“Not even close, Savannah. You left me. I looked all over that damn hell hole, and you weren’t there. I waited for over an hour for you to come back!”
Now, she did raise her head, but only to glare at him. “No you didn’t. I saw you leave. You went out the cave entrance. I watched you, and I ran up and you were gone. You left me.”
Sawyer’s eyes closed. He looked ragged and he was dirty and exhausted and bloody. When his eyes opened, they were full of pain. “No, baby. I didn’t leave you. I was looking for you. I came back in.”
“You—you did?” Her teeth had started to chatter and tears, unbidden, escaped from her eyes. “You didn’t—didn’t leave me?”
“Savannah, I would never leave you. Ever. I’d sooner tear my heart from my chest.”
She smiled, but she was so tired. And so cold. “I’m sorry. I thought… I thought you didn’t… didn’t want me and—”
Sawyer shook his head. “It’s not possible, Savannah.”
When her eyes fluttered shut, against her will, he said, “Don’t worry about it right now. We’ll get it all straightened out after we get you warm.”
“I don’t have a key,” she mumbled, laying her head on her knees. So tired. So cold.
“And the front desk wouldn’t let you in?” He dug his key out of his pocket and scooped her up, cradling her tight against his chest, and she was grateful that there was no rushing river or crumbling staircases under his feet this time. Maneuvering his hand so he could just get the key in the slot didn’t seem to be physically possible.
“Oh,” she said sleepily. “I didn’t think of that.”
This information seemed to alarm him for some reason, and he jammed the key in the slot with some superhuman skill that he apparently hadn’t had two seconds earlier, and wrangled the door open. The elevator, luckily, was right there waiting. “Savvy? Baby?”
“I’m alive,” she said, her mouth moving against his collarbone. He sucked in a breath, his arms tightening around her.
“Dammit, Savvy.”
She smiled, letting her eyes close while he muttered about hypothermia symptoms and concussion effects and how he should have paid more attention in high school. This continued until he laid her on his bed like she might break. She forced her eyes open, but everyone was gone.
“They’re probably looking for us,” she said. “We should probably alert them to our return.” And then she giggled.
He stared at her, seemingly at a complete loss for words before he dug Aaron’s phone out of his pocket, “I’ll send Laura a text,” he said, mostly to himself.
“Oh good. I wondered where I dropped that.”
“In the hut,” he said, distracted.
She curled in a ball and closed her eyes. Sleep. She needed sleep. And maybe food, but sleep first. No, warmth. She needed warmth, and then sleep, and then food…
“Savvy? You need to get in the shower. We need to warm you up.”
She didn’t even attempt to move her head or open her eyes. “I’m not getting in the shower with you.”
****
SAWYER RESISTED THE URGE to growl or tear at his hair in frustration. There were ten thousand things he needed to do now that she was safe. Letting his parents and the coach know were at the top. Eating and sleeping were right there close. But none of that mattered until he knew Savannah would be okay. He started the shower, scooped her up again, and deposited her in the bathroom. “I won’t look, I promise. But I’m staying in the bathroom in case you need me.”
She eyed him suspiciously before nodding, too tired to argue. “Don’t. Peek.”
“I’ll brush my teeth. Will that help?”
“That will help immensely. I want to do that, too.” She shoved him out, and he dug through his bag, found his toothbrush and was back just as she mumbled something about it being safe to come in.
Sawyer was suddenly faced with the most exquisite torture he’d ever been subjected to before. She was there, within arms’ reach, with only the water covering her beautiful body. His mouth went dry and he fought hard to swallow. Teeth. Must. Brush. Teeth. With herculean effort, he managed to turn his back on her, and kept his eyes squeezed shut tight while he tried to scrub two days’ worth of grime off his teeth.
“Sawyer? I’m too tired. Can I be done now?” Her teeth were chattering again.
“Yes. Of course. Hang on.” He grabbed a towel, and keeping his eyes firmly on the wall above her head, held open his arms. She collapsed into them, and he wrapped her tight, but he could feel every soft curve, her breath on his neck, the way she fit perfectly against him. “If you weren’t on the verge of death right now…”
“I’m not the only one, Sawyer. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
He grinned, because she was so damn adorable it made his heart hurt. “You can wear my flannel shirt. It’s warm.”
She nodded, and he fled the bathroom, breathing in huge lungfuls of hotel room air, trying to clear his head. He’d never wanted someone so much in his life. With shaking hands, he passed her his shirt, breathing a sigh of relief that she was out of the towel.
Until she stumbled out. His shirt only came to mid-thigh at its lowest point, and higher on both sides. Her hair was a tangled mass of dark waves, and her eyes were huge pools in her pale face. He’d never, in all his life, seen anything so beautiful. For several long seconds, he just stared at her, unable to think or move or even breathe.
“Go take a shower. I almost feel human again,” she said, tugging the shirt down.
“Yeah. Right. Of course.” A cold shower. He needed a cold shower.
But first, he tucked her in, turned the heat on full blast, and stole the blankets from the other bed and buried her underneath them. He shoved a protein bar in her hand and instructed her to eat and dropped a water bottle on the nightstand. Then he took the fastest shower of his life, imagining all sorts of horrible things happening to her while he wasn’t there to protect her. He couldn’t get out of the water fast enough.
The hotel room was still empty, and he could barely see straight he was so tired. He thought of sleeping in the other bed, which was the smart, responsible thing to do. While he ate his protein bar, he fought a mighty internal struggle — sleep on the other bed like a gentleman and keep his hands off her, or sleep with her and promise himself that nothing would happen. Every cell, every fiber, every molecule in him screamed at the thought of being away from her, even if it was only in the next bed. The insane thought of taking her back to her room was quickly dismissed. The other bed, then.
Except he could hear her teeth chattering, and she was shivering so hard the entire bed shook. She needed his warmth, and he jumped at the chance to help her. He pulled on his basketball shorts, shaking his head at how weak he’d become with her after such a short time. It was a battle he lost with himself. As he sank into bed next to her, he thought maybe losing wasn’t so bad, especially when she sighed and wriggled backward, fitting herself against him, her silky legs tangling with his.
Damn.
But she was still shivering, her teeth still chattering, so he wrapped his arms around her, tucking her head under his chin. She whimpered his name once, and then slowly, the tremors subsided and her breathing deepened.
Despite his every effort not to, as soon as he knew she was safe in his arms, he fell asleep.
****
SAVANNAH WAS WARM. And safe. She could feel Sawyer’s arm around her, clutching her against his chest. She knew he was asleep, but his grip didn’t relax. Every so often, she would hear him murmur her name and his grip would tighten. As she dozed in and out of a painful sleep, her mind came to a conclusion.
She would make him love her, Beckett or no Beckett.
Once that decision was made, her mind finally let her go to sleep.
Savannah heard the yelling for several seconds before she could drag herself out of the deep sleep she’d been lost in.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Sawyer? Get your ass
out of bed!”
Beckett. That was Beckett yelling.
Savannah sat up so fast her head spun, and she moaned, holding her hand to her temple.
“Beckett, listen. Just—” Sawyer was on his feet, ragged, haggard, exhausted, but calm.
Reasonable. Always reasonable.
“Shut up, Sawyer. I thought you were my friend. Turns out you’re screwing the girl I’ve been in love with for four damn years while I’m out looking for you. I was worried about you two! I didn’t sleep at all last night and you’re here, doing this—”
“Beckett, that isn’t what happened. If you will just listen—” Sawyer insisted again, edging between Beckett and Savannah. Protecting her.
All she wanted to do, though, was run. Panic tried to swallow her whole as she fought to find a way through the confrontation and out the door without being stopped. Her hands clenched and unclenched as a cold sweat formed on her skin. She started to shake.
Beckett was still yelling at Sawyer. By now, Caleb and Aaron and Liam were there, trying to calm him down, trying to find out what happened. But all Savannah could see was that they were between her and the door.
Run. Run. Run. Run. Run.
“Beckett, she was cold. I’m pretty sure she had hypothermia—”
“Don’t give me that shit. If she was cold, why the hell didn’t she get some clothes on? She looks like a damn prostitute!”
Savannah’s head jerked up as embarrassed tears formed behind her eyelids. This was Beckett’s trick, the way he won every fight. He belittled her and when that didn’t work, he attacked directly.
Sawyer shoved Beckett away from her.”Don’t, Beck. Or you. Will. Regret. It.”
“It’s not like he keeps women’s clothing in his bag, Beckett. What was she supposed to wear?” Liam asked, also blocking Savannah from Beckett’s view.
“Then you should have taken her home! It’s like forty steps to her room, Sawyer!”
“I couldn’t take her home!” Sawyer started to raise his voice, and then fought to bring it back down. “There was no one there, Beckett. She was hurt and she was freezing. I took care of her.”
“Yeah, I’ll bet you did. You’re my best friend, Sawyer. Was it fun, playing house in that big old mansion all night long? Was she good for you, Sawyer? Because remember this, next time you’re screwing my girlfriend. Everything she’s doing with you, I taught her.”
Sawyer’s hand clenched into a fist. Liam pushed him back, situating himself firmly between them. “Beckett, they were stranded because of the storm—”
Beckett ignored Liam, instead leaning around so he could yell directly at Sawyer. “Yeah, you had no problem going after her, did you? The mighty Sawyer to the rescue!”
“You wouldn’t go, you asshole! Both times she’s been in trouble, you sat on your butt and did nothing.” Sawyer was quickly losing his grip on calm and collected.
“Because she deserved what she got. If she’s stupid enough to go running off alone, then let her figure her way out of it. It makes her strong.”
“Dude, that’s cold,” Liam said, shaking his head. “Stop being such a jerk and listen to Sawyer. He’s never touched her.”
“Never touched her? What about every time I turn around? Every time I blink, your hands are on her. She’s mine, Sawyer! Not yours!” Beckett dodged around Liam, and without warning, he swung. Savannah screeched, Sawyer ducked, and Beckett missed completely, whirling himself into a heap on the floor. “Oh, is that funny, Savannah? How was he? Was he good? Did you think of me while he was—”
“Shut. Up. Beckett.” She was as surprised by her own voice as any of them. The door was front and center, but instead of running, she swung around, stalking into the room as he struggled to his feet. “It’s not Sawyer’s fault you’re out a girlfriend, you stupid jerk. I dumped you on your ass because you treated me like crap. I kept you as a friend because I felt bad for you, but you know what, I should have felt bad for me — for having to put up with you for two years. Sawyer. Is. Not. The. Problem. You are.” She turned around attempting to storm away. She made it halfway to the door before he stupidly opened his mouth.
“You’ll pay for this, Sawyer. I’m gonna ruin your life—”
Savannah had never hit someone before in her life. But her fist found its way to his jaw and she didn’t even feel the pain of connection, only satisfaction as he tumbled backward, stunned. He crashed into the TV stand and fell to the floor. “We are done, Beckett.”
She stood, chest heaving, slightly lightheaded and starving, staring at Sawyer. She waited for him to do something, say something — anything, but he only stared back, eyes tortured.
Beckett means more to him than I do.
“Okay.” She nodded, fighting tears, and backed out of the room. “Okay. I got it. I’m done.”
CHAPTER TEN
“SAVANNAH! WE’VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE for you!” Coach Andrus caught her as Savannah attempted to race by, crushing her in a terrified hug. “Your parents are worried sick. We have the local police department looking everywhere for you!”
“I’m—I’m sorry, coach. I went to this old mansion to explore. I—I thought the storm wouldn’t be that bad but I got caught there and it started to collapse—”
“I know, honey, I know. We saw it. Nearly scared me to death. I might have had a heart attack right there if Dara hadn’t come busting out of the forest telling me you were here.” Coach shook her head, her hands shaking. “How would we have won the four by four without you?”
Savannah smiled, felt it split her lip, and tasted blood. And none of it came even close to her torn heart.
Andrus pulled her back so she could get a good look at her. “Oh. Oh my. We need to get you to a hospital.”
Savannah shook her head, humiliated when her eyes filled with tears. “I’m okay, Coach. Really.”
Suddenly, she was tackled and crushed — Laura and Kelly had found her. “If you ever, ever think about doing something that stupid again, I will kill you. You know that, right?” Kelly yelled.
“Yes,” was all Laura said, but they were both crying.
“Grab some clothes, Savvy. We’re taking you to the hospital.” When Savannah opened her mouth to argue, because she wanted her bed and food and darkness where no one could see her cry, Coach Andrus raised her hand, giving Savannah her fiercest look. “No argument. Go.”
Laura and Kelly practically carried her down the hall to their room. They threw clothes at her while Dara watched with interest. “We all know what happened. Between you and Sawyer.”
Savannah looked up, fury fighting with exhaustion for space in her brain. But Laura beat her to it. “Does she look like someone who spent a romantic evening in the woods, you idiot?”
Dara opened her mouth, then closed it. Laura raised her hand and Kelly met her halfway.
“Now you, come,” Kelly said, pushing Savannah out the door.
“I’m calling your parents.” Laura already had the phone to her ear. Savannah looked from one to the other, and her broken heart healed, just a little.
****
SAWYER STARED at the door she’d disappeared out of. He’d hurt before, but nothing like this. The finality in her voice, the hope turned to so much pain in those dark brown eyes. It really was over. He’d lost anything he’d ever had with her.
“You won’t even be able to be friends after this,” Liam said, somewhat unhelpfully.
Sawyer sank on the bed and buried his head in his hands. His heart hurt too much to speak, and he’d probably choke on that sentence, anyway.
He’d lost her.
He’d had her, and he let her go.
That hurt worse than never having her at all.
Beckett sat up. “You’re the worst friend in the world, Sawyer,” he muttered, rubbing his jaw.
Sawyer sat up, glaring at him. “I’m the worst friend? You just insulted Savannah like fifteen times.”
Beckett frowned. “What’s that got to do with you?”
“Nothing! But it makes you an ass, don’t you think? So maybe when they’re handing out the worst friend awards, you think about how you just treated her. Your friend.”
Beckett blinked stupidly, so Sawyer went back to holding his head in his hands, trying to memorize every single detail of their horrific night together. So he would never forget. So he would always have it, when he couldn’t have her.
Her touch. Her smile. The silken black waves and the soft skin. She’d been so brave. So tough. He’d run from the crypt like a screaming little girl, and she’d gone on to explore more of the cave. She’d been the one to figure out how to get the door open. She’d been the one to find the door in the first place. He wouldn’t have survived that night if not for her.
And now he wasn’t sure he wanted to survive without her.
“Dude, look. I wasn’t–I wasn’t in my right mind.”
“Ya think?” Sawyer snarled.
“I’m just–I’m just crazy about her, you know? And we were all so worried…”
Sawyer didn’t look up. “Great, Beck. That was swell of you.”
Beckett sat on the bed next to him. “I’m sorry. I really am.” He forced a laugh. “It took her knocking my head off to come to my senses.”
“Go to hell, Beckett.”
Beckett sighed, falling back on the bed. “What do you want me to say, Sawyer? This is our thing. I get mad and lose my mind, and you keep your cool and we work things out. It’s just what we do.”
Sawyer jerked up, on his feet, yelling. “What we do just cost me the only girl I have ever been in love with. For you. I gave her up for you! And you’re a crappy friend!”
Beckett’s jaw dropped as he sat up. “You’re in love with her?”
“Hell yes I’m in love with her. She–she has my soul wrapped around her little finger. I–I don’t even want to breathe if she’s not in the room. How’s that for love?” He laughed harshly. “I didn’t even know I was missing anything until I met her and realized she was my whole damn world. And I couldn’t have her. Know why? Because of you. I stayed away from her for you, and I felt like my heart and soul were burning and I did it for you. And you don’t even deserve her!”
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