by Jen Talty
“You want to take over the controls for landing?” She had a hundred hours in flight school and could easily pass her pilot test, but she kept putting it off.
“Nope,” she said firmly.
“Come on. You’ve done it perfectly before.”
“I know I have, but I prefer to be a passenger, you know that.”
“What if I want a break?” He dipped the nose of the plane lower, heading toward a small landing strip not far from her family’s farm. He almost felt as if he knew her family after many late-night conversations. Their upbringings were so different, yet so similar. She should have been perfect for him, only she’d left her ex because he was pushing too hard to get married.
And she didn’t want to. Or at least that’s what he believed.
And Declan no longer wanted that life.
Yeah, right.
“Come on, Becca. Land the plane and then when we get home, you really should sign up to take your test.”
“Why do you push me so hard to get my pilot’s license?”
“Because you’re good,” he said, staring into her soft, ocean-colored eyes. If they were pools he’d jump in and float around, never to leave. She had to be the smartest person he’d ever met. Bravest too. Not to mention strong. Hell, she was fucking perfect, and he was the moron who was too chicken to tell her how he really felt.
Scared to have his heart burned again.
“And if you didn’t intend on getting your license, why do the training?”
“Truth?” Her thick lashes fluttered as she lowered her gaze. Her cheeks flushed.
“Always,” he said.
“To spend time with you.”
“Huh?” He did a double take. His heartbeat increased. He’d always known that she liked him more than a friend. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t returned the feelings, but they spent so much time together as a team, it surprised him she’d take flying lessons just to be with him.
“When I first moved here, you made a comment about flying with me without taking lessons first, so I signed up.”
He shook his head. “I would have taken you up regardless.”
“I wanted to impress you with my skills.”
“You impressed me the second you walked on the base.” He’d been enamored by her since their first training session together. So much so that he screwed up and nearly broke his ankle tripping over the hose. Her instincts as a firefighter were sharper than many seasoned firemen. He trusted her with his life.
Why the hell couldn’t he trust her with his heart?
A long silence filled the cockpit. He concentrated on his checklist for landing. A rental car would be waiting for them at the airport, and he planned on going to her parents’ first, so they could look through her sister’s things for clues.
Then they would go to the young man’s house to ask probing questions, based on what Tex had found out. He couldn’t wait to land so he could check his email for that information. What little they had didn’t seem to add up to anything but trouble.
He glanced at the beautiful woman next to him, who peered out the window, chewing on her fingernail.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
She turned her head. “What do you mean?”
In the few times they’d talked, he never apologized for being a selfish dick. He let his hormones drive him that night, and she ended up as collateral damage. Something she didn’t deserve.
“I didn’t mean to lead you on that night.”
“Ah,” she said, turning her gaze back out the window. “I’m a big girl and knew that it probably wouldn’t go beyond that one night.”
“Probably?” If he wasn’t preparing to land, he’d reach out and make her look at him. Her nonchalant attitude made him batshit crazy. Not that he wanted her moaning and crying over it, but hell, he cared more about her than he thought he could ever care again.
He wanted to laugh out loud.
He’d never told her that.
“Why are we hashing this out at eight thousand feet when we’ve discussed it before?” she asked.
“Because maybe I have a bit of regret.”
“Excuse me?” Her voice screeched. “What the hell does that mean? I thought you said you’d never regret being—”
He took his hand off the control for a second, covering her mouth. “I sometimes think maybe I made a mistake by not giving us a chance.” He must be suffering from altitude sickness or some such shit, because no way in hell did he just say that.
Of course, he’d planned on telling her that tonight anyway, since he’d tricked her into thinking there was a gathering at his place, when in reality, it was just the two of them.
“If you think that is going to get me to land this plane, well, the answer is still…oh, fuck it, hand over the controls.”
“Are you changing the subject?”
“Hell yes,” she said, glaring at him.
He had no idea how to take that, but he switched the controls to her side of the plane. “She’s all yours.” He flipped the comms switch. “Riley Tower, this is Rivers requesting landing permission.”
“Rivers, this is Riley Tower. Permission is granted. Come in east to west for landing.”
“You have to circle—”
“I know,” she said, turning the plane three degrees to the left so she could come around the runway from the east.
Declan smiled. “Let me know if you need a hand.” He eased back in his seat and tried not to stare at her too much while she masterfully brought the plane to the runway, landing it with the precision of a sniper. The aircraft barely bounced as she skidded to a stop.
She followed the ground crew to a spot near the small aircraft hangar. For the next ten minutes, they went through the shutdown checklist before jumping from the plane.
He tossed both their rucksacks over his shoulder.
“I can carry my own,” she balked.
“I know you can.” But he was going to be the gentleman his mother raised him to be. He tossed them in the trunk of the Charger he’d rented. Nothing like a good old-fashioned muscle car. Glancing at his phone, he opened the passenger door for Becca. “Shit, nothing from Tex yet.” He tucked his phone in his back pocket and blocked the entry to the vehicle.
She tipped her head, staring up at him, eyes blinking.
He reached out, tucking a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Screw being a gentleman. Gently, he brushed his lips over hers in a sweet and tender kiss. It wasn’t overtly sexual, but a promise of something more.
Something real.
Her hands rested on his chest, and he half-expected her to push him away. When she didn’t, he took that as a sign he could deepen the kiss. Circling his arms around her back, he pulled her tight to his chest. He could get drunk on her kisses. For an entire month, he told himself lie after lie on why he couldn’t be with her, but in this moment, there wasn’t a single one that made sense.
“Declan,” she whispered. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to tell you I made a horrible mistake walking away from you that night. You know I got burned—”
She patted his chest. “I know some chick broke your heart, but I have no idea why. What the hell did Vivian do?”
What a fucking loaded question, and did he dare make himself vulnerable?
“Does it really matter?” Most of the time when he thought about Vivian and what she did, his chest would tighten with a combination of the most excruciating pain and raw anger. However, over the course of the last few months, and especially around Becca, those emotions lifted from his body.
But he still couldn’t bring himself to let her in.
“You say you made a mistake and want to try again, well, before I’m willing to do that, I need to know what happened. If you can’t tell me, well, then there is no way we could ever be a couple.”
“She was pregnant, but decided it was too soon, so she had an abortion.” Wow. He wasn’t sure he’d ever said those words out loud, exce
pt to Brodie over a year ago when he’d found out. Brodie had been the best friend a man could ever ask for. He never judged, lectured, or even interjected his thoughts. He sat and listened and was there for Declan. They’d even became roommates until Brodie fell hard for Harper.
Literally.
Becca gasped, covering her mouth. Her blue eyes grew wide then narrowed into tiny slits. Fire erupted from them like a volcano. “Without talking to you?” she asked in a faint whisper.
He nodded. He might not have followed the church doctrine as his parents did, but abortion wasn’t something he believed in. At least not for him, and especially with the woman he loved and wanted to marry.
Only Vivian hadn’t loved him.
But it was Vivian not wanting to get married that threw him over the edge.
And he could have even understood not getting married right away, even though his parents would have lost their shit, but he could have done it, easily.
But Vivian took any choice they had away, and their relationship ended because of it. Over a year later, he’d come to understand that Vivian wasn’t the right woman for him. They didn’t have the same core beliefs, and she wanted his money more than she wanted him. A cold, cruel fact he had to learn to live with.
“Declan, I’m sorry.”
“It gets worse.”
“How?”
“It might not have been mine.” That had been the toughest pill to swallow. At first, he thought perhaps Vivian was just being cruel by tossing an affair in his face, but as it turns out, the baby could have been someone else’s and that fact nearly killed him.
“Fuck,” Becca muttered. “She’s one cold bitch.”
Though entirely inappropriate, he laughed. Not just at what Becca said, but swear words sounded so innocent and sweet coming out of her mouth for some odd reason, and it eased the anger that filled his heart every time he thought about what Vivian had done.
“That she is, but now I have a question for you.” He took her chin between her thumb and forefinger. “What about John? It seems he’s always around. I mean, he moved to Florida to be with you.”
“And he moved back to Ohio two months ago.”
“He did?” That was news to Declan.
“He’s seeing someone else. Actually, everyone is waiting for them to get married.”
And that brought Declan to the fear he told himself was driving him away from Becca.
“I heard he proposed to you a while ago,” he said, sucking in a deep breath. Marriage, kids, white picket fence with a couple of dogs and maybe a cat or two was all he’d ever wanted. Well, besides being a fireman for the Air Force.
He’d given up on all of that the day he left Vivian. But Becca made his heart burn with desire again and for an instant, he thought maybe he could have it all.
“He did, but I didn’t love him, and he knew it. He kept thinking I’d grow to love him. He moved down here after I broke up with him, hoping to win me over, but I finally got through to him and he went home.”
“Wait. What?” He stepped back, scratching his head. “You introduced him at a few parties as your boyfriend.”
“No. I didn’t. That’s how he introduced himself.”
“Seriously? That’s a little stalkerish, but you never corrected him.”
“Oh, trust me, I corrected him plenty. He finally gave up six months ago when I told him I hooked up with you.”
“We didn’t hook up till last month,” he said, letting out a long breath.
“I lied to him. I know. That’s bad, but I needed him to understand he was better off with someone who actually loved him.”
He smiled. “But we did hook up, didn’t we?”
Once again, she patted his chest. “We had sex. But I guess I should thank you for helping get through to him that he and I were never going to happen.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t know he wasn’t your boyfriend this entire time. God, I’m clueless.”
“You’re not clueless. You’re just still reeling from what the bitch did to you.”
He cupped Becca’s cheek, drawing her in for a single, but sweet kiss. “I’m past that and when this is over, I’d like to see where this might go.”
“I’ll need to think about it.” She pushed past him and slipped into the passenger seat.
He tapped his aching heart. “Ouch.”
Becca rubbed her hands together, hoping Declan didn’t notice her body trembling like an earthquake. She’d always prided herself on being cool under pressure, it’s how she survived boot camp as a Mennonite, firefighter school as a woman, and being around Declan in general. Her entire life, acting as if, or faking it till you make it, had been her only coping mechanism, and right now, she worried Declan may have destroyed it in one small, but powerful kiss.
“Grab my phone. It’s vibrating.” Declan lifted his ass cheek, exposing his buns of steel. Every day she was surrounded by hot firemen, but none of them were anywhere near as sexy as Declan. Even on his worst day, he was hotter than sin with his chiseled abs, perfectly styled hair, tanned skin, and deep orbs that commanded one’s attention.
“Looks like an email from Tex.”
“Open it.”
“I need the passcode.”
“It’s 232225,” he said.
“I never use numbers, always go by the alphabet. So, this would be,” she tapped at the keypad, “B-E-C-C-A-K…” She let the last letter trail off as she dropped the phone to her lap. Her eyes blinked wildly as she stared at his profile going in and out of focus. “That’s my name and first initial of my last name,” she stated the obvious.
“Really? Huh.” He turned his head and smiled.
With shaky fingers, she picked up the phone and cleared her throat, deciding it had to be a coincidence. “Shall I read it?”
“Please do.”
She did her best to ignore her thumping heart.
Hey, Dec,
Byron Richards is twenty. He’s from Walnut Creek, but he’s a bit of a drifter. He’s been picked up for dealing and spent the night in county lock-up a few times for writing bad checks.
Becca glanced over the phone. “Who writes checks these days?”
“Don’t your parents?”
“We’re Mennonites, not the Amish. We live in the modern world and use much of the technology it offers.”
“So, your dad doesn’t have this long beard?”
“He has a beard, but no, nothing like that.”
“Good to know. Keep reading,” Declan said.
He’s also been arrested for a few bar brawls and possession of illegal substances. His last known employer is a mechanic shop up near Akron, but I can’t find current employment for the last nine months. I have found some pictures of him hanging out with the Rossini boys, sons of Gandolfi Rossini who is currently spending life in prison for human trafficking.
“Fucking wonderful,” she muttered.
“Wow. You just like swearing, don’t you?”
She let out a nervous laugh, understanding he was trying to lighten the mood. “The first time I said fuck, it was like licking the bowl after my mom made brownies.”
“It doesn’t even sound like a bad word when you say it.”
“That’s not what my mother said.”
He reached out and squeezed her knee. His gentle touch comforted her aching soul, and right now she needed to draw on his strength.
“Anything else?” he asked.
“Just that he’ll be in touch.”
He laced his fingers through hers. “You okay?”
“No. I’m not.” She pointed. “Take the next right.” Cornfields reached toward the sky with their stalky ends. A slight breeze sent them swaying back and forth in a seductive dance. A cow and horse pasture, filled with the finest animals, lined the left side of the road. Miles and miles of her family farmland stretched on for as far as the eye could see. It amazed her that her father could take care of the farm and be the local doctor.
“We’ll find
your sister.”
“It’s not just that.”
“What is it then?” The car jerked over a few potholes. The large, white farmhouse that she’d called home for her first eighteen years came into view around a bend. Her father’s older model Chevy station wagon graced the driveway.
“First, you should know my father is a doctor.”
“What kind of doctor?” he asked with a crinkled forehead.
It reminded her of a cute, little baby pug. “He’s a general practitioner. Think Doc Baker on Little House on the Prairie.”
Declan scratched the back of his neck. “I have no idea what that is.”
She laughed. Of course, he didn’t. The show was older than dirt and geared toward young girls. “He treats everyone in our church for basic aliments, does physicals, helps deliver babies, and encourages specialists when someone is really sick.”
“Does he do house calls?”
“Yes. Dark ages, I know.” She laughed, though quickly subdued the noise and cleared her throat. “There is something else I need to tell you.”
“That sounds ominous.”
It could be, depending on how he decided to take this little tidbit. “My mother might think you’re my boyfriend.” She closed her eyes, tight. It had been a stupid thing to tell her folks she’d been dating, but hell, they too had prayed God would help bring her to love John. She figured if they believed she had a man in her life, they’d give up on the idea that John could be the one that got away.
Declan coughed, taking the turn into her parents’ home a little too tight, stirring up pebbles. “You did what?”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “But ever since John came home and started dating the girl that works at my mom’s family store, my parents have been on my case, and it shut them up, sort of.”
“How long have we been dating?” The car came to an abrupt stop. “Just so I can get the story straight.”
“Since last month.” She blinked open her eyes and gasped.
His mouth was only a couple of inches away. He licked his full lips. “What do they know about me?”
She leaned back, but he cupped her neck, drawing her closer.
“I don’t want to mess it up for you, so you should tell me before we go in,” he said with a teasing tone. But his bourbon eyes conveyed a sincerity that made her melt like a chocolate bar in the hot sun.