He ran a hand over his beard then nodded. ‘I promise. I’ll find a solicitor and ensure everything’s handled quickly.’
‘Thank you.’
‘I’m so sorry. For everything.’
‘I know.’ I lifted my bag onto my shoulder. ‘I need to go now. Sort it out with Rob. I think your present state of mind is more about what’s going on with you two than us two, isn’t it?’
He didn’t answer.
‘Can I make a suggestion?’ I said. ‘Don’t tell Rob what we talked about. There’s no need to hurt him too. Make sure he knows that you don’t love me anymore and it’s him you want before you lose him as well.’
Gary nodded then followed me down the hall to the front door. ‘You said there were two things you wanted to say…?’
‘Oh yes. I don’t want to live here again, but I can’t stay with Kay forever so I need my share of the house. It’s up to you whether you sell up or buy me out. I’ll give you until next weekend to decide. Okay?’
‘Okay.’
‘Goodbye, Gary.’ I opened the door then hesitated on the doorstep. I gazed down at my left hand. It was time. We weren’t husband and wife, we weren’t lovers, we weren’t even friends. And we certainly weren’t going to be parents together. The rings no longer represented the future to me. I had a new future to write.
‘These are yours,’ I said, placing the three rings in his hand.
Gary looked down at them, his hands shaking slightly. ‘No! Please don’t do that.’
‘You’ll find the boxes in the top drawer of the dressing table.’
‘They’re yours. I know we’ve split up, but I want you to keep them.’ He tried to hand them back to me, but I backed down the path and onto the drive.
‘I can’t keep them and I don’t care whether you want me to because the important thing is that I don’t want to.’ Because that part of my life was now over and, somehow, I needed to find the strength to start over again. New home. New life. New routine. New beginnings. ‘Text me when you’ve made your mind up about the house.’
I heard his strangled sob as I opened Bertie’s door. It took every ounce of strength I had not to rush back and scream ‘yes’ to his offer because what if I was walking away from my one and only opportunity to have a baby? The thought terrified me. But so did the thought of having a baby and being forever connected to the man I’d loved and trusted since I was fourteen who’d lied to me all my life. And that fear was even greater.
12
✉︎ From Curtis
Get your dancing pants on, Red. I’ve got cover for the salon tomorrow so I’m on my way right now. Meet me at the station at 8, ready to go. If you don’t look slutty, you’ll be marched home to change, so choose carefully! Xx
‘Curtis!’ I flung my arms round him.
He picked me up and spun me in a circle in the middle of the platform.
I patted his biceps when he put me down. ‘Someone’s been working out.’
‘That’s nothing. Check this out.’ He swiftly removed his shirt, revealing a ripped stomach. A group of giggling girls wolf-whistled as they passed. Curtis licked his finger then rubbed one of his nipples with it in an extremely camp Austin-Powers-style pose.
I laughed. ‘I’ve missed you, but I’m going to regretfully ask you to put your clothes back on before you get us arrested for indecent exposure.’ The Station Manager was marching towards us with a face like thunder.
‘Spoilsport.’ He pulled his shirt back on. ‘Enough about me, though, let’s look at you, Red.’ He stepped back while I did a twirl. ‘Not bad at all. Not slutty, but I approve.’
I smoothed down the short flared skirt on the emerald green halter-neck dress. ‘I think you know me well enough to know that I have nothing in my wardrobe that fits that description.’
‘Even if you did, I don’t think “slutty” is a word that could ever be applied to you. You are, and always have been, classy. Shall we?’ He offered me his arm.
‘Don’t you have a bag?’ I asked, registering the absence of any luggage.
‘No. Even a wee bag would get in the way. I’ll borrow your toiletries and buy a new T-shirt tomorrow.’
‘And some pants,’ I suggested.
‘Why? I’m going commando now. I’ll do the same tomorrow.’
I laughed again. ‘Too much information.’
‘You asked. So, where first? I haven’t been out drinking in Whitsborough Bay since college and I’m desperately hoping the place has changed since then. Is there anywhere that does cocktails?’
‘Blue Moon. Follow me.’
‘To the most stunning woman in Whitsborough Bay.’ Curtis clinked his ‘Flirtini’ glass against mine.
‘To the hottest man in Scotland,’ I toasted back. ‘And to a great night out.’
‘I guarantee that, but I can’t guarantee you’ll remember it all because I intend to get you absolutely paralytic tonight. If you don’t puke your guts up, I’ll consider it my personal failure.’
‘Can we just stick with the paralytic and avoid the puking part? I promise I’m a cheap date because paralytic will probably only take three of these.’
Curtis took my hand and brought it to his lips. ‘You, my beauty, could never be referred to as cheap.’
‘Gosh, Curtis, I’ve missed you so much. Why have we left it so many years?’
Curtis did a dramatic shrug of his shoulders and flung his arms out, nearly spilling his drink. ‘Life, Red. Life got in the way. Plus, setting up what I’m sure will become Glasgow’s finest hair salon requires working your arse off at weekends and makes catching up with fabulous friends like you a wee bit tricky. But I’m here now. Do you want to talk about your gay husband?’
‘Not really.’ And especially not after his surprising offer last night.
‘Good, because neither do I. Instead, I have a wicked plan. Down these then take me to a quiet pub.’
‘A quiet pub?’
‘Yes. I have very specific requirements. No music and quite a lot of people, preferably middle-aged to old.’
I frowned. ‘You’re describing The Grey Goose which hasn’t changed since you left. I can’t imagine that’s your kind of place.’
‘Oh, it isn’t. I hate that pub. But we’re going to play a wee game and it’s the perfect venue for it. Now down that in one and let’s go.’
‘You see that couple over there,’ Curtis said while we waited for our drinks at the bar of The Grey Goose.
‘What, the couple who aren’t speaking, but clearly feel an obligation to come out to the pub given that it’s Friday night?’
‘That’s the ones. Do you know them?’
‘No.’
‘Do you know anyone in the pub?’
I looked round. There were twenty or so drinkers scattered around the place in couples and singles. The minimum age was late fifties and the dress code was beige. ‘No. Nobody.’
‘Brilliant. We can have some fun, then, without sullying your reputation as an upstanding department head. We’re going to give those two something to talk about. Play along.’ Before I could ask to what I’d be playing along, he’d taken a seat next to the silent couple and I felt I had to follow.
‘So, it burns when you pee?’ he announced.
I spat my drink back into the glass. It was either that or the table. ‘Curtis!’
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘It’s just that I’ve had a burning sensation too and I wondered whether it’s because a brother and sister shouldn’t sleep together…’
The evening quickly descended into depravity from that point.
We burst through the doors of Minty’s, clinging to each other and giggling hysterically.
‘I seriously can’t believe you came out with all of that,’ I said. ‘You’re a sick, sick puppy, Curtis McBride.’
‘Elise? Curtis?’
I looked up. ‘Sarah! My best friend!’ I flung my arms round her. ‘It’s been weeks. Why’s it been so long?’
Sarah let go of
me and wrinkled her nose. ‘Because you’ve been avoiding me?’ she suggested.
I nodded. ‘Good point. S’nothing personal. It’s just… cos of Gary… and weddings… you know…?’
‘I know. But we didn’t have to talk about either of those subjects unless you’d wanted to, did we?’
Even in my drunken state, I could hear the edge to her voice and knew that I’d hurt her. So much for friendship-preservation. Staying away had probably caused more damage than moaning about Gary instead of wedding-planning would have done. Damn! ‘Sorry. We’ll go out soon. I promise.’
She smiled. ‘I’ll hold you to it. Speaking of long time, no see, how are you, Curtis?’ She spoke in the forced pleasant tone that I knew she reserved for awkward customers. She didn’t dislike Curtis; she just worried that he tended to land me in trouble whenever we were together. It was a legitimate concern because he usually did.
Curtis grabbed her and twirled her round like he’d done with me at the station earlier then gave her a big smacker on the cheek. ‘All the better for seeing you. I believe congratulations are in order.’
‘Thank you.’ She held out her hand so Curtis could admire the ring.
‘Stunning. Just like you. I’m liking the soft curls by the way. Perfect for your bone structure. Gorgeous.’
The flattery had clearly worked because her tone changed to genuinely polite. ‘Would you like to join us? We’re over there.’ She pointed towards the back of the bar then pulled a face. ‘Clare’s here, though. So if you don’t want to…’
Curtis put a protective arm round my shoulder. ‘I’ll protect her from The Rampant Leprechaun.’ We both howled with laughter. Talk about an echo from the past. I’d completely forgotten that Curtis has christened her that. What a great memory he had.
‘O-kay.’ Sarah looked like she was already regretting the invite.
‘We’ll get some drinks then join you.’ Curtis shooed her away. ‘Give us ten minutes or so.’
With a worried look, Sarah returned to her group. I could see Nick’s head and there was another man with them, but I couldn’t see him properly. I bobbed about to get a better view. Stevie? He nodded his head towards me and smiled. I gave him a little wave as a pang of guilt shot through me for turning down his offers of a shoulder to cry on since he’d helped me move.
‘Tequila time!’ Curtis placed two shot glasses in front of me, alongside a saucer of lemon pieces and a salt cellar.
‘Oh no.’
‘Oh yes. One, two, three…’
I’m not entirely sure how my unsteady legs managed to carry me across the bar to Sarah’s group, but Curtis’s supporting arm certainly helped. Sarah jumped up when she saw us and did the introductions while Nick pulled up extra chairs. I was relieved to sit down before I collapsed in an undignified heap on the floor.
‘Clare. Great to see you as always,’ I said, pointing to her.
‘Elise!’ Sarah hissed. ‘Be nice.’
‘I am being nice. I said it was great to see her.’
‘It’s the way you said it.’
‘Shhhh.’ I put my finger to my lips and missed. ‘Anyway, it’s rude to whisper.’
‘How are you, Elise?’ Clare said.
‘It turns out my husband’s gay and it’s taken him fifteen years to admit it so my whole marriage has been a lie. I only found out because I found him shagging his best friend in our shower.’ I pointed at Stevie. ‘So we’ve split up and I’m living in Sarah’s auntie’s spare room. So, as you can probably imagine, I’m feeling pretty shit right now. But thanks for asking. Or should I just have given the standard answer of fine?’
I waited for some sarcastic comment about it serving me right for marrying so young or a statistic about how many marriages ended in divorce, but all Clare said was, ‘I’m really sorry. Nobody deserves to have that sort of bollocks happen to them. Your man Gary’s an eejit.’ It sounded like she genuinely meant it. Clare being nice? That was certainly a first.
‘We’re going to throw some shapes in Stardust,’ Curtis announced. ‘Anyone fancy joining us?’
‘Me!’ Clare said. ‘Don’t look at me like that, Sarah. It’ll be grand. You’ve been promising me a trip to Whitsborough Bay’s finest nightclub since you moved home.’
‘I know. And I will take you… if I must… but not on a Friday,’ Sarah said. ‘I’ve got an early wedding tomorrow. I’ve got to be at the shop by seven.’
Clare pouted.
‘I don’t mind going,’ Stevie offered. ‘I can see Clare back to yours.’
‘Are you sure you both want to go?’ she asked. They nodded so Sarah reached into her bag and handed Clare her key.
Two hours later, Curtis had well and truly achieved his goal of getting me paralytic. I knew that if I had even one sip more of alcohol, he’d achieve his other goal of making me throw up. Staggering off the dance floor, I ordered a pint of water then made my way unsteadily towards a quiet corner where I slumped onto an unexpectedly hard sofa. My head felt fuzzy, my feet throbbed, and it surely had to be past my bedtime. I rummaged in my bag for my mobile to check the time and spotted a text from Gary. What now? More propositions to play happy families? With shaking hands, I opened the message and concentrated hard on focusing my eyes:
✉︎ From Gary
Thanks for your understanding yesterday. Not sure what I was thinking. I don’t need a week to decide about the house. Too many memories for me too so let’s both start over. I’ll get some estate agents to value it next weekend and, if you’re happy with the price, I’ll get it on the market the week after. Really sorry it’s come to this
I sipped on my water as I stared at his text. How should I feel? Happy? Angry? Numb?
‘I’m guessing you’ve had plenty if you’ve moved onto water.’
I looked up to see Stevie holding a short glass.
‘Can I join you?’ he asked.
‘Be my guest. But the sofa’s rock hard. Be warned.’
He sat beside me and shuffled his bum. ‘You’re right. It’s like a breeze block.’
‘Told you.’
He took a sip of his drink then put it down on the table. ‘It’s great to see you enjoying yourself. You deserve a good night out after what you’ve been through.’
I stared at Gary’s text again and frowned as I put the phone down on the sofa beside me. ‘Sorry I haven’t seen you since I moved, but thanks for the offers of drinks. I wouldn’t have been great company. Needed to get my head straight.’
‘That’s okay. I understand. Bad news?’
‘What is?’
‘You keep staring at your phone and frowning, so I’m wondering if it’s bad news.’
‘Sorry. Text from Gary. We’re putting the house on the market.’
‘Big step. How do you feel about it?’
I shrugged. ‘Bit strange. I thought Gary would buy me out.’
‘Maybe there are too many memories for him to stay there.’
‘That’s what he said.’
‘It’s a big house for one person too. I can’t imagine Gary rattling round there on his own. Can you?’ He smiled.
‘Probably not.’ I stared at his dimples. ‘Can I touch them?’
‘Touch what?’
‘Your dimples. They’re so cute.’
His smile widened and his dimples indented even further. Very cute. Actually, quite sexy. Why hadn’t I noticed that before?
‘If it turns you on,’ he said.
‘Oh, it does.’ I reached out my right hand and gently stroked the side of his face. His skin felt smooth whereas Gary’s was nearly always stubbly. My lips parted as I ran my fingers from his dimples into his hair. It felt very soft whereas Gary’s was usually hardened with product.
‘Elise…’
‘Shhh! I don’t want to talk.’ I reached out my other hand and touched his thigh. He didn’t tighten it like Gary had last time I touched him. My heart thumped along with the baseline of the music. My breathing quickened as I stared into
his eyes. I’d never stared into anyone’s eyes except Gary’s. Stevie had beautiful eyes like melted pools of chocolate with flecks of gold in them. Why hadn’t I noticed them before either?
‘I don’t think this is such a good idea,’ he said.
‘What isn’t?’ I brazenly leaned forward and gave him a gentle peck on the lips. They felt soft, moist, and incredibly kissable. I’d only ever kissed Gary before. My body shook with anticipation.
‘This. You’ve been drinking…’
I kissed him gently again. ‘I know what I’m doing.’
‘I’m sure you do. But…’
‘But what?’ I pulled back. ‘Don’t you want me?’
‘You’re gorgeous. You must know that. But…’
‘But what? Don’t tell me you’re gay too.’
‘No. It’s just that… it’s not right. You’ve only just split up with Gary. I don’t want you to do anything you might regret. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.’
‘Friend?’ I snapped. ‘Friend? Is that what I am to you?’
‘Yes. A good friend.’
‘Good friend. Yes, that’s me. Everyone’s best friend. Can I ask you a question, Stevie? What’s wrong with me? Why does every man I meet want to be my friend? Why does nobody want to rip my clothes off and enact Fifty Shades with me? Do I score zero on a desirability scale?’
‘You’d score top marks. You’re very desirable.’
‘Then how come I just handed myself to you on a plate and you said no?’ I grabbed my bag, stood up and shoved past him. ‘Don’t answer that. Tell Curtis to meet me outside.’
Then I fled.
13
✉︎ From Curtis
This time last week, I was travelling home after an amazing weekend with a gorgeous woman. What would they say at work if they knew? Just had a very tame weekend in comparison. No idea The Bay had so much going on! Please tell me you’ve been in touch with Dimples this week and sorted out your misunderstanding xx
Finding Hope at Lighthouse Cove Page 10