by Logan Chance
“You can do it another night,” he said, tugging back the bright orange comforter.
I pulled in a deep breath. Now, I needed to up my game.
“Look,” I placed my hands on my hips and told the one lie guaranteed to get him out of here. “I have my period.” He cringed and turned to me. “When I have my period, it's ugly. Cramps, heavy flow…”
“For fucks sake, Penny,” he said, cutting me off.
I was nowhere near done. Men hated to hear about this stuff, so I expanded on my lie. “Well there's no need to act grossed out,” I said. “When we’re married, you’ll be expected to pick up tampons on occasion.”
“There's no way in hell I’m picking up tampons,” he said, crossing his arms.
“Famous last words,” I said. “At any rate, I'm just too bloated and my stomach feels like someone is sticking knives in it, and Margo and I have what we call a period ritual. It's a party of sorts.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Did you want to be part of the period party?”
His eyes snapped open. “What do you think, Penny?” He stalked over to the bathroom and slammed the door. I bit back a laugh at how easily he flustered at the mention of my menstrual cycle. Good to know. Five minutes later, he swung the door open, fully clothed.
Relief swam through my veins. The look on my face must have clued Dex in to my feelings.
“You can try not acting so disgusted with me, Penny. The truth is we’re going to be married soon, so you need to come to terms with that fact, and quickly. There will be sex another time.” His hands grabbed my shoulder as he pulled me toward him.
“Now, be a good little fiancée and kiss your future husband goodbye,” he said as his lips got closer to mine.
My hand rose to his chest to hold off his advances. “That’s the thing Dex, I’m not your wife yet. And, if I have to spend a lifetime with you, well, then I’ve decided no sex until marriage.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No, I’m not. Good night,” I turned away from him and crossed to the door, swinging it open.
“You fucking little bitch,” he spat.
My muscles tensed as I squeezed my eyes shut. “Dex, you did not just call me a bitch. Get out,” I said through clenched teeth.
“Fine, I’ll abide to your brand-new vow of celibacy and virtues, but after that ring slides on your finger you’re going to wish you’d given into me right now. You have no idea how much pain I can cause.” He marched out of the bedroom and slammed the door shut.
I released a shaky breath as a tear escaped my eye. My anger toward my father grew deeper as I closed my eyes, praying for a way out.
When I woke up the next morning, I got ready for work, and called my father.
“Penny,” he answered, toxicity filling the line with each breath.
“Can I come see you?” I had no pleasantries or idle chit chat left for him.
“Sure, make it one o’clock.”
I hung up after a quick goodbye. I stared at the screen, wanting to call Theo, but the option was no longer viable.
When I pulled up to my father’s office building, I sat, staring at my steering wheel. I needed a game plan.
With not much confidence, I left my car and pushed back my shoulders. I could fake this.
In the elevator, I watched the numbers count up as it brought me closer to him.
“Penelope, what brings you by?” My father stood from his office chair gesturing his hand for me to take a seat across from him.
“I wanted to talk about Dex.” I sat, crossing my legs at the ankle and resting my hands on my lap. My palms were sweating and I refused to rub them on my thighs and give him that tell-tale sign.
“What’s there to discuss?” My father’s eyes narrowed as he sunk back into his seat.
“I don’t love him,” I said, hoping he would see reason. Yes, my big plan involved stating the obvious. Twenty minutes of staring at the steering wheel and that's what I came up with.
He leaned back in his chair. “I’ve already told you, I want to retire soon, and I won’t leave my company to someone who isn’t family.”
“Leave it to me,” I said as my resolve strengthened.
“To you? You know nothing of how to run this company. I won’t leave my company to a woman with no experience. Besides, you want that turtle sanctuary garbage. We agreed on all of this.”
Garbage. That's what he thought of my mother’s work, as she devoted her life, creating a charity to save the turtles. A true socialite, she had her passions and my father hated every minute of it.
“I know, but I just can’t do the marriage part. I don’t love him. Hell, I don’t even like him.”
My father chuckled slightly as he rubbed his thumbs into his temple. “Penny, I understand you’re worried. Dex is a good man, and he can take care of you better than Theo ever could. Besides we agreed on this.” My father waited for my reaction, testing me to gauge my true feelings for Theo.
I gave him nothing. A stone cold poker face is all that stared back at him. “I couldn’t care less about Theo. My issue resides with marrying someone I don’t like.”
“Penny, run the Lopa as you wanted. All of these details we’ve discussed. If you don’t marry Dex then you know what will happen,” he said as he stared right through me.
If I thought I could make him see reason, I was wrong. This man, a master negotiator and lethal businessman, always got his way.
“Fine,” I said as I rose from my seat. My fight had all but left me as I made my way to the door.
“Penelope, just stick to the plan.”
“Yeah, sure.” I opened the door and walked out.
I spent the rest of the afternoon wandering the streets of downtown Miami, lost in a sea of tourists and riding a wave of despair. Unsure of my next course of action, and refusing to admit defeat, I decided on a plan that seemed pretty full proof.
I would drink my troubles away.
SIX
THEO
Beautiful. Lovely. I fucking hated that she wasn’t mine.
I wanted to kiss her and feel her beneath my fingertips.
Her being with Dex really did a number on my head. I slammed my fist against the steering wheel as I drove toward Blair’s house.
As soon as I pulled up, I saw Blair and Lucy playing in the yard. I took a deep breath as I watched Lucy run around chasing after a ball. She looked like she had grown over night, and I couldn’t wait to get her into my arms.
“Hey, Boo Bear,” I said as she raced toward me.
“Daddy, play catch with me.” She wiggled free from my arms and went chasing after the red ball again.
“Hey, Theo,” Blair called out, as she walked over to greet me.
“Hey. How are you?”
She smiled. “I’m good.”
Happy to see my favorite girl, I went over and retrieved the ball Lucy threw in my direction. This time with Lucy was exactly what I needed to forget.
On the way to my condo, Lucy and I stopped to pick up a few essentials we needed. Oreos and milk. I hated milk but Lucy loved to dunk her Oreos in it. Once lunch was done and cleared away, I sat on the floor and picked up a half-dressed Barbie doll with wild blonde hair. Lucy squealed with delight when she saw me playing with her. Easy, just prance the doll around and pretend to laugh. Penny would love this. I smiled to myself thinking of her calling my action figures dolls. Fuck. I couldn't even play with a Barbie doll without picturing Penny laughing and stretched out on the floor with us. I wanted that. After an hour of Barbie getting ready to marry Ken, and me trying to talk her out of it and marry my surfer doll instead, I decided to take Lucy down to the ocean to play in the sand.
The afternoon held a slight breeze as we walked along the shore to find a perfect spot to build sandcastles.
I held her tiny fingers in one hand and a bag of sand toys in the other.
Once we were situated, we spent the remainder of the day digging tunnels and letting the ocean fill them
in. It reminded me of the day Penny joined us. Everything reminded me of her lately. The way Penny played with Lucy that day did crazy things to my chest. And I was an asshole because I didn't know how to deal with it.
After the sun set, we trekked home and I whipped up her favorite dinner of noodles and butter.
“Why don't you want Barbie to marry Ken?” she asked.
“He’s not cool like my surfer doll.” I winked at her. “Ken is boring and has weird hair, and Barbie doesn't need to get married anyways.”
She giggled. “Well no one is as cool as you. Maybe she’ll be a warrior princess instead next time.”
I smiled. That's my girl.
After dinner, I reluctantly packed her up to return her to her mother’s.
Needing a drink, I decided to hit a small local dive bar after I dropped her off. South Beach clubs held no interest for me anymore and only brought back painful memories of Penny.
Stepping inside the Frosted Mug, I glanced around. A hip beat infiltrated through the speakers. The place was low-key, just a few tables and a bar, no dance floor, no games of any kind. Perfect.
I stepped up to the bar, leaning my elbow on the scarred oak wood to gain the bartender’s attention. “Macallan neat,” I said once he walked over.
After the shot was poured, I glanced around taking in the scenery. The place was virtually empty. I downed the shot, and suddenly my body buzzed with endorphins. There she sat. At the complete opposite end of the bar, Penny, she hadn’t noticed me yet. She was zoned out, the little black straw in her left hand making lazy circles in her pink drink. Her dark navy blouse clung tightly to her curves I knew all too well. Why did she have to be so beautiful? It's really fucking difficult to get over someone when your cock twitches every time you see them. There would be no getting over her. Even the way her hair shone under the lights made me hard.
As if she could sense me, or as if some magic force were at play, her sweet, russet eyes lifted to meet mine.
She pointed a finger at me. “You,” she shouted.
I glanced over my shoulder unsure if she meant me. “Penny?”
She turned her finger, hooking it back to signal me to come to her. I obliged.
“You,” she whispered as I stood close. Too close. Close enough to smell her delicious scent. I missed her smell. Overwhelmed by the sight of her, I didn’t say anything and she started in again. “You asshole,” she stuttered, alcohol on her breath.
“Excuse me? Are you drunk?” I reached my hand out and slid her drink away.
“Heyyy, that’s mine.” Great, inebriated. More so than I’d ever seen her.
“Let me get you home.” I called the bartender over and paid her tab.
“I don’t need you to do anything,” she protested, pushing me away as she stumbled from the stool.
With one fleeting glance to the bartender, I smirked and helped her steady herself. “Let me help you.”
“Why?” she spat out. “You hate me. All I ever did was try to help you, Mr. Sullivan. And now look at this mess I’m in.” She waved her hand in front of her face, in turn losing her balance. I caught her in my arms before she went down.
“Penny, please, let me help you. You can’t even walk out of here.”
Her hand landed on my chest and she inched her fingers upward. My heart sped up at her touch. I made the mistake of looking down to meet her eyes. All brown and once all mine.
“Theo, I’m sorry,” she breathed.
With her apology, all of the emotions and hurt came rushing back to me like a tidal wave. The pain I felt when I saw her with Dex intensified. Hatred took over as I looked down to her.
“It’s too late,” I said, defeated.
I reached my arm under her legs and picked her up. Sorrow filled me when she rested her head on my shoulder. Smiling once more to the bartender, I left the bar and hurried to my car.
“Theo?” Penny’s voice spoke so softly; I almost didn’t hear her.
“Yeah,” I said as I helped her into the front seat of my Audi.
“Please don’t take me home.”
I leaned my head into the door, arm resting on the car frame. “I have to.”
A war battled in my mind. I wanted nothing more than to take her to my home, to my bed. Reclaim her as mine. But, she was engaged.
“Ok, but can we go anywhere else first?” Her pained voice pulled at the few heartstrings still attached.
I hopped in the car, racing through the streets, taking her to the one place I felt most at home—the beach.
My mind over thought every scenario of what would happen when we reached it. I knew what I wanted to happen, but my mind couldn’t erase past events.
When I pulled up to the dimly lit parking area, I glanced over to Penny as she gazed out the window.
“Are you ok?” I asked.
She sighed before answering. “Yeah, I’m ok. Thank you for bringing me here.”
She opened the car door, hopped out, and ran to the shoreline. She ran until waves crashed at her knees. The moon hung low in the sky, giving the illusion of a magical moment. It was anything but.
Memories flooded me of the night we met. I wanted to hold her again, touch her, taste her, feel her body shaking beneath mine.
Following her into the water, I wrapped my arm around her waist. “Let’s get you home.”
She gazed up at me, her eyes the color of my dreams, and I tugged her body closer.
“Theo, please don’t let me go.” Her arms flew around my neck, and our lips were inches apart.
“Don’t, Penny,” I breathed against her mouth. “You’re engaged to my brother.”
“Don’t remind me,” she whispered over the crashing waves.
“Why him?” I asked.
She pushed away from me and ran along the sandy beach. Of course, I chased after her. I would always chase her, even if she wasn’t available.
“Penny, talk to me,” I yelled as she kept running.
She stopped abruptly and spun around and almost lost her footing due to the alcohol coursing through her. “Well if I could feel my lips, I would.” She reached up and massaged her lips with her fingers. “Why do you have to be so perfect?”
I shook my head. “I’m definitely not perfect.” She was, though, even drunk.
“Excuse me, I need to make a call,” she slurred.
I laughed. God, she was making no sense in drunk mode. “What?”
“Where’s my phone?” she asked, looking down at the sand. “Oh, here it is.” She leaned down and picked up a large seashell and held it to her ear.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Penny, what are you doing?”
She held up a finger and shushed me. “Shh. I’m on the phone.” She put her other finger up to her ear as if she were blocking out the noise of the ocean. “Oh, hi, can you bring me a piece of paper and a pen so Theo here can make a sign that says he’s not perfect,” I shook my head. She would never let me forget that sign. It was fucking common sense. “Yeah, it needs to be huge. Gigantic. Enormous. Bigger than Theo’s cock.” She winked at me. And then she went straight to crying drunk. “Because he is perfect, and I don’t want anyone else to know.”
Ah, fuck. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she hiccuped. “Give me the phone, Penny.” Yeah, I held out my hand for the seashell phone.
“K, thanks, bye.” She tossed the seashell into the ocean. “I don’t want anyone else to have you,” she sobbed.
Shocked at her confession, I closed the distance between us. “No one else has me.”
She scrunched her nose and crossed her arms. “Well they will. I hate you,” she slurred.
“No, you don’t.” I spoke softer, with more confidence than I felt in a long time. I was used to the over exaggeration of ‘I love yous’ from drunken confessions, but not the opposite.
“I do. I hate the way you always think you’re right.”
She placed her hand on my chest, and my breathing kicked up. “I’m right about this. You
don’t hate me,” I said.
She shook her head, and I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into me. “Admit it,” I whispered close to her ear.
“I hate you,” she whispered back.
My fingers traced along the back of her neck, thumbing over the tattoo I missed. “No, you don’t. You just called someone on a seashell about me. You told them you want me.”
She wiggled, trying to break free from my hold. “No. I want him.”
“Liar. You want me.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Theo, you don’t understand.”
“Make me understand.” I rocked into her body, squeezing her neck gently with my fingers.
“I can’t.”
“Penny, please.” My lips roamed over the soft skin of her cheek, down to her jawline. I nipped at her neck as I held on tighter. “Tell me, you want me.”
“I don’t,” she breathed. The waves crashed at our feet, the salty spray misting around us.
“Tell me why.”
She leaned back, her doe eyes searching mine as she exhaled slowly. She broke away from me and went to sit along the shore. I sat down next to her, waiting for her to speak.
We sat in silence, watching the tide roll in and out, before she finally faced me. “I don’t love him.”
I fucking knew it. I wanted to fist bump the air, but tried to play it cool. My whole world turned brighter, and my chest tightened. “Why marry him?”
She brought her hands together, twisting them. “It’s all so complicated.”
I grabbed her cheek with one hand and brought her lips to mine. “Uncomplicate it for me,” I said right before I kissed her.
My head spun as I deepened the kiss, praying this wasn’t a dream.
She broke the kiss. A single tear slid down her cheek. I swiped it away with the pad of my thumb and kissed her lightly again. “Speak, woman. Stop being so cryptic,” I demanded.
“I can’t. You’ll lose everything.” A few more tears fell as I kissed her forehead.
“I’ve already lost you, what else is there?”
“The Lopa.”