He laughed. “I can’t believe we had sex in the barn.”
“Don’t tell me you’ve never had sex here before. I won’t believe you.”
“It’s true,” he said. “I’ve honestly never had sex in this barn before. Or any barn, for that matter. I’m never going to see this place in the same light again.”
He stood up and helped me to my feet. We both searched for our clothes, which we’d somehow managed to fling all over the place. I finally found everything and put it on, and then when I looked to the corner of the room, I burst out laughing.
“Uh, I forgot we had company.”
“What? Where? Who?” Brady said and looked around in panic.
I chuckled. “Betty. Oh dear, I feel so ashamed that she just saw us doing that. I’m sorry, Betty. Poor thing.”
He laughed. “We’ve scarred her for life. Hey, have you seen my sock anywhere?”
“Just the one?”
“Just the one. I found the other. Oh no, there it is . . .”
“Where?” I asked and looked at the direction he was gazing.
“It landed on Betty’s back.”
I giggled as I watched Brady walk over to the horse to get his sock. She didn’t even seem to notice.
“Oh no! I’m sorry, Betty.”
“Come on, let’s get out of here. The horses need to recover after what just happened.”
“Where are we going?” I asked.
He raised his eyebrows. “Uh, I seem to recall owning you a steak on my outdoor grill.”
“Oh yeah, how could I forget? Come on; I’m starving. Oh no! I just remembered we have to walk all the way back. I’m really working for this food today,” I said.
“Extra bread rolls for you, then.”
I smiled. I remembered the salad that I had shared with Victoria only a few days ago, and the look she’d given me when I’d suggested getting the sandwich. Not only was I going to eat the bread roll today, but I was going to enjoy it without even an ounce of guilt.
After a long walk, a shower, and then a grilled steak outside, I felt exhausted. Brady caught me yawning and grinned at me.
“Horse riding and walking is exhausting work,” he said.
“Nah, I don’t think that was what tired me out.”
He chuckled. “That’s true. Come on, let’s go to bed.”
When we got to his bedroom, I pulled out his t-shirt from my bag and showed it to him. “Look what made its way with me all the way to New York.”
“My t-shirt? How did that get in your bag?”
She shrugged. “I actually have no idea. But . . . oh, never mind,” I said, suddenly feeling shy.
“What?” he asked. “Sloan, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just . . . well, I don’t want this to come across as weird or anything. But I slept in your shirt when I was back home. It made me feel safe for some reason. I hope you don’t mind. Anyway, I brought it back for you.” My face was flushed with embarrassment. I could not believe that I’d actually said those words to him out loud. But when I looked up, I saw that he was smiling at me.
“That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me. And please don’t give it back to me. It’s yours. Will you wear it tonight?”
I pulled off my clothes and put his t-shirt on. “How does it look?” I said as I twirled around.
“It looks so much better on you than it ever did on me.”
I crawled into bed beside him and felt his warm body against mine. It had been nice wearing his t-shirt at night, but it was far better having him next to me. He switched the light off and kissed me goodnight.
“Brady . . . .” I said after a few minutes.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for not asking me about what’s going on, and for just being there for me.”
“I’ll always be there for you, Sloan.”
I smiled in the dark as I felt his hands reach out to squeeze mine.
“I promise to tell you everything soon. I just didn’t want to think about it today. I wanted nothing more than a full day of just being with you. A problem free day.”
“Did you get that?”
“Oh, I got more than that. Today was perfect.”
“I’m glad. I want you to have fewer problem days and more perfect days.”
“I’ll try. Goodnight, Brady.”
“Goodnight, Sloan.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Brady
I woke up with Sloan lying in my arms. She was still fast asleep, and I could feel the rise and fall of her chest as she slept. She looked so peaceful, and I wondered why she was here. I was curious, but at the same time, I knew I didn’t really care why. She was here, and that was all that mattered. I’d been a loner for most of my life, and I assumed that I would always be a loner. The fact that some woman had managed to find her way into my heart, still surprised me. Especially since that woman was a famous actress from New York with a very different background from my own. I knew that she wasn’t going to be here forever. Soon, I’d go back to being a loner. But it was nice having her around for now. And the fact that she had chosen to come and see me when she could’ve gone anywhere in the world made me happy.
I felt her stir, and when she turned around, she smiled at me.
“Morning, sleepyhead,” I whispered.
“Morning, cowboy.”
“Sleep well?”
She nodded. “I did.”
“Good. Take your time getting up. I’m going down to make up some breakfast.”
“Thank you,” she said, and I could see she was still half asleep.
I went downstairs and started the breakfast. I decided to make her bacon and eggs, as I’d received a fresh batch of eggs the previous morning. I toasted some farm bread and got the coffee ready.
“Oh, this smells incredible,” she said as she walked into the room.
I grinned at the sight of her. She was still wearing my t-shirt, and she’d put on a pair of socks. She looked incredibly cute, and I liked that she hadn’t rushed to put on makeup or get dressed. That was the Sloan from before. This Sloan trusted me enough to be herself.
“That t-shirt really suits you,” I said.
She tugged at it slightly and smiled. “It’s so comfortable.”
I placed all the food on the table, and we both sat down to eat.
“This is delicious, Brady,” she said as she took a bite of the buttered toast.
“I’m glad you like it. Nothing more important than a hearty breakfast.”
She grinned. “And nothing quite like farm bread. You know, when I was in New York I tried to order a sandwich from the café. I was with my friend for lunch, and she looked at me as if I’d gone crazy.”
“For ordering a sandwich? What’s wrong with that?”
“Carbs, darling,” she drawled in a posh New York accent.
I rolled my eyes. “Seriously?”
“Oh yeah. Apparently, I’d be the talk of the town for eating bread. In the end, I just ordered a salad to keep the peace.”
I shook my head. That was a life that I just couldn’t understand. I don’t think I would ever understand it. “That’s very sad.”
“Yeah,” she said sadly. I could see that there was something on her mind, but she still wasn’t saying anything.
“Unfortunately, I have to go to work today,” I said to Sloan. “I would love nothing more than to spend the day with you, but I feel bad leaving Harold in the lurch. And the other guys that work there are all so unreliable. I hope you don’t mind.”
She smiled. “I love Harold. Of course I don’t mind.”
“Unless you want to come with? I don’t mind if you join. Even though you will be a rather big distraction for me,” I said as I remembered the time in the barn the day before.
“Nah, I better not. Poor Betty has seen enough. Honestly, I’ll be fine. You go to work. I’m quite okay with just staying here. I wouldn’t mind a day of doing nothing for a change.”
“You s
ure?”
“I’m sure,” she said.
After breakfast, I made my way to the ranch and found Harold walking around.
“Sorry I’m a little later than usual,” I said when I got to him.
He laughed. “You’re still earlier than everyone else. Honestly, it’s not a big deal. So, how’s Sloan?”
“She’s okay. She speaks so highly of you, by the way.”
“She’s a lovely girl.”
I smiled. “Yeah, she is. Anyway, thanks for the day off yesterday. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem at all. Why don’t you take the week off, Brady? I’m sure you want to spend some time with her, and I don’t mind. It’s just one week.”
“Thanks, Harold. I appreciate the offer. But I know that there is a lot of work to be done here, and if I take the week off, then I’m only going to make things worse for me next week. Anyway, I think that she’ll be fine at the house. I think she just wants a bit of time to herself. I invited her to the ranch, but she wanted some alone time.”
“Okay, sure. I understand. But the offer still stands if you need it.”
“Thank you.”
“Is everything okay, Brady?”
I shrugged. I had no idea what was going on. “I don’t know.”
He nodded. If there was one person that understood me, it was Harold. He wasn’t the kind of guy to push for details, either. “Okay. Well, you look after her. And look after yourself.”
“I will.”
“And go home a little earlier at least today.”
“Yeah, I’ll do that.”
I set out to work and tried not to think about Sloan sitting all day in my house. I wondered what she was doing all day. It was strange to think of her there and to know that I would be going home to see her again. I kept picturing her sitting outside on the balcony looking out onto the field and drinking coffee. I desperately tried not to think about her, but it wasn’t easy. Especially when I found myself in the barn. I kept looking at the floor to where we’d had sex, and the images kept flashing through my mind. I looked at Betty and shook my head.
“She’s a difficult one to stop thinking about, Betty. What am I going to do?”
I was cleaning the horses when my phone rang. I rummaged through my pocket to get it. I thought it might be Sloan in trouble, but I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that it was just Ryan.
“Oh hey, Ryan. What’s up? Phoning because you miss me so much?” I said.
He laughed. “Yeah, it’s very difficult for me here. Every day I wake up and wonder how I’m going to get through the day without you. It’s the first thought that I have in the morning and the last thought that I have at night.”
“I don’t doubt it. So, no training today?” I asked.
“Are you kidding? There’s training almost every day. I’m leaving in half an hour for a big training session. We have one of the top guys coming for our lesson today. It took a long time to schedule an appointment with him, but it’s finally here. I’m a little nervous, but at the same time I’m looking forward to it.”
“I will never understand how you can look forward to getting thrown around.”
He laughed. “I know, I can totally understand why people find it so strange, but it’s a very addictive thing, strangely enough. I can’t get enough of it. I’m sure that even when I’m too old to be an MMA fighter that I’ll still be involved in it somehow.”
“Yeah, I don’t doubt it. It’s your life now. I can’t even hear the words MMA fighting and not think of you. Oh, I saw that video of myself being thrown off that bull. It was so strange watching it and knowing that I went through that. It looked rough.”
He chuckled. “I’ve watched that video so many times. Have you been on the bull again since then?”
“I haven’t. But it won’t stop me from going on him again.”
“Yeah, you’re not a quitter. Hey, so seeing as though you were on the internet, you must’ve seen everything that they’ve been saying about Sloan. I mean—”
“No,” I said and stopped him before he could say anything more. “I haven’t seen anything. I didn’t look anything up, and I haven’t listened to what other people have been saying. Honestly, I don’t want to know.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really. It’s her life. Not mine.”
“Okay, I guess you’re right. It’s probably better not to know, anyway. But just be careful if you ever see her again, okay?”
“Of course I will. You know me, I’m always careful.”
I decided not to tell Ryan that Sloan was staying with me. Nobody needed to know that. Right now, she needed as much time away from the world as possible.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Sloan
Once Brady left for work, I spent the day relaxing at his house. It felt strange not having something to do. I kept eyeing his old laptop and wondering if I should look to see what people were saying about me, but didn’t have the strength. Also, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to know. Sometimes it was simply better not knowing at all. Life was easy when you walked around in a happy bliss. Ever since being with Brady, I’d felt as if had taken some of those happy pills he was on when falling off the bull. But I felt more like someone whose happy pills were wearing off, because every now and again the sadness would creep in.
When Brady was gone, I spent a lot of time just walking around the house, wondering what to do with myself. I made a cup of coffee and sat outside, just looking out at the view. The view from my apartment in New York truly was spectacular, but it had nothing on the view at his house. I’d always thought of myself as a city girl, but now I wasn’t so sure. There was something about a view that seemed to go on forever that made me feel like I could breathe again. I could just about make out the ranch in the distance, and I wondered what Brady was up to. I could picture him working hard, the sweat pouring down his face. Harold was lucky to have someone like Brady working on the farm. It wasn’t easy being an actress, but it was nothing like the kind of work that Brady did. And yet, despite the hours that he put in, I knew that he would never be able to afford an apartment in New York. He didn’t earn much compared to me. Nobody in this small farming town earned all that much. And yet, I couldn’t help think that they were the happiest people that I’d ever met.
Every now and again I would think about what was going on in my life. How did an actress with a big loft apartment and almost too much money in the bank feel so comfortable in a place like Wyoming? I was starting to reconsider who I was as a person. My life had changed so much since I’d become an actress, and I thought that it was what I wanted. I’d fought hard to be that person. I had changed so much about myself in order to fit in with the right crowd. And I’d done well—I’d fooled them all. But was all that money really worth it? Never before had I felt so much pressure from the world around me to be someone I was not.
I stood up and stretched and made my way back inside the house. I wondered if perhaps I should clean up, but the house was actually pretty clean already. Brady was not a messy guy, and he didn’t have much stuff to mess up, anyway. His house had everything he needed, but nothing more. He was definitely not a materialistic man. I walked around, looking at everything in the house. I saw a bookshelf and ran my fingers along the spines. I used to be a big reader, but I hadn’t made much time to read over the last few years. I decided to look for a book to read from his collection, but when I kneeled down to look at the books on the bottom shelf, I found a photo album instead. I pulled it out and made my way over to the sofa to look through it. I looked around with a feeling of guilt and hoped that Brady wouldn’t mind me looking through it. Most of all, I hoped he wouldn’t come home and see me snooping. It took me a while to actually look in the album. I put in on my lap and looked at its cover. Then I got up and walked around, trying to ignore it. Brady was such a closed-up man that I figured he hadn’t shown me the album for a reason. And yet, I couldn’t help but want to know more.
&nbs
p; I opened the album. On the first page was a handwritten note.
Dear Brady,
I want you to know how much I love you. Let me start off by saying that. I’m sure you know how much I love you. I certainly haven’t made it a secret. I’m sure you’re sick and tired of me telling you. But I will never stop telling you while I’m alive. As you know, I’m very sick, and I probably won’t be there to see you grow up into the beautiful man I know you will be. I’m just glad that I got to meet you, and love you, even if the time wasn’t as long as I wanted it to be. You need to know how proud I am of you, and how supportive I am of everything that you will one day do. I have a lot of faith in who you are. I wanted to make you this album so that you would know how much I love you. You and your brothers mean the world to me. You mean the world to us. Your father loves you dearly, too. I’ve started this album, but I want you to add to it as you get older. And whenever you’re feeling sad, I want you to look through this and remember that you have a family that loves you.
I love you.
Mom.
I felt the tears streaming down my face. I knew that Brady’s mother wasn’t around anymore, but I didn’t know anything about her. She sounded lovely. How sad it must’ve been to know that you weren’t going to be around to see your children grow. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard that must’ve been for her. The letter was so personal that I immediately felt closer to Brady than I did before. I wondered how many times he had read through the letter over the years. Did he read it when he needed to feel her support again? Or did he leave the album on the shelf and never open it simply because it was too hard. I tried to imagine what I would’ve done in that situation, but I wasn’t sure.
I started paging through the album. His mother was beautiful. She was tall, and slim, with long black hair that curled ever so slightly at the end. But it wasn’t her hair, her body, or even her incredible dress sense that made me like her from the photos. It was her smile. Brady’s mother had the most beautiful smile that I’d ever seen. A kind smile. Brady’s smile. I felt sad that I never got a chance to meet her. Would she have liked me? Would she still be proud of her son for being with a woman like me? Or would she tell him that he deserved better?
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