by Lindsey Gray
First published by The Writer’s Coffee Shop, 2010
Copyright © Lindsey Gray, 2010
The right of Lindsey Gray to be identified and the author of this work has been asserted by her under the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000
This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part maybe reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
The Writer’s Coffee Shop
(Australia) PO Box 2013 Hornsby Westfield NSW 1635
(USA) PO Box 2116 Waxahachie TX 75168
Paperback ISBN-978-1-61213-008-8
E-book ISBN-978-1-61213-009-5
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the US Congress Library.
Cover image by: Jason Rakes
Cover design by: Jennifer McGuire
www.thewriterscoffeeshop.com/lgray
Lindsey Gray was born with a fascination for the written word. By the time she was 12 years old, she had typed several short stories on her parents’ Apple IIE computer. Like many young writers, her early aspirations were eclipsed by every day life. The itch to write has always lingered and over the last few years her desire to create has grown to the point it can no longer be denied. She returned to her, now up-to-date, computer and the words flowed in to what has become her first published novel, Lies Inside.
A mid-west native, Lindsey lives, loves, learns, and writes in Kansas with her husband and two amazing children. When she has a moment or two, Lindsey also enjoys cheering on the Green Bay Packers, reading, and spending time with her friends and family.
My level of thanks to the man whom I chose to spend my life with is immeasurable. Since our first date, my husband has been by my side supporting me and my desire to write. His encouragement and love has helped me become the person I am today.
This story would have not taken several of the turns it has if not for the legal expertise from the brilliant mind of Amy. Her advice combined with my original idea brought forth a new spark to the story creating something even more amazing than I had hoped for.
My life took an amazing turn when Mandy came into it. She took a chance on me and this story when others had shied away. I thank her for her faith in me and her astounding friendship.
My editor, Janine, has made me a better writer, period. She pushed me where I needed to be pushed and lead me to a better understand of what I was capable of creating.
Last, but by no means least, the readers. Without you, this story would just sit on my computer until the end of time. Thank you for taking the time to take this ride along with me and seeing my characters as the complex, flawed beings they are.
Finn O’Malley’s life revolved around two things; his ability to play several instruments like a seasoned professional and his best friend Lucy Butler. At twelve, the lanky adolescent had to make the hardest decision of his life. Which one of them was more important?
His music was his future, his career; he knew that. His parents wanted to help him secure that future by enrolling him at Two Roads School of Music, an elite music academy. The problem he faced was it was on the other side of the country, thousands of miles away from Lucy.
He knew they would both find other friends. He knew they would both be fine without each other. He also knew he didn’t want to.
It came down to the day he was to leave his home in Clarkstown, New York for his new school in central California. He had been sitting on his front porch, tangling his fingers through his shaggy brown hair, watching as his parents loaded his bags in the car. He still wasn’t sure he could do it or when he’d ever get to come back home. He continued his inner struggle until the moment he felt her hand on his shoulder.
“Finn.” Lucy sat down next to him, her fingers twisting at the end of her long auburn locks.
“Hey, Luce.”
“Guess this is it.”
He turned to her and noticed the tears in her eyes. “I don’t have to go.”
“Finn,” her voice was barely a whisper. “You have to. You know it.”
He put his hand on her back and took in the familiar feel of her silky hair threading between his fingertips.
“You have to write.”
“Yes.” He nodded. “Of course, I will.”
Lucy couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. She buried her face in her hands as Finn wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
“Don’t cry, Luce.”
“I can’t help it. I know it’s what’s best, but you’re leaving me with your sister and my annoying brother.”
“It won’t be that bad.” He took her tiny hand in his and tapped a steady beat in her palm. “Rylan, well…she’s just a little unique.”
He had to laugh at the thought of his slightly older, adopted sister. His parents had just brought Rylan home and finalized the adoption when his mother found out she was pregnant. They were barely seven months apart.
Rylan was well ahead of the rest of the class, but he knew she would keep Lucy busy. He hoped that she wouldn’t have time to dwell on the fact that he wasn’t there.
“You still have Jack and your dad, and your friends from school can help you keep Rylan in check. I’m sure you’ll have your hands full while Rylan’s chasing after Jack like she always does. You won’t even have time to miss me.”
“You mean,” she croaked with a sniffle, “you’re not going to miss me?”
“Of course, I will.” He smiled as they laced their fingers together. “Every day. I’m just trying to make this a little easier on both of us.”
“Come on, Finn. You’ll miss your flight.”
They looked up from where they were sitting to see his mother, Claire, calling for him. Finn could see that his guitar and saxophone cases, as well as his complete set of drums were loaded in the car.
He knew this was harder on his mom than it was on him. Not seeing his own mother every day or even every month was still not something he was ready to face.
Finn stood up, bringing Lucy up with him. “I can’t believe this is really it.”
“You’ll write? Promise?” Lucy clutched his hand as they started to walk to the car.
“I promise.”
“One last picture of the two of you for the album?” Claire had always been a little camera happy. Finn and Lucy were always the willing subjects.
“Claire, sweetheart, you have thousands of pictures of the two of them. It’s like Lucy’s your daughter, too.” Finn’s father, Murphy, came up behind his wife.
“One more can’t hurt. We don’t know when they’ll be together again.” She turned back to the kids with their hands still firmly clasped together. “Come on, kids. Give me your favorite pose.”
Lucy grinned at Finn before he gave her the nod. She jumped up on his back, her arms loosely draped around his neck, her chin resting on his shoulder.
“Perfect.” Claire snapped the picture. Claire lowered the camera and watched as her son took his best friend in for one last hug.
“I won’t ever forget this.”
“Forget what?” Lucy could barely get the words out, trying to hold back the tears that were still threatening to fall.
“Your hugs.”
Lucy and her twin brother, Jack, had spent the Christmas holiday with their late mother’s parents in Florida. Since their mother passed away when they were only seven, their dad never really got into the Christmas spirit. Hence, their once a year visits to the S
outh became an escape from the harsh New York winters.
They flew back to New York the night before their last semester of high school started. They were anxiously planning to go on to NYU together in the fall. Jack was the biggest thorn in Lucy’s side, and she was his, but they would throw themselves in front of a bus for each other. It was an unspoken kind of love that only twins shared.
Lucy never imagined that cold day in January would change the course of her life forever.
“Guess you’re kind of excited to get to school early?” Their dad, Lane, kissed her on the forehead as she shoved a spoonful of cereal in her mouth.
“Not weally. Why?” Lucy had a bad habit of talking with her mouth full.
“Close the trap door, Luce.” Jack threw his backpack on the floor before plopping down in the kitchen chair next to her. His footballer’s physique made the chair groan beneath him. He fiddled with the unruly dark-auburn mess that lay on top of his head before grabbing a box of cereal and making his own breakfast instead of Lucy doing it for him as she was prone to do.
Lucy twisted the ends of her long auburn hair as she tried to decide whether to pull it up or not. At the same time, Jack messed with his floppy locks that hung down in his eyes. Both of them rubbed their gray-blue eyes in unison as they fixed their cereal. Their twin habits were apparent when they dug into their cereal and took a bite at the same time.
“You haven’t talked to Rylan?” Lane asked as he opened up his morning paper.
Lucy swallowed. “She’s been busy getting in practices over the holiday. She takes being cheer captain very serious. Last night was the first time I talked to her in days and that was only for five minutes.”
Lane shrugged his shoulders with a smirk as he sat down and picked up his paper. “I thought you’d be meeting Finn on his first day back.”
Jack and Lucy both spit bits of cereal across the table.
“Finn’s back!” Lucy yelled.
Lane lowered his paper, shaking off the cereal spit. “I thought Rylan might have called or texted or whatever you kids do.”
Lucy punched Jack hard in the shoulder. “Did you know about this?”
“Shit, Luce. No.” Their father glared at Jack. Their eyes mirroring each other as Jack rubbed his injured arm. “Sorry, Dad.”
“Let me know how it all turns out. Finn didn’t look very good the other day when I saw him. Maybe seeing you will cheer him up. I guess I shouldn’t expect you for dinner?”
“I’ve got a workout, and I’m going to study with Rylan after that.”
“Sure, study.” Jack shot her a glare.
Lucy knew that her brother and his girlfriend never studied. Most of the time, she heard what they were doing. Rylan was also one of Lucy’s best friends, which made things awkward at times. Jack couldn’t help himself, though. He’d been smitten with Rylan since the day he knocked over her sandcastle and she kicked him in the shin. Now they seemed to have their faces locked together, and Lucy knew hearing her only brother moan like that should be illegal.
“I’ve got court this afternoon, so I won’t be home until late anyway. Just call so I know you’re not in a ditch.”
Lucy knew her father’s job as the county district attorney was demanding, but he always made time for Jack and her. He was always going to be the overprotective father, which only made Lucy love him even more.
“I always do, Dad.” She kissed her father on the cheek.
Lucy and Jack drove to school in their Toyota Four Runner they affectionately called the Four. As Jack drove, Lucy decided the short drive was not nearly long enough to let the fact sink in.
Finn was home.
After five years, Lucy felt she would finally get her best friend back. Rylan was a good friend to her, but nothing could fill that place in her heart the way Finn had. For years, she felt a part of herself was missing. Lucy, Jack, Finn, and Rylan had been inseparable since the day they all met in a Mommy and Me class when they were four.
The last five years, Lucy had been living with an emptiness in her heart. She had only heard from Finn a few times a year since he left. Most of her information came from Rylan. She began imagining what kind of man Finn had become.
Lucy jumped when Rylan tapped on her window. Lucy slowly composed herself and got out of the vehicle where a long overdue hug greeted her.
Rylan was a slim sandy blonde with deep brown eyes. It was helpful to Lucy that she didn’t look at all like Finn, being adopted. It didn’t hurt so much to look at her.
“Ry. Just tell me. Is it true?”
She let go of Lucy just long enough to let her close the door. Then Rylan laced her arm with Lucy’s as they started walking from the parking lot.
“Yes. He’s in the office getting his schedule right now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lucy smacked Rylan’s hand. “I know he’s been back at least a couple of days, and I talked to you last night.”
“I just wanted you to be surprised, but now I’m thinking it might have not been such a good idea. He’s changed…I mean a lot.”
“What do you mean by a lot?”
Lucy was sure he was much taller, his body a little more defined. Lucy thought if he looked anything like his father, she wouldn’t mind.
She knew his eyes wouldn’t have changed. That beautiful, deep cerulean blue she had always loved.
“He’s barely said three words since he’s been home. Mom did Christmas up big, being his first time home in like forever. He hardly cracked a smile when Mom gave him a new laptop. She said he’d need it for school since his one from Two Roads got destroyed somehow on the flight home. If he’s not playing his guitar or blowing that damn sax, he has those ear buds in and is either eating or sleeping. Yes, he has the freaking things in even when he’s sleeping.”
Lucy felt how torn Rylan must have been feeling. Happy to have Finn home, but sad that she felt he was broken somehow.
“What do you think happened?” They walked through the front doors of the school and into the commons area.
“I have no idea. Dad got a call from the principal telling him how Finn wasn’t going to class. When Dad finally got him to talk about it, he just begged to come home.”
“He only had one semester left. What could have been so bad?”
Lucy never imagined Finn having any trouble at school. He was always brilliant in every subject. He even had a full-ride waiting for him at UCLA. Lucy had a little trouble herself in calculus. Since her study buddy had been gone for so long, she had turned to Dave Walters her freshman year. Their study sessions slowly turned into a two-year relationship that went back to just study sessions by the middle of their junior year. Dave never really got over Lucy’s rejection and became slightly obsessed with trying to make her jealous. He failed miserably.
When Lucy saw her future, it was always just her and Finn. Their parents had always said what a cute couple they were and how they’d have gorgeous kids someday. That was when they were six. Lucy wondered if there was any way that could actually happen.
“There he is.” Rylan released Lucy’s arm only to lace their fingers together.
Lucy looked up and saw hardly any of the boy she once knew, walking toward her. The Finn before her was all man. He was much taller—at least six foot three. He had that same messy hairstyle that Jack had, except it was a milk chocolate brown with scattered strands of blond peeking through. His long-sleeved, black, t-shirt clung to his torso, accentuating the outline of his lean six-pack abs. His dark jeans hung low on his v-shaped hips where he had a blue, plaid, flannel shirt tied around them. He was adjusting a black leather backpack on his shoulder and stuffing his iPod in his pocket when he finally stopped in front of the girls.
“You get your schedule okay?” asked Rylan as Lucy released her hand and met Finn’s eyes.
“Hey, Finn.” His eyes were still the same brilliant shade of blue. Something was missing, though. No sparkle. They were hollowed and tired. If he hadn’t been squinting, Lucy mi
ght not have ever known that there was someone alive behind them.
It took Finn a moment to recognize the person standing next to his sister. At about five foot eight, she was just a bit taller than Rylan. She appeared slim under the several layers of winter clothing she wore. Faded blue jeans hugged her thighs perfectly. A navy t-shirt peeked out from underneath her waist-length, black, down jacket. The waves of auburn silk cascaded down her back and in front of her shoulders. The eyes that were somewhere between blue and gray tugged at his memory. Then he looked down and saw a pair of chunky black boots on her feet. He knew it had to be her. What stood before him was not his twelve-year-old girlfriend, but a gorgeous seventeen-year-old woman.
“Lucy?” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he attempted to swallow the dryness in his throat.
“Yep.” She bit her lower lip, her international signal for a vague attempt at flirting. Unfortunately, Rylan picked up on it and tried to move things along.
“Come on, Finn. Don’t be rude. Give your old friend a hug.” Rylan pushed the two of them together.
Lucy slipped her arms around his waist as his hands rested on her back. It seemed like forever to Lucy, but she finally felt his hands clasp behind her and pull her in closer. A familiar comfort invaded her senses as he finally relaxed into her.
“Lucy,” Finn whispered as she felt his nose rubbing through her hair.
She lifted her head so her lips were dangerously close to his ear. “I’m glad you’re home.” She left a soft kiss on his jaw.
She felt the light scruff on his jaw scratch along her cheek as he spoke. “It’s good to know someone missed me.”
The bell signaling five minutes until first period rang. Finn released Lucy and adjusted the strap at his shoulder as she nervously ran her fingers through her hair.
Rylan grabbed Finn’s class schedule as he was pulling it out.
“It looks like we won’t see you this morning. Oh, but you’ve got calc with me after lunch, then you’re in Lucy’s English class.”
“Great!” Lucy was suddenly excited that they would have at least one class together.
“Can you find your first class?”
Finn held up the map of the school that came with his class schedule.