THE BAFFLED ASIAN.
THE BAPTISM OF DOBSHO
THE BASKING CYCLONE
THE BELLAMY AND THE MEMBERS
THE BELLY AND THE MEMBERS
THE BLOTTED ESCUTCHEON AND THE SOILED ERMINE
THE BOARDED WINDOW
THE BONELESS KING
THE BOYS AND THE FROGS
THE BROOM OF THE TEMPLE
THE BUBBLE REPUTATION
THE BUFLO
THE BUMBO OF JIAM
THE CAMEL
THE CAPTAIN OF “THE CAMEL”
THE CAT AND THE BIRDS
THE CAT AND THE KING
THE CAT AND THE YOUTH
THE CATTED ANARCHIST
THE CHILD’S PROVIDER.
THE CHRISTIAN SERPENT
THE CIRCULAR CLEW
THE CITIZEN AND THE SNAKES
THE CITY OF POLITICAL DISTINCTION
THE CITY OF THE GONE AWAY
THE CIVIL SERVICE IN FLORIDA.
THE COMPASSIONATE PHYSICIAN
THE CONSCIENTIOUS OFFICIAL
THE COUP DE GRCE
THE CRANE
THE CREW OF THE LIFE-BOAT
THE CRIMSON CANDLE
THE CRITICS
THE DAMNED THING
THE DEATH OF HALPIN FRAYSER
THE DEBATERS
THE DECEASED AND HIS HEIRS
THE DESPERATE OBJECT
THE DEVOTED WIDOW
THE DIFFICULTY OF CROSSING A FIELD
THE DISCOMFITED DEMON.
THE DISCONTENTED MALEFACTOR
THE DISINTERESTED ARBITER
THE DIVIDED DELEGATION
THE DOG AND HIS REFLECTION
THE DOG AND THE PHYSICIAN
THE DOG AND THE REFLECTION
THE DUTIFUL SON
THE EARLY HISTORY OF BATH.
THE ELIGIBLE SON-IN-LAW
THE EXPATRIATED BOSS
THE EYES OF THE PANTHER
THE FABULIST AND THE ANIMALS
THE FAILURE OF HOPE & WANDEL
THE FAITHFUL CASHIER
THE FAMOUS GILSON BEQUEST
THE FARMER AND HIS SONS
THE FARMER AND THE FOX
THE FARMER’S FRIEND
THE FAWN AND THE BUCK
THE FISHER AND THE FISHED
THE FLYING–MACHINE
THE FOGY AND THE SHEIK
THE FOLLOWING DORG.
THE FOOLISH WOMAN
THE FOX AND THE GRAPES
THE FUGITIVE OFFICE
THE GENESIS OF A NATION
THE GLAD NEW YEAR.
THE GOFURIOUS
THE GOOD GOVERNMENT
THE GOOD YOUNG MAN.
THE GOOSE AND THE SWAN
THE GRASSHOPPER AND THE ANT
THE GRATEFUL BEAR.
THE HARDY PATRIOTS
THE HARE AND THE TORTOISE
THE HARE AND THE TORTOISE
THE HARES AND THE FROGS
THE HAUNTED VALLEY
THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY.
THE HEELS OF HER.
THE HEN AND THE VIPERS
THE HERDSMAN AND THE LION
THE HIGHWAYMAN AND THE TRAVELLER
THE HIPPORIPPUS
THE HOLY DEACON
THE HONEST CADI
THE HONEST CITIZEN
THE HONOURABLE MEMBER
THE HUMBLE PEASANT
THE HYPNOTIST
THE INEFFECTIVE ROOTER
THE INGENIOUS BLACKMAILER
THE INGENIOUS PATRIOT
THE ISLE OF PINES
THE JUDGE AND THE PLAINTIFF
THE JUDGE AND THE RASH ACT
THE JUSTICE AND HIS ACCUSER
THE KANGAROO AND THE ZEBRA
THE KITE, THE PIGEONS, AND THE HAWK
THE LASSOED BEAR
THE LATE DOWLING, SENIOR.
THE LEGEND OF IMMORTAL TRUTH.
THE LEGISLATOR AND THE CITIZEN
THE LIFE–SAVERS
THE LION AND THE BOAR
THE LION AND THE BULL
THE LION AND THE MOUSE
THE LION AND THE MOUSE
THE LION AND THE RATTLESNAKE
THE LION AND THE THORN
THE LION, THE BEAR, AND THE FOX
THE LION, THE COCK, AND THE ASS
THE LITERARY ASTRONOMER
THE LITTLE STORY
THE MAGICIAN’S LITTLE JOKE.
THE MAJOR’S TALE
THE MAN AND HIS GOOSE
THE MAN AND THE BIRD
THE MAN AND THE DOG
THE MAN AND THE EAGLE
THE MAN AND THE FISH-HORN
THE MAN AND THE LIGHTNING
THE MAN AND THE SNAKE
THE MAN AND THE VIPER
THE MAN AND THE WART
THE MAN OF PRINCIPLE
THE MAN OUT OF THE NOSE
THE MAN OVERBOARD
THE MAN WITH NO ENEMIES
THE MASSACRE
THE MEMBER AND THE SOAP
THE MIDDLE TOE OF THE RIGHT FOOT
THE MILKMAID AND HER BUCKET
THE MINE OWNER AND THE JACKASS
THE MIRROR
THE MISTAKE OF A LIFE.
THE MOCKING-BIRD
THE MONKEY AND THE NUTS
THE MOONLIT ROAD
THE MORAL PRINCIPLE AND THE MATERIAL INTEREST
THE MORAL SENTIMENT
THE MOUNTAIN AND THE MOUSE
THE MOURNING BROTHERS
THE NEW CHURCH THAT WAS NOT BUILT.
THE NIGHT-DOINGS AT “DEADMAN’S”
THE NIGHTSIDE OF CHARACTER
THE NO CASE
THE NORTH WIND AND THE SUN
THE NOSER AND THE NOTE
THE NUMPORAUCUS
THE OLD MAN AND THE PUPIL
THE OPOSSUM OF THE FUTURE
THE OPTIMIST AND THE CYNIC
THE OPTIMIST, AND WHAT HE DIED OF.
THE ORDEAL
THE OTHER LODGERS
THE OVERLOOKED FACTOR
THE PARTY OVER THERE
THE PATRIOT AND THE BANKER
THE PAVIOR
THE PENITENT ELECTOR
THE PENITENT THIEF
THE PIG
THE PIPING FISHERMAN
THE POET AND THE EDITOR
THE POET’S DOOM
THE POETESS OF REFORM
THE POL PATRIOT
THE POLICEMAN AND THE CITIZEN
THE POLITICIANS
THE POLITICIANS AND THE PLUNDER
THE POWER OF THE SCALAWAG
THE PREROGATIVE OF MIGHT
THE PUGILIST’S DIET
THE RACE AT LEFT BOWER
THE RAINMAKER
THE RAT
THE REALM OF THE UNREAL
THE REFORM SCHOOL BOARD
THE RETURN OF THE REPRESENTATIVE
THE RETURNED CALIFORNIAN
THE RHI NOSEY ROSE
THE ROOT OF EDUCATION.
THE SAGACIOUS RAT
THE SCOLLIVER PIG.
THE SECRET OF MACARGER’S GULCH
THE SEEKER AND THE SOUGHT
THE SELF–MADE MONKEY
THE SETTING SACHEM.
THE SHADOW OF THE LEADER
THE SNAKE
THE SNAKE AND THE SWALLOW
THE SPOOK HOUSE
THE SPORTSMAN AND THE SQUIRREL
THE STATESMAN AND THE HORSE
THE STORY OF A CONSCIENCE
THE STRANGER
THE STRONG YOUNG MAN OF COLUSA.
THE STUDY OF HUMAN NATURE.
THE SUITABLE SURROUNDINGS
THE TAIL END
THE TAIL OF THE SPHINX
THE TAKEN HAND
THE THIEF AND THE HONEST MAN
THE THING AT NOLAN
THE THISTLES UPON THE GRAVE
THE THOUGHTFUL WARDEN
THE THRIFT OF STRENGTH
THE TOOTSY WOOTSY
THE TREASURY AND THE ARMS
THE TRIED ASSASSIN
THE TWO POETS
THE TYRANT FROG
THE UNCHANGED DIPLOMATIST
THE VARIOUS DELEGATION
THE VICTOR AND THE VICTIM
THE WAR-HORSE AND THE MILLER
THE WIDOWER TURMORE
THE WITCH’S STEED
THE WOLF AND THE BABE
THE WOLF AND THE CRANE
THE WOLF AND THE FEEDING GOAT
THE WOLF AND THE LAMB
THE WOLF AND THE LION
THE WOLF AND THE OSTRICH
THE WOLF AND THE SHEPHERDS
THE WOLF WHO WOULD BE A LION
THE WOLVES AND THE DOGS
THE WOODEN GUNS
THE WRITER AND THE TRAMPS
THE YOUNG PERSON.
THREE AND ONE ARE ONE
THREE OF A KIND
THREE RECRUITS
TONY ROLLO’S CONCLUSION.
TRUTH AND THE TRAVELLER
TWO DOGS
TWO FAVORITES
TWO FOOTPADS
TWO IN TROUBLE
TWO KINGS
TWO MILITARY EXECUTIONS
TWO OF THE DAMNED
TWO OF THE PIOUS
TWO POLITICIANS
UNCALCULATING ZEAL
WASTED SWEETS
WHY I AM NOT EDITING “THE STINGER”
YOUR FRIEND’S FRIEND.
The Poetry Collections
Bierce’s residence at 737 W. Buena Vista, San Francisco, California. Other famous residents include the author Jack London, who wrote ‘White Fang’ here, rock star Graham Nash and the actor, Danny Glover.
BLACK BEETLES IN AMBER
Black Beetles in Amber was Ambrose Bierce’s first collection of poetry, published in San Francisco in 1892 by Western Authors Publishing. Contemporary reviewers responded to the book’s universality and devastating wit, unusual for poetry of that era. Newsman and editor, Arthur McEwan wrote at the time, “Ambrose Bierce has found San Francisco a microcosm, and in flaying the fools and pretenders and villains of this one town, he has flayed the fools and villains and pretenders of the world.” J. O’Hara Cosgrave, editor of The Wave, said that the unusual collection “is without a replica in literature. Never has anyone written such scathing satire. He exhausts the verbal possibilities of vituperation and does so in verse that has the crystalline polish of Pope’s. Think of being gibbeted for posterity. That is what he has done for a handful of venial millionaires and corrupt officials. The form and style of these verses is so polished, so graceful, that they must live…”
Western Authors Publishing, first edition, 1892
CONTENTS
THE KEY NOTE
CAIN
AN OBITUARIAN
A COMMUTED SENTENCE
A LIFTED FINGER
TWO STATESMEN
MATTER FOR GRATITUDE
A MAN
Y’E FOE TO CATHAYE
SAMUEL SHORTRIDGE
SURPRISED
POSTERITY’S AWARD
AN ART CRITIC
THE SPIRIT OF A SPONGE
ORNITHANTHROPOS
TO E.S. SALOMON
DENNIS KEARNEY
FINIS ÆTERNITATIS
THE VETERAN
AN EXHIBIT
THE TRANSMIGRATIONS OF A SOUL
AN ACTOR
FAMINE’S REALM
THE MACKAIAD
A SONG IN PRAISE
A POET’S FATHER
A COWARD
TO MY LIARS
PHIL CRIMMINS
CODEX HONORIS
TO W.H.L.B.
EMANCIPATION
JOHNDONKEY
HELL
BY FALSE PRETENSES
LUCIFER OF THE TORCH
THE WHIRLIGIG OF TIME
A RAILROAD LACKEY
THE LEGATEE
DIED OF A ROSE
A LITERARY HANGMAN
AT THE ELEVENTH HOUR
A CONTROVERSIALIST
MENDAX
THE RETROSPECTIVE BIRD
THE OAKLAND DOG
THE UNFALLEN BRAVE
A CELEBRATED CASE
COUPLETS
A RETORT
A VISION OF RESURRECTION
MASTER OF THREE ARTS
THERSITES
A SOCIETY LEADER
EXPOSITOR VERITATIS
TO COLONEL DAN. BURNS
GEORGE A. KNIGHT
UNARMED
A POLITICAL VIOLET
THE SUBDUED EDITOR
A SCION OF NOBILITY
THE NIGHT OF ELECTION
THE CONVICTS’ BALL
A PRAYER
TO ONE DETESTED
THE BOSS’S CHOICE
A MERCIFUL GOVERNOR
AN INTERPRETATION
A SOARING TOAD
AN UNDRESS UNIFORM
THE PERVERTED VILLAGE
AFTER GOLDSMITH
MR. SHEETS
A JACK-AT-ALL-VIEWS
MY LORD POET
TO THE FOOL-KILLER
ONE AND ONE ARE TWO
MONTAGUE LEVERSON
THE WOFUL TALE OF MR. PETERS
TWIN UNWORTHIES
ANOTHER PLAN
A POLITICAL APOSTATE
TINKER DICK
BATS IN SUNSHINE
A WORD TO THE UNWISE
ON THE PLATFORM
A DAMPENED ARDOR
ADAIR WELCKER, POET
TO A WORD-WARRIOR
A CULINARY CANDIDATE
THE OLEOMARGARINE MAN
GENESIS
LLEWELLEN POWELL
THE SUNSET GUN.
THE VIDUATE DAME
FOUR OF A KIND
ROBERT F. MORROW
ALFRED CLARKE JR.
JUDGE RUTLEDGE
W.H.L. BARNES
RECONCILIATION
A VISION OF CLIMATE
A MASS MEETING
FOR PRESIDENT, LELAND STANFORD
FOR MAYOR
A CHEATING PREACHER
A CROCODILE
THE AMERICAN PARTY
UNCOLONELED
THE GATES AJAR
TIDINGS OF GOOD
ARBORICULTURE
A SILURIAN HOLIDAY
REJECTED
JUDEX JUDICATUS
ON THE WEDDING OF AN AËRONAUT
A HASTY INFERENCE
A VOLUPTUARY
AD CATTONUM
THE NATIONAL GUARDSMAN
THE BARKING WEASEL
A REAR ELEVATION
IN UPPER SAN FRANCISCO
NIMROD
CENSOR LITERARUM
BORROWED BRAINS
THE FYGHTYNGE SEVENTH
INDICTED
OVER THE BORDER
ONE JUDGE
TO AN INSOLENT ATTORNEY
ACCEPTED
A PROMISED FAST TRAIN
ONE OF THE SAINTS
A MILITARY INCIDENT
SUBSTANCE VERSUS SHADOW
THE COMMITTEE ON PUBLIC MORALS
CALIFORNIA
DE YOUNG — A PROPHECY
TO EITHER
DISAPPOINTMENT
THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF THEFT
DOWN AMONG THE DEAD MEN
THE LAST MAN
ARBOR DAY
THE PIUTE
FAME
ONE OF THE REDEEMED
A CRITIC
A QUESTION OF ELIGIBILITY
FLEET STROTHER
CALIFORNIAN SUMMER PICTURES
THE FOOT-HILL RESORT
AT ANCHOR
THE IN-COMING CLIMATE
A LONG-FELT WANT
TO THE HAPPY HUNTING GROUNDS
SLANDER
FITCH:
PICKERING:
JAMES L. FLOOD
FOUR CANDIDATES FOR SENATOR
A GROWLER
AD MOODIUM
AN EPITAPH
A SPADE
THE VAN NESSIAD
A FISH COMMISSIONER
TO A STRAY DOG
IN HIS HAND
A DEMAGOGUE
IGNIS FATUUS
FROM TOP TO BOTT
OM
AN IDLER
THE DEAD KING
A PATTER SONG
A CALLER
THE SHAFTER SHAFTED
THE MUMMERY
THE TWO CAVEES
METEMPSYCHOSIS
SLICKENS
PEACEABLE EXPULSION
ASPIRANTS THREE
THE BIRTH OF THE RAIL
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ
A BAD NIGHT
ON STONE
A WREATH OF IMMORTELLES
LORING PICKERING
A WATER-PIRATE
C.P. BERRY
THE REV. JOSEPH
IN EXPLANATION
Many of the verses in this book are republished, with considerable alterations, from various newspapers. The collection includes few not relating to persons and events more or less familiar to the people of the Pacific Coast — to whom the volume may be considered as especially addressed, though, not without a hope that some part of the contents may be found to have sufficient intrinsic interest to commend it to others. In that case, doubtless, commentators will be “raised up” to make exposition of its full meaning, with possibly an added meaning read into it by themselves.
Of my motives in writing, and in now republishing, I do not care to make either defense or explanation, except with reference to those persons who since my first censure of them have passed away. To one having only a reader’s interest in the matter it may easily seem that the verses relating to those might more properly have been omitted from this collection. But if these pieces, or, indeed, if any considerable part of my work in literature, have the intrinsic worth which by this attempt to preserve some of it I have assumed, their permanent suppression is impossible, and it is only a question of when and by whom they shall be republished. Some one will surely search them out and put them in circulation.
I conceive it the right of an author to have his fugitive work collected in his lifetime; and this seems to me especially true of one whose work, necessarily engendering animosities, is peculiarly exposed to challenge as unjust. That is a charge that can be best examined before time has effaced the evidence. For the death of a man of whom I may have written what I venture to think worthy to live I am no way responsible; and, however sincerely I may regret it, I can hardly be expected to consent that it shall affect my fortunes. If the satirist who does not accept the remarkable doctrine that while condemning the sin he should spare the sinner were bound to let the life of his work be coterminous with that of his subject his were a lot of peculiar hardship.
Persuaded of the validity of all this, I have not hesitated to reprint even certain “epitaphs” which, once of the living, are now of the dead, as all the others must eventually be. The objection inheres in all forms of applied satire — my understanding of whose laws and liberties is at least derived from reverent study of the masters. That in respect of matters herein mentioned I have but followed their practice can be shown by abundant instance and example.
AMBROSE BIERCE.
THE KEY NOTE
I dreamed I was dreaming one morn as I lay
In a garden with flowers teeming.
Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Delphi Classics) Page 145