I want to ask why he cannot, but I feel too inhibited to be so forward. I want to ask if he already loves another. I thought he liked me, because of the way he made me feel when I was with him. The shock on his face is greater than mine, when I hear the words, “Why can’t you?” rush over my lips.
His stunned surprise is quickly replaced by a smile of mischief, and I look down embarrassed. He brings his hand up to my head and he buries his hand in my hair, holding my head tightly to his silent chest. We stand there for the longest time when he suddenly says, “First impressions about people usually prove to be the truest, because your essence, that thing that makes you, is the first to react. From the moment I saw you, I felt comfortable with you. There is something about you that pulls me in, something that makes me want to be with you all the time.”
I pull my head away from his chest and I look up at him. The sincerity on his face makes me hesitate.
He says seriously, “You have had time to adapt to the different world, to live in sunlight and to integrate with people, to control your inner demon, whereas I have not. I cannot make you mine until I have experienced live in the sunshine myself. I cannot expect you to wait here for me, while I might be gone for years.” Softly he adds, “And that is why I can’t.”
Chapter Seventeen
As soon as the sun sets, we pile into the car.
Amanda upgraded her rental car to a larger vehicle. It would have been amusing trying to fit six large men into her tiny car. She was nervous the whole afternoon, because it was imperative we leave as soon as the sun set over the horizon and the delivery people with the car was late. The appointment with the High Court is for tomorrow night and you did not postpone a summoning.
We will have to drive a fraction above the speed limit, if we are going to get to Mont-Saint-Michel before sunrise. Nobody knows where we would be able to stay during the day if we could not make it.
Callum, Herman and Justin sit tightly packed into the back seat. Amanda sits in the front, in the passenger seat. Peter will be driving. I find it amazing how Amanda has started to relax. All of us are working hard in the château and Amanda is pleased that it is livable again – not perfect according to her specifications, but we are getting there.
Although the car is bigger, I still end up sitting on Callum’s lap. I feel self-conscious, because his reasons why he could not love me seem insignificant and the way I feel about him is obvious.
My legs are stretched across the legs of Herman and Justin. Claude and Edward are squashed up in the hatch area at the back of the car. When we pull away from the château, I rest my back against the door behind me, listening amused to Claude and Edward complaining continuously.
They all talk, but I stare at the passing scenery across from me in the opposite window. Every now and again, I see a house flash past and the moon is hovering on the horizon, keeping pace with us.
My mind returns involuntarily to Andrew. I feel down, because although I want to experience the greatness of love, love does not want me. Andrew is half way around the globe and far removed from my world. Although he knows me, every dark secret, it makes no difference in the end.
I could love Callum, I could be with him, but he does not want me.
Tiredly I lean my head back against the window behind my head and Callum softly pushes his arm in between my back and the door. He folds his arm around my shoulders tenderly and he pulls me gently toward him, while I willingly lay my head on his strong shoulder.
He folds his other arm around me and he cradles me against his chest. He rests his cheek against my head and my head fits perfectly in the fold of his neck. After a while, I close my eyes.
I wake up when I feel him kissing me softly on my head and he whispers softly, “Wake up, my red-haired girl.” Although he whispers, I know everybody in the car can hear him and I sit up quickly. I ask, “Are we there?”
Justin answers, “We are here, and it looks imposing.”
I lean forward and look out of the front window. The abbey is on a little island. A giant wall encircles it and it is completely surrounded by sea, the ocean water crashes thunderously against the wall. The high towers of the abbey rise into the sky, like a mountain.
Everybody gets out of the car and I am about to slide across the seat, when Callum lifts me under my legs and lifts me while he gets out the car. Gently he puts me down on my legs.
I suddenly have the urge to burst out. I want to tell him here and now his reasons for not wanting to love me are stupid, although it is the most inappropriate moment ever.
I say nothing.
Callum takes my hand and silently I walk with him across the beach and into the waves toward the abbey. When it gets too deep to walk, we swim.
We reach the wall and we climb up it effortlessly. We walk through the quiet medieval lanes up toward the abbey. The sky is starting to lighten and I realize with relief that we made it here in time.
When we reach the large, rough wooden doors of an old house, it swings open silently, before we even have the opportunity to knock.
We walk in and then an old, hunched-over man guides us toward a richly decorated room. The furnishings in the room are dark wood and burgundy velvet. The rough stones in the walls remind me of medieval castles. I notice there are no windows and the stonewalls must be very thick, the large chandeliers hanging from the roof are the only light.
Nobody talks and the atmosphere is hushed. The old man leaves the room pulling the doors shut behind him.
We stand around awkwardly. I see Amanda look at Callum reproachfully where I am still standing next to him and my hand is still resting in his large palm.
It feels as if hours have passed, before we hear the doors open again.
Four cloaked men walk in. They have amused bored expressions. You can however see that they have lived far too long. Their skin is almost see-through. They look very old and tired.
Three of the men have the hoods of their cloaks hanging over their shoulders, but the man standing closest to us, has his hood over his head. The hood is deep and his face is hidden in the shadows.
His voice is deep and resonating and it is disconcerting hearing his voice, but not seeing his face. “Susanna, I am pleased to see that you have decided not to pursue your relationship with the human.”
I feel Callum stiffen next to me and I lower my head and look at the floor. Fear settles itself in my chest, because this man frightens me.
He addresses Amanda next, “Amanda, I am sorry to hear about Shayne. It must be difficult for you. We were closing in on Ethan and his friends, but you got there before us. Thank you.”
Amanda nods her head in acknowledgement.
He then turns toward Peter, assuming that he is the leader of the six savages, Amanda and I had discovered. “I find it unbelievable that you had to race here at night, because you were afraid of the sun. I cannot remember when last that was a problem and we are amused to learn that there are still vampires like yourself.”
Peter replies, “Your eminence, we were just as amazed to learn that there were different ways of living.”
The other three men step forward, interested.
The first man speaks again and I wish he would remove his hood, “Introduce yourself.”
Peter bows at the waist, “Your eminence. My apologies. I am Peter.” As he introduces Herman, Claude, Justin, Edward and Callum, they step forward individually.
One of the other three men step forward, “We have much to discuss. Please be seated.”
We all sit down. It seems so casual, but I know one wrong move or sign of disrespect and they will kill us so fast, we will not even see it coming.
It feels as if we have been here for days and eventually the Four Judges’ curiosity is satisfied. They leave the room silently and I turn to Amanda, wondering where the medication is when the old, hunched man enters the room.
He hands each of them a brown paper bag with a big yellow smiling face on the outside. He instructs them, and
I notice there is not a tooth in his wrinkled mouth, “You are to stay here for six days. Drink one pill every morning at sunrise. On the seventh day you may leave.” He looks up at Amanda. “It will be your responsibility and only yours to make sure they integrate into society.”
They say thank you and then the man leaves the room. We stand around unsure.
Amanda asks softly, to no one in particular, “Do we stay in this room?”
Peter says, “I suppose so.”
Edward laughs. “My god, I cannot imagine that in a few short days I will be walking in the coveted daylight.”
Herman and Claude start laughing with him. I see Justin rush toward Peter and they hug for a long time.
Later a woman brings in a tray with wine and amused I notice that it is a vintage from my estate. A wine Francois produced. The Four Judges evidently have a sick sense of humor.
I walk toward the fireplace and I sit down in front of the fire. I watch the blue, orange flames lick against the wood.
Callum walks toward me and when he reaches me, he hands me a glass of wine and then he sits down next to me. His knee touches mine and I look at him sadly, but I do not want him to see that he is breaking my frozen heart, and maybe because it is unmoving and rock-hard, it hurts excruciatingly more. I smile at him and he reaches his hand toward mine.
I see him look over my shoulder toward the others and then he leans toward me. “Susanna I love you, I have loved you from the first moment I saw you and I will always love you. I always knew there was someone for me, although after all these years I have never met her, until I saw you. Hundreds of years, I have waited for you. We have forever and I want to go and experience the colors of each city that previously I have only seen in shades of grey and black.”
“I could go with you.” My voice has a pleading tone.
“No, you cannot, my red-haired girl. Amanda needs you.”
I realize that he is talking the truth. I could not leave Amanda. She has always been there for me. She has been the closest thing I have to a mother, and love will endure. I will wait for him, because could I really take the pleasure and enjoyment of living in the day away from him. I remember my first years. It was as if I was seeing everything again for the first time.
He smiles tenderly. “The other night I never said I could not love you. I said I could not make you mine just yet.”
I look over my shoulder toward Amanda and she is staring at me. She does not look at us condescendingly anymore, she looks sad. I know she can hear every word.
I take a sip of my wine and I look over the rim of my glass at Callum. I will convince him to love me completely before he leaves and on his last night I will attempt to seduce him.
Chapter Eighteen
On the morning of the seventh day, the old man opens the large double doors widely for us.
Herman asks hesitantly, “Is seven days enough?”
Claude confirms his own hesitation by asking nervously, “Why is it seven days, anyway?”
Amanda replies solemnly, “It is supposed to have biblical significance.”
Justin says disbelievingly, “Those four imagine themselves to be God?”
Amanda hushes him loudly, “Are you crazy? Do you want to get yourself and me killed?”
I feel the tension in Callum’s hand while he holds onto my hand tightly.
We walk out of the room and then through the large archways and high roofed cathedral rooms until we leave the old medieval mansion. We walk into the pre-dawn and we swim back to the beach where Peter parked the car.
Once we are standing on the beach, we turn toward the ocean and when the sun peeks over the horizon, I feel Callum shudder. I see Herman take a few steps backward and Justin bring up his hand to shield his face.
I look at Callum when it dawns on him that he is standing in full sunlight, when I know he can feel those weird pinpricks of light on his skin, and when he can hear a strange music in his ears. His face lights up and he looks at me pleased. He leans down toward me and he scoops me up into his arms. He holds me tightly to him and I feel the laughter bubble through him and out of his mouth. I remember my first time and I know how he feels, it is truly unbelievable.
The cynical laughter of the Four Judges echo through the early morning sky toward us.
Later we all get into the car again and sitting on Callum’s lap, I enjoy the new sights with him. I can imagine his joy and total bliss, the multitude of colors you cannot imagine even with an electric light, candle or gaslight. There is a certain way the sunlight will filter through the leaves of a tree, or glint off a blade of grass.
When we get home later that evening, because we drove home at a more reasonable speed, we are all tired.
They go out to feed and Amanda admonishes them to make sure they behave themselves.
I wait for them and when they get back the next morning, Callum walks straight to me.
He is reluctant to go to sleep and together we walk out into the sun. He turns toward me. “I cannot believe how bright everything is. Although you described it, I could never have imagined how it would have looked.”
I smile. “Amazing, isn’t it?”
We spend the entire day outside. We walk hand in hand along the river and we sit in the fields with the high grass gently swaying in the breeze. Callum looks astonished up at the sky and watches an eagle soar across the sky as if mesmerized. We joke and talk and I know I will miss him when he goes.
That evening late, he kisses me softly, fleetingly on my lips and then he goes down to the cellar. He will be leaving the next day and he is leaving on his own.
I wait for Amanda to fall asleep and then softly I get up from my couch. We still sleep in the lounge, because we have not started fixing the upstairs. The floorboards need restoration first, before we can even consider sleeping in the rooms.
I walk through the house quietly toward the kitchen and then into the cellar. I follow the arched passageway toward the tunnel where he showed me he slept.
The tension in my stomach is overbearing as I enter his tunnel and then softly I walk toward his bed.
Quietly, I slide in next to him. I put my head on his arm, which he has wedged under his head and I put my arm over his chest.
My fingers softly brush over his skin and I hear him mumble softly. He turns over onto his side and I see him smiling. He whispers, “Susanna.”
I smile shyly. I do not care if he thinks I am a girl without any morals, but I am not going to wonder what it could have been like. I know without a doubt that I want to be with him for the rest of my eternal life.
He puts his arm over my waist and he straightens out his arm under my head. He folds his arm around my shoulders and then he pulls me closer into him. I find his lips and I kiss him. I part my lips and then I taste him. I hear him groan softly as he pulls me closer into him. I feel every inch of him next to me.
He pulls his lips away from mine slowly and hoarsely he whispers, “We should not go all the way. I want to marry you, Susanna. I want to do it the way we are supposed to do it, not just become partners or mates, but I want you to be my wife. I want to stand in a church and declare to the world and to God that I love only you. That I want to spend my everyday with you.”
I laugh softly. “Do you even believe in God?”
“I believe that there must be something greater than us, although God probably does not want me.”
“How could God not want you?”
“I used to think God did not care about me, because he let this happen to me, but then I met you and I realized that if I was not like this I would probably never have met you. I am sure He still does not want me though. Perhaps one day I could develop a serum that would help us to digest normal food and we could stop feeding on humans. Stop being murderers.”
“I think it has been tried. We are stuck with drinking human blood.”
“So, Susanna?” He changes the morbid subject.
“Yes?”
“Will you marry m
e in a church when I get back?”
I laugh pleased. “Yes, I will marry you in a church when you get back.”
“I won’t be gone long, I promise.”
“It’s okay. I understand why you have to go, I honestly do, and I will wait right here for you.”
I move to get up, but he pulls me closer into him. He nuzzles me in the neck. “I said we should not go all the way, because of my conventional background, but there is no harm if you just stayed here with me tonight, is there?”
Pleased I agree. He finds my lips and I sink into him.
*
The next morning he leaves, but I know it is not for long and I smile sadly while I wave goodbye to him.
Edward, Justin, Peter, Herman and Claude decide to stay and I hear them discussing how they are going to start working on producing a wine that will be even more extraordinary than the wine we drank at Mont-Saint-Michel and produced by Francois. I hear Edward say it is a matter of principle to better Francois, in the memory of William.
Chapter Nineteen
When I see the hills turn pink with wild heather, I wonder if Callum is okay.
We have restored the château to its former glory. Herman, Claude, Edward, Justin and Peter now sleep upstairs. They moved from the cellars so that we can arrange the wooden barrels and get the cellar organized for all the wine we are planning to produce.
Amanda and I have our own wing. I also insisted on a room for Callum. Justin and Peter share a room.
We leave the area where Callum had placed the piano and chairs. It is a snug place for me to go and sit when I missed Callum too much. I sit there and read his old books and then I feel closer to him, because these must have been his favorites.
Peter takes over the role as our person in charge and Amanda relinquishes this role eagerly.
The Vampire Pirate's Daughter Page 12