by Dawson, H A
‘Yes, of course. Thanks for coming.’
‘That’s okay.’
The prospect of following in her great-grandmother's footsteps caused her to tingle with excitement as she watched Luke and Imogen leave. It was wonderful to talk to someone who didn’t think her yearning was bizarre. However, when she returned to the kitchen the newly acquired information regarding Janet, Karen and Fiona, crept back into her mind, and her ache intensified. What more secrets did Janet carry? The thoughts and possibilities were perturbing.
Chapter 23
Leanne slowed the car to a virtual halt, turned the steering wheel to park in the makeshift drive, and turned to face Tyler. His mouth was ajar, his eyes wide with wonderment.
‘What do you think?’ she asked.
He ran his slender fingers through his short, blond hair. ‘This is all ours?’
‘It is.’ She unbuckled her seatbelt. ‘Come on, I’ll show you around.’
She exited the car, and careful to stay on the trampled grass, escorted Tyler to the rear of the house. His bewilderment silenced him. She kept turning, checking he was still there, ensuring it was not just a dream, and noted his eyes scanning the land and the house.
‘I’m going to have to spend some money on the garden,’ she said.
‘Just a bit.’
‘It won’t take that long to sort out. Don’t look so overwhelmed.’
‘I didn’t think it would be this large.’
‘Wait until you see inside.’
Leanne lifted the key from her bag, unlocked the door and pushed it open. It was still sticking a bit, but nothing too severe.
‘Wow!’ he said, standing in the lobby. ‘This is almost as big as our living room.’
‘Have a wander around. This is your home too. I’ll go make a drink.’
‘Have you any fruit juice?’
‘Of course. I’ve bought in everything you like. Do you want a piece of flapjack too?’
‘Please.’
She flicked on the kettle, removed the juice from the fridge and extended her arm to reach for a glass from the top cupboard. Her smile was constant and her happiness bubbling.
‘There’s a piano,’ he called out.
She headed towards him. ‘Now’s your chance to learn.’
He smoothed his hand across the shiny surface then meandered around the room. ‘I don’t like the wallpaper.’
‘Me neither. It was fashionable once upon a time.’
‘No taste,’ he said.
She followed in his shadow as he moved between the rooms, occasionally commenting on the furniture and décor and peering into every corner, every alcove. His expression of delight was beautiful, and she secretly studied his slender frame, wanting to keep this moment forever carved into her mind.
They headed up the stairs and into the bedrooms, and remarked on the paintings, old pieces of furniture, and the view across the fields. She prayed that she was correctly analysing his expression and that he was as enamoured with the place as she was. However, a reminder of the fact his stay was for two days crushed any feelings of delight and triggered a sense of hopelessness. She wanted to tackle him for his brainless decision, persuade him to abandon Darren, even command him to stay with her. Was she being unreasonable? Dismissing her desperation, she told herself it was not forever. He would return next weekend. He would return every weekend. He would always be her son.
Determined to enjoy every moment, they headed back downstairs where she asked him about his time with Darren and the activities they had shared. As the conversation progressed, and Tyler described his father as funny, easy-going, and a man’s man, she sensed a lack of discipline and feared that Darren only saw his role as that of a friend. She envisaged them sharing beers over a late-night movie and making crude comments about women in bars, thoughts that turned her stomach. However, clutching at the immense pleasure that was his company, she maintained her silence and her upbeat mood.
There was a knock at the door. She bolted to her feet, glanced out of the window, and headed to the outer door. Steven had his hands huddled in his pockets and Tansy was panting by his side.
‘Hello,’ she said brightly.
Steven glanced over her shoulder. ‘Sorry, I didn’t know you had company.’
‘This is my son, Tyler. He’s staying for the weekend.’ She turned to her son. ‘And this is Steven, a friend.’
‘Nice to meet you,’ Steven said, ‘do you like the house?’
‘Yes, it’s bigger than I expected.’
‘That’s what your mum said. I can imagine you having a party or two here. What music are you into?’
‘Anything rocky. I like a few of the local groups. I doubt you’ve heard of them.’
‘Are you in a band?’
‘No. I’ve thought about it though. I can sing pretty well.’
Leanne caught Steven’s eye. ‘He’s very good. He’s always singing in the shower.’
‘Mum!’
‘You shouldn’t be ashamed, you have a beautiful voice.’ She turned to Steven. ‘He sang at Gran’s eightieth birthday party. Everyone loved it.’
Shaking his head, Tyler headed out of the lobby and into the room with the piano, leaving them alone.
‘I bet you shed a tear or two,’ Steven said.
She smiled. ‘Come into the kitchen. I’ve been wanting to see you.’
They sat opposite each other. Steven settled Tansy and then reached out for her hand. ‘I’m sorry if I upset you the other day.’
‘No . . . you didn’t. It’s just . . .’
‘A bit soon?’
‘I think so.’
He nodded. ‘I understand.’
He squeezed her hand, causing her skin to tingle and her pulse to race. The intensity was oppressive, and she could feel the warmth gather beneath her clothes, releasing in waves at her neckline. Resisting throwing herself into his arms was a monumental test; resisting ripping off his clothes was another. All her previous worries and disappointments seemed like a lifetime away.
‘I saw you looking at the book on microlighting,’ he said cautiously. ‘I know this sounds crazy, but did it . . . did it play a part?’
‘Things like that scare me. I . . .’ she rubbed her arms and gazed at the floor. ‘I can’t explain.’
‘Me too.’
She spun to face him. ‘What?’
‘Yes. That book is Andrea’s. She’s into adrenaline rushes.’
She grinned, her face splitting in two. ‘For real?’
‘Yes. Why?’
She pulled free her hand. ‘Phillip was killed in a paragliding accident.’
Shock stilled his face. ‘I’m so sorry! That’s terrible!’
She nodded. ‘It was in France. He was trying to avoid someone less experienced who had gone off course and crashed into the rocks. It was instant.’ She bit her lip and fought back her tears. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t apologise. I’d be worried if you weren’t upset.’
She held her breath. She wrestled with the montage of Phillip’s life, but for once, she wanted it gone and yearned to move on from the pain that had so often overwhelmed her. ‘Let’s talk about something else. What are you doing here?’
Tyler strode into the kitchen and headed towards the fridge.
‘Teresa has had an accident. I’m going around there now. I had thought you might want to come.’ He glanced at her son. ‘Clearly not.’
‘What happened?’
‘She slipped on some grease outside the house. She suffered a concussion and has a broken arm, but she’s okay now. She’s back at home.’
Tyler was leaning against the unit, sipping his juice. ‘Who’s this?’
‘A friend of Steven’s. I’ve met her a couple of times.’
‘Don’t worry about me. If you want to go visit, just go.’
‘Absolutely not. I haven’t seen you for ages. I want to spend every minute with you.’
‘It’s only been a couple of weeks
.’
‘Only? To me, that’s a lifetime.’
Tyler lowered his head. ‘I don’t need a minder.’
‘I haven’t brought you all this way to leave you alone. No,’ she looked to Steven, ‘you understand don’t you?’
‘Of course I do.’
‘Then, it’s sorted.’
An awkward silence flooded the room, instigated by Tyler’s discomfort. After a few seconds, Steven left for the bathroom, leaving Tansy tied to the kitchen table, tugging and pulling, and desperate to trail after him. Then, she sank to the floor with her tail between her legs and squealed plaintively at the doorway.
‘I’d prefer it if you went out for a couple of hours,’ Tyler said.
Her heart sank.
‘We have all weekend to be together.’
‘I know, but-’
‘Please Mum. I can tell you like him. Are you seeing each other?’
‘We’re just friends.’
‘But you do like him, don’t you?’
‘There’s no need for you to worry.’
‘Who said I’m worried? He seems nice, and if he makes you happy, you should go for it.’
Perturbed, she raised her eyes.
‘It’s what Dad would have wanted. You can’t hide away forever.’
‘I thought you’d be upset.’
‘Dad’s gone. We both have to move on.’
‘You don’t think it’s too soon?’
‘It happens when it happens.’
Absorbing the features of his young face, she withheld her pride.
‘Being with Darren has taught me to live for the moment. What’s happened in the past is over, it’s history.’
‘Is that what he said?’
‘Yes. He wants me to forget Phillip.’
She leapt to her feet. ‘Forget him? You should never forget him.’
‘But he’s gone, Mum. He’s not going to walk through the door. He’s not going to take me to football matches. He’s dead.’
‘Even so.’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
Tyler rushed to the doorway and then glanced back. ‘Please Mum, go out for a bit. It’ll be fun to explore alone.’
Leanne dropped onto the chair and rested her head in her hand, and wondered what Darren had been teaching her son. It was a terrifying thought, never more so than when she realised she may not have much influence over him anymore. Was Darren brainwashing Tyler? Would he be telling untruths about her next? She looked up. Steven’s fine figure was heading towards her. Their eyes locked. She reached out for his hand, yearning his support and words of wisdom.
It was a sunny although somewhat chilly autumn day, and Leanne and Steven decided to walk Tansy back home and then continue their journey on foot to Teresa’s house. The loneliness and uncertainty she had so often felt as she vacated the house had been eradicated from her mind, entirely due to Tyler, and a curve slipped to her lips as she gazed back towards the kitchen window. She was part of something again and it was a wonderful feeling.
Maybe Tyler was having a rummage around, or simply imagining living in such magnificence. It was easy to envisage him as an older man wearing exquisite designer clothes and with wife and children, and commanding the gardener and cleaner. He would have a study in which to do his business. He would have a music room to explore his talents. It would be a happy place, as it should be.
Steven unhooked Tansy and she bolted, running along the path at the edge of the field with a sense of purpose. Then she stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, and looked at her master, her tongue lolling out of the side of her mouth and her legs blocky. Steven reached into his pocket, retrieved a ball attached to a piece of rope, and slung it into the distance, over Tansy’s head. Her feet pounded the hardened ground, her legs outstretched and her centre of gravity lowered. Within seconds, the dog returned with the ball and was ready for a repeat of the action.
It became routine, and whilst Leanne had been absorbed, she now found her thoughts wandering. She glanced at Steven, noticing the gentle, unassuming man that he was, and made automatic comparisons with Phillip. There had been a time when she never thought she could recover from his tragic accident, and imagined herself locked away in an enforced solitary confinement. It was amazing how time could heal, and whilst she still struggled to believe that she could ever be in love again, she could now at least imagine being happy in her own personal space.
Walking in step with Steven, sensing their growing bond, Leanne looked down his frame. His hand was a whisker away from hers. She searched for courage, yearning his touch. But the more she wanted to grab it, the more she felt an invisible barrier assert itself, like opposing forces on a magnet, and ultimately she withdrew. Nervously, she caught his eye. He smiled, a beautiful wide smile, and her fingers flickered. Then Tansy barked.
The dog was waiting for the ball to be thrown. Her feet pounded the track. Her tail wagged furiously. She sidestepped. She paused. She sidestepped again. It was a remarkable sight, her energy and commitment constant, her focus instinctual and concentrated.
Leanne’s moment for intimacy had gone, and a selfish ache developed. A dog had upstaged her. She wanted nothing more than to receive Steven’s sole attention, just as Tansy had. Her skin was prickling with her desires, and they were growing ever more urgent, ever more painful, yet Steven continued to be unaware. He made general chatter, rambling about his dog, their regular walks, and the villagers that shared their usual jaunts. Mesmerised, she listened to his deep, soft tones.
Steven’s house came into view. He locked Tansy inside, told her to be good and shut the door. The dog’s disapproving squeals and intermittent high-pitched barks lingered in the air, desperately attempting to impart her sadness and change their minds. Forcing aside images of Tansy’s doleful expression and puppy-like antics, which were visible through the glass, she followed Steven down the drive.
‘She’ll settle down,’ he said.
‘She’s rather demanding.’
‘You’ve noticed?’ he reached for her hand and gave it a little squeeze. ‘Are you jealous?’
Her colour rose to her cheeks. He was looking. He had a teasing look of affection in his eyes. Now was her time. Now she could have him alone.
Teresa’s street was visible. The journey did not take as long as Leanne had predicted, partially due to the shortcuts that were only accessible on foot, but also because of the company, which she relished wholeheartedly.
Steven rang the doorbell, and Leanne opened her woollen coat and released a layer of trapped heat, the refreshing air creating a wonderful cooling sensation, which mingled with the floral scent of her body spray. She felt alive with happiness and confident in her own skin, and not self-conscious or mournful as was becoming the norm.
Teresa opened the door. She was washed of colour and more anxious than normal, and scanned the drive and the street as she guided them inside.
‘I thought it was just Steven coming.’
‘It’s not a problem, is it?’ he asked, perplexed.
‘No.’ Her gaze did not move from the street until she shut the door.
‘Oh Teresa,’ Steven said, ‘what happened?’
A determined look held on her face. ‘I fell.’
‘It must have been nasty. How are you feeling?’
‘I’m okay. A bit shaken.’
‘I’m not surprised. You must have taken quite a bash.’
She weaved past them, stepping into the lounge and motioning them to sit down. The room had a splendid décor, luxurious ornaments, and sumptuous furniture, so obviously top of the range and forcing Leanne to wonder why she had not noticed such detail before. Everything cried out their lavish lifestyle. Even the poker for the stove was intricately carved and looked pristine.
Leanne perched onto the sofa almost unwilling to crease the leather as Teresa guided the conversation away from the accident and to community affairs. Her change of demeanour was obvious, and her actions became less j
erky; her eyes relaxed, and a sense of happiness prevailed. It was so obvious that as soon as Teresa averted her gaze, Leanne locked eyes with Steven. Moments later, Teresa left the room to make drinks.
‘Something’s wrong,’ Steven whispered.
Leanne nodded. ‘Why didn’t she want me here?’
‘I’ve no idea.’
‘I should go.’
‘No, don’t do that. You’re here now.’
Teresa returned and the tension remained. Throughout general conversations, Teresa locked eyes with Steven, excluding her, and she refused to talk about the accident or anything associated. Leanne tried to dismiss her awkwardness, but Teresa’s disapproval was so obvious that she felt herself stiffen. She assumed that she wanted to tell Steven something she didn’t want her to hear. Her thoughts compounded when a photograph of Teresa and Geoff caught Teresa’s eye, and she became enveloped in a desperate concern.
Leanne caught Steven’s eye. Whilst he didn’t react, she feared Teresa had noticed as she fled from the room. Steven also excused himself, causing her to wonder if they were having a private exchange. However, she soon realised that Teresa was in the kitchen and Steven in the bathroom. It allowed her moment for a private contemplation.
Waiting in the silence for their return, Leanne talked herself out of her impulsive notion that Geoff had inflicted the injuries. She did not know him at all and should not be making such radical assumptions. However, she still found herself pondering the possibility when Teresa returned moments later, followed by Steven.
Moments later, she seized the opportunity. ‘Where’s Geoff?
Teresa’s response was immediate. ‘He’s gone to a football match. It’s his regular Saturday activity.’
There was no evidence of nervousness or apprehension, but Leanne was not convinced. ‘Don’t you get sick of being a football widow?’
‘No. I enjoy the time alone.’
‘I thought he’d given up going to matches,’ Steven said.
‘I . . . I wanted him out of the way.’
Leanne gave Steven a disbelieving look.
Teresa stared at Leanne. ‘I hope you’re not thinking this was him,’ she said, pointing at her arm.