“I know. But still, you always think it won’t be as bad as that. And we had so many people helping out. I don’t think we’ve ever had so many people out on the job at the same time like that. And yet it still took so long to die down. Apparently, there are still guys out there now making sure it doesn’t get out of hand again. There are still a few fires, but they’re small and should be out soon. I’m going to go out and help soon. We’re going to take shifts.”
“Thanks for coming to visit, Xavier. You guys have been amazing. I think I’m going to be in the hospital for a while, so it’s good to have some company. I’ll just pretend like I’m on vacation for now. I’m going to request that I get a stack of books sent to me. I haven’t had a holiday in a long time.”
I smiled at him and wondered if I would still be so cheerful if something like that had happened to me. I was generally a fairly positive guy, but I wasn’t sure if I’d be nearly as upbeat as he was. He was a true hero. I stayed there a bit longer, just talking about the fire and giving up updates as I received them. Suddenly, I heard someone crying out in the hallway, and my heart skipped a beat. Don’t tell me something has happened to one of the injured guys. I couldn’t stand to lose anyone else. I ran outside to see what was going on and stopped short when I saw Holly and Rick standing in front of me. I blinked a few times as I was sure I was imagining it.
“Holly? Rick? What’s going on?”
Holly ran towards me and flung herself into my arms.
“You’re okay, you’re okay,” she said over and over again. “We were looking everywhere for you. I asked for you at reception but the lady was so flustered, she didn’t know who I was talking about. I thought . . . I thought you were dead.”
It was so good to see her again. I hugged her again just to feel her against me once more.
“I’m not dead. Why did you think that?”
“We saw the fire on the TV, and then my dad tried to call you, and you didn’t answer. We were so worried.”
“Oh, Holly I’m fine. I’m fine. I was one of the lucky ones. Two of our guys died, and we have about eight that are injured. I’ve been at the hospital most of the time,” I said, and I patted my jeans and frowned. “My phone must be at home. I haven’t really been thinking straight. I’m sorry you were so worried. Come here,” I said and pulled her in again. She was trembling, and I wrapped my arms around her and closed my eyes. I felt so much better just having her with me. When I opened my eyes, I saw that Rick was looking at me. I didn’t pull away from Holly, but I gave him a sad smile. He looked like he had aged since I’d last seen him. His face was gaunt and pale. I was surprised when he smiled back at me.
“I’m glad you’re okay, my boy,” he said softly.
I let Holly go and gave Rick a big hug. At that moment I didn’t actually care what had happened before with us. I was just so glad to see them both. When I pulled away, I was surprised to see how emotional Rick was. I had never seen him like that before.
“Are you crying?” I teased.
“Even tough men like me cry sometimes,” he said.
I laughed. “Don’t worry. I’ve been crying a lot lately.”
“I’m sorry, Xavier. For everything.” His voice was heavy with sadness, and I wondered what was going on. Was he just relieved to see that I was alive? Why did it feel like there was something he was not telling me?
I frowned. “What do you mean? Rick, what’s going on?”
“Holly will explain it to you. But I just want you to know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. Please know that. No matter what. You have to know that you are important to me. I’m the one that stuffed up. Not you.”
I nodded. “Okay, but . . . I don’t understand.”
“You’re a great boy, Xavier. And I’ve missed you a whole lot this month. Come around for a cup of tea soon, won’t you?”
I smiled. I still had no idea what he was talking about, but suddenly the thought of that milky tea made me very happy. Nostalgia and happy memories surrounded that tea. I would never tell him that I actually didn’t like the way it tasted. Although I was almost certain that I would probably enjoy it now, simply for the pure fact that he had made it for me.
“I’d love that.”
“I’m going to leave the two of you to catch up. Darling, will you call me if you need me to get you?” he said to Holly.
“I will. I love you, Dad,” Holly said to him.
“I love you too. You’re a good girl; you know that?”
“And you’re a good father. Okay? Don’t worry, Dad. It’s going to be fine.”
I turned to Holly as he walked away. “What’s going on? He’s acting very strange.”
“Have a minute to talk?” she asked.
“I sure do. Come on, let’s get a coffee.”
I was surprised when Holly took my hand as we walked over to the hospital canteen to get our coffee. We took a seat together, and I turned to look at her.
“We’re holding hands? I thought you didn’t want to see me ever again? Not that I’m complaining of course. I like holding your hand again. But I’m just very confused. As far as I was aware, you wanted nothing to do with me.”
She looked at me and smiled sadly. “And I thought you didn’t want to see me ever again. I thought that it was you that wanted nothing to do with me.”
“I don’t understand.”
“My father told us both the same story.”
“He did what?”
“He lied to us. I never said that about you, and I only just found out this morning that you never said those things about me either. That’s why he feels so guilty. He knows that what he did was wrong.”
I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. I had never for one minute thought that Rick would’ve lied to us. If he told me that Holly didn’t want to see me then I had no reason not to believe him. I didn’t even know he was capable of lying. “Are you serious? I can’t believe this. Rick is just not the sort of man that lies. I spent a whole month thinking that you didn’t care enough to fight for me.”
“Yeah. I spent a whole month doing the same thing. I couldn’t believe that you would do that to me. I told my father about us, and he freaked out. He wasn’t happy at all and told me that it was disgusting that I would even consider something like that. It was the first proper fight we’ve ever had really.”
“Yeah the two of you always had the best relationship,” I said. It was something I had always admired with the two of them. All kids fought with their parents, but Holly and her father had always just gotten along well. I attributed it to them both just being such nice people. I couldn’t imagine the two of them fighting.
“It was awful, Xavier. I hated fighting with him so much. It felt wrong on every level, but I also wanted to stick up for myself, and I wanted to stick up for you. I didn’t believe that what we were doing was wrong. Anyway, I couldn’t stand to be there anymore, so I stormed out the house and went to my mother’s grave. Then I went and spent the evening with Andrea just to get away from it all. When I came back home, he told me that you had come around and that you felt horrible about what had happened. He made it seem like you felt sickened by the whole thing. That’s why I never contacted you. Because I thought you didn’t want to hear from me.”
“And that’s why I didn’t contact you,” I said. “Wow. I can’t believe he did that. I knew he didn’t want us to be together, but I didn’t think he’d go to those lengths.”
“Yeah. I couldn’t believe it either. It’s just not the sort of thing he would do. That’s why we both believed him I guess. Neither of us even thought about confronting the other person.”
“What does he think now?” I asked. From the looks of things he sure felt guilty about it all.
She shrugged. “To be honest, I’m not sure. He had just confessed when we saw the fire on the TV, and we came rushing over here. We haven’t really had the chance to think about it. It would’ve been nice if we could’ve sat and really talked abo
ut the whole thing but there was no time. You were our first priority at that moment. But . . . I think he knows what he did was wrong. And I think he is slowly starting to realize that he overreacted. In fact, I think the fire probably made him realize just how much he needs you in his life. Also, I told him that lying was a sin, so that shut him up pretty quickly.”
I laughed. “Throwing his words back into his face? Good tactic.”
“Also, he’s missed having you around. Obviously, I’ve missed you, but he has too. He just didn’t want to admit it until now. This morning was the first time we even spoke your name. Although for the past month it’s been hanging in the air around us.”
“I’ve missed coming around. I felt like a part of me was missing this whole time. Like I’ve just been surviving instead of living. Holly, shit, this is crazy,” I said, and suddenly I found myself laughing. “Sorry, I know I shouldn’t laugh considering everything that’s going on. But I feel a little giddy at this news. It’s taken me completely by surprise. I don’t think you know just how much I need you right now. I . . . oh, Holly, I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time, and I haven’t stopped loving you this whole time. You’re the most amazing woman in the world. The fire made me see just how quick your life can end. I don’t want to live this life without you.”
She grinned. “That’s the best thing you’ve ever said to me. Xavier, I love you too. So much. And I want to be with you.”
“Yeah. Screw what other people think. I’m in love with you, and I am not ashamed of it. We should never have been ashamed.”
“Neither am I. I mean, I’m super proud of myself for managing to bag such a hot guy.”
I chuckled. I leaned in and kissed her. I felt my body melt the moment I lips touched and I almost forgot that we were sitting in the middle of a busy hospital.
“I’ve missed that.”
“I cannot tell you how much I’ve been trying not to think about you in that way,” she admitted. “It was too hard to think we might never do that again.”
“Same for me. Listen, I have to see a few more of the guys. But I should be done in about an hour. Will you wait? I want to get out of here with you.”
“Of course I’ll wait. You go and do what you have to do. I’ll wait right here for you.”
I smiled at her. “I love you.”
“I love you.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Holly
I couldn’t believe it. Not only was Xavier alive, but he still wanted me in his life. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and make myself look decent. I’d rushed over to the hospital without even bothering to brush my hair. I’d just been so overwhelmed with emotions and fear that I hadn’t worried about myself. I looked in the mirror now and laughed at myself. This was the face that Xavier had just seen. Once my face was washed, I put a comb through my hair and tied it up into a high ponytail. I put a little bit of mascara on and a dash of lipstick. I sprayed some deodorant under my arms and dabbed on a bit of perfume. There was nothing I could do about my clothes – my jeans and an old t-shirt, but at least I was now looking a bit more human. I walked back to the hospital canteen to wait for him.
When I saw him walking towards me, I ordered us each a cappuccino to go. I handed him a cup and smiled at his handsome face.
“I figured you might need this,” I said.
“Oh yeah. The last few hours have been rough.”
“I’m sure. I can’t believe how bad that fire was, Xavier. I’m just glad that you’re okay. I’m so sorry to hear about your friends, though.”
“I think we’re all in shock. It’s been rough. I had no idea it was going to be that bad.”
“I’ve missed you so much.”
He looked at me. “I’ve missed you too. Want to go down to the lake? It’s such a beautiful day.”
I smiled. “I’d love that.”
At the lake, we took a seat on the grass and looked out at the water.
“Water. The opposite of fire. No wonder I like coming here so much,” he said.
I leaned in towards him and took his hand. For a while, we didn’t say anything. We just looked out on the lake and held hands. I felt calmer than I’d felt in a very long time.
“I hear congratulations are in order,” he said to me.
“They are?’’
“You got a job. Well, that’s what I heard anyway.”
I smiled. “News travels fast in this place. Yeah, I got a job. And I love it. I’m so happy there. I have the most amazing boss, a great group of colleagues and the work itself is exactly what I want. It’s in the city, very cool place, right next to the most amazing café.”
“I’m happy for you, Holly. And I’m so grateful that you didn’t get a job out of town.”
“Me too. Although, I’ll be honest, I did think about it. I figured going out of town would be the best thing so that I didn’t bump into you. But I also didn’t want to run away from my problems anymore. I wanted to face them head on. I figured if you didn’t want to be with me then you should be the one to go away, not me. My stubbornness is what kept me here.”
He laughed. “I’m glad. And I’m sure your father is happy.”
“He is. Poor thing. He must be feeling so confused right now. I think he’s going to be fine, though. We probably should’ve been upfront with him from the beginning. I think the whole thing was just a shock to him.”
“Does that mean that we’re going to stay together?’’
“Of course it does. There’s no way I’m letting you go now, Xavier.”
“And I’m not letting you go. Did you hear about Kenny and Andrea?”
“I heard,” I said. Andrea had called me up in tears just the other day, and I’d sat with her while she told me that she was pregnant. I couldn’t believe it. “She said they were so careful too. But she did admit to being drunk a few times. I’m surprised her and Kenny did it more than once. I thought he was strictly a one-time sort of guy.”
“He is. Well, twice is his maximum, usually. But they definitely did it more times than that.”
“Does that mean he likes her?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea. I think he does, but he doesn’t seem to want to admit it. He keeps telling me that he doesn’t want to settle down and that he isn’t in love with her, but I’m not sure I believe him. It’s not my place to force him to do anything, though. He’ll have to figure it out on his own. It’s a messy situation; there's no denying that.”
“Even messier than ours.”
He laughed. “That’s for sure. I hope they sort things out. They’re both such great people. What does she think about the whole thing?”
I thought about Andrea sobbing into my arms and shook my head. “I think she’s just in shock. She’s always wanted to be a mother, but not in this way. She’s had the most troubled past with men, and I think she’s just upset that this has happened. She’s such an incredible girl, and all she wants is to find a guy that treats her well. I think she really likes Kenny, but she said he doesn’t want to be with her. So I’m not sure. It’s funny, I look at their lives and think how easy it is. It’s simple to me – they should just be together. And I’m sure they used to look at us and say the same thing. It’s always easier when it’s not your own life don’t you think?’’
“You’re absolutely right. Kenny used to tell me all the time that I should just be with you.”
“Kenny is a very smart man. We should listen to him more,” I said, and we both laughed.
We sat like that for another hour, just holding hands and talking. I called my dad too just to let him know that I was fine and that I was sitting with Xavier. He sounded sad on the phone, and I asked him if everything was okay.
“I just shouldn’t have done what I did, Holly. I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive myself for what I did. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“Oh, Dad, don’t be sorry. We’ll all sit one of these days and talk things through. I promise.”
>
“Thanks, my darling. I love you.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
“Tell Xavier I love him too.”
I chuckled. “I’ll do that.”
I cut the call and turned to Xavier. “My father says he loves you.”
“Wow, things have changed.”
I giggled. “I’m glad he finally saw the light and saw how amazing you are.”
He raised his eyebrows at me. “So you think I’m amazing?”
“You should know that’s exactly what I think,” I said and leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was slow, lingering and passionate, and I immediately felt my body respond to his.
“Your place is close, isn’t it?” I said.
He laughed. “It sure is.”
Back at his place, we walked almost shyly to his bedroom. Every time we’d had sex in the past, it had been with an almost urgent energy like we were worried someone would stop us and we wouldn’t be able to do it again. Each time always felt like it might be the last. But today was different. We took our time with one another, and as we fell into bed, we kissed slowly and gently. It felt more like the start of a million more days to come. I knew that this wouldn’t be the last time I’d be making love with him. He pushed gently inside me, and I moaned softly. How could I have lived without this man? How could I have lived without doing this with him every single day of my life?
Afterwards, we lay together and faced one another. We were holding hands and smiling at one another.
“That was nice,” I said.
“Just nice?”
“It was perfect.”
“That’s what I thought too. Holly, we’re going to make this work between us. We have to. We’ve already had one big obstacle in our way, and we have overcome it. That means nothing is going to stop us now. We were meant for each other. I love you and promise you that I will never leave you. This is it. You’re who I want.”
A tear rolled down my face, and he wiped it away.
Dirty Stepbrother Page 21