by Dawson, H A
Shaking his head, Tyler headed out of the lobby and into the room with the piano, leaving them alone.
‘I bet you shed a tear or two,’ Steven said.
She smiled. ‘Come into the kitchen. I’ve been wanting to see you.’
They sat opposite each other. Steven settled Tansy and then reached out for her hand. ‘I’m sorry if I upset you the other day.’
‘No . . . you didn’t. It’s just . . .’
‘A bit soon?’
‘I think so.’
He nodded. ‘I understand.’
He squeezed her hand, causing her skin to tingle and her pulse to race. The intensity was oppressive, and she could feel the warmth gather beneath her clothes, releasing in waves at her neckline. Resisting throwing herself into his arms was a monumental test; resisting ripping off his clothes was another. All her previous worries and disappointments seemed like a lifetime away.
‘I saw you looking at the book on microlighting,’ he said cautiously. ‘I know this sounds crazy, but did it . . . did it play a part?’
‘Things like that scare me. I . . .’ she rubbed her arms and gazed at the floor. ‘I can’t explain.’
‘Me too.’
She spun to face him. ‘What?’
‘Yes. That book is Andrea’s. She’s into adrenaline rushes.’
She grinned, her face splitting in two. ‘For real?’
‘Yes. Why?’
She pulled free her hand. ‘Phillip was killed in a paragliding accident.’
Shock stilled his face. ‘I’m so sorry! That’s terrible!’
She nodded. ‘It was in France. He was trying to avoid someone less experienced who had gone off course and crashed into the rocks. It was instant.’ She bit her lip and fought back her tears. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t apologise. I’d be worried if you weren’t upset.’
She held her breath. She wrestled with the montage of Phillip’s life, but for once, she wanted it gone and yearned to move on from the pain that had so often overwhelmed her. ‘Let’s talk about something else. What are you doing here?’
Tyler strode into the kitchen and headed towards the fridge.
‘Teresa has had an accident. I’m going around there now. I had thought you might want to come.’ He glanced at her son. ‘Clearly not.’
‘What happened?’
‘She slipped on some grease outside the house. She suffered a concussion and has a broken arm, but she’s okay now. She’s back at home.’
Tyler was leaning against the unit, sipping his juice. ‘Who’s this?’
‘A friend of Steven’s. I’ve met her a couple of times.’
‘Don’t worry about me. If you want to go visit, just go.’
‘Absolutely not. I haven’t seen you for ages. I want to spend every minute with you.’
‘It’s only been a couple of weeks.’
‘Only? To me, that’s a lifetime.’
Tyler lowered his head. ‘I don’t need a minder.’
‘I haven’t brought you all this way to leave you alone. No,’ she looked to Steven, ‘you understand don’t you?’
‘Of course I do.’
‘Then, it’s sorted.’
An awkward silence flooded the room, instigated by Tyler’s discomfort. After a few seconds, Steven left for the bathroom, leaving Tansy tied to the kitchen table, tugging and pulling, and desperate to trail after him. Then, she sank to the floor with her tail between her legs and squealed plaintively at the doorway.
‘I’d prefer it if you went out for a couple of hours,’ Tyler said.
Her heart sank.
‘We have all weekend to be together.’
‘I know, but-’
‘Please Mum. I can tell you like him. Are you seeing each other?’
‘We’re just friends.’
‘But you do like him, don’t you?’
‘There’s no need for you to worry.’
‘Who said I’m worried? He seems nice, and if he makes you happy, you should go for it.’
Perturbed, she raised her eyes.
‘It’s what Dad would have wanted. You can’t hide away forever.’
‘I thought you’d be upset.’
‘Dad’s gone. We both have to move on.’
‘You don’t think it’s too soon?’
‘It happens when it happens.’
Absorbing the features of his young face, she withheld her pride.
‘Being with Darren has taught me to live for the moment. What’s happened in the past is over, it’s history.’
‘Is that what he said?’
‘Yes. He wants me to forget Phillip.’
She leapt to her feet. ‘Forget him? You should never forget him.’
‘But he’s gone, Mum. He’s not going to walk through the door. He’s not going to take me to football matches. He’s dead.’
‘Even so.’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
Tyler rushed to the doorway and then glanced back. ‘Please Mum, go out for a bit. It’ll be fun to explore alone.’
Leanne dropped onto the chair and rested her head in her hand, and wondered what Darren had been teaching her son. It was a terrifying thought, never more so than when she realised she may not have much influence over him anymore. Was Darren brainwashing Tyler? Would he be telling untruths about her next? She looked up. Steven’s fine figure was heading towards her. Their eyes locked. She reached out for his hand, yearning his support and words of wisdom.
It was a sunny although somewhat chilly autumn day, and Leanne and Steven decided to walk Tansy back home and then continue their journey on foot to Teresa’s house. The loneliness and uncertainty she had so often felt as she vacated the house had been eradicated from her mind, entirely due to Tyler, and a curve slipped to her lips as she gazed back towards the kitchen window. She was part of something again and it was a wonderful feeling.
Maybe Tyler was having a rummage around, or simply imagining living in such magnificence. It was easy to envisage him as an older man wearing exquisite designer clothes and with wife and children, and commanding the gardener and cleaner. He would have a study in which to do his business. He would have a music room to explore his talents. It would be a happy place, as it should be.
Steven unhooked Tansy and she bolted, running along the path at the edge of the field with a sense of purpose. Then she stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, and looked at her master, her tongue lolling out of the side of her mouth and her legs blocky. Steven reached into his pocket, retrieved a ball attached to a piece of rope, and slung it into the distance, over Tansy’s head. Her feet pounded the hardened ground, her legs outstretched and her centre of gravity lowered. Within seconds, the dog returned with the ball and was ready for a repeat of the action.
It became routine, and whilst Leanne had been absorbed, she now found her thoughts wandering. She glanced at Steven, noticing the gentle, unassuming man that he was, and made automatic comparisons with Phillip. There had been a time when she never thought she could recover from his tragic accident, and imagined herself locked away in an enforced solitary confinement. It was amazing how time could heal, and whilst she still struggled to believe that she could ever be in love again, she could now at least imagine being happy in her own personal space.
Walking in step with Steven, sensing their growing bond, Leanne looked down his frame. His hand was a whisker away from hers. She searched for courage, yearning his touch. But the more she wanted to grab it, the more she felt an invisible barrier assert itself, like opposing forces on a magnet, and ultimately she withdrew. Nervously, she caught his eye. He smiled, a beautiful wide smile, and her fingers flickered. Then Tansy barked.
The dog was waiting for the ball to be thrown. Her feet pounded the track. Her tail wagged furiously. She sidestepped. She paused. She sidestepped again. It was a remarkable sight, her energy and commitment constant, her focus instinctual and concentrated.
Leanne’s moment for intima
cy had gone, and a selfish ache developed. A dog had upstaged her. She wanted nothing more than to receive Steven’s sole attention, just as Tansy had. Her skin was prickling with her desires, and they were growing ever more urgent, ever more painful, yet Steven continued to be unaware. He made general chatter, rambling about his dog, their regular walks, and the villagers that shared their usual jaunts. Mesmerised, she listened to his deep, soft tones.
Steven’s house came into view. He locked Tansy inside, told her to be good and shut the door. The dog’s disapproving squeals and intermittent high-pitched barks lingered in the air, desperately attempting to impart her sadness and change their minds. Forcing aside images of Tansy’s doleful expression and puppy-like antics, which were visible through the glass, she followed Steven down the drive.
‘She’ll settle down,’ he said.
‘She’s rather demanding.’
‘You’ve noticed?’ he reached for her hand and gave it a little squeeze. ‘Are you jealous?’
Her colour rose to her cheeks. He was looking. He had a teasing look of affection in his eyes. Now was her time. Now she could have him alone.
Teresa’s street was visible. The journey did not take as long as Leanne had predicted, partially due to the shortcuts that were only accessible on foot, but also because of the company, which she relished wholeheartedly.
Steven rang the doorbell, and Leanne opened her woollen coat and released a layer of trapped heat, the refreshing air creating a wonderful cooling sensation, which mingled with the floral scent of her body spray. She felt alive with happiness and confident in her own skin, and not self-conscious or mournful as was becoming the norm.
Teresa opened the door. She was washed of colour and more anxious than normal, and scanned the drive and the street as she guided them inside.
‘I thought it was just Steven coming.’
‘It’s not a problem, is it?’ he asked, perplexed.
‘No.’ Her gaze did not move from the street until she shut the door.
‘Oh Teresa,’ Steven said, ‘what happened?’
A determined look held on her face. ‘I fell.’
‘It must have been nasty. How are you feeling?’
‘I’m okay. A bit shaken.’
‘I’m not surprised. You must have taken quite a bash.’
She weaved past them, stepping into the lounge and motioning them to sit down. The room had a splendid décor, luxurious ornaments, and sumptuous furniture, so obviously top of the range and forcing Leanne to wonder why she had not noticed such detail before. Everything cried out their lavish lifestyle. Even the poker for the stove was intricately carved and looked pristine.
Leanne perched onto the sofa almost unwilling to crease the leather as Teresa guided the conversation away from the accident and to community affairs. Her change of demeanour was obvious, and her actions became less jerky; her eyes relaxed, and a sense of happiness prevailed. It was so obvious that as soon as Teresa averted her gaze, Leanne locked eyes with Steven. Moments later, Teresa left the room to make drinks.
‘Something’s wrong,’ Steven whispered.
Leanne nodded. ‘Why didn’t she want me here?’
‘I’ve no idea.’
‘I should go.’
‘No, don’t do that. You’re here now.’
Teresa returned and the tension remained. Throughout general conversations, Teresa locked eyes with Steven, excluding her, and she refused to talk about the accident or anything associated. Leanne tried to dismiss her awkwardness, but Teresa’s disapproval was so obvious that she felt herself stiffen. She assumed that she wanted to tell Steven something she didn’t want her to hear. Her thoughts compounded when a photograph of Teresa and Geoff caught Teresa’s eye, and she became enveloped in a desperate concern.
Leanne caught Steven’s eye. Whilst he didn’t react, she feared Teresa had noticed as she fled from the room. Steven also excused himself, causing her to wonder if they were having a private exchange. However, she soon realised that Teresa was in the kitchen and Steven in the bathroom. It allowed her moment for a private contemplation.
Waiting in the silence for their return, Leanne talked herself out of her impulsive notion that Geoff had inflicted the injuries. She did not know him at all and should not be making such radical assumptions. However, she still found herself pondering the possibility when Teresa returned moments later, followed by Steven.
Moments later, she seized the opportunity. ‘Where’s Geoff?
Teresa’s response was immediate. ‘He’s gone to a football match. It’s his regular Saturday activity.’
There was no evidence of nervousness or apprehension, but Leanne was not convinced. ‘Don’t you get sick of being a football widow?’
‘No. I enjoy the time alone.’
‘I thought he’d given up going to matches,’ Steven said.
‘I . . . I wanted him out of the way.’
Leanne gave Steven a disbelieving look.
Teresa stared at Leanne. ‘I hope you’re not thinking this was him,’ she said, pointing at her arm.
‘Of course not.’
‘Good, because he wouldn’t do that.’
‘So what happened?’
‘I wasn’t watching what I was doing.’
‘You said you slipped on grease. Where did it come from?’
She pressed a fist against her cheek. ‘It was in an old canister. I can’t remember anything more.’ She bolted to her feet. ‘Look I was clumsy and I slipped. End of story.’
‘Teresa, what’s wrong?’ Steven said.
‘Nothing’s wrong.’ She turned away.
He moved towards her and placed his hand upon her back. ‘Who’s done this to you?’
‘Let it go.’
Steven glanced at Leanne and then turned back to Teresa. ‘I think we should go.’
‘Probably.’
‘You know where I am if you want a chat,’ he added.
‘Can you ring before you come next time?’
Bewilderment coated his face. ‘Okay.’
Teresa took a swift glance out of an adjacent window, straining to see beyond the hedge and bushes, and then ushered them out through the door. There was no one around, nothing to create such anxiety.
‘Please don’t hang around,’ she said.
Leanne and Steven looked to each other, baffled.
The door shut.
‘I’m sorry about that,’ Steven said, walking away.
‘I’m sorry too. It was horrible.’
‘I don’t think you were the problem.’
‘So what was it?’
He did not respond.
‘I was wondering,’ she said. ‘Could Geoff have hurt her?’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Why not? It’s the only thing that makes sense.’
‘I just don’t think he would do that. He might be many things, but I don’t think he’s violent. Look, I’ll give her a ring later and let you know.’
She nodded.
A warm glow spread across his face. He pulled her to his side and kissed her on the cheek. ‘In the meantime, I’d like to get to know you a bit better . . .’
Her pulse quickened. She held her breath.
‘. . . but I suppose I should take you back to Tyler.’
‘Another hour won’t harm.’
‘You sure?’
‘I’m sure.’
Chapter 24
The intimate moment Leanne shared with Steven was a memory, and she spent the remainder of a wonderful weekend with her son. Now, as she was preparing for their parting, her tension caused her abdomen to swell and her mouth to release air, such was the agony of Tyler’s decision to return to Darren’s home. With words condemning his decision sticking in her dry throat, they gathered more of his belongings from their original home in a strained silence.
He was downloading music from his computer; his body was still, his eyes locked on the screen, and his fingers hovered above the keys. He was her b
eautiful son, handsome, wise and caring, and capable of making an adult decision. So why was it she believed Darren was coercing him, and that Darren’s motives were deeper rooted? Unable to disregard her instincts, she slipped downstairs, shut the door into the lounge, and reached for the telephone and dialled Darren’s number.
‘Hello, it’s Leanne.’
‘Yes.’
‘About Tyler . . . are you sure it’s not going to cause you any trouble having him stay with you?’
‘I thought we’d been through this.’
‘Yes, I know, but I’m not sure it’s the right decision.’
‘Has he said that?’
‘No . . . not exactly.’
‘Then what’s your problem?’
‘He needs discipline and structure. He’s going into an important phase at school. I don’t want you side-tracking him.’
‘You don’t trust me.’
She hesitated. ‘I know Tyler better than anyone. I know what makes him tick. He’s had a rough year and needs stability above all else.’
‘What do you think I’m going to do? Take him to all night parties and strip clubs.’
There was silence.
‘Give me some credit. I’m a responsible husband and father now.’
The hint of sarcasm in his voice caused her to falter. Over the last couple of days, she had been rehearsing what to say and what to ask, but all of a sudden, her words evaded her. She could not prove his behaviour was irresponsible, and could not find any direct fault in his approach to fatherhood. Darren and Tyler had developed a swift bond, and her son had no complaints.
‘Promise me,’ she said, ‘that if he’s unhappy or struggling in any way, you’ll let me know.’
‘I will.’
‘And you won’t make him do anything I would disapprove of.’
Darren puffed out. ‘Now come on Leanne. How am I supposed to know what you disapprove of? From what I remember, there was little.’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘No, I don’t. We’re both adults now. You do things your way, I do things mine, and now it’s my turn. Tyler’s a big boy. You have to let go.’
‘Just don’t harass him, especially concerning his homework, he doesn’t respond well. But you will have to make him clean his room. If you don’t, it’ll have things growing in it in a week.’