But then someone else started about six months after me, and everyone took an immediate liking to her. She became one of them from almost the first day that she started. I’ll never forget that day. I’d been so excited to have someone that was finally newer in the office than me. I pictured taking her under my wing and finally having someone to talk to. By the end of that day, it was clear that I would never fit in with these people, and that my destiny in the company had been set.
I sat in my kitchen now, cradling my coffee and watching as the minutes went by. I’d gotten up far too early, which was never a good thing. I preferred waking up and having just enough time to shower and eat before heading out. The less time I had to think about the upcoming day, the better. The looming day weighed heavily on me now. I decided to call my father. He was always up before the rest of the world so I knew I wouldn’t be waking him up.
“Hello, Rick speaking,” he said. I tried not to laugh. I’d called him on his cell, and I was certain my name would’ve come up on the screen. But for some reason, my father just couldn’t figure out cell phones as well as everyone else. It wasn’t that he wasn’t a modern man or anything. But sometimes technology just got the better of him.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Holly! Wow, this is a nice surprise. First thing on a Monday morning and I get to hear your voice.”
I chuckled. Why couldn’t my work colleagues be as nice as my father? “Well, it’s nice to hear your voice too. I woke up early and figured I’d call to say hi before going in to work. I knew you’d be up too.”
“Of course. I’ve been up for ages already. It’s my favorite time of the day. There’s just something special about the early mornings, don’t you think?”
“I guess so. I like sleeping in too, though.”
He laughed. “You always loved your sleep. Even as a kid. It’s not a bad thing. I read an article about this man who had lived to like two hundred or something.”
I groaned. My father was always finding these articles on the internet, and he couldn’t ever really distinguish which ones were fake and which were real. “Two hundred? Surely not?”
“I’m telling you, Holly. Two hundred. And the reasons were simple ones. He simply didn’t stress. He lived a calm and relaxing life. Stress kills.”
I sighed. “Tell me about it. Well, looks like I won’t be around for much longer than.”
“Holly! Don’t say things like that. What’s going on?”
“No, nothing is going on. I’m just not exactly what you’d call the most relaxed person in the world these days.”
“But why? You should be. You’re so young. There should be no reason for you to stress. Isn’t work going well?”
“Not really. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love the work. I like what I do, and I have no regrets with going into that. But the company is not exactly what I had hoped it to be.”
“How long have you felt this way?”
“Since day one.”
“Since day one? Why didn’t you tell me? Don’t tell me that you just didn’t want to worry me, because you know I’d rather know what’s going on.”
“I know, Dad. It’s not just that. I really hoped it would get better.”
“What’s the problem?”
“Nobody likes me. They all pile on the work so that they can sit back and just relax.”
“But that’s not fair. Have you told your boss? I know you don’t like to tell on people, but it’s not fair that you are doing more work than anyone else.”
I sighed. “The boss doesn’t care. As long as the work gets done, it doesn’t really matter who does it. Anyway, the boss is on their side. Trust me. I just feel like I get bullied there.”
“Bullied? Oh, Holly, you can’t go on, then. You need to learn how to stick up for yourself. You’re a strong woman, and you can’t let them get away with this.”
“I know. But sticking up for myself won’t get me anywhere in a place like that.”
“Then don’t stay there. There are a million jobs out there in the world. Why stick to this one? Don’t let them win. I’m proud of you, Holly. God is proud of you. I pray for you every day, and I know that He is looking out for you. Why don’t you quit and come and live with me for a while? You can use that time to look for another job. The perfect job. It will be nice to have you around anyway.”
I smiled. “I love you, Dad. Thank you. I’ll give about it. I’ll see how this week goes.”
“Don’t think about it too much. You deserve better. We choose our own destiny, remember? So make sure you choose one that makes you happy.”
I felt better after talking to my father, but I wasn’t sure that it was going to make much of a difference. I needed that job, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go back home. It would feel like I had failed and failure was the last thing I needed after already feeling bad about being bullied. Maybe I just needed to stand up for myself more at work, and start taking on less work. If they could do it, then why couldn’t I?
I got to work with a million thoughts running through my head. It was Monday morning, and I was ready to tackle this day head on. I dropped my bag at my desk and made my way to the coffee machine. I always started the day off with a cup at home and then a cup at work. It was necessary with the amount of work that we had to do each day. As I got to the kitchen, I saw a few of my co-workers huddled by the coffee machine. They were laughing and joking around, and giggled when they saw me coming. They moved over so that I could get some coffee but not one of them even bothered to say hello to me. They stood in silence and the moment I walked out, I heard them start talking again. They were having a good time, and I hadn’t felt that sort of inclusion in such a long time that my heart actually ached for it. There was nothing worse than the feeling of being lonely.
I walked back to my desk, sat down, and sighed. I was just about to start on my work when my boss walked in and dumped a whole new pile of paperwork on my desk.
“More work, Holly. This needs to be done by the end of the day. Understood?”
I sat there, staring at him. No thank you for staying late on Friday to finish my work. No conversation about how my weekend was or how I was doing. And, from the look of things, no work given to anyone else but me. What was wrong with me? Was I really such a fool? Was I going to spend my entire life being bullied by people just because I didn’t know how to stand up for myself? I wasn’t the same Holly from school days. I was a strong and independent woman. If I left this place, they would all suffer without me because there would be nobody to do my work. The thought of them all scrambling to get things done made me feel good. I wanted them to know what real work was all about. I wanted them to know just how much they needed me. I wanted them to feel regret for the way that they had treated me. My boss was still standing in front of me, staring curiously at me. I hadn’t said a word. I’d just been staring at the pile of work while all these thoughts ran through my mind.
And then, all of a sudden, everything seemed funny to me, and I started laughing out loud. My boss looked at me as if I actually lost the plot.
“Uh, Holly, did you hear what I said?” he asked.
“That you need these files done by the end of the day? Yeah, I heard you,” I said and chuckled to myself. “Do you know what time I finished on Friday?”
“Friday?”
“Yeah. Do you know what time I finished on Friday?” I said again.
“Uh. No.”
“Of course you don’t. I finished at seven thirty. I was the only one left in here. Have you ever been in the office at that time of the night? It’s kind of eerie. Not something a young woman should have to experience. But I’m such a good worker. I made sure that all the work was done. Even though I’m sure that work shouldn’t have been done by me in the first place. Terry should’ve done it. Isn’t that right?” I said to Terry who had now walked into the room after hearing me talking back to the boss. I noticed a few people had walked in. They weren’t used to me saying so much. I loved
the looks on their faces as they took in the scene. “I already had my own pile of work to deal with that day.”
“Well, you should’ve talked to me,” the boss said.
“Oh yeah? And you would’ve told me that I didn’t have to finish the work? That someone should’ve helped me? I honestly doubt that you would’ve said that. No, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to have this work done by the end of the day. I’ve done enough work here. In fact, since I started I’ve done more work than everyone put together. It’s not fair. It’s a pity because I actually enjoyed the work. If you had all been nice to me, I would’ve stayed here for the rest of my working life. But I’m not going to be treated like this any longer.”
“What are you saying?”
I stood up, put my coat on, and handed the pile of work back to my boss. He took it from me and frowned. He seemed at a complete loss for words for the first time in my life.
“I think you know exactly what I am saying. I quit.”
“You quit? You can’t just quit.”
“Well actually, I think you’ll find that I can. I quit.”
I walked out to an office full of shocked faces. Terry was literally standing open-mouthed. I hadn’t raised my voice or made much of a scene. I’d simply stood up for myself. The moment I walked through the doors and breathed in the fresh morning air, I smiled. My dad would’ve been so happy to have witnessed that. For the first time in a long time, I felt proud of myself.
Chapter Five
Xavier
People often thought that as a firefighter we only worked when there was a fire. This wasn’t the case. We were constantly doing drills and working on ways to improve, and each day was as exhausting as the next. It was important to also make sure that we were in good physical health because it took a lot to fight a fire and we had to have the best people on the team. Working for the National Park Service meant that I was also involved in a lot of community work, and I was often called to work with the conservation team. It always amazed me at how much these people cared for the community. It was another long day at work, and my day wasn’t over yet. I was walking toward my car when Kenny called me over.
“Hey man, I’ve decided to keep bugging you until you come out with me. I mean, I’m your best friend—surely you’ll have to say yes to me eventually.”
I laughed. “You’ll eventually give up on me. I’m just as strong willed as you are.”
“No way. You won’t give up on me. I’m stronger. You’ll see. So, our time has started now. Want to join me tonight?”
“Nope. Count me out,” I said and chuckled.
“Oh come on, at least come out for a beer. You don’t have to stay all night. Doesn’t a beer sound good to you?”
“Actually, a beer sounds great to me.”
“So then? What’s the problem? And don’t tell me that you can’t drink on Thursday. We have the next few days off so we might as well use them wisely.”
“And by 'wisely,' you mean going out and getting trashed?”
“Since when has that been a problem for you?”
“Since I got a DWI.”
“Well, you don’t need to take your bike. I always get a cab when I go out. Come on; we can split the fare.”
“I honestly can’t, Kenny. I’m actually heading right over to Rick’s place. He needs my help with a few things, and I promised him I’d be there.”
Kenny groaned. “You’d rather help an old man than spend time drinking beer with your best friend? What has this world come to?”
“Rick isn’t old.”
“He also isn’t your responsibility. You do realize that he’s not actually your stepfather anymore, don’t you?”
“Of course he is.”
“No, he’s not. And you could go and help him tomorrow.”
I pulled a face. “You’re a pain; you know that? Fine, he’s not my actual stepfather, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help him. He’s a good man.”
“And you’re the only one he knows to ask for help? What’s the point of being a pastor if you can’t ask all the people in your church to help you?”
“I don’t think that’s the reason he’s a pastor. Anyway, I want to help him.”
“I hope you’ll at least get that beer you want.”
I thought of the milky cup of tea that I was more than likely going to get. “I hope so too,” I said.
“Well, have a good time. If you get bored, think of me having the time of my life with the most beautiful girls while drinking the most delicious beer. That should make you feel better about the choice you made tonight.”
I laughed. “Sure, I’ll keep you at the forefront of my mind all night.”
“And remember, I’m not giving up on you. One of these days you will be coming out with me.”
“We’ll see. We’ll see. Anyway, I better get going. Don’t forget your pants in the morning!”
I made my way over to Rick’s house and wondered if Kenny wasn’t right about my poor social life. I had chosen to go and visit my former stepfather over a night out with my best friend. That probably didn’t say too much about me. But Rick had done a lot for me, and if he needed my help, then I didn’t want to let him down. I also felt bad that I was the only one that stayed in touch with him. I knew that it meant a lot to him that I still considered him to be such an important part of my life.
“Thanks for coming over. Tea? Or do you feel like a beer? I’m sure you’ve had a long day.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “A beer would be amazing. Thank you.”
Rick didn’t drink much, not because he didn’t want to or that he was against it, but he liked to maintain a certain image for the people at the church. He still enjoyed a beer or a glass of wine every now and again but generally did it away from the watchful eye of the public.
“Glad you said that. I could use a beer myself,” he said and threw me a cold one.
We sat together in the living room while I told him about my day. He’d always been so fascinated with my career and liked to know everything about it. I wasn’t sure if it was the actual firefighting that he was interested in, or if he just liked to get involved in my life, but either way, I thought it was nice. I told him all about Kenny and the pants, and he dissolved into laughter.
“He’s a crazy guy. Not much has changed, huh?”
“Not at all. So, what do you need help with? Your pipes again? I was hoping they would be fine for a while.”
“No, the pipes are fine. Thanks, Xavier. You did a great job with them. Actually, I don’t need your help tonight, but I was wondering if you could help me fix up the garage tomorrow. I know you’re busy though so if you can’t, I completely understand.”
“Actually, I have the next few days off, so I don’t mind helping at all.”
“You don’t have plans?”
I shook my head. “Nope. And I’m always happy to help. So, fix the garage up? What are you planning to do with it?”
“It’s become a bit of a dumping ground lately,” he said. “I always put things there when I’m not sure where to put them. And I want to get it turned into a bedroom.”
“A bedroom? You planning on renting it out?” I asked. He’d once turned the garage into a bedroom before and had created a separate door and windows for it. He always left the car outside so the room had been perfect for it. I’d even stayed there once before, but that had been a long time ago.
“Oh goodness, no. Sorry, I forgot to tell you. Remember I told you that Holly might be coming home? Well, it’s definite!”
“So it’s not just for a holiday then? She’s coming home for good?”
“Well, until she can find another job. I cannot wait to have her around again. I know we said we’d see each other often when she moved but she was always so busy. Life got in the way, I suppose. It’s going to be great having her here again. I figured I’d give her the garage just to give her a bit of privacy. She’s an adult now. I doubt she wants me around all the time.”
> I smiled. “That’s nice of you. Wow, it will be great to see her again. Little Holly, I’ve really missed her. I’d love to help out. I’ll come around tomorrow. Think we can have it done in a day?”
Rick shook his head. “Sadly, the place is kind of a mess. It might take a little longer than that. She didn’t give me much notice so we’ll just have to work with what we’ve got.”
I stayed a little longer, finishing my beer and talking to Rick. It was obvious that he was excited about his daughter coming back home, and I was glad that he’d have someone around to keep him company. I knew how much he missed my mother and how lonely he was since she had died. He didn’t talk about it much, but I knew that the nights were probably the worst for him. This was just the sort of thing he needed to keep his mind occupied. I drove home thinking about how good it was going to be to see Holly again. She had always been such a sweet and fragile little thing, and I’d always been protective of her. I hated the way people felt they could take advantage of her and that she had no idea how to stand up for herself. I was interested to see how much she had changed. When I thought about her, I couldn’t help but still conjure up the small figure in my head. I chuckled as I thought about her pushing those big round glasses up her nose. Why hadn’t I kept in touch with her?
Chapter Six
Holly
I forgot how good being home could be. I’d been so excited to move away all those years ago. I was so proud of myself for going after my dream and getting what I wanted out of life, and I’d walked away feeling smug and important. I had told myself that I was going to visit at least twice a year, but now that I was back, I realized I hadn’t been to visit in years. Life had simply gotten the best of me, and I’d been far busier than I had intended to be. But it wasn’t just being busy that had kept me away. I knew that deep down it was because I didn’t want to admit to my father, or even to myself, how unhappy I was. It was much easier to pretend like everything was fine over the phone.
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