She giggled. “Well, that’s the thing. If I did have a diary, I would be writing about things that I didn’t want anyone else to read about. I’d be so nervous that someone found it. No thank you. I’d rather keep all my dirty thoughts to myself.”
“You have dirty thoughts about me?”
“I didn’t say they were about you.”
I put a hand to my heart. “Ah, Em. You cut me deep.”
She chuckled. “They’re about Patriot.”
I laughed. “Oh yeah? Man, I wish you had a diary now.”
“You see! I’d have to keep it away from prying eyes.”
“So, tell me what exactly you’d write about. Give me a little hint.”
“Hmm . . . let’s see,” she said. “Dear Diary. I’m hungry. The end.”
“Giving me nothing, are you?”
“Maybe later . . . .”
I smiled at her and was just about to say something else when my phone rang. I took it out and saw it was Brady. I groaned. “Brady,” I said to her. “I hope he’s not going to ask me why I’m not there helping him.”
I stood up and walked to the other side of the room. For some reason, I could never just sit and talk on the phone. I always paced.
“Hey, Shotgun,” I said. I saw Emily smile at the name.
“Yo, Patriot. Sorry for bothering you. I’m assuming you’re at Emily’s now?”
“Yeah, I decided to just come straight here. We’re about to have dinner. What’s up? Anything wrong?”
“Well, I just got home, and I saw some man snooping around at Emily’s old house.”
“What do you mean?” I said and shot Emily a look. She was working on the food and didn’t seem to notice me talking at all.
“I don’t know. I didn’t recognize him from this far. I was thinking that maybe it’s someone else that wants to put an offer on the house. But I’m not sure. There was something about the way he was looking around that made me uncomfortable.”
“Really? What do you think he was doing?”
“I have no idea. But it just made me nervous. I couldn’t stop thinking about the whole arson situation. I don’t know. Maybe just tell Emily to watch her back. Anyway, I just thought I’d let you know.”
“Thanks, man. Hopefully it’s nothing serious.”
I put the phone down and looked at Emily.
“You hope what’s not serious?” she asked.
“That was Brady. He said there was some guy looking around your old house and looking suspicious.”
“Some guy? Who?”
“He didn’t recognize him.”
“That’s weird. Why would he be snooping around my old place? It’s in ruins.”
I shrugged. “I have no idea. Brady just said you must be careful. In case.”
“Be careful of what?”
“Look, Emily, I wanted to talk to you about your old house, anyway. Do you know that there was arson involved?”
“Arson? What are you talking about? Since when?”
“Well, that’s what the chief discovered. I wasn’t sure if you knew about it or not.”
“No. I had no idea. Why would anyone want to do this on purpose? I haven’t done anything to anyone. And how long have you known about this?”
“The chief told us the day after, I think; I can’t remember exactly when.”
“The day after? You mean you’ve known it was arson all this time and you didn’t say anything? Why?”
“Em, I wasn’t sure if you knew or not. And if you didn’t then I didn’t think I should be the one to tell you. I mean, I have no evidence other than what the chief told me.”
“I thought that we had something special going here, Grant.”
“We do. Of course we do.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“Em, back then I hardly knew you. And now there’s been so many other things going on. Don’t think I don’t care for you. I do. It’s because I care for you. I know how upset you’ve been about your dad. I didn’t want to make things worse for you.”
“So you lied to me?”
“Lied to you?” I said. I stood up and looked at her. I’d been nothing but nice to her. “How can you say that? So what now? Are you going to hold this against me? I know you’re not quick to forgive.”
“I’m not quick to forgive? What is that supposed to mean? Is that a dig at my situation with my father?” she asked.
“He made a mistake, Em. I know it’s hard to see, but you should hear him out. Not everyone is as perfect as you.”
“Get out.”
“What? Why? Look, Em, I figured you knew what had happened, anyway. And even if you didn’t, I didn’t think it was my place to tell you. I was trying to protect you. How can you not see that? You mean the world to me.”
“Just go. Please just go.”
Emily was still sitting, and I was standing above her. I could feel my muscles tense the angrier I got, and I knew I was trying to be intimidating. I knew I’d never do anything to hurt her, but at the same time, I couldn’t stop my emotions from pouring out of me. Is this what had happened with my father when he’d hit Brady? The thought sobered me up. For a brief second, I saw how scared she was of me and I backed away.
“Oh, I know that not everything is perfect. Trust me, Grant, I know that more than anyone,” she said. “Now, please leave. I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere by talking anymore.”
“Gladly.”
I walked out of her house and made my way to the car. I had to take several deep breaths to calm myself down before I could drive. I could feel the anger well up inside me. I knew that my temper had gotten the best of me, and it was good that I had left before it got even worse. After everything I had done, she had told me to get out of her house. How dare she? Perhaps Brady had been right all along. Maybe I should never have gotten so close to Emily? I pushed the look of fear she’d had to the back of my head.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Emily
The door slammed behind Grant, and I sat there just staring at the space where he’d once been. It took a while for him to leave and I thought he was going to come back, but then I heard the car start, and I knew that he wasn’t coming back. I had a feeling he wasn’t the sort of guy that came groveling back to someone. I remembered how he’d once told me that before he moved to Buffalo, he used to get on to his bike whenever he got angry. It was something that he’d learned from his brother, Gunner. They’d climb on their bikes and ride around until they had calmed down. But that was the problem with being away from Arizona and away from his bike: there was no bike for him to use as a calming method.
I sat there trembling thinking about how scary Grant could be when he was angry. He had a strength and temper within him that seemed to lie dormant for the most part, until something set him off, of course. But why should he be so mad at me, anyway? I was the one that he’d lied to. Arson? Was he telling the truth? And, if so, what did that mean? Why would anyone want to hurt me? The only reason I stopped thinking about it was because I smelled smoke in the air.
“Shit! Oh no, no, no!” I said as I ran to the kitchen.
I took the pot off the stove and stuck a wooden spoon through the mixture, hoping that I’d only burned the bottom. I took a spoon and scooped some up to taste. I spat it right out.
“Gross!”
I turned off the stove, poured myself a glass of water, and went back to the living room. My dinner was ruined, Grant was mad at me, my father had returned from the dead, and someone out there had wanted revenge on me. When had my life gotten so complicated? I felt the tears spring to my eyes, half from the smoke in the air, and half from being so upset. And I’d been so determined to make the perfect meal for Grant. I was so proud to finally get my gran’s recipe right. And now I’d ruined it all. Just like that. I decided to call Terra. I didn’t want to be alone.
“Terra, can you come over?” I whispered into the phone.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“I just need some company. I need my best friend.”
“I’ll be right there!”
True to her word, Terra arrived only fifteen minutes after I’d put the phone down. I opened the door for her and gave her a hug. It felt so good, and I almost didn’t want to let her go.
“Thanks for coming so quickly,” I said when we eventually pulled apart.
“It’s no problem at all. Hey, what’s that smell? Is something burning?”
I sighed. “I burned my food.”
“Are you trying to burn your house down again?” she said in jest.
“I didn’t burn my house down the first time!” I said.
She looked surprised by my outburst. “Em, I know you didn’t. Listen, what’s going on?” she asked. She spotted Grant’s wine on the table and smiled. “Oh, is this for me? Thanks, Em.”
“Sure,” I said and decided not to tell her it was Grants.
We sat down in the living room together, and I turned to face her.
“Apparently the fire was ruled an arson.”
“Arson? What do you mean? Someone did it on purpose? Are you serious? Who would do such a thing?”
I shook my head. “That’s the thing; I don’t know. It’s so crazy. I don’t think it’s really hit me until now, actually. And if someone did it to me once, what if they want to do it to me again? I don’t think I realized how scary this all was. Someone out there wanted to do me harm and they actually went to all the effort to burn down my house. Did they want me to suffer? Or were they hoping I was inside? What the hell man? These sorts of things usually only happen in the movies. Not in real life. Not in my life!”
“I can’t believe it. That’s crazy, Em. Are you sure? How did you find out?”
“Grant told me. Apparently he’s known for a very long time. The chief told him. You know that guy? He’s really nice. And he’s not a bullshitter. He wouldn’t have told the guys if it wasn’t true.”
“And Grant didn’t tell you?”
“Nope. He didn’t say a thing. The bastard.”
“Uh oh. Are you fighting?”
“Yeah. Of course we’re fighting. I’m so mad at him right now I can barely even talk about him. Or think about him,” I said. That wasn’t entirely true, though. Grant was the biggest thing on my mind at that moment. “I mean, how could he not tell me something like that? He said when he first found out he didn’t really know me that well. He wasn’t sure if I knew or not. Then, when he got to know me, he didn’t want to be the one to tell me. He didn’t want me to be scared or anything. But that makes me so mad. He should’ve told me.”
“Yeah, you’re right. He should’ve. But it sounds to me like he was only trying to protect you. I don’t think he went about it in any sort of malicious way.”
I didn’t expect Terra to take his side. “Well, maybe. But still. And then, we got onto the topic of my father, and he had the audacity to tell me that I should give my father a chance. What does he know about what I’m going through? How can he just tell me what to do with my life? I thought he was supposed to just be there for me? Not tell me what he thinks is right and wrong. He said I can’t handle anything that’s not perfect, and that I need to realize that life is not perfect. He said my dad made a mistake and that I should at least hear him out.”
“Ooh, heavy talk. And what did you say to him?”
“Well, I told him to get out the house. I couldn’t stand to look at him anymore.”
“He was here?”
“Yeah, he came for dinner. Which, as you can tell, didn’t quite go as planned. The damn food burned, and I was making one of my gran’s meals. Remember the one I messed up the last time? And it was going so well until we started fighting and I asked him to leave. Then I smelled smoke and ruined the whole pot.”
She looked at her glass of wine and back up at me. “This was his glass, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, it was. He didn’t stay very long. Sorry about that. But it’s yours now.”
“Em, I’m so sorry to hear about all of this. I really am. I’m glad you called and you know I’ll always be there for you.”
“It sounds to me like there’s a big ‘but’ coming.”
She sighed. “But, I sort of agree with Grant.”
“You agree with him? You’re supposed to only agree with me!”
“I know. And I love you with all my heart, Em. I’m sure he thought it wasn’t his place to really tell you something like that. Or else he probably figured you already knew. Back then you hardly knew each other, anyway. Looks, I know it’s shitty, but he told you now, and that’s got to mean something, doesn’t it? And the whole thing with your father, well, yeah I agree that he’s a shitty man who did a shitty thing. And you don’t have to forgive him. You don’t. But if you really want closure, then you should hear him out. He’s a man that made the worst mistake of his life, and now he’s trying to make things right. You can’t fault him for that at least.”
I stared at her. She wasn’t supposed to say all that. She was supposed to be angry with Grant, and to tell me that I should have nothing to do with my father. She was supposed to tell me that I was the one in the right. Why had I asked her to come over in the first place? Did I have nobody left in the world that was actually on my side anymore?
“You have every right to be angry at everyone right now, Em. But just know that we’re all here to love and support you. You need to know that,” Terra added when I still hadn’t said anything.
I sighed. “Thanks, Terra. I guess I just want everyone to agree with me. But I know that’s not how life works. Maybe I do just want everything to go my way all the time. I don’t know. It’s just been a tough few months, that’s all.”
Terra took my hand and squeezed it. “I know it has. Look, why don’t we watch a movie tonight? I’ll order takeout, and we can polish off this bottle of wine. That way you can have a night off from thinking.”
“That is exactly what I need right now. Thank you!” I said and smiled gratefully at her.
We watched two movies, ate pizza, drank wine, and did no talking. And even though my mind kept wandering to Grant, the fire, and my father, I kept pushing it away to concentrate on the movie. Both movies were stupid comedies, and the more wine we drank, the funnier we found them. When it was time for Terra to go, I hugged her tightly.
“Thanks for always being there for me.”
“I’ll always be here for you, Em. And . . . so is Grant. He’s not a bad guy.”
Later that night, I lay in bed thinking about Grant. It was easy for Terra to say that he was a nice guy, but she hadn’t seen how angry he’d gotten at me. How scary he had looked towering over me. She hadn’t seen how quickly his temper had flared up. And yet, despite all of this, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Because, even though I knew he had a temper to him, he barely showed it. For the most part, he was the kindest and most loving man I’d ever met. I remembered what he’d said about his father—how he needed a good reason to get angry. Perhaps it was because he cared for me so much. On the other hand, perhaps it was because he didn’t care at all.
I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I was exhausted, but no matter how tired my body was, my mind was wide awake. I tried everything to fall asleep, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Grant. A few months ago I didn’t even know he existed, and now I was unable to sleep because of him. Why did I care so much?
For the next hour, I struggled to fall asleep. Until finally, sleep found me. But even then, as I closed my eyes and drifted off, his handsome face flashed before me.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Grant
I didn’t sleep much the night before. I’d also gone to bed without having anything to eat, so when I woke up, I was starving. I went downstairs and decided to make myself a big breakfast of bacon and eggs. I made double the amount for when Brady woke up. I was almost finished with it when I saw him walking down the stairs.
“Oh wow, this is a nice surprise. Smells amazing
in here. You’re up early.”
“Yep. I was starving. I made for both of us. It’s almost ready. Want to make the coffee?”
“Sure.”
“Oh, and I’ll be joining you on the ranch today.”
“You will? That’s great news. I didn’t think you’d be helping me out so much. It’s great. Well, for me at least.”
“It’s good for me too. Like I said, I get the best of both worlds. And I wouldn’t mind some hard work today,” I said and plated the food. I took it over to the table and handed one to him.
“Thanks, man; this is great. So, you feel like hard work? Which, considering I’m a Maxwell brother myself, I assume means that you want something to help you forget about whatever is going on in your head? That’s what I do when I don’t want to think. I work.”
I looked at him and laughed. “Shotgun, sometimes you know me a bit too well. Yeah, that’s exactly it. I want to work without thinking.”
“Mind if I ask you what it is that inspired this sudden surge of work ethic?”
I sighed heavily as I buttered my toast. “That’s sort of going against what I wanted, but it’s okay.”
“Dude, you don’t have to talk if you don’t to. I’m just being curious, that’s all.”
“I know. It’s okay. The thing is, I had an argument with Emily last night. A bad one. And I lost my temper. I mean, I guess in some ways I had a right to be angry, but I didn’t have to be that angry, if you know what I mean.”
“What was the argument about?”
“I told her about that guy that you saw snooping around her old house. I told about the arson, and then she got so mad because I had never told her before. But I didn’t even know her then. It wasn’t exactly my place to tell her. And yeah, maybe I should’ve mentioned it before, but there’s been so many other things going on. And just because I was told by the chief doesn’t mean it’s real. I shouldn’t be the one that told her that, anyway. But she was so angry with me.”
“Nah, you were in the right there, Patriot.”
I nodded. “Thanks, man, I think so too. Then the argument turned to the whole situation with her father. Which has nothing to do with anything, but I guess it’s just on both of our minds. He did something terrible, but she should at least hear him out. He might have changed. This might be the biggest regret of his life, and maybe he’s just trying to change things around. I’m sure that trying to find Emily was a massive step in that direction. I just want her to give him a chance.”
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