“Sounds like there might be a woman or two in Boise who share some of those characteristics,” Savannah said.
Yes, but he wanted only one woman.
No, he didn’t.
Caleb was getting in too deep. The fact that Becca kept coming up told him that. He’d lowered his guard too much and let her into his heart. Bad move. He couldn’t trust romantic relationships. Being involved in a serious relationship was too difficult. Too much work and responsibility. He’d had enough of that already. “I hope so.”
Except being with Becca hadn’t been work, his heart countered. She made him happy.
He wanted his heart to shut up.
He’d tried getting married. That relationship had been a disaster. Becca wasn’t trying to scam him. As special as she was, as much as she hadn’t been a burden, he didn’t want to fall in love with her. He couldn’t do that to himself. Or her.
Caleb had gotten too close to her, too fast. He needed to pull back, stop seeing her, focus on Fair Face.
The expectations of the marketing and PR departments were riding on Caleb’s every word, weighing him down and making him sweat. He always did what was expected of him. This was no different.
Stick with the script.
“I’d hate to think I’d never be able to use Fair Face’s new line of organic baby products on my own children.”
Savannah sighed along with the audience full of smiling women. “Baby products.”
He’d elicited the right response from her and the audience. Good, except his victory felt empty.
“My grandmother’s ready to be a great-grandmother. She created the products as a not-so-subtle hint to me. All I’m missing is...”
“A wife,” Savannah said with glee.
“Perhaps we can help you find her,” Thad said.
Savannah nodded enthusiastically. “We’re going to hold a contest on our website to find Boise’s Bachelor of the Year’s perfect woman.”
“She could be sitting in our studio audience. Or maybe she’s watching at home,” Thad said. “Go to our website and find out if you have the qualities to be Caleb’s perfect woman. The prize is a dream date with Boise’s Bachelor of the Year. Who knows? The date could turn into something more!”
“Thanks.” The word felt as if Caleb was eating tar. “I could use all the help I can get finding her!”
One thought ran through Caleb’s head. Too bad he couldn’t have been voted the second most eligible bachelor in Boise this year.
At least this would be over soon. He would go on the stupid date, then get on with his life. Alone, the way he liked it.
Win-win, right?
* * *
Becca stared at the television set in the guest cottage. She held on to two dogs, Dozer and Hunter, one on each side of her. Each breath took concerted effort. Her throat burned. Tears filled her eyes.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Do not cry.
She blinked back the tears.
She’d set the DVR to record the interview. She never wanted to watch it again. Not ever.
Her heart ached, a painful, squeezing kind of hurt. Disappointment. Betrayal.
Caleb had made her think this bachelor-of-the-year thing was no big deal. That it was business.
PR opportunity or not, his words on this morning’s interview stung. More than she ever thought possible.
So much for protecting her heart.
Becca hadn’t. It had splintered into a million razor sharp shards. And now...
Women all over Boise, likely northern Idaho and eastern Oregon, were going to be vying to be Caleb’s perfect woman and go on a dream date with him in hopes of being his wife.
Thank goodness she hadn’t told him she loved him.
She wanted to throw up.
It was clear she wasn’t his perfect woman.
Tears continued to sting her eyes.
Judging by the list of qualities, he was looking for a woman with a similar background and upbringing. She might be able to write a business report, but an AA degree didn’t count as educated. Preferring hot dogs to fancy food meant she couldn’t call herself a foodie. She’d never travelled outside the Pacific Northwest.
Hurt sliced through her stomach. All her insecurities rushed to the surface.
The dogs squirmed out of her arms. She let them go.
Why had Gertie played matchmaker when Becca was so wrong for Caleb?
Becca wrapped her arms around her stomach.
Gertie should never have chosen some fish out of water to put in the rich, corporate aquarium for her grandson. Dating might not influence Fair Face’s bottom line, but there was intrinsic value to the woman Caleb...married.
Becca rocked back and forth.
Caleb had shown his practical side during the interview. He didn’t need someone who preferred the company of dogs, not dressing up and eating hot dogs. He needed a corporate wife. Someone who could entertain, dress the part and play hostess. A trophy wife.
The vise tightened around Becca’s heart, pressing and squeezing out the blood. She sniffled.
How had she completely misread the man? Maybe she’d ignored signs because she enjoyed being with him. The same way she’d ignored the signs with Whit.
It hadn’t felt the same, but she could have been fooling herself. She had to have been fooling herself.
Caleb hadn’t told her about the dream date contest, only being named Bachelor of the Year and doing an interview. He’d lied by omission, making her wonder if he’d lied about other things. Lied or...been practical?
She’d told him she wouldn’t pretend to be someone she wasn’t after what happened with Whit. If she wasn’t what Caleb wanted, was this his way of breaking up with her?
Becca couldn’t answer that question herself, but she intended to find out the answer.
* * *
If not for the time of day, champagne would have been flowing at Fair Face. Interest in the new baby line had skyrocketed following Caleb’s interview. Whatever issues he’d had about saying he wanted to settle down had disappeared.
Genius. Brilliant. Smart move.
The words described how wonderfully they’d pulled off the PR coup on Good Day Boise. There was only one loose end to tie up, and he could relax.
Becca.
His assistant buzzed him. “Ms. Taylor is here to see you.”
Okay, that was weird. He hadn’t expected her to come to him. But he might as well get this over quickly so he could attend the celebration in the company’s cafeteria in honor of his award and interview. “Send her in.”
Becca entered his office. She was dressed casually in a pair of plain khakis, a blue blouse and canvas tennis shoes. She looked neat, fit and very pretty. But she wasn’t smiling
He didn’t blame her.
As she walked in, the others in his office walked out.
“See you in the cafeteria,” Ed said.
Caleb nodded. “Be down shortly.”
The door closed. He walked around to the front of his desk and leaned against it. “You saw the interview.”
“I did.” She raised her chin. “I’m sure the show’s servers are going to overload with all the women wanting to win a dream date with you.”
Her sarcastic tone matched the expression on her face. “It’s a contest. A promotion.”
She pursed her lips. “Then why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“I didn’t think it mattered. It’s just business.”
“Business?” Disbelief filled her voice. “You listed all the qualities you’re looking for in the perfect woman. None of which I have.”
“The PR department provided the list. It was a publicity stunt. Nothing more.”
“It hurt hearing you say all those
things you were looking for and imagining the perfect corporate trophy wife who fits the list. A woman who wasn’t me.”
“I told you it wasn’t my list,” he said. “But it’s not like we’re seriously dating.”
“Ouch.” She stared at him as if he’d grown a third eye and horns. “At least I have bruises on both cheeks now.”
“I never wanted to hurt you.” But Caleb had, and he couldn’t take it back.
Her bottom lip quivered.
It was all he could do not to take her in his arms so she would feel better. But he couldn’t.
This was the best. For Becca and for him.
“So what happens next?” she asked. “And I don’t mean your dream date. I’m talking about you and me.”
You and me. Not us. That had to be a good sign. “I’m not in a place to have a serious relationship.”
“I figured that much.”
“You have a lot going on with the dog products and developing a handling career.”
Her gaze narrowed. “Don’t put any of this on me.”
Guilt coated his throat. Okay, bad move. “It’s me.”
“Yes, it is.” She wet her lips. “I want to know why you went out with me.”
“Being with you was fun.”
“Fun,” she repeated twice. “I thought things were more serious than that.”
“No. I can’t. I’m sorry. I’ve been distracted. I need to get back to work.”
“So this is about Fair Face?”
“After my father died, my grandparents’ hopes and dreams for him were transferred onto me. I’ve spent my life trying to do everything my father didn’t do. For my family and for Fair Face. I can’t take anything else on.”
“You mean me.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t want to be your responsibility. I’m doing fine on my own.”
Becca was. And she was cutting through his reasons like a skilled surgeon. He would try again.
“I’m not ready to make an emotional commitment.” The last time he did that it blew up in his face. Desire had a way of turning him inside out. He couldn’t screw up again. “I can’t risk the indulgence of a relationship right now.”
Flames ignited in Becca’s eyes. Her jaw tensed. “Indulgence of a relationship?”
“Perhaps that’s the wrong word.” He was bungling this up. He wasn’t usually so clumsy and the hurt in Becca’s eyes was killing him. He couldn’t think straight. Not when she was around him. Even more proof he needed her out of his life. “I need to focus my attention on Fair Face. Nothing else. Not even the dog care products.”
His words slammed into him, as if he’d punched himself in the gut. But he’d had no other choice than to say them. He couldn’t keep seeing her.
Becca swallowed, but said nothing. Hurt dulled her eyes.
He reached for her, then drew his arm back. If he touched her, he might not want to let go. “Look, I could have gone about this differently. But I didn’t. We had some good times together. Let’s not have this blow up into something awful.”
“That’s the first thing you’ve said that I agree with.” She met his gaze. “Thanks for opening my eyes to the truth.”
“The truth?”
“You don’t deserve me.”
“Becca—”
“You act responsible and practical, but you’re not.” Her voice rose. “I’m guessing you went out with me to appease Gertie and keep her happy. You could make sure I wasn’t trying to scam your grandmother and you could have a little fun at the same time.”
“No.” Her words hit him like a dagger to the heart. “I went out with you because I wanted to be with you. No other reason.”
“But once things turned into something real, where you would have to take risk, you decided it was over between us. You could have spoken up, but that would have been too scary, so you followed someone else’s script, the way you’ve done your entire life.”
“That’s not true.” But his words didn’t have a strong conviction behind them. He would try again. “Not true at all.”
“It is true, because I was once there myself. But I’m over the wariness of my past. In part, thanks to you. But you’re not because of your mother, your father and Cassandra. I’m not sure you ever will be, either.” Squaring her shoulders, Becca met his gaze. “I never thought I’d say this, but I feel sorry for you, Caleb Fairchild.”
She turned and walked to the door.
He stood, his heart pounding in his chest. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Becca didn’t glance back. She kept walking out of his office and out of his life.
Which was exactly what he’d wanted to happen.
So why did it hurt so badly?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
BECCA FOUGHT THE urge to run out of Caleb’s office. She made a conscious effort not to slam the door to his office behind her. She wasn’t going to make a scene.
Or cry.
Her anger spiraled.
She knew her worth. She wasn’t going to forget that or become someone else to make Caleb love her.
Screw him.
Becca should have seen through his BS, through the sweet words and tender smiles and hot kisses. Caleb couldn’t accept her for who she was. He wanted someone more suited to his world. He wasn’t willing to take a risk on her.
On them.
She marched to the elevator.
Caleb could blame his job at Fair Face or his family or a hundred other things, but bottom line...he wasn’t capable of loving her as she was.
That was what Becca deserved.
What she wanted.
The elevator dinged. The doors opened.
Becca stepped inside. She poked the button for the lobby, nearly breaking one of her already short fingernails.
How could she have been so stupid again?
She’d been trying to fit in and prove herself in order to gain Caleb’s acceptance. But the people who truly loved her and knew her accepted her fully, the way the dogs did. People like Gertie and her parents. Anything Becca accomplished was the proverbial icing on the cake.
She hadn’t needed to earn their love.
Love was unconditional. And if it wasn’t, she wasn’t interested. Period.
* * *
The weeks ran into each other. Caleb tried to focus on work, but thinking about Becca distracted him as much as when she was a part of his life. He kept telling himself things had worked out for the best. Breaking it off now had saved them both from suffering any real hurt. It was time to move on.
But tonight, on his dream date at Pacifica, he had to wonder if moving on had been for the best.
Sweat dripped down the back of Caleb’s neck due to the heat of the camera light and nerves.
A cameraman stood next to the table for two, filming every moment Caleb spent with a beautiful blonde thirty-year-old woman named Madeline Stevens. He had to give the matchmaker credit. Madeline met all the PR department’s qualifications and then some. She’d graduated from Yale, studied in Paris and owned an art gallery. She sat on the board of two local nonprofits. She had a centerfold-worthy body and wore a sexy little black cocktail dress that showed off her curves. She was everything a man in his position should want in a girlfriend, a wife even.
Except she wasn’t...Becca.
Madeline glanced at the camera. “I had no idea tonight would be a threesome.”
Sense of humor, check. He’d been crossing off the qualities she met from his mental list. “No one mentioned we’d have a chaperone and everything would be on camera.”
He would never have agreed to this if he’d known a follow-up story, complete with film footage, would be shown on Good Day Boise.
“Well
, I guess we’re getting a taste of what being on a reality TV show would be like,” she said.
“I’ll pass.”
“Me, too.” She stared up through her mascara-covered eyelashes at him and lowered her voice. “Maybe we can ditch him and find some place private where we can...talk.”
The suggestive tone of her voice told him talking wasn’t what she had in mind. But strangely, Caleb wasn’t the least bit interested in doing anything other than calling it a night.
He didn’t want Madeline to feel uncomfortable, though he sure did. He hated being here. Hated having to pretend to be interested in such a lovely woman when he’d rather be eating hot dogs at home by himself or peanuts with Becca.
The cameraman moved in closer, then adjusted the microphone.
Caleb needed to keep the conversation flowing, something he’d struggled to do with Madeline. Unlike with Becca. If she were here, the discussion would flow, uninterrupted, from topic to topic.
He didn’t understand why he was out with a stunningly attractive woman and thinking about Becca, especially after what she’d said to him. But he couldn’t get her out of his head. “So, do you have any pets?”
“No,” Madeline said. “I work long hours. I don’t think it would be fair to a dog or cat to leave them alone.”
Good answer. One that Becca—make that Grams—would approve of. “I don’t have any pets or plants for the same reason.”
She leaned forward. Her face puckered in distaste. “There are silk plants. But at least live plants don’t shed dog hair.”
Caleb remembered Maurice and Becca’s lint roller. “My grandmother has a couple of dogs that leave hair everywhere. It’s not that bad. Unless you’re wearing black.”
Madeline’s eyes narrowed. She wet her lips. “Oh, no. I never meant that it was bad. I’m an animal lover. Dogs are the sweetest things. One of these days, I’ll adopt one from a rescue group.”
Her backtracking reminded him of Cassandra, who’d said whatever she thought he wanted to hear. The total opposite of Becca, who spoke her mind, whether he wanted to hear it or not.
He remembered being at the dog show with her. “Dogs are a lot of work.”
“That’s why people use doggy day cares.”
The Man Behind the Pinstripes Page 18