by Cali MacKay
I could feel my self-control slipping as my need for him flamed to life, refusing to be ignored, especially when he ran his hand up my thigh, his fingers rough against my smooth skin as he slipped his hand under the airy fabric of the dress I was wearing. Memories of him taking me flooded my brain in a reminder of all that once was, my body immediately coming alive.
With his mouth at my ear, his warm breath sent a shiver of need through me as I did all I could to resist him, even if it already felt futile. And when he spoke, his voice was ragged and smoky. “Is this what you want, Wren?”
I wanted to lie to him—and yet I couldn’t. Not when my body’s reaction to him was immediate and my hunger for him was fierce, my answer riding a ragged exhale. “Yes…”
His fingers skimmed just under the fabric of my lace panties before he fisted them and tore them from my body with a yank that had me crying out as the fabric cut into my skin, the flicker of pain and his fierceness only making me want him all the more. My self-control slipped further as I felt myself go so wet, leaving my thighs slick as they rubbed together, my clit throbbing and heavy with my desperate need.
And then he was backing away from me, his absence feeling like he’d taken a part of me with him—yet again.
What the hell was wrong with me that I still wanted him, that he could still have such an effect on me even though I hated him for breaking my heart? I spun around, and with years of hurt and anger raging through me, slapped him before I’d had a chance to think it through—and immediately regretted it.
His eyes lit up as he gave me an easy smile that was all too familiar, despite our time apart. “I suppose I deserved that—but that was your one shot, little bird. You don’t get to do that again. Not unless you want to find yourself over my knee and unable to sit for a week.”
“Why the fuck are you even here, Ash? You made it abundantly clear that things were over between us a very long time ago—and you were the one who wanted nothing to do with me.” It still killed me that even after close to a decade, it still fucking hurt like he’d walked away from me—from us—just moments ago. And I still hated him for it.
He gave me a brooding pout that only made him sexier. Curse the bastard. But there was suddenly more there and the light dimmed from his eyes. There was a sadness there that I didn’t quite understand—and it was a damn rare sight on Ash Blackthorn. “Did you hear about my dad?”
“No…” It suddenly felt like the floor had shifted out from under my feet as a dread filled me. “What happened?”
“He was murdered. A hit-and-run—which was no accident—landed him in the hospital, and then once he’d recovered and was about to get discharged, someone got to him…made it look like a medical emergency.” The tightness in his voice told me just how raw and difficult this was for him, especially when I knew just how close he and his dad had been.
“I’m so sorry, Ash. Truly.” Without thinking, I crossed to his side and wrapped my arms around him as he held me tightly to him and buried his head in the crook of my neck.
It immediately felt so familiar, even as I told myself that it didn’t change a thing between us. Even if he was hurting, our past was still fucked up, and I’d never be able to forgive him for the chain of events he set off by leaving. Feeling more sober about things, I pulled out of his arms, needing to put some distance between us before I did something stupid.
“Listen, Wren… The men who killed my father are still out there threatening my family—even attempted to burn down my mother’s home, and nearly killed my sister-in-law in the process. I need to keep them safe—and your father has offered to help.” He let out a ragged breath and ran his hand down his face before pinning me with his green eyes.
“So…why are you here, Ash? What does any of that have to do with me?” I did not like where this was going. Because I had no doubt it was going somewhere, if my father and Ash were involved, and I doubted I’d be happy with either of them in just a moment.
“Wren…I swear this wasn’t my idea.” He closed the distance between us, though it only had me backing away, my heart hammering inside my chest. “Believe me—I know you want nothing to do with me.”
“And yet, here you are.” What the fuck was he up to? And though I was trying not to panic, I was failing miserably.
He let out a deep breath, and looked me straight in the eyes so I’d know he was serious. “We’re getting married.”
I scoffed at him with a laugh. Because he had to be kidding. “Like hell we are.”
“Neither of us has any real say in the matter, Wren. If I want your father’s help to make sure my family is kept safe and my dad’s murderer gets his due, he’s insisting that we get married.” He put out his hand to stop me when I started to protest, though he had to be fucking insane if he thought I was going to go through with any of that. “And since he knows it’s not a union you’d enter into willingly, he’s decided to cut you off financially if you don’t go through with marrying me.”
When I cursed him this time around, I raised it to an art form—and sent more than a bit of that anger in my father’s direction. This could not be happening. Of all the asinine things. “I’m not getting married—period. Let alone get married to you, of all people.”
“Yeah…you must have missed that part about not having a choice. Because if you think I’m going to leave my family open to another attack, you can guess again.”
I knew she’d still be angry with me—just like I knew she wouldn’t want to marry me. Unfortunately for her, she had little say in the matter, as barbaric and backward as that sounded. But the truth of the matter was that she didn’t come from a normal family that followed the normal rules of society. And given who her father was, there was no real way out of this sort of life. She might try to escape it, but there’d always be someone there to pull her back into it—like me.
“I know you’re not happy about this, Wren, but you have no choice. Who pays your rent? Who puts money in your account so you can buy clothes and go out drinking? Where does the money come from when you decide you want to go for a swim in Bali or you want to spend springtime in Capri? Who pays for that shopping spree in Paris and Milan? Because if you think your father won’t cut you off, you can guess again.” It was nothing but the truth.
“I’ll manage just fine on my own. I don’t need you or my father to take care of me.” Wren had gone to college and gotten her degree, but as far as I knew, she hadn’t worked a hard day in her life. Teaching the occasional yoga class or picking up a dog-sitting gig every now and then didn’t exactly pay the bills, and those were done out of boredom, not need.
“You know that’s a load of shit, Wren—and frankly, it doesn’t matter, because I’m still going to do whatever it takes to keep my family safe. And if that means dragging you to some priest or JP who’ll do your dad’s bidding and ignore the fact that you’re not exactly there of your free will, then that’s exactly what I’ll do. But I can tell you right now that we’re getting hitched, whether you like it or not. So pack a bag or I’ll do it for you, and I make no guarantees about my fashion sense.”
“You’re hysterical. And even though I get that you want to keep your family safe, I’m not doing this, Ash. No fucking way. You need to find another way.” She shook her head no and took a step away from me, looking ready to bolt. “You don’t get to come into my home and force me into something I want no part of.”
“You can blame your dad for that. Unfortunately, I’m not the one who set the rules to this little arrangement—and believe me, I’ve done all I can to figure out who’s behind this, and it’s not making sense, which means your dad’s offer is my only option. Trust me when I tell you, this isn’t exactly my idea of a happily ever after, either.” Settling down and getting married was the last thing I’d been thinking of, even if seeing Wren again was stirring up feelings I’d thought were long gone and well forgotten.
“You know I love your family—but marrying me is not the answer to your problems�
�especially since it’s not fucking happening.” Her mistake was telegraphing her move by glancing in the direction she was going to run.
I caught her in my arms as she screamed and tried to get free of me, my cock going hard as I pressed her body to the wall, trapping her against me. And fuck, but it was like the years apart evaporated in that moment, the familiarity of her body against mine making it so I could think of nothing but sinking my cock into her as my mouth caught hers in a heated kiss, my tongue clashing with hers as she kissed me back with a passion I hadn’t realized I’d missed.
Gripping her wrists, I raised her arms up over her head and grabbed them both in one hand so the other could dip down to her sweet cunt, my words spoken against her lips. “Fucking hell, Wren…you’re so wet.”
“And what the hell are you going to do about it, Ash?” Her cheeks were flushed red with need, her words spoken on a gasp as I plunged my fingers inside her, knowing full well the games she was playing. She might hate my guts, but she’d always want me—just like I’d always want her; the attraction between us undeniable. “Are you going to just stand there or are you going to take what you want?”
“Fuck, Wren…” She’d always liked things really rough—too rough—and it looked like some things hadn’t changed. “I’m not doing this—not like this.”
I let her go, not willing to go down this road with her again, even if every part of me ached to have her back, the absence of her curves from my body impacting me like a physical pain.
“You’re not going to fuck me—and I’m not going to marry you. See? We both have things we won’t do.” Her smug smile made me curse under my breath as I fought the need to carry her off to her bed, and fuck her until she didn’t have the energy or desire to deny me anything.
“You make it sound like either one of us has a choice when it comes to this. We don’t. And you should know damn well by now that your father always gets what he wants. So, believe me when I tell you, that you want to come along willingly. ’Cause I can guarantee you won’t like the alternative, sunshine.” My car was parked just outside, and I had no doubt I could have her bound and stuffed into my car before anyone noticed.
“I’m. Not. Going.” Her hands curled into fists, and she glared at me, but the reality of it all was that her protests were useless.
“Grab your things, Wren.” When she gave me the finger, it sealed her fate. My hand closed around her wrist as I carefully twisted it behind her back, and got her moving toward her bedroom. “You need to pack. And I suggest you don’t push me to more extreme measures—’cause if you think I don’t have ways of restraining you, you can guess again.”
She cursed up a storm, standing in the middle of her room, refusing to budge. “I want to see my father. ’Cause this is not happening.”
I couldn’t help but sigh, knowing it wouldn’t do her any good. “I’ll happily take you to see him, but you know what he’s like, and if you think he’s going to change his mind about this, you’ve clearly been away too long and don’t remember what he’s like.”
“I have no problem working and paying my own way if he doesn’t want to help me financially. Because after all you put me through, it’ll be a cold day in hell before I marry you.” She glared at me with such hatred—not that I could really blame her.
When I left Seattle, I’d half expected that I’d be able to bring her around and make her see that this could work. But with her eyes shimmering with threatening tears, I realized just how much I’d hurt her.
I couldn’t help but cross to her side, reaching out to run a hand down her arm. “I’m sorry, Wren…”
She shrugged away from my touch, her tears replaced by more anger. “If you were truly sorry, you wouldn’t have come back here to rip open old wounds.”
There was no point in telling her yet again that I had no choice in the matter. She didn’t want to hear it—nor did she care when the results were the same. She still had to deal with me—and I had no doubt things were only going to get worse between us.
I found a large duffel bag in her closet and plopped it on the bed. “Do you want to do this or do you want me to do it for you?”
“You’re an asshole.” Yet she went to her closet and dresser and started throwing clothes in the bag, making sure to glare at me the whole time.
By the time she finished packing, my mood had turned and my frustration with the situation was getting the better of me. I was being railroaded into this situation, same as her. But I had no choice. I’d tried to figure out who was after my family, and it had been impossible. Every clue, every road I’d followed, had come to a dead end. The clues we had didn’t make sense, and that meant my family was still at risk.
I zipped the bag shut. “Ready?”
Wren plopped herself down on the edge of her bed, looking miserable. “Please, Ash… Don’t make me do this. There’s got to be another way to keep your family safe…another way to make my father see sense. I just can’t…”
Fuck, I hated seeing her like this. Especially when this was my fault. Knowing she was hurting, I dropped to my knees before her so I could look at her face to face. “I know you hate me, Wren. But you have my word, I’ll try to do right by you.”
“Like you did before?”
“I guess I deserve that.”
With Ash just a heartbeat away, my emotions were a tumultuous mess. I’d done my best to get over him, even if the wounds to my soul had never healed. And though the wounds weren’t all of Ash’s making, enough of them were, and for now I was happy enough to hold him responsible.
“Come on, Wren. Let’s just try to get through this. Maybe you’ll have better luck convincing your father that this is an insane plan.” Still kneeling in front of me, he made it impossible for me to ignore him. And when he brushed the hair from my eyes, his touch was far too familiar, especially when I could feel the echo of his hands on my body, my lips still tender from his hungry kisses. “And if we can’t get him to change his mind…maybe we can figure out a way to make this work.”
So he could send me into a downward spiral I might not ever escape? No fucking way. “It won’t work, Ash. The two of us together… It was nothing short of disastrous.”
“That was ages ago, love. We’re not kids anymore. And you can’t deny that there’s always been something between us.” His hands slowly slipped up my thighs, making my breath catch with a gasp as my eyes slipped shut and my head fell back, even as I told myself I should put a stop to this before it was too late.
And yet, I couldn’t…not when he was biting my nipples through the thin fabric of my dress, and his thumb was stroking my clit, my panties long gone. I knew I’d regret this and I’d end up hating myself for it afterwards, but I couldn’t stop him, knowing all too well what Ash was capable of. And I might still blame him for everything he’d put me through, but pushing him away took more determination than I had at the moment, especially when he was trying to prove a point.
He caught my mouth in a hungry kiss as his fingers dipped deep inside me, filling me and stretching me tight as I moaned into his mouth, leaving me wanting so much more, even as I told myself it wasn’t too late to put a stop to this. But he was far too skilled…and knew me far too well, even after all these years apart.
My legs fell open for him, giving him easy access, desperate for him to use my body any way he wanted, to take me rough, my head and my body too conditioned to wanting things fucked up.
And then there was my guilt.
I didn’t deserve any measure of happiness. Not that fate would put me out of my misery when it could continue to torment me, to remind me that my life had been a nightmare for a very long time.
Ash dragged his teeth down my neck and over my racing pulse while he finger-fucked me, thrusting into me as he sank his teeth into my shoulder, my pleasure melting into my pain. He already had me so close to coming, and I hated myself for giving in to this thing between us, my tears streaming down my cheeks as he pushed me over the edge and I c
ried out as I came, my body squeezing around his fingers.
But then his eyes met mine, and his smile faded the moment he spotted my tears. “Little bird…”
Scooping me up in his arms, he sat back against my headboard and held me to him as I cried my heart out, not even sure what part of my fucked-up life I was crying about. But it was like he’d broken down my walls when he’d touched me.
His cheek rested atop my head as he murmured words of comfort in a futile attempt to calm me down. I cried until I could cry no more, but as my tears finally slowed, I became far too aware of Ash’s familiar body, his strong arms offering me a comfort that was nothing more than an illusion. Because, before long, Ash would realize I wasn’t worth the effort. I was damaged…broken…and not even he could put me back together.
Somehow, I found the strength to pull out of his arms, needing to put some distance between us before I compounded my mistake with an even bigger one. “Please, Ash…just go. Tell my father you couldn’t find me. Tell him I moved and you didn’t know where I’d gone to. Just please…don’t make me do this.”
“Wren…talk to me. I hate seeing you so upset.” His green eyes searched my face for some sort of answer, some truth, though it only left me feeling exposed and vulnerable, especially when he was still so handsome—and most of all, when he didn’t know any of my secrets.
“What do you want me to say? I came home from my date to find out you’d broken into my apartment and made some sort of asinine deal with my father. And to hell with what I want for my life. Why should I actually get a fucking say?” I got to my feet, needing to put some distance between us, and though I was giving Ash the most obvious answer, it was really nothing more than a distraction from the actual truth—a truth he could never know. “Well, this is my fucking life—and I refuse to have you and my father hijack it.”
“Last chance, Wren.” Ash shifted to the edge of the bed, sitting there with his elbows propped on his knees. But there was an underlying tension in his muscular form that reminded me of a panther stalking its prey and getting ready to pounce, his mood far too serious to bode well for me.