by Ruby Dixon
Elly looks over at me and gives me a timid smile. “Still pretty.”
Aww. Count on Elly to make two words feel like a gift. I beam at her. “And that is why you’re now officially my favorite. These other chuckleheads can take a hike.” I mock-scowl at Kate and Gail.
“I thought that’s what we were doing.” Kate pulls her tunic away from her chest and wrinkles her nose. “Okay, he didn’t pee on me before, but he did now. I wonder if Harrec has a change of clothing. Harrec! Babe!” She jogs ahead, clutching at the kitten inside her tunic.
There’s a pause as we walk, and then Gail looks over at me. “All joking aside now, do we need to have a talk?”
“A talk? What about?” I give her a curious glance.
“Maybe not ‘a’ talk as much as ‘the’ talk. I think of you girls like my kids. I’m just trying to look out for you, and it’s clear that after last night, you and Warrek got a little cozy back at the fruit cave.”
I’m so mortified. “All we did was kiss, Gail! Jeez!”
“That’s fine. I don’t care if you do whatever you want. I just want to know if you’re prepared for things. Are you a virgin?”
This is definitely the most embarrassing conversation I’ve had since being kidnapped by aliens. Possibly the most embarrassing conversation ever. “Yes,” I tell her, words strangled. “Is it that obvious?”
“Maybe not to some. But I know what to look for. I was a mom, remember?” She smiles. “I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, baby girl. It’s just that we’re on an alien planet and I’m wondering if we need to have a quick discussion about anatomy.”
Oh, shoot me now. “I know how sex works, Gail. I don’t think you can grow up with a TV or the internet and not know how it works.”
“That’s all well and good, but do you know sa-khui anatomy?”
Her emphasis reminds me of the surprising ridges I’d felt along Warrek’s tongue last night, and I can feel my cheeks growing hot. “Is it very different?”
“Girl, have you never paid attention at the heated spring? They have an extra…” She puts her finger up and wiggles it. “You know.” Her voice drops a little. “The spur.”
I look at her, startled. How did I not know this? Boy, I really must not have been paying attention when people were bathing. “Spur?”
“It’s a hard protrusion above the junk. Rubs you in all the right places, if you know what I mean.” She nods at Elly, who has an equally mortified look on her face. “Elly here knows what I mean.”
“Elly here’s as embarrassed as me right now,” I exclaim.
Poor Elly just chuckles, but she doesn’t disagree.
“Okay, well, I’m just warning you so you don’t scream your head off when you go exploring. Some of us like to sleep.” She winks at me. “I won’t give you the mom speech about getting pregnant, considering that he can’t make you pregnant unless there’s resonance.”
Resonance—like what Harrec and Kate just went through. I picture my tall, robust friend and try to imagine her pregnant like Harlow. It feels like everything’s happening so fast. “No resonance,” I say softly, and I don’t know if I’m happy or sad about that. I guess happy, but at the same time, I’d like to be the light of someone’s life.
I’d really, really like to be the light of Warrek’s life. Maybe that makes me a dork, but I don’t care.
“All right then,” Gail says, satisfied. “Just don’t let your mouth make promises that your heart can’t cash.”
“I thought you were done ‘mom-ing’ me.”
She gives me a sharp look. “Warrek is a good guy. He’s sweet, kind, and devoted. All of these men are. Do you ever see anyone cheating on their woman? Not going to work? Standing around and drinking all day long and then demanding his woman make him a sandwich? These are good men. I just don’t want you to play him, that’s all.”
“I wouldn’t play him. I don’t think I’d even know how,” I protest.
“I know,” Gail says. She pats my arm. “But I think you jump in without thinking from time to time, and that’s why I wanted to say something. It’s clear he likes you and you like him. But I think that these guys have a hard time with flirtation. To them, they go straight from holding hands and right to making a home together. There’s no in-between with them. And it’s a small tribe. You’re gonna have to see his ass every day after this. Make sure that there’s no bad blood between you.”
Bad blood? “I wouldn’t do that to him. I like him.”
She sighs. “I know, honey. And I don’t think you’re the type. I just worry over my girls. Look at Brooke and Taushen. Something happened while we were kidnapped. They stuck those two in the same cell, did you know that? Everyone else got separated, but those two, they slapped together. Something must have happened, because ever since, they’ve been acting up at each other.” Gail looks troubled. “I hope no one hurt her.”
“Brooke?” I echo, surprised. Out of all of us “new” humans, Brooke has always seemed the most self-assured, the most comfortable in her own skin. The thought of her in distress is a painful one. I knew she was a bit snippy post-rescue, but I thought she was just tired and anxious—who wouldn’t be after what they went through? “I hope it’s just leftover stress from the trauma of being kidnapped.”
“Me too,” Gail says.
“Miss Gail! Miss Gail! Look what I found!” Rukhar races up to us and holds out a shiny bit of something. “What is it?”
She pauses and peers, exclaiming over it and making a big deal. “Well, that has to be the prettiest stone I’ve ever seen, Rukhar. That’s amazing.”
“Can I keep it?” He looks so excited.
“Of course you can.” She smiles at him.
“I’m going to show it to Warrek,” he says, racing off.
Gail watches him go with a soft expression, and I wonder how she’s doing. She’s so busy trying to take care of all of us that no one’s stopped to see about her. “And you?” I ask. “How are you holding up?”
She shrugs. “I handle everything one day at a time. Today’s a good day. Tomorrow, we’ll see.” She gives me a serene look. “Don’t you worry about me. I’m a survivor. If you want to worry about anyone, worry about that little boy. He’s sweet, but my goodness, is he serious. I worry about that.”
I watch as Rukhar pauses, then races up to Kate’s side and shows her his new stone.
Gail chuckles. “I love that age. Everything’s so exciting and the world’s all new every time you turn around. It’s so fun.” Her laugh turns into a sigh. “It makes me miss my son. Sometimes I wish that Vaza and I could resonate. That I could be a parent again. I’m old, though. Isn’t meant to be.”
Elly’s silent, and I cast around for something to say. Something that will help ease the old sadness in Gail’s eyes. I don’t know anything about children, or death, or what to say that will make it better. So I focus on something else. “Vaza? You want to have kids with him? Really?”
“Don’t sound so shocked.”
“I’m not. Sorry if it came out that way. I just thought you two were together for fun, you know? I didn’t realize it was that serious.”
“These men don’t do anything but, remember?”
Elly gives a happy little sigh and nods agreement.
I think of Warrek and how he declared he was going to take me to his furs. Yeah, she’s probably not wrong about that. “It is a pretty different culture.”
“But a good one. Vaza’s a good man. He treats me better than anyone’s ever treated me before, and I was married for a long, long time.” Her smile grows distant, fond. “Back when I was younger, I thought it was normal to have a marriage where you argued a lot, where you constantly felt stressed and worried, and as long as he didn’t cheat on you or beat you, it was all good. But Vaza’s different. My husband was always the cleverest man in the room, and I grew to hate that after a while, you know? Especially when it’s turned against you. It’s nice to be with a guy that’s a little more easyg
oing, who wants to do nothing more than spoil me as best he can.”
Huh. I feel like I’ve learned more about Gail in the last three minutes than I have in the last three weeks. I think about what she’s said and how these people seem to take to a serious relationship right away. I think about Warrek…and I think about resonance and how it might mess up what could be a really good thing between us. “What would happen if you resonated to someone else, though? What would happen between you and Vaza?”
“Ain’t gonna happen, but it doesn’t mean I’d boot Vaza.” She shrugs her furs tighter around her shoulders. “When you love someone, you love them regardless of what a bug inside your body says. Sometimes I don’t think they grasp that here, because it’s easy to let the cootie decide. When you know, though, you know. Resonance would happen, but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t make something else work.” She casts me a sly look. “Not saying I wouldn’t be up for a little three-way.”
“Oh my god! Gail!” I’m shocked. She seems so motherly.
Elly just chuckles.
“Pfft. Don’t look at me like that, Summer.” Gail wiggles her eyebrows. “Here’s how I look at things. Losing my son and then being a slave made me realize that we’ve only got one life. I’m gonna live it to the fullest and enjoy myself and not gonna give a shit what others think. If that means I’ve got two men in my bed, if I’m happy and they’re happy, who gives a rat’s ass what anyone else thinks?”
Wise words.
12
WARREK
I am impatient for the day to be over.
Not because I weary of traveling. Not because the sled is heavy in my hands and grows heavier with every valley crossed. All of these things are true, but I have endured such things in the past and know that it is something easily borne. Not because I am ready to return to our chief and deliver the worrisome news to him—I am not looking forward to that part.
I am impatient for the day to end because I want to take to the furs with Suh-mer again.
The hunger to touch her is like a craving inside me, and it grows stronger with every day that passes. I find myself walking faster despite my heavy burden, just so I can hear the light, cheery tones of her laughter. I watch her figure as she walks, noting the sway of her hips with fascination. There is no tail to distract from the curve of her bottom or the way her body moves. Her mane flutters in the breeze, and I remember what it felt like against my skin, and my cock grows uncomfortably hard at the memory.
Mostly I think about last night and the soft noises she made when I kissed her. Even with my tongue slicking into her mouth, my lovely Suh-mer could not keep quiet. The hungry, breathless moans have haunted me all day. It makes it impossible to think of anything other than what will happen tonight. Will she welcome me back to her furs so I can touch the small buds cresting her teats? Will she let me kiss her more? Or will she be too shy around the others?
I do not want that to stop us from enjoying each other, I decide. If I must, I will pull her away from the others, if only to selfishly fulfill the need I have for her.
I crave the fragile, beautiful human. It is startling to me, but it also feels very right. I have been waiting for her, it seems. Now that she is here, and that she has shown interest in me, I do not want to wait any longer. Not for resonance, not for our journey to end, none of it. I want Suh-mer, and I do not care who knows of it.
Thinking of her and how I will touch her this upcoming night brings fierce pleasure, and I spend hours deciding how I shall touch her. Under her tunic, or shall I strip it off of her? Will I take the time to explore her with my hands, or shall I do so with my mouth? Can I use my tail to please her? What spots on her body will she like for me to touch other than just her teats? I wish to know everything.
I see now why my father was so broken over my mother’s early death.
My father.
I have not thought of Eklan in at least a day or two. It is strange to realize that. I have grieved him, and grieved him deeply, since the day that he passed. I thought I would spend every day of the rest of my life aching for family, for all that I have lost. But with Suh-mer’s bright, inquisitive presence, I no longer feel as alone as I did. I am sad for the loss of my father, but I no longer feel hollow that he is gone.
I wonder what he would have thought of Suh-mer, and I try to imagine what he would tell me if he met her. The thought is a…sobering one. Never take a pleasure-mate, I remember my father telling me once. If you can spare yourself the pain of loss, do so. A pleasure-mate is a temporary thing—any female will go on to true-mate another hunter, and then you will be left alone. And that, my son, is the worst thing imaginable.
My father would not approve, I realize with dismay. He would wish for me to avoid entangling myself with the lovely human, only so I would not be hurt when her khui chose another for her. He struggled far too long with the loss of my mother to ever see a mating as anything but the greatest pleasure—and the greatest of pain.
It is a pain he wanted me to avoid.
I should heed the wisdom of this but…I do not want to.
More than anything, I want to claim Suh-mer. I want her more than I wanted my first spear or a cave to call my own. I want her more than I want the next sunrise.
Even if it means I will live a miserable existence when she moves on from my furs, I will take that chance. Walking away without possessing her now is simply not an option. Not any longer.
We travel slower than expected that day, and by the end of the evening, there is no hunter cave in sight. It will be another night without a fire, though no one grumbles about it. A small blind canyon is chosen for our camp site that evening so we can sleep protected from the worst of the wind. Like the night before, everyone eats a quiet dinner of trail rations, splits a large piece of fruit, and then it is time to sleep. Rukhar curls up with Kate’s little snow-cat, and the white-maned human does not seem to mind. She pulls a blanket around her shoulders, drags Harrec underneath it, and says no more.
I watch as Bek tucks his mate tenderly against him, a mountain of furs over her slender form. Vaza has buried Shail likewise, and only Suh-mer seems to be sleeping alone. She hesitates, then looks over at me, a question in her eyes.
But I have first watch this night. I move to her side, pull a thick fur wrap around her shoulders, and lean in to whisper. “I am on guard first this evening. Join me?”
She nods and gets to her feet, toting her light-spear with her as she follows me to the entrance of the canyon. We set up a short distance away from the others, and then I gesture she should sit on a nearby rock. She does, and I sit next to her, and we share blankets, watching the stars.
All is quiet between us, and even Suh-mer’s normally endless chatter is gone. I want to touch her. My fingers—and my cock—ache with the need of it, but I dare not. Now, more than ever, the need for a watch is essential, and I will not put my need above the safety of others.
Despite my hunger for her, the evening passes pleasantly, and I am almost surprised when Harrec approaches and puts a hand on my shoulder. “My turn to watch,” he says, yawning. “Go and sleep, you two.”
Suh-mer gets to her feet, hugging the blanket around her shoulders, and looks expectantly up at me. I think for a moment and then put an arm around her and turn to Harrec. “We are going to take a few private moments.”
He snorts and gestures a short distance away. “There’s a smaller blind canyon in that direction. I’ll keep an eye for you there, too. Just try to be quieter tonight than last night.”
“You suck,” Suh-mer tells him, but she slips her hand in mine. She wants to go, too.
We head to the spot Harrec told us about, and I set down the fur draped over my shoulders so she can have someplace to sit other than the snow.
Suh-mer shivers a little and watches me.
I worry this night is too chilly for her or she is too tired. “Do you wish to go back?” I ask.
“Not yet,” she says softly, and moves forward and puts he
r hand on the center of my chest, over the hard plating that covers my heart. “I want to be with you.”
I have been waiting all day to hear such sweet words. I drop to my knees and pull her down with me, until we are together on the fur and her legs are draped over mine. She is practically in my lap, her teats pressing against my chest.
Nothing has ever felt so very right.
Her arms go around my neck, and she wiggles a little. “Should I move? Am I uncomfortable?”
“You are perfect,” I tell her, and my hands go to her waist. She is so small compared to the females of my tribe; the tunic she wears has been taken in at the sides, the seams thicker where the leather has been re-cut and reworked. I worry that I am too big to touch her without hurting her. Yet the others have taken human mates happily, some smaller than Suh-mer. Perhaps that is just my mind working against me. “May I touch you?”
She blows out a nervous breath, and it turns into a small laugh. “I thought that’s what we were out here for.”
“It is.” I feel an urgent need to get this right, though, to make sure she wishes to return to my furs time and time again. Kissing her once was not enough. Twice only whetted my appetite for more. I want to touch her over and over again, explore every bit of her skin and see how I can make her gasp.
I must know more about her and her body. I touch her cheek, then smooth my hand down her shoulder, under the furs. “Tell me about humans.”
“Uh, about humans?” Her brows furrow, and she tilts her head. “Well, we’re about five feet tall, we have five fingers, and we’re really bad at recycling. We like terrible movies and terrible fast food and equally terrible celebrities.”
She speaks of nonsense things, and I can tell from the high pitch of her voice that she is nervous. My desire to make sure that I please her is making her uncertain. I must be clearer about what I mean, then. I put my hand on her thigh and rub, caressing up to her hip. “No, I wish to know what pleasures you.”