by Ryan Michele
“Fuck,” I clipped, darting back to my Jeep, getting in and on the road. Where the hell I was going, I had no idea, but I needed to be on the move looking for Van. I dialed Crow first. With each ring going unanswered, my heart raced. It went to voicemail. “It’s Rylynn. Jenny has Van. Picked her up from school. Where would she take her? Call me!”
Next up was Goldi. She answered on the third ring. “Hey!” she answered cheerily, and I was in no mood for happy.
“Jenny took Van from school. Have any ideas where she would’ve taken her?”
Goldi got serious fast. It was as if I could feel her mother vibe coming over the phone. Good. “You call Crow?” she asked.
“Yes. Not answering.”
“Right,” she clipped, and it sounded like she was on the move. “She has three places she goes. Where are you?”
“Down by the school, by the parking lot on Templeton.” The lot was in front of me.
“Stay there. Be there in five.” She disconnected as I pulled over into the lot. Not doing something killed me. Just sitting here waiting for each second to tick by, not knowing what was happening and if Van was safe. Surely Crow put measures in place where Jenny couldn’t take Van out of school. But if he did, why did the teacher let Van go? As much as Van loved her mother, she’d go without thinking and be excited to see her.
Somehow I was able to hold on for those five minutes it took Goldi to get to me.
Goldi flashed her lights at me and motioned for me to get into her SUV. I did, shutting down and locking mine up tight.
“Where?” I asked her, shutting the door as she took off like a shot.
“First place would be her house. She’s been kicked out, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t break in.” Goldi’s eyes were on the road, but her profile was fierce.
“Why in the hell would Jenny do this?”
Goldi shrugged. “Probably misses her kid and knows she isn’t gonna get her back because she can’t keep her ass clean.”
“Sad,” I grumbled, looking out the window.
“It is,” she responded.
“Didn’t Crow tell the school not to allow her to go with Jenny?” It was a question for Crow, but I needed to know the answer. It seemed like the logical thing.
“He did. Unfortunately, Jenny is also Van’s legal guardian. Without legal papers that state she can’t have contact with Van, there isn’t much the school can do. Crow had words, but they obviously didn’t abide by them.”
Whoever that woman was, was fucked once Crow got his hands on her.
The house came up empty. I ran around it looking in the windows and banging on the door trying to find a way in, but there was nothing to find.
That pit of dread hit harder. Where the hell were they?
The second location, one of Jenny’s friends, had the same result.
Therefore, we headed to the last place and I kept hoping and praying Van would be here. She had to be here. There was no other option.
“Whose house is this?” I asked her, the fear of not being able to find Van riding me hard. I’d never had this panic before. It was foreign and the only thing that ran through my head was find Van now. Find Van now. On repeat over and over again.
“This is one of my girl’s places. She’s a bit naïve and lets Jenny crash here from time to time. Thinks she’s helpin’ Crow and the club out by doin’ it.”
My head whipped around to her. This was another time the terms ‘her girls’ was brought to my attention. Kids? Surely not all those women who came to Crow’s house before the funeral would be Goldi’s kids. There was what, seven of them. Seven was a lot for any woman to have.
“Who are your girls? You’ve said that a few times.”
She looked over, eyeing me curiously. “Crow hasn’t told you?”
Lord, what the hell now. This had better not be something shitty like Sophia. One bitch of an ex was enough for me. “Nope or I wouldn’t be askin’ ya.”
Goldi turned back to the windshield, not saying anything. Time ticked as she drove.
“Goldi!” I barked, my patience with all of this getting very thin, almost nonexistent.
“You really need to talk to Crow about it,” she said, and I was done. Pulling out my phone, I dialed Crow, getting his voicemail again and leaving another message. This one pissed as fuck. “It’s Ry. Still can’t find Van. I’m with Goldi lookin’. Call me as soon as you get this. And I want to know who the fuck Goldi’s girls are.”
I hung up, not saying another word, just staring out the window, looking for a hint of Van. Goldi didn’t want to talk, fine by me. I’d find out this shit one way or the other.
“You know how it is, Rylynn. Can’t tell you shit. Not my place. He has to,” she started, and I sighed because she was right. My panic and frustration of not finding Van and Crow hiding something from me was riding me so hard, I was taking it out on her. Dammit. I was better than that.
Was this how a mom felt when her cub was gone? When she couldn’t find her and feared the worst scenarios? Was this how Elizabeth’s mother felt? If that was the case, my heart went out to her because this shit was horrible.
“Know that. Just gettin’ pissed off that shit keeps hittin’ me from all different sides.”
She reached over and patted my hand. “Just ask him. He’ll tell ya.”
“Great. Another mystery to be solved.”
“It’s no mystery.” She squeezed my hand, gaining my attention. “We’ll find Van, honey.”
“That obvious?”
“You look as though you’re gonna burst from your seams at any moment.”
“If we don’t find her, I will.”
She smiled and let me go. “While I hate this, it’s nice to know Crow has a good woman at his back who will do anything to protect his kids.”
This was only partially true. While I would do anything for Van, the jury was still out on Greer. But down to my bones, only because he was Crow’s son, I knew I’d do anything for him too.
“Not sure about Greer,” I murmured.
“Hold strong,” she said, pulling up to the curb.
The house was nice in that the paint was new and the plants outside were well taken care of. It was very small and appeared to be a perfect square. The yellow made it stand out among the houses on the street, bright like the sunshine.
There were two cars in the drive, one nice, the other seeing better days. Goldi pointed. “That’s Jenny’s.”
Thank God. Please let her be here. Please let Van be here.
She put the car in park, and I jumped out and reached in my pocket for the switchblade I grabbed from my glove compartment earlier. I slashed all four tires hearing the hiss of air pouring out of them and watching them deflate. She wasn’t fucking leaving by car, that was for damn sure.
“Damn,” Goldi said, coming up next to me and peering down at the car.
“Bitch isn’t goin’ anywhere.”
Van had only been in my life a short period of time, but she was a great kid and this protectiveness flowed over me when thinking about her. I wanted her safe, and being with a junkie high on whatever wasn’t safe for her.
She would be safe. We marched up to the door.
“Let me,” Goldi said, lifting her fist and pounding on the door, the movements rattling it. “Shell, it’s Goldi. Let me in.” It was a demand, one that forced to be followed. The door opened slowly, and a very pretty long-legged blonde answered the door, her eyes wide.
“She just showed up.” Shell had her hands up and appeared scared out of her mind. She was thin, but had serious tits going on because they were bursting through the V-neck of her white t-shirt.
“Where?” Goldi asked, pushing through the door and entering the house like she owned the place. I followed, and Shell said nothing, just moved to the side.
My heart thumped hard in my chest as I looked around the house searching for Van and not seeing her.
“Van!” I called out, panic and fear taking its toll on
me. Come on… I went charging through the living room.
Two seconds later the girl herself ran into the doorway of the living room colliding with me, her arms wrapping around my stomach as tears flowed down her face.
Thank you, God. Thank you. Thank you. I wrapped her up tight feeling her little body shake. Kneeling, I pulled her tight into my arms holding her with everything I had, feeling so much relief this little girl was okay.
Sucking in a deep breath and letting that feeling flow through me, I pulled her away from me and began checking her body for scratches, bruises. Hell, I didn’t know what. She just had to be okay.
“Are you okay?” I asked as I did this.
“No.” My heart skittered to a halt.
“What? Where are you hurt?” Checking her in earnest, there was no blood, but clothes could cover up marks. Panic assailed me.
“No. Mommy won’t wake up.” While I stopped searching Van, her declaration had me coming up short. That fucking woman came here and got high with her kid. That fucking bitch.
“Fuck!” I clipped, hugging Van once again. She clung to me. “Stay here.” Van wouldn’t let me go, the terror in her every movement making her body tremble more, her cries turning into hiccupping sobs. “I’m gonna go help your mommy, but I need you to stay here with Shell while I check it out.”
While I didn’t know Shell, Goldi did, and I trusted her judgment.
It took a few beats, but Van nodded and released me, stepping back into Shell.
The way she looked seared into my brain like a brand. Her pain and fear wrapped itself around me sucking me in. She shouldn’t feel this way. She shouldn’t have a life where she watches her mother die on the floor.
Anger burned lightening hot. So much so I could feel it through my skin. This bitch would pay for that look on Van’s face.
Marching down the hall on a mission, I found Jenny laying on the floor a needle poking out of her arm. “Motherfucker.” That stupid, stupid woman. Shooting up her arm and letting her kid watch it. The worst part of the whole thing was I knew this wasn’t the first time Van saw this. She probably thought it was normal for someone to take a needle and shoot up.
To have a child think or feel that was inexcusable. With everything inside of me, I controlled my rage, wanting so much to kick her in the gut with my boot. It wasn’t easy, but Van kept popping into my head.
She deserved better, and as much as I hated the woman laying on the floor, I had to help her, for Van.
Kneeling, I searched for a pulse and found a very weak one. “Call 9-1-1 now!” I yelled out, just as Goldi came into the room. Jenny’s chest had a very shallow rise and fall. At least she was still alive.
“What the fuck!” Goldi yelled, but there wasn’t time for that.
“Call!” I ordered, and she pulled out her phone dialing. Tapping the sides of her face to wake her did nothing. It made me wonder how long she’d been like this.
How long did Van see this before we came? If her mother died it would fuck with her head for many years to come.
I hated that for her. She didn’t need to live with that cloud over her head because of her mother’s choices.
Crow needed to answer his fucking phone. Where the fuck was he?
11
Crow
“Nice doin’ business with ya.” Wells took my outstretched hand and shook it. His grip was strong and confident, just the way it should be in our world. Our relationship had grown over the years, building with each delivery. He had never fallen through with an order. This time was no different.
There was a level of trust there that we had no qualms about meeting him remote. We met out in the hills which were really mountains, be we didn’t go up that high. The view was breathtaking though, and I’d need to bring Rylynn here so she could see for herself. The air was crisp and refreshing.
The only shit thing about being up here was cell signals sucked. It would go in and out at every turn. But it was quiet and secluded. That was all that mattered. We had a backup satellite phone if we really needed it, but meeting Wells we knew it wasn’t necessary.
This deal was one more thing off my plate, like a check on that damn to-do list. Wrong Way gave me a chin lift, telling me the money added up. Great. Now we could get out of here and find fucking Rodney.
Wells and his men pulled off as we gathered around. I turned to Phoenix. “Rodney.”
He nodded once. “He’s stayin’ at 465 Bryker Drive, but he hasn’t been there for the last twelve hours. Been up in Stagnet. Having Jimmy keepin’ an eye out for him.”
“Good. Need that fucker. What about Ebony?”
Brewer crossed his arms over his chest. “She’s back. Wants a sit-down tomorrow. Get this…” he paused, “…at Purple Pride bar.
“That should be interesting,” Tex said, and he wasn’t wrong. She wasn’t going to open herself up like a book and give anything. That wasn’t her style. Ebony was ruthless with her money business, having guards who did her dirty work.
“We will not go in blind. We call other chapters and have them at our backs if needed. It could be a trap, and I’m not fuckin’ around with that.”
After this shit, the small amount of trust I had in Ebony was completely gone. She could turn on a dime and not give two shits. Ravage would not be backed into a corner.
“On it,” Wrong Way said, pulling out his phone, looking at it, then putting it back in his pocket. “Once we get back to civilization, that is.”
Lemon held back throughout all of this. There, but distant. Appearing to want to say something, but keeping his mouth shut. I needed to get Brewer and Wrong Way alone to discuss this and get something in motion to find out what the hell was going on with Lemon.
“Let’s head out. Meet at the clubhouse,” I ordered as we all got on our rides and took off, making our way down the mountain. Me in the lead, Brewer and Wrong Way behind me. My other brothers behind them in formation. A pack, that was how we rode.
Unfortunately, Lemon was a puzzle that needed to be solved immediately. Fuck, I hated that my trust in him was being tested. Hated that I was going to be looking into a brother because he gave me no choice with his actions. This was what was best for the club, and that came first.
Pulling into the clubhouse and shutting down my bike, my phone went off. Pulling it out, texts, missed calls, and voicemails came through. Reading through them, fear struck turning me ice cold as I called Rylynn.
“About damn time?” she growled, which wasn’t a good sign.
“What’s goin’ on?” I asked, putting my helmet on and preparing for whatever was going to come out of my woman’s mouth.
She sighed heavily. “In the ER. Jenny OD’d on heroin. She’s crashed twice, but they shocked her back to life. They’re pumping fluids in her trying to get the drug out of her system. It’s not lookin’ good.”
Jesus. What the fuck was Jenny thinking? “Van was there?” From the texts I knew she was there, but I needed to know how much she saw.
“Saw the whole thing.”
Fuck. That was something I never wanted to happen. It was the reason I brought Van to my house. “Be there in fifteen.”
“Okay.” There was no relief in her tone. Instead, she sounded like she was wound up tight. No doubt some of that anger was directed at me because she couldn’t get ahold of me.
“Thanks for findin’ my girl.”
That was when her tone changed. It went back to the Rylynn who loved with her whole heart. Family was important to her. “Always.”
Damn, I loved this woman. “Be there in a few,” I said, then disconnected after she told me bye. Sending out a piercing whistle, Brewer turned around and saw the look on my face and made his way to me. I relayed the information quickly, then looked around to notice no one was close.
I bent in and lowered my voice. “Lemon. Need eyes on him. Somethin’s not right there. You and Wrong Way are the only ones on this shit. Get together with him and come up with a plan to figure out if he’s
hidin’ somethin’. Hope to fuck he’s not, but damn it’s not sittin’ right with me. Gotta get to the hospital.”
“Got it.”
I lifted my chin and took off. There were several things in my life I hated right now, and Jenny was at the top of that list. Van deserved better than that.
Making my way to the hospital, memories of the last time I had been there assaulted me. Doing everything I could to keep my father alive. Rushing into that room and waiting and waiting. The smells of the place were a mixture of pine and bleach. It was a smell I’d never forget.
It was stark white only giving off a bleakness to it. I remembered the exact spot I stood when the doctor came in and told me my father had passed away. There were probably still marks there from my boots being riveted to the ground.
I hated this place. Hated even pulling into the parking lot. Hated Jenny for being a shit mom.
I also hated the possibility of Jenny dying. Van was too young to process something like that. To grow up with no mother. Even if Jenny was a shit one. I’d wanted Jenny to clean up her damn act up so much. Van deserved it. Jenny always pushed back on it though.
While I knew it was the addiction, I still hated that Jenny wasn’t strong enough to do this one thing for her daughter.
If Jenny made it through this shit, I’d make it so she couldn’t sign herself out. Some way, somehow. Jenny was getting clean.
Parking my bike, I made my way through the doors as the smell assaulted my lungs slipping me right back in time. This eerie feeling hit me passing through them. Like déjà vu. One person died here and now there was a chance for another. It was too close to the bone.
“Daddy!” Van called out, running to me and jumping up in my arms. Damn, she was getting big. Where did my little girl go? Her little legs wrapped around my hips as her body shook, while her tears covered my shirt. I wanted to absorb all her pain and take it on my shoulders.
“Hey, peanut.” I wouldn’t lie to her and tell her everything was going to be okay. Whatever happened next, she needed to be strong for it. Lying to her would defeat that purpose. Alive or dead, her mother would be gone for a while. I just hoped it was alive and in rehab.