’m aware that six male eyes are watching me, but I don’t care. Something has shifted in the universe, and Brad in a clown costume caused it. And now, now it seems that shifting unbalanced me, and all the burdens fell off my shoulders. And so, I laugh. And I don’t ever want to stop.
Because I’m happy.
Because Brad is here.
He walks over to me, his giant shoes flopping on the ground, and for a moment, the laughter stops. He slides his hand behind my head and pulls me into a kiss.
My hands instantly come up to take his face between my palms, and I kiss him back. Kiss him like the world is ending. Kiss him like the world is being reborn. Kiss him with everything I am, and everything I will be …for him.
Gasping, we pull apart, staring at each other.
“Brad.” I say his name, like it’s my favorite sound in the world.
“Butter.” He grins at me…through his painted cheesy grin.
“And me!” Ben pipes up next to us.
“Let’s get this cast off, shall we? And then we can continue the party outside,” Brad suggests.
“Party?” Ben asks, squirming in his seat trying to see out the window.
“You’ll see. Just be a good boy for the doctor and stay completely still.”
Ben spends the next ten minutes mesmerized by the saw cutting into his arm. And I’m mesmerized by the clown standing next to me.
***
“What are you doing here? And why are you wearing…that? And what are you doing here? And why are you a clown?” I ask, pulling him into a quiet part of the corridor.
“I’m going to need you to prioritize your questions, Ms. Journalist.”
“Okay, then, ‘why aren’t you kissing me again, you clown’ is my first one.”
“Well, I could answer that, or I could just show you.”
“Shut up and do it.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him hard before he can say another word.
“You’re getting white paint all over your face,” he laughs when we finally pull apart.
“I don’t care.”
I don’t care. I only care that Brad is here, and I’m in his arms, and nothing else matters.
“Next question…What are you doing here?”
“I came to see Ben.
“Oh.”
“And you.”
“Oh.” I don’t even care that it makes me grin like a loon.
“And to tell you that you can never leave my sight ever again.”
“Done,” I say, slipping my hand into his.
“And not to disagree—wait what?”
“I said, ‘done.’”
“Well…now you’ve ruined the rest of my speech. The one time I’m prepared for your stubbornness and you thwart my good deed!” He pouts.
“Oops, sorry. I mean ‘NO!’”
“That’s better. The rest of my speech goes something like this: You can’t leave because…because I told you I would protect you and Ben forever, and I’m sorry it took so long, but I’m new to this. I’ll get better.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You
don’t have to work for Silas anymore. I know all about it. But you don’t. He can’t blackmail you anymore.”
“Wha? How?”
He hands me a stack of paper. I can’t focus on all of them—just the few words ‘Give up all rights as biological father to Ben Butter.’ I look up, mouth open.
“How…How did you get him to do this?”
“It doesn’t matter. I did. And now I want you to consider signing this form.” He hands me another contract. My eyes can barely focus through the tears.
“What is it?”
“Read it.”
They’re adoption papers. For Brad to adopt Ben. To make him his.
“Oh my God. Brad. No.”
“Oh.” His entire face falls in an instant, and it pulls my heart with it.
“No, I mean…have you really thought about this? What if you want to have your own child one day?”
“I hope I will, and not my own, our own. From this moment on, we’re going to be a family, Butter. Like we were always meant to be, and Ben is going to be my child, in my heart, in his, and on paper.”
“This is the weirdest proposal ever,” I blurt out, trying to process everything. The relief, excitement, the emotions.
“Oh whoa, wait, I wasn’t proposing!” Ben clarifies, and my ears roar with disappointment, and I turn away to hide the blush rising up my cheeks. Had I misunderstood everything he’d said?
“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
I turn around and my clown is on his knees.
“Now I’m proposing.”
“And now I’m saying yes!”
Brad jumps to his clown feet and picks me up, and my hair falls down around us, just like it always did. And I kiss him, and it’s perfect, just like it always was.
There’s a giant cheer and Jez, Marius, Sebastian, and Cadence come barreling around the corner, knocking us over in hugs. I barely have time to register that the rest of the band are in clown costumes, too.
All I know is that everything is finally as it’s meant to be.
Epilogue
Emily
“Another bucket of chicken wings, please,” Brad tells the waitress, “and please ask the cook to make these ones extra spicy—like my girl here. Since she’ll be the one eating them all anyway.”
He ducks as a chicken bone comes flying at his head.
“When does this thing start anyway?” Marius sits down, a beer in each hand.
“It’s been on all day, willy-wanker. We just wanted to watch the headline act.”
“Hey, you never told me, how did your label react to you guys pulling out?” I ask them.
“EMILY! A lady shouldn’t ask such questions,” Jez jokes, batting his eyelashes.
A chicken bone goes flying in Jez’s direction as well.
“You know what I mean, perv-pucker. They can’t have been happy that you pulled out of the festival.”
“Yeah, they weren’t. But let’s just say we promised we’d do whatever we had to to win another Grammy this year.”
“But your album’s already out now,” I say, confused.
“Yeah, I said we promised. I didn’t say we’d actually do anything.”
“Well, whatever happens, I can’t thank you guys enough. You…we both can’t thank you enough,” I say, reaching over and giving Jez a pat on his shoulder.
“What about me?” Brad pipes up.
“Okay, we three can’t thank you enough.”
“Ah,” Jez bats me away, “don’t mention it. You’re family.”
“And when Jez needs a new liver, it’s family we’ll be calling upon,” Cadence giggles.
“Oh hey, look, it’s starting.”
“How did they get Radiohead to reunite to headline the RockFever Fest?”
“I don’t know,” Sebastian shrugs and reaches over for a bite of my burger. “Maybe they had nothing to do.”
“Did you ever hear from Silas?” Cadence leans over and asks me.
“No. Just through the grapevine that after those pictures were released the festival’s organizers dropped them like hotcakes. Obviously knowing the music industry, the festival had a morals clause in the contract, and well, these days, no one really wants that kind of publicity. I can’t imagine how they must be feeling.” And frankly, nor do I care.
“And you? What about him and Ben?”
“He’ll calm down. I don’t want to ban him from seeing Ben. I won’t let him alone with him until he can prove he can be trusted. But he’s Ben’s biological dad and I know he loves him, as much as he can love anyone I guess. And a kid can use as many people to love him as possible.”
“Hear, hear,” Cadence replies and clinks her glass against mine.
“So, Mrs. Almost-Windsor, where do you think we should have this wedding?” Brad slides in next to me and whispers into my ear, his lips tickling my neck.
I lean into him, still not used to being able to reach out and touch him. “I dunno, maybe on a nice little cliff in Scotland somewhere.”
“That sounds like the perfect place to me too,” he sighs and kisses me.
“Hey! Maybe we can have a double wedding!” Sebastian suggests, and is rewarded with a horrified look from his fiancée.
“You have no idea about women! No woman wants to be the center of attention only to look out the corner of her eyes and see another woman in a wedding dress parading about!” Cadence explains, her arms in orchestra teacher mode, waving around, furiously.
“Wha? I thought it’d be fun. I mean we have the same guests, we can save money on you know… jalapeno poppers and stuff.”
Cadence turns to me, the horrified look on her face growing.
“JALAPENO POPPERS?” she yells.
Her fiancé grins at her. “Yeah, and then maybe we can just rent out a giant double king suite and all hang out together on our wedding night.”
The last thing I remember is a crash as I see Sebastian fall to the ground, his chair toppled over by his soon-to-be wife, and a bucket of barbecue sauce tipped over his head.
The End
The Music
These songs inspired the pieces that The Rock Chamber Boys play.
Here’s hoping it will help immerse you in their performances.
It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World :: James Brown
Wicked Games :: Chris Isaak
Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock n Roll) :: AC/DC
You’re So Vain :: Carly Simon
Flight Of The Bumblebee (composed by Rimsky-Korsakov :: performed by Hong Kong Pure String
Wings (composed by Birdy):: Performed by Sam Yung
About the Author
First thing about the author you should know is, she hates writing these “About the Author” things.
But if you should run into her in a café in her hometown of Adelaide, Australia, then for the price of a free smile, she’ll tell you details you never needed to hear about another person.
Her husband can vouch for this. It’s how they met. Kinda. But you’ll hear about that when you run into her in a café in Adelaide.
She hopes you liked her book though. Like, really. It’s pretty much all she’s ever wanted to do. Write a book that you’d want to read.
Thanks for helping to fulfil that dream.
Please subscribe to Daisy Allen’s email newsletter to receive information on upcoming new releases and bonus offers just for subscribers!
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Other Books by Daisy Allen
Available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited
The Rock Chamber Boys Series
Play Me: Book one.
An O’Reilly Clan Novel
Once Bitten
The Guardian: The first stand alone book in the Men of Gotham series due out early February.
Subscribe the Daisy’s newsletter for updates.
&nb
sp; * * *
[JD1]Since when?
[JD2]This is what you need to change to make clearer if she’s at his parents’ house.