by Jen Talty
“I thought you were still hung up on your ex,” he admitted, “but it was that night that I changed my passcode, and I’ve been kind of stuck on you since.”
“You have a weird way of showing it.”
His heart lurched to his throat. “I know and I’m sorry about that. I want us to try our hand at dating.” Geez, he sounded like a total moron.
She let out a dry laugh. “I’m not sure how to take that, but we need to talk about some things.”
“What things?”
She leaned over, checking out the dashboard. “This isn’t something that should be talked about at eighty miles an hour.”
“Now you’re freaking me out.” Either she was going to tell him no way in hell would she date him because that ship had passed. Or something entirely worse, though he couldn’t figure out what that could be.
Chapter 6
He wanted to date her?
They were way past dating. They were going to be parents. Shit. She wasn’t ready for this. It didn’t matter that she wanted it more than anything in this world, she had planned on falling in love, getting married…then having babies.
She slipped from her bed and tiptoed across the hallway toward Edwin’s old room. Her parents had, hopefully, gone to bed. But all she wanted to do was talk. Taking in a deep breath, she tapped on the door. “Declan?” she whispered. “Can I come in?” She lowered her gaze, realizing she was wearing his shirt from that night. It had become her pajama’s and without thinking, she’d tossed it in her suitcase.
Shit.
The door squeaked open.
She gasped, staring at Declan who wore nothing but boxers. His thick thighs bulged with tight muscles. His tanned skin glistened in the moonlight that filtered through the window.
And his hair was still perfectly styled.
She reached out and ran her fingers through his thick mane. It never felt like he had any product, but there had to be something to make the strands go in different directions.
“What is it with you and your need to mess up my hair?” he asked as he closed the door quietly behind her.
“It’s always so perfect. Too perfect.”
“You’re perfect,” he whispered, tugging her to his chest. His lips brushed against hers with gentle, but firm pressure. “You look good in my shirt.”
His skin sizzled under the touch of her fingertips.
“Stop,” she said, as she took two steps backward, putting some needed distance between them. “We need to talk.” She wasn’t sure she could do this while he was in just his underwear.
“All right.” He took her by the hand and led her to the queen-sized bed.
That wasn’t going to make this easier.
He helped her onto the bed, actually pulling back the covers, and eased her between the sheets.
“I’m not sleeping here with you,” she said so softly she wasn’t sure he could hear as he climbed in, tucking himself under the comforter and fluffing the pillows.
“I don’t expect you to. Besides, your father would probably have me hung if he found us. I was just a little cold.”
“It’s not my father you should worry about, but my mother. She’d hang you by your balls herself.”
He squirmed, yanking the covers to his chin. “Please, don’t talk like that and have your mother in the same sentence.”
“Sometimes you crack me up,” she shifted to her side, resting her head on her hand, which was propped up by her elbow. “You’re an oxymoron purse filled with contradiction.”
“Now you’ve just attacked my manhood in a different way.”
She slapped his shoulder playfully. “You know what I mean. Both our lives are filled with Christian values, and we both still go to church, believe in a higher power, yet we don’t follow any of the doctrine.”
“What is your point?” He rolled to the side and rested his hand on her hip.
While she worried her parents might walk in at any second, it felt so right to lay next to him.
She shivered.
“What’s going on?” he asked, pulling her closer. His warm breath tickled the skin on her lips. He smelled like a combination of peppermint and pine.
His thumb and forefinger pinched her chin as he tilted her head, kissing her before she ever got the chance to answer his question. A deep groan bubbled through her throat. She caved to her desire and leaned closer, wrapping her arms around his strong body. His soft skin singed her fingertips.
But the more she avoided telling him, the harder it would be.
She splayed her hand over his chest and pushed. “Declan, we need to talk.”
“What is there to talk about? I said I was sorry about how I behaved, and I want a second chance. You still care about me, right?” He had the nerve to wink.
“I need you to be serious.” One thing she’d learned about Declan over the course of the last year was that he often skirted issues when they might cause him emotional pain. She could understand that to a certain extent, but right now, she needed him to listen with an open mind and heart.
“Are you going to shoot me down and make me crash and burn?” he asked, cocking his head.
“No.” She palmed his cheek. “But what I’m about to tell you will change things drastically.”
“How so?” He narrowed his eyes.
Her heart thumbed in her throat, making it difficult to swallow. “The night we were together after Brodie’s wedding?”
“What about it?” He brushed a piece of her hair behind her shoulder.
She bit back the tears that threatened to break free and turned her head, not wanting to look him in the eye.
“We didn’t use protection,” she stated matter-of-factly, blinking her eyes.
He reached out, tipping her head. “What are you saying?” His russet orbs narrowed, then grew wide. “Are you pregnant?”
“Yesterday, before I showed up at your house, I took a home test, and it was positive.”
He shoved a finger in his ear and wiggled. “I don’t think I heard you correctly, because we can’t be having a baby.”
“But we are.”
“Holy shit,” he mumbled as he ripped off the covers and jumped from the bed. He ran a hand through his hair, something he only did when he took off his hard hat after a fire, or when he got out of the shower at the station before he styled it. His hair was his obsession. “This is not what I expected you wanted to discuss.”
“You haven’t thought that it might be possible?” Her pulse pounded in her ears.
“I honestly don’t know, but I didn’t anticipate a baby.” He stopped at the foot of the bed, hands on his hips, staring.
She held the sheets to her chin, gripping tightly. Her lungs burned with every breath.
“You’re sure you’re pregnant?”
“Well, I haven’t been to the doctor, but I’m a week late, and the stick I peed on gave me one big old plus sign.”
“Wow,” he mumbled as he sat on the edge of the bed. “You’re not on birth control?”
“I was on the pill. It failed.”
“Yeah, I guess it did,” he said with a slight chuckle.
“You don’t sound shocked.” Nor did he respond in a way she imagined.
“Oh, trust me, I am. I’m just not sure what to think or feel right now. I’m kind of numb. When I left you that night, I was more concerned about hurting your feelings and protecting my heart than realizing I hadn’t used a condom.”
“If you were so concerned about my feelings, why did you leave the way you did?” She bit down on her tongue. Not only was the comment accusatory, it was said with more venom than she’d intended.
“Fear,” he said. “But it wasn’t so much about being afraid of you as it was knowing how I felt about you.”
“How do you feel? About me and about me being pregnant?” She held her breath as he climbed back on the bed and slipped between the sheets once again.
“I could rattle off a dozen emotions that I feel right no
w, but that doesn’t deal with the situation at hand.” He rolled to his side, taking her in his arms.
She thought about squirming away, but it felt good pressed against his chest, staring into his dark, sweet eyes as if she belonged in this spot.
“Please. I need to know what you’re thinking.”
He kissed her nose. “I’m thinking you need to make a doctor’s appointment and we have some long discussions ahead of us, but it doesn’t change the fact that I want to date you.”
She buried her face in his neck and started laughing so hard she not only worried she’d snort, but that it would wake up the entire house.
“Why is that funny?”
“I have no idea, but it beats crying.”
Declan’s body stiffened. “You know I want you to have this baby, right? I mean, I don’t believe in abortions.”
“Neither do I, so it’s not something I’m considering.” She swallowed her laughter as it turned into a guttural sob. “I don’t expect anything from you.”
“Well, I’m not walking away, but I honestly don’t know what to do next and I think we need to focus on your sister.”
“Thank you.” She rolled her feet to the floor. He hadn’t responded like she thought he might with demands of marriage, and that was a relief, but part of her wanted a declaration of love, or something.
He grabbed her and pulled her back to the bed. “I don’t want you to go just yet, okay?”
“You’re confusing me,” she whispered as he tucked her backside into his chest, his knees tucked up against hers.
“I don’t mean to. I care about you more than I’ve let on, and that alone scares me. A baby freaks me right the fuck out. The fact that it’s with you?” He kissed her temple, snuggling in closer. “I think I’m in shock.”
She let out a long breath and closed her eyes tight. She had no idea what any of this meant, or where it would take them, but at least she’d told him the truth.
All she needed to do now was leave this bedroom before she fell asleep.
Chapter 7
Declan blinked his eyes open. The morning sun peeked into the room, warming his face, but it was the body sprawled out over his chest that heated his body and charred his heart.
Or maybe she mended his heart.
He’d gotten Becca pregnant, and he feared she might not be ready. She was only twenty-six, and they hadn’t had any kind of romantic relationship. Sure, he knew without a doubt he loved her, but he had serious doubts about her feelings. Add in a baby, with her religious background, and he worried that everything she did going forward would be driven by what she thought she was supposed to do.
He needed to know—to believe—that she wanted to be with him, even if there wasn’t a baby.
He wasn’t sure that was an answer he could find.
Her long, blond hair covered his chest. Her arm rested over his stomach, her knee between his legs, reminding his body how they made a little person in the first place. Spending the night with her was simply torture, so why had he held her so tight all night?
The answer was twofold. He needed to hold her like he should have that night. That was for him. But he also needed to show her he did indeed care very deeply and for whatever reason, he thought this might do exactly that.
Becca moaned as she arched her back, brushing her hair from her face. “You let me fall asleep,” she mumbled, rolling to her back, but he pulled her to his chest again. He wasn’t ready to let go.
He might never be ready.
“What time is it?” she asked.
“Almost six.”
“Oh, my, God.” She covered her face. “My parents have been up for at least an hour, and I’m sure my mom went into my room. She was notorious for peeking in while we slept.”
“I think all parents are guilty of that. I just really hope no one opened my door.”
Becca nuzzled her face into his neck. “I don’t think even my mother would do that to a stranger; of course, if she couldn’t find me, who knows. I mean, my sister is missing. My mom is a little on edge.”
“That reminds me.” He reached over her body, snagging his phone from the nightstand and unlocking it. “Tex has sent a few emails. Why don’t you read them while I use the little boys’ room?”
“All right.”
The cool floor did nothing to reduce the heat burning in his loins. He wanted her more than he wanted anything in his life. After hiking up his jeans, he poked his head out into the hallway before making a mad dash to the bathroom.
Quietly, he closed the door, turned the lock, and slapped cold water on his face. He braced his hands on the sides of the sink and stared at his reflection in the mirror.
He was going to be a father. He should be happy. Thrilled. Excited. Yet all he could do was recoil inside his soul. Besides the things that could go wrong in the first trimester, he couldn’t shake the sadness that Vivian carved into his heart. The deception and betrayal cut way too deep, and he resented that feeling. He didn’t want to shout from the rooftops about his and Becca’s news—good news—because they needed time to be a couple first.
Only he kept backpedaling, and he had to stop. He had nothing to fear. Becca was sweet and kind. She was everything any man could ever hope for, and he’d be the dumbest asshole if he let her slip through his fingers.
“Declan!” her voice screeched through the door as she pounded on it. “Let me in.”
“What’s wrong?” He yanked open the door.
She shoved him, hard. His back slammed against the wall as she skidded across the floor, dropped to her knees in front of the toilet, and vomited.
He bent over and pulled back her hair, rubbing her back.
She gagged and retched for another good three minutes before flushing the toilet and rolling from her knees to her butt. “That is something I never wanted you to see.”
“What, morning sickness? I hear it happens to a lot of women.”
“Excuse me,” her mother’s voice bounced between his ears.
He let out a long breath before glancing toward the hallway.
“Did I hear you say morning sickness?” her mother asked, clutching her middle.
Declan sat on the floor, holding Becca in his arms, while she buried her face in his bare chest.
Her mother stared at them with big eyes, her hands clasped together as if in prayer.
He mentally barraged himself for not closing the door. Had he done that, maybe her mother wouldn’t have overheard. But even with the cat out of the bag, it wasn’t his place to confirm or deny the coming of a child.
“Rebecca?”
“Ma, I think I might be sick again.” She shifted from him to the porcelain bowl. “Can we discuss this later?”
Her body trembled and lurched.
“Sure,” her mother said, reaching in and taking the knob in her hand. She nodded briefly at Declan, then closed the door.
He hadn’t expected her mother to let that go. No, he actually worried she might come back with a shotgun and a preacher.
His own mother was going to have his head, and he didn’t think he’d survive the lecture his father would give him.
But even that would be better than holding Becca in his arms on the bathroom floor after she suffered from morning sickness—in front of her mother.
“That came on so quickly. I mean, I felt like shit yesterday morning, but I didn’t get sick. I took one step out of bed, and bam, my stomach started smacking my throat.”
“When my sister was pregnant, she said one day it started, and just as quickly, one day, it stopped.” He helped to her standing position. “It won’t be like this forever.”
Tears lined her sky-blue eyes. “My mother sounded so disappointed.”
“She didn’t look that way. She appeared more shocked and concerned than anything else.” He swallowed. Not a good way to make a positive impression on your girlfriend’s parents.
“I can’t deal with this right now. I need to get out of here. I only
got to read a few lines from Tex’s message, stated that Bryon isn’t in Canton, but he’s got a lead in Columbus and said Wolf was on his way there.”
“Let me jump in the shower really quick, and then I’ll meet you outside and we can leave. Is there a back staircase in this place? I’d prefer not to run into either of your parents right now.”
“You and me both,” she said, pulling her hair back. “Right now, I only want to focus on finding my sister. Then we can deal with this.” She placed her hands protectively over her belly.
He sucked in a quick breath. His lungs burned, and he couldn’t fill them with enough oxygen. His gaze zoomed in on her womb. His knees buckled, and he had to hold on to the sink in fear he might fall over.
“You okay?” she asked.
“I think I have morning sickness.”
“Oh no, you don’t. You don’t get to go there.” She waggled her finger.
He placed his hand over her stomach. “We’re really going to have a baby?” Flashes of holding pudgy little fingers in his hand as he and a toddler walked across the beach flooded his mind. He’d had this vision a dozen times, but never did he see Becca waving from a chair with her toes in the sand like he did now.
She covered his hand with hers. “Yes. We are. But I’m wondering if I should have waited to tell you until after we find my sister.”
“That would have made me angrier.”
“You’re angry?” she asked.
“I’m a little annoyed that you didn’t come to me before with your concerns about the fact I didn’t use a condom and that you could indeed be pregnant.” Annoyed wasn’t the correct word, and it was directed at himself, not her. Only he did wish he could have offered her a shoulder to lean on while she waited to find out.
“And tell you what? We weren’t a couple and why worry you until I knew for sure.”
He frowned. It might be a logical answer, but with this kind of life situation, emotion trumped logic every day of the week.
“I’d like for you to tell me everything that has to do with the baby, please?”
She cupped his face. “I won’t keep any of that from you, ever. I promise. But I really need to focus on my sister, and not this. Can you do that for me?”