by Dawson, H A
Whilst her complaints weren’t unjust, she did wonder if her disapproval was too negative. If she had been gentler in her approach praising him for what he did right before pointing out his errors, she may have been more persuasive. Then, the decision to create a better relationship would have come from him, and his eyes wouldn’t have wandered.
Hindsight was a wonderful thing. Heavy-hearted, she parked the car outside her house and started to the door. Glassy-eyed, she presented the key to the lock. Then she saw it. Daubed across the glass were the words, ‘selfish bitch.’
Tears stung her eyes. Not able to suffer any more pain, she hurried inside, shut the door, blanking it from view, and curled onto the sofa. Disconsolate, she whimpered and moaned pressing a cushion to her abdomen.
Who was doing this to her, and why couldn’t they make their complaints face to face? More importantly, why was her relationship with Nick such a concern to anyone else? It wasn’t their business.
And they didn’t even have their facts right.
Another regret formed in her mind. If she had told everyone the truth at the start, about agreeing to Nick’s request under duress, none of this would be happening.
Suffering agonised distress, she reached for the phone and dialled her mother’s number. When Carol answered, all Stacy could manage was to mumble her mother’s name.
‘What’s happened?’ her mother asked softly.
She puffed and sniffled, until eventually, her voice returned. She started by speaking of the message on the door, recounted her the visit to the police station, and then questioned her antagonist’s motives. Neither of them could see any reason why she had been targeted, and both struggled to accept the person responsible was one of her friends.
‘My relationship with Nick is nothing to do with anyone else.’
‘No, it’s not. It sounds to me like it’s an excuse.’
‘For what?’
‘I don’t know. But be assured, if Luke is as thorough as you say, he will find out.’
Learning which one of her friends despised her was not a comfortable thought. However, when her mother pointed out it may not be someone she was close to, a tad of hope swept through her body. She couldn’t bear the thought of it being Jenny, Christie or Kim, and had to believe it was someone else.
‘Now, about Nick,’ Carol said. ‘Are you going to go visit him again?’
‘I’d like to, but he made it clear he doesn’t want me. I haven’t seen him so sure of himself, or as positive as he was when he told me his decision. It must have been on his mind for ages. It was a massive relief.’
‘Are you certain that’s how he was? Let’s say for a second Kirsty is what Nick wants. He had just learned he could be paralysed for the rest of his life. No matter how much of a release it was for him telling you he was breaking up with you, he wouldn’t be feeling overjoyed.’
A trickle of joy brightened her face. ‘Do you think he was lying?’
‘I do think he was hiding something. Either way, you deserve a better explanation. Even if Nick chooses not to be with Kirsty, you may never be able to forgive him for what he’s done, but at least you’ll know the facts.’
‘It might be worth a go?’ she said, rising to her feet.
‘You owe it to yourself to learn the truth.’
Her mother’s reassuring words rotated in her mind as she passed through the main hospital doors and walked along the corridors up to the staircase. Climbing the steps rather than taking the lift allowed her to use a little of her adrenalin. It also settled her mind, and by the time she arrived outside Nick’s ward, she was less nervous and more confident than she had been a couple of hours earlier.
She took a deep breath, opened the swing doors and gazed along the row of beds to where Nick was situated. She spotted the rear of a slender long-haired woman by his bedside, Nick was laughing, Stacy turned and rushed away, and stopped when she reached a railing near the staircase.
As she leaned over, her heart pounded, her head spun. Nick was happy. He was staring adoringly into Kirsty’s eyes; he was laughing; he was with the woman he loved.
‘No!’ she moaned. ‘No!’
Her breathing quickened as her chest heaved, her legs wobbled, she did not have the strength to go further. Instead, she trudged a couple of metres to a seat, sank into the soft fabric, and bent over and clasped her head in her hands.
‘Are you all right?’ a voice said.
Stacy glanced up to a twenty-something woman with a kind expression, her badge showed her name to be Alyssa, a charity worker. The details did not register, the words did not sink in even though she stated her function, her duties were to counsel people suffering serious physical traumas.
However, despite Stacy’s reluctance to listen, Alyssa continued to speak in a compassionate voice, drawing her out. After what seemed like an extended time, Stacy told her of Nick’s accident, sparing the details of their separation, and it proved a huge release.
‘I take it your relationship is suffering.’
Stacy nodded.
‘That’s understandable. But there is help available … for both of you,’ she said, and continued to share details of support groups that were available for those people in similar situations to hers. ‘I’m not suggesting for a second that Nick won’t make a full recovery, but in my experience, if you’re ready for the worst, the process will be easier to deal with.’
‘I’m not sure if it’ll help. Nick won’t speak to me.’
‘Pushing you away is a common factor. He’s likely to believe he’s protecting you.’
Stacy’s face tightened. It wasn’t true at all. He was using the accident as a means of moving on. Nonetheless, she chose not to speak out, preferring instead to keep everything to herself.
‘I can tell you disagree,’ Alyssa said, ‘that’s natural.’
She remained silent.
‘There’s a group that meets Thursday evenings in the summer in Chesterton park. They’d welcome you along. They meet by the café at five o'clock.’
‘I don’t know if I’m ready. Nick might feel I’m interfering.’
‘Nick won’t know what he wants at this stage. You’re going to have to guide him.’
Stacy expression was filled with hope.
‘I’m going to have to dash. Please take my card.’ She handed it across. ‘I’ll help where I can, as will anyone in the team.’
Feeling more upbeat, she watched as Alyssa strode into the ward, and disappeared from view. Hesitating to leave, she wondered if she should go to speak with Nick, but she hadn’t noticed Kirsty leaving, and didn’t want to burst in and act as a bitter partner. So, albeit reluctantly, she descended the stairs and exited the hospital.
Driving home, the conversation with Alyssa continued to prey upon her mind, and she regretted her decision to leave without speaking to Nick. Alyssa may be right in saying he didn’t know what he wanted, but it also seemed true of her too. However, she was certain of one thing; she felt unable to go to her yoga class the following evening.
Just the thought caused her stomach to churn and her chest to knot. Facing them all would be impossible, Christie particularly, who she knew she had hurt. Her thoughtlessness may have cost her a good friendship, and right at that moment, she needed everyone.
Giving it a miss, just the once, would not cause her harm, and the group Alyssa suggested had provided her with was the perfect excuse. It may even help her with her relationship with Nick, although that seemed like a long shot.
Why was she even considering it?
He had turned her away, cheated on her and broken her heart, and yet she still wanted to help him. Was love really that blind?
Chapter 8
Kim’s house was larger than Luke expected, having been told she was a single woman living alone. Detached, and at a guess, with three or four bedrooms, it seemed more suitable as a family home. His instincts were correct, as he and Imogen were invited inside, the numerous family photographs were the
first thing he noticed. There were a couple of photos of an elderly woman, but the rest were a boy. Given Kim was in many of them, she assumed he was her son. The boy’s father was not present.
Using them as a conversation aide, he made appropriate comments. Immediately, Kim’s eyes flashed with adoration, but then a dark cloud formed on her face, and for a few seconds, she stared into space. Willing her to speak, both he and Imogen remained silent.
‘He is a lovely boy,’ Kim said eventually.
‘You must miss him,’ Imogen said.
She stared back annoyed. ‘What makes you think he doesn’t live here?’
Imogen’s jaw loosened. ‘We were told you lived alone as part of the investigation. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. That wasn’t my intention.’
‘It’s not your business.’
‘No. You’re right, it’s not.’
Kim glanced between them, her expression softening. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. And you’re right. I do miss him … like crazy. But I’ve been victimised. Maybe I should be the one hiring you rather than Stacy.’
‘There may be options open to you. You should stop by the office. We offer-’
‘Joke? No one can help. I’ve tried everything. I’m better off accepting what’s done is done and that my life is over.’
Imogen flashed Luke a glance, before returning her attention to Kim. ‘Surely, your son is worth a little effort … it’s not necessarily costly. It depends on the options you chose.’
‘Don’t you think I’ve tried? As I said, I’ve been victimised, and quite frankly, I don’t want to talk about it, so if you don’t mind …’
‘Of course.’ Imogen pulled out a business card from her handbag and placed it on the coffee table. ‘If you change your mind, give us a call.’
Kim glared. There was a look in her eyes that unsettled Luke, but he couldn’t be certain whether she had been drawn into a conversation she hadn’t wanted to have, or if it was deeper rooted and linked to the stress of their questions. Either way, if it remained, their visit wouldn’t be productive, and so changed his tact to calm the situation, apologised for creating a tense atmosphere, and opened the interview.
‘What kind of relationship do you have with Stacy?’
‘She’s all right … friendly, chatty, pleasant enough.’
‘Would you say you’re close?’
‘Close? No. She’d probably say differently, though.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘It’s something she’s said a few times in the past. She values the friendships she has within our group.’ Chuckling, she shook her head. ‘It’s quite funny when you think about it, given what she did to Christie.’
‘We heard about that. How do you feel about it?’
‘I can see why Christie and Jenny were hurt, but at the end of the day, it’s not such a big deal, is it? I’ve much worse on my plate.’ She paused, regarding their interested expressions. ‘In fact, it benefits me since it’s a singles night. I told her as much.’
‘And you offered her your support.’
Kim nodded. ‘I doubt she realises it, but she’s a very lucky woman. She has everything – at least she did until the accident. She had an amazing partner, great job, her parents are alive, and to boot she has friends who pay an interest in her life. I don’t have any of that.’ She leaned back into the sofa. ‘Christie’s nice, I suppose. I’d say I was close to her.’
Luke was pensive. ‘You say you like Stacy, yet I detect a negative undertone.’
‘Yeah, sorry.’ She looked at her folded arms. ‘I’ve had a rough time of it of late. Aside from what happened with Benny, I’ve lost my mother.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
‘So the bitterness you’re hearing is more about what I don’t have rather than anything to do with Stacy.’ She concentrated her focus. ‘Stacy is a good soul, and I will do what I can to help you find whoever is hurting her, especially after what she’s been through with Nick and the accident.’
‘Have you met Nick?’ Luke asked.
A nervous look passed between them. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘I was just wondering what you think of him.’
‘I did meet him once. He’s a lovely man. In fact, I’d go as far as saying he’s one of the nicest men I’ve met. He’s thoughtful, generous … truly lovely. Once, I was with Benny in the park and he fell into the pond. Nick happened to be there – I can’t remember why – and he waded in and pulled him out. Then, he offered to take us home. By the time we got back, his car was filthy. He didn’t know even who we were – we were complete strangers. It’s only later when Stacy showed me a photo that I realised they were partners.’
‘Quite the good Samaritan.’
‘I would say so. He doesn’t deserve his paralysis.’
‘Does anyone?’
Kim stilled, her expression harsh.
Unable to draw her out any further, and believing he had learned enough about Kim’s personal relationships and preferences, Luke moved the conversation on. Despite asking multiple questions about the fraudulent sandwich business, mass marketing, and Pickard’s, they learned nothing and ended what seemed to be an irrelevant interview.
He wanted to discuss the matter on the journey back to the office, but Imogen had other things on her mind and announced she had been making plans as to how to use him as a slave.
A glint formed in his eye. ‘I don’t want to do anything too physical. Underneath this very masculine exterior is a feeble man.’
Imogen laughed. ‘I know that. Don’t worry, I’m not going to have you doing anything you won’t enjoy.’
He passed her a searching glimpse. ‘I’m intrigued.’
‘Be intrigued, but lay off the questions because you’ll learn nothing.’
‘I’m a patient man.’
‘So I’ve realised. Too patient if you ask me.’
He gave her a curious glance, his pulse quickening, and his hope rising. Imogen was gazing out of the side window, and there was a satisfied smile on her face. Was she searching for something more from their relationship? Dare he hope?
Chapter 9
Changing a habit that has lasted for almost ten years created turbulence within Stacy reciprocated by the knotting in her stomach. More than anything, she wanted to go to yoga, but her anguish was so intense that she couldn’t force herself to act. The thought of facing Christie and Jenny’s wrath, and possibly the same from others too, was too much to tolerate. Her stress was high as it was, and should she go, she would be opening herself up to another mental beating. It was more than she could handle. She needed support not bitterness. She needed her friends.
Noting it was four thirty, almost time to make a decision, she reached for a cushion, pressed it to her middle, and raised her legs to the sofa. Scenes that had occurred over the last couple of weeks flashed unhindered into her thoughts. Back then, she had been happy with her life. It seemed implausible to believe almost every aspect of life had changed so completely.
Aside from Nick being permanently on her mind, classes at school were still tense. Whilst comments relating to her private life were less frequent, they still occurred, generating a feeling of unease. It didn’t make for happy days, and it was an unfamiliar sensation. Normally, teaching was her escape; normally, during her lowest moods, she left replenished and revitalised at the day’s end.
Realising
the troubles at school were the least of her worries caused her torment to intensify and her face to scrunch. It was times like this that friendships were key. If only she could take back her email relating to the meal. At least then, she would have Christie and Jenny on her side to help her through her troubles.
A thought flashed into her mind. She may not be able to reverse time, but she could apologise for her actions. It may even go some to ending the chain of regrettable events.
Feeling a new spark of energy, she leapt from her seat and switched on the computer. After a
few minutes waiting for it to settle, she accessed her email account, found the original message regarding the suggestion of a meal, and having had a quick read, created another, sending it to all members of yoga.
Stacy didn’t withdraw her suggestion of a meal but made it clear she had been hasty in her decision to do it without consulting Christie, and made a full apology. As soon as it was sent, she felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and turned off the monitor, and considered her outing.
Whilst going to yoga felt less traumatic than earlier, missing it wasn’t as much as a concern either. She wanted everyone to see the email before they saw her, and decided to go to the park to check out the support group. Firstly, she had one more thing to do, and pulled her phone from her bag and sent a brief text message to Kim, telling her of her decision to miss yoga.
Her reply was swift: ‘Thanks for telling me … miss you.’
She smiled at her response, grabbed her jacket from a peg in the hallway, and exited her house.
Speaking with other people in situations similar to the one she had found herself in may help her rebuild her tattered relationship. Of course, Nick’s decision to end their relationship could be obdurate, but as her mother had said, she owed it to herself to try to try to make amends.
Stacy made swift progress to the park, and once she had parked the car, progressed through the gate and walked diagonally across the grass, heading to the café. It was a beautiful evening; the sun was shining, the air was still and warm, and there were multiple family groups and other individuals, playing on the grass or enjoying the relaxing scene.
Walking along, and feeling encouraged and inspired by her earlier action, she felt for the first time in a couple of weeks her life was about to make a sudden and positive change. When the café came into view, a couple of hundred metres in the distance, she scanned for the group. Her hopes were high. Surely, other people had been a similar situation to the other she found herself in. Suffering a break-up after a serious injury couldn’t be that uncommon. Someone may be able to advise her as to how to progress with Nick and reassure her that his harsh words and his leanings towards Kirsty were not his true thoughts.