by Cali MacKay
“I am. I’m worried about my entire family, Wren.” He cupped my face in his large hands and kissed me as if I was his lifeline and he was drowning. “And I’m worried about you. Just please…say you’ll stay.”
Fuck. I knew he had so much going on, and he was just trying to do right by everyone. But that only made my deception worse, even if it was by omission.
In the end, all I could do was nestle myself up against his naked body, and battle my guilt. “I’ll stay for now.”
“Sometimes, love, all we have is ‘for now.’” He kissed the top of my head and pulled the covers over us, though his gaze kept drifting back to his phone.
“He’ll be okay, Ash. Finn’s a resourceful guy and can take care of himself. All your brothers can.” And that definitely wasn’t a lie. All of the Blackthorns could kick some serious ass. They were fixers—or rather they had been. And that meant convincing people to do things they didn’t want to do, by any means necessary, even though the Blackthorns tended to get things done without resorting to brutal violence.
“That’s what I thought about my father—and now he’s fucking gone, Wren…and nothing is going to change that.” The pain in his voice broke my heart, and it only served to remind me that he’d hate me if he ever found out the truth. “I should have had his back…should have found a way to protect him until we could make a full break from this life.”
“You can’t blame yourself, Ash.” No…the blame was landed firmly on my father’s shoulders. “This wasn’t your fault. And your brother…I don’t know what to say. But if you want to go and look for him, then let’s do that.”
“Will you keep me company?”
Ash was no doubt worried I’d take off if he left me alone, though at this point, I didn’t know if I could leave him when things felt so dire for him.
“Of course I’ll go with you. And if you want me to call my father and get his help with this, then I will. Whatever you want.” After all his family had been through, I was hoping that it’d be a simple case of Finn forgetting to meet his brother and the battery on his phone being dead.
We got dressed and headed out after we’d made sure Sammie was okay for the night. I didn’t ask where we were going, but before long, Ash pulled up in front of a nice home in a quiet neighborhood nestled in the woods. “If he’s not here, we’ll have to check the distillery. He’s been working there more and more, as we transition over.”
He didn’t need to say what they were transitioning over from, since I knew full well the type of work they’d been doing. And if they could move to a more legitimate model, then all the better for everyone involved, even if it might take some time to get things up and running. “How’s Blackthorn Whiskey been doing? I know it’s quite the change from what you’d all been doing.”
“It’s doing remarkably well, to be honest. Even if my brothers might find it all a little boring.” He killed the engine and shook his head. “Never mind that they might end up dead otherwise.”
It was all too real a possibility, given the thugs and criminals they’d once associated with. But before they could discuss it further, Ash was exiting the vehicle and coming around to get my door, taking my hand as we wandered up the path to Finn’s home. He rang the bell far more times than was necessary, and waited impatiently before heading to one of the windows to peek inside. “The lights are on, but I don’t see him.”
“He could have left them on before heading out.” Not that I’d expected to find him.
“He keeps a key stashed around the back.” He started to head in that direction but I let my hand slip free of his grip.
“If you don’t mind, I’m going to stay here and call my father. See if he can help in any way…or if he’s heard anything.” And to make sure he and his thugs didn’t have anything to do with this. Because if my dad thought his manipulations were helping me, he was gravely mistaken.
“I’ll just be a minute.” He stole a quick kiss, and then took off along a path, leaving me to watch his muscular form move with an ease and grace that left me wondering how the hell I’d ever be able to walk away from him.
Once he was gone, I pulled out my phone and dialed my father’s cell number. “Please tell me you didn’t have anything to do with Finn Blackthorn’s disappearance.”
“Ash’s younger brother?” There was only the slightest pause before his denial, leaving me to wonder if I could trust his word. “No…I didn’t even know he was missing. But it could very well be the men who killed his father.”
I knew my father was trying to remind me that he hadn’t been directly responsible for Alec Blackthorn’s death, even if it was his attack that landed him in the hospital in a vulnerable state, allowing the other vultures to take advantage. “Who are they, Dad? You’ve yet to tell Ash so he can just deal with this himself and keep his family safe—and don’t you dare try to pretend that you don’t know who was behind the attack.”
“I’ll deal with them, Wren—but only once you’ve married Ash. I need to know you’ll be kept safe and happy after I’m long gone, and there are few people I trust to do just that.”
“How the hell am I supposed to marry him after what you did?” Ash would hate me if he ever found out—and he’d murder my father with his bare hands.
“I don’t fucking care how you manage it—just do it, or there will be consequences, and I can guarantee you Ash and his family will be the ones to suffer on behalf of your inaction.”
“You’re such a fucking bastard. How can you even think of doing such a thing?” My eyes stung with tears at the thought of someone else Ash loved ending up dead, all because of my father’s manipulations. And I hated myself for bringing this into Ash’s life. Because if it weren’t for me, for my father, Ash’s dad would still be alive, and his family would be a hell of a lot safer.
“I do whatever it takes, Wren—and you will too.”
The key was where Finn always left it, but it didn’t take long for me to go through his home and realize my brother wasn’t here, and nothing looked out of place. No signs of a struggle, no blood, nothing left on the stove cooking, nothing to indicate he’d been forced to flee in a hurry or that he’d been taken by force. And that meant I still didn’t have a fucking clue as to where the hell he was.
Hopefully he’d just gotten caught up in something and was running late. I sent Locke a quick text to let him know Finn wasn’t at his home, while Locke checked out Finn’s regular haunts. With luck, he’d turn up at one of them.
I locked up and put away the key where I’d found it, before heading back toward the front of the house. I had the momentary thought that I’d come back around to the front of the house and Wren would be gone, but I caught her voice as she spoke to her father, and hated that she sounded agitated. But the moment she heard me coming, she cut her conversation short and hung up on the call.
“Finn’s not here.” I ran my hand down her arm, and pulled her to me, relieved that she wasn’t fighting me or pushing me away. Maybe there was hope for us after all. “Everything okay?”
“No. It’s not, Ash.” She growled in frustration and tried to step out of my arms, shoving at my chest when I wouldn’t let her go, my hopes of her not distancing herself evaporating in that very heartbeat. “Everything’s a fucking mess. Your father’s dead, your brother’s missing, and we’re being blackmailed into marrying each other—and though I’ve always loved you, there’s a reason we split up.”
“Yeah…there is—and it’s that I was too young and stupid to see that you were emotional and lashing out because you’d been repeatedly abused by your stepbrother.” I closed the distance between us, refusing to let her run away from me and make excuses for why we couldn’t be together. “I fucking love you, Wren—and you don’t get to walk away from us.”
“Why not? You did.” She was seething with frustration and though I knew she had every right to feel that way, it didn’t mean I was going to let her go.
“I did—but I’m here now. And I don�
��t care how much you push me away, I’m not leaving—and you’re not either. Now if you don’t mind, I need to focus on finding my brother.” If I had to guilt her into behaving herself and not pulling a runner, then I had no qualms about doing so—and luckily it worked, as she stalked back to my car, got in and slammed the door hard enough to practically take it off its hinges. And that was fine. She could be mad at me all she wanted as long as she stayed put.
“What did your father say? Has he heard anything?” I highly doubted it since Finn hadn’t been missing all that long, but you never could tell with Turner. He had feelers out everywhere.
“No. Nothing. And if you were smart, you wouldn’t go to my father for help. He’s nothing but a manipulative jerk.” She was so angry with him that it left me wondering what exactly they’d said to each other. Maybe she’d asked him for a way out of this arranged marriage, and he’d denied her. Or maybe she’d simply told him she was heading home and he’d threatened her into staying, and she was now pissed off about it. Not that it mattered when it all came down to it, since she’d be walking that fine ass of hers down the aisle, by hook or by crook.
“No offense, little bird, but how is this a surprise to you? You know damn well what he’s like, though I wish you wouldn’t let him get to you.” She said little else to me as I started to back out down the driveway, and nearly hit a car as it was pulling in.
Finn.
I pulled forward, so he’d have space to pull in, and threw it in park, relief washing over me as I headed over toward my brother, just as he was getting out of his car. Even in the dark of night, with nothing but the outdoor lights from his home, it was clear that his face was bruised and bloodied. “What the fuck happened?”
“Nothing worth discussing.” His movements were slow and clearly painful, making me think that his face wasn’t the only thing to take a beating. “I just got off the phone with Locke… Sorry you guys were worried.”
“Who the hell did this to you?” I had no doubt he wouldn’t want to discuss the matter, but I needed to know what the hell was going on if I had any hope of keeping everyone safe.
“I know you’re thinking this has to do with Dad, but it doesn’t. Okay? And I appreciate your concern, but I don’t want to fucking talk about it, Ash.” He let out a weary sigh, and took another step toward his front door before pausing and turning to face me. “Look…I’m fucking sorry. But…it’s late, and I need to get some ice, so if you don’t mind, I’m going to go.”
“Well, guess what? I do fucking mind when someone’s gunning for us and our family.” What the fuck had happened to him? Though Finn was normally level-headed, tonight he was just pissing me off.
He glared at me, with a shake of his head. “It has nothing to do with anyone but me. So no offense, but I’m in no fucking mood to deal with you, Ash.”
Yet before we could continue our asinine argument, Wren got out of the car and came around to my side. “Everything okay? Finn…it’s nice to see you again. Just sorry it’s not under better circumstances.”
“Wren…it’s good to see you too. Sorry you got dragged out in the middle of the night on my account.” Some of Finn’s anger seemed to mellow once he realized Wren was here.
She gave him a sweet smile and looped her arm with his as she walked up the steps of the front porch and toward his door. “Come on… Let’s get those scrapes and cuts cleaned, and maybe get you something for the pain—Ash might be a pain in the ass, but he’s right to be worried about you.”
Watching Wren with my brother left me falling in love with her in a whole new way that had nothing to do with our past or the attraction between us. But that moment, as I watched her take care of my brother and defuse the tension between us, sealed my fate.
I loved her like she was my very soul. Because she was my very soul, my everything.
Once she’d sat Finn down at the kitchen counter, she grabbed him some ice and a damp towel, and proceeded to gingerly wipe the dried blood from his face, ignoring his grumbling as he told her he was fine and she didn’t have to do this. She just gave him a kind smile, and did what she could to patch him up. “I’m not sure how bad your ribs are, but you might want to get them checked—even though I highly doubt you will.”
Before he could start protesting, I interrupted him. “What happened, Finn? And how can you be sure this has nothing to do with Dad?”
He growled at me, clearly annoyed that I wouldn’t let it go. “’Cause it had to do with Skylar.”
Skylar… Fucking hell, could this night get any worse?
“Fuck, Finn…I should have known she’d somehow be involved.”
By the time we got back to Ash’s home, I was too exhausted to go anywhere, let alone try to fight Ash on the matter. But as he scooped me up into his arms and carried me to his bed, I wondered once more how I could possibly go through with marrying him when I knew he’d hate me once he found out the truth. And that more than anything would kill me, since I could no longer deny, even to myself, that I truly loved him.
Yet my father had upped the ante to get me to walk down the aisle, knowing I’d do anything to protect Ash. And that included marrying him, even if he’d hate me if he ever found out that I knew what my father had done and hadn’t said anything about it.
He lay me down on the bed, and slowly stripped me naked. And as late as it was, I was too exhausted to protest, already struggling to keep my eyes open. I fought falling asleep as his naked body sidled up against mine, my head resting on his chest as my mind drifted into a dizzy spiral of physical and emotional exhaustion. And maybe if I’d been more awake, I’d have kept my mouth shut. But I didn’t…the words slipping past my lips before I could give them a second thought. “My father…it’s all his fault, Ash.”
“I know, little bird.” He held me tightly to him, engulfing me in his strong arms, as I fought back my tears. “But I swear, I’ll make you happy, even though you’re only here because your father’s forcing you to be here.”
He didn’t understand…and I knew he wouldn’t, vague as I’d been. But I couldn’t bring myself to say any more, knowing that with my father’s new threat, I couldn’t back out of this wedding. And that meant that there was no fighting what was between us, no fighting the pull of attraction nor the love I had in my heart for him. And frankly, I was tired of trying to push him away, tired of hating him as a way to keep him from finding out my secrets, from letting him into my life.
And yet, there was no way for me to let go of my guilt. No way to let go of my past. No way to let go of what my father had done. Because there was no going back in time to fix things.
No going back to right our wrongs.
Come morning, I felt no less miserable, though I was resigned to the fact that I’d be getting married in just two days. What option did I have when my father was threatening Ash and his family? And though it’d be tempting to think that my dad wouldn’t go through with it, it wasn’t a risk I could take, since it’d be just like him to do something stupid simply to prove a point.
“I need to get a dress today.” Sitting at the breakfast bar, I pushed my eggs around my plate, too upset to eat.
“Wren…you won’t even look at me.” Shifting in his seat to face me, Ash tilted my chin up, so I’d be forced to look him in the eyes. “Talk to me, love.”
I pulled free of his touch, knowing it’d only weaken my defenses. “There’s nothing to talk about. We’re getting married. Isn’t that what you want?”
“What I want is for you to be happy—and for you to tell me what the fuck’s going on.” He was all but vibrating with tension. But instead of putting his fist through a wall or pounding it on the counter hard enough to have the plates jumping, he instead pulled me into his arms with all the care in the world, and held me tightly to him as I slumped against him. “I love you, Wren…I always have and I always will, and seeing you like this is killing me.”
It wasn’t fair to leave him constantly worrying about me, when there was nothi
ng to be done for any of it. I had to marry him, and there was no point in putting it off because of what he’d do when he found out the truth. “I love you too.”
What else could I say?
“Then tell me what I can do to make you happy. I thought we were getting somewhere. And then you just ran—and I don’t get it, because it felt like a complete turnaround in mere hours. I thought we were good.” The confusion in his voice was completely understandable. But it was the hurt there that had me pushing my problems aside.
“We’re good, Ash. I’m sorry I let things get to me.” I managed a smile, knowing he’d keep digging if he thought there was something wrong. “It’s just that getting married is a big step. But…you make me happy. And I want to get married.”
Especially if I had any hope of keeping Ash and his family from harm.
With his brow furrowed, his gaze wandered over my face, taking me in with eyes far too intelligent. “I don’t believe you, little bird. And I wish I had the time to figure out what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours. But…unfortunately, I don’t. So we’ll get married and I’ll do everything I can to help you chase your demons away.”
I pressed my lips to his, swallowing down the lump in my throat. He was such a good man…and the truth was, I didn’t deserve him. Not after what my father had done. “You’re too good to me.”
“I’m treating you the way you deserve to be treated.” He cupped my face in his hands, so I couldn’t help but turn in to his touch as my eyes slipped shut. “I know you have your reservations about this union, but I swear, I’ll do right by you, Wren. I’ll keep saying the words and I’ll show you every way I can, until you start to believe me and you’re finally able to leave your past behind.”