by Jacob Chance
“You don’t need to say anything more, Rocky.”
“I feel like I do. All of this is a really thoughtful gesture.”
“You didn’t expect that from me, did you?” I tease.
“Frankly, no, I didn’t.”
I tilt my head toward the hallway. “Work is calling me. Enjoy your lunch.” The door is almost closed when she calls out, “Adam.”
Catching hold of the edge of the wood, I lean my head inside. “Yeah?”
“Enjoy the rest of your day.” She smiles, and my chest fills with a lightness I’m unfamiliar with. But this is the first smile she’s freely given me. It’s not because of something funny I said or did. I made her genuinely happy, and that feels pretty fucking amazing.
“I will.”
“Heeey, Aaadam,” Randy calls out when I step inside the group home I volunteer at every week.
“What’s going on, my man?” I hold my hand up for him to high five.
“Bonnie said we’re going bowling next week. Are you coming too?” Randy’s words are slow and deliberate but perfectly clear.
“Do you think I’d miss a chance to bowl?” I ask. He beams, his excitement apparent. I bump his arm with mine. “Just be warned, I’m gonna kick your ass.”
His jaw drops with shock and then he grins, bumping my arm. “No, I’m gonna kick your ass.”
“I guess we’ll have to wait and see. For now, how about we head outside and shoot some hoops?”
“You’re on.” Randy grins widely, showing the small, endearing gap between his front teeth.
When I first met Randy he wasn’t interested in basketball at all. He would get frustrated when he couldn’t make baskets, but with many hours of practice and encouragement he’s improved greatly.
“Up top.” I nod toward the top of the key just beyond the foul line as I dribble onto the outdoor court. It’s Randy’s favorite spot to shoot from, so he doesn’t waste any time getting there.
“Hit me with the rock.” His smile is infectious.
I toss him the ball, and without hesitation, he drains one from behind the three point line.
“Ohhhh, did you see that?” I shout, as if I’m addressing an imaginary crowd. “This kid just dropped a three pointer with no time left on the clock. Did you see that?” I yell so loud my voice cracks.
Randy runs around in circles with his arms held out, like an airplane. “I’m a jet. Call me The Jet,” he hollers back.
“The Jet is on fire tonight, ladies and gentlemen.”
Randy stops abruptly and looks at me with a confused expression. “But it’s evening, Adam.”
He remains motionless, staring at me, waiting for me to correct my mistake.
“My bad, bud, The Jet is on fire this evening, ladies and gentlemen.”
He continues his celebration through four more laps around the court, making airplane noises the entire time. I wait, patiently watching, and can’t help but smile. His complete immersion in a simple moment of happiness is inspiring. We should all try to be more like Randy, finding joy in everything he does. Life would be a lot more fulfilling and less stressful if we were.
“My bad, bud.” Randy stops imitating a plane. “My bad, bud. My bad, bud,” he chants the phrase over and over again, “My bad, bud.” He likes the way it sounds.
He stops chanting just as abruptly as he started. “Adam, can I ask you a question ?” He scans the area, looking over each shoulder, and moves in closer. “It’s really important,” he says quietly.
“I’m all ears, buddy.” I stop dribbling and step forward, ready to hear what he has to say.
Randy stares at me with a confused expression on his face. “No, you’re not.” He leans in to the left and then right, checking both sides of my face.
“It’s just a saying, Randy. It means I’m ready to listen to you with no distractions.”
“Do you have any idea how much earwax there would be?” Randy asks.
“Well, I guess I never really thought about it.”
“It would be everywhere,” he informs me.
I nod. “I suppose it would.”
“Like, all over the place.”
“Sounds disgusting.”
He wrinkles his nose up. “Oh, it would be.”
“So you wanted to ask me a question.”
“So gross.” He sticks his tongue out in disgust.
“Maybe you should ask me your question?” I prompt.
“Okay, yes. I need to know which is better.”
“I’m not sure what you mean, pal.”
“I love a girl.”
Oh, boy. Girls are the start of every man’s downfall.
“You do?” I question.
“Yeah. I love a girl. It’s Ms. Tracey.”
Ms. Tracey works in the cafeteria during the day shift. “I’m happy for you, buddy.” I pat his arm.
“Yeah. Happy for me, buddy. Me too. But I need to know which is better to show her that I love her. It’s very important.”
“I hear ya, bud. I do.” I place the basketball on the ground at my feet and sit on it. “So let’s hear your options.”
Randy smiles excitedly and kneels down on the ground next to me. “All right. I talked to all my friends who live here with me about how to show that I love her, and they all told me what I need to do. But they all said I had to do different things. So now I’m confused.”
“Well, that’s what I’m here for. Let’s figure this out. Who did you talk to first?”
“First, I spoke to Ashlee at breakfast, and she told me I needed to buy Ms. Tracey flowers.”
“Flowers are nice,” I agree.
“Yes, but flowers make me itch inside my nose.” He rubs his nose repeatedly.
“Well, that’s no good.”
“That’s what I said. Then, I talked to Jason, who sweeps the floor, and he said I needed to take her dancing.”
“Dancing is definitely fun.”
“And I am a good dancer,” he adds with a proud smile. “But I don’t have the right shoes.” He shifts until he’s sitting on the ground with his legs extended in front of him. He points at his sneakers. “See?”
“What kind of shoes do you need?” I ask, confused. His sneakers look fairly new to me.
“Ugh.” Randy sighs in frustration. He’s clearly disappointed that I don’t know what kind of shoes he’s talking about. “Tap shoes, Adam. I need tap dancing shoes to dance. You know, the kind that make noise.”
“Gotcha. My bad. I should’ve known.”
“It’s okay,” he reassures me. “But that leaves only Jimmy, and I don’t think I like his idea at all.”
“And what was Jimmy’s idea?” I’m almost afraid to ask. Jimmy is one of the higher functioning adults who lives here. But he tends to be mischievous at times.
“Jimmy said I should show her my ding-a-ling.”
“I’m sorry, he said what?”
“Jimmy said if I really love Ms. Tracey I have to show her my ding-a-ling and then she’ll love me too.” He hangs his head, looking sad. “Adam, I do love Ms. Tracey, but do you think she can love me if I don’t show her my ding-a-ling?”
“I think your friend Jimmy is joking around with you, buddy.”
Randy raises his chin and smiles.
“You think?”
“I do. And you know what else? I think you should write Ms. Tracey a nice letter to tell her how you feel,” I suggest.
“A letter? Can I draw pictures on it too?”
“Of course. I know I would.”
“Rainbows.”
“What’s that, bud?”
“Ms. Tracey likes rainbows. I’ll draw rainbows.”
“I think that would be perfect.”
Before I leave, I stop by the program director’s office. Her mother is friends with mine, so we’ve grown up together. I lean a shoulder against the door jamb. “How’s it going, Bonnie?” Her wrinkled forehead relaxes when her eyes leave the computer screen to meet mine.
&nbs
p; “I’m hanging in there. How about you?”
“No complaints. How’s Barb?” I ask, mentioning her wife.
“She’s great. She was asking about you the other day. Wanted to know what you’ve been up to.”
“I spent a few days in New Hampshire, and work has been incredibly busy.”
“Isn’t that how it always goes when you take time off?” She shakes her head.
“Yeah, which is why I don’t take many vacation days.”
“How was Randy with you?”
“He seemed good. Why?”
“He was a little agitated earlier, but spending time with you always makes him happy.”
“I love hanging out with him. He always improves my day too.” I’ve been volunteering at this group home for three years, and it’s the most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life.
“I can tell.”
“One thing you should be aware of is that Randy has a crush on Ms. Tracey.” I recap the conversation Randy and I shared.
“Thank you for letting me know.”
“I’m not really equipped to be giving advice in a situation like this. I figured a letter wouldn’t hurt, though.”
“That was a great idea. I’ve said it to you before, but I’m going to mention it again, you’ll make a hell of a father someday.”
A laugh slips free. “I still don’t know about being a dad. Being responsible for someone’s life… I’m more of the crazy uncle type. At least that’s what my niece, Ruby, calls me.”
“I can see why she’d think that. You are a lot of fun. But you’ve got a lot of qualities that would make any child lucky to have you in their life.”
“Stop. You’ll make me blush,” I joke.
“I bet you haven’t blushed a day in your life.”
“I haven’t, and you know me too well to not call me on that. Though, there are plenty of things I’ve done that have made others blush, and if I had any shame, I probably should’ve too.”
She sniggers. “I’ve been present for some of them.”
“I know you have. But you never hold it against me.”
“Please. We all did dumb shit when we were young.”
“Well, I still do dumb shit.”
“At least you own it and don’t make excuses. I envy your take-life-by-the-balls approach. I wish I had more of that in me.”
“I didn’t realize you liked balls so much. Does Barb know about this?”
She laughs. “Only you would say something so inappropriate.”
“Did you ever notice all the things I’m good at aren’t positive things at all? I say inappropriate things. I don’t blush. I’m the crazy uncle. Are you seeing a pattern?”
“All of the things you mentioned, I adore about you. And don’t you forget it.”
“I love you, but you’re way too kind. I’m gonna take off, and you should think about doing the same. You work too hard.”
She nods. “I’ll head home soon. I want to finish up a few more things first.” She says this every week. Her dedication to the residents of this home is admirable.
“I’ll see you next week.” I blow her a kiss.
“Have a good night.”
17
Adam
“Good morning,” Roxanne trills, entering the bathroom.
“Morning.” Focusing on what I’m doing, I barely glance up.
“I can see you’re busy, so I won’t take up much of your time. I bought you a breakfast sandwich and a coffee at the bagel shop down the street. I thought you might be hungry.”
I look over and see a coffee tray and paper bag in her hand. “Thanks. You didn’t have to do that.”
She presses her teeth into her bottom lip before releasing the fullness. “I know, but I really appreciate how much you helped me out yesterday, and I wanted to do something for you.” She smiles.
“You don’t owe me anything, Rocky. I was happy to be of assistance.”
“I know you were, and I’m grateful. Getting me lunch and buying the umbrella were some of the nicest gestures anyone’s ever made toward me.”
“That’s kind of pathetic, Rocky. Are you trying to make me feel sorry for you?”
She rolls her eyes. “Shut up, or I’ll give your sandwich away.”
“I’m sure Jerkoff will eat it.”
“Who?”
“The guy you introduced me to the other day.”
She aims a pointed look at me. “Jerry.”
“Jerkoff? Jerry? Same difference.”
“Where should I put this stuff?” She changes the subject.
“The countertop, thanks.”
She tugs one coffee cup from the tray and sets it on the counter next to the paper bag. There are still two coffees in the tray. Is one of those for Jerry?
Jealousy isn’t an emotion I’m familiar with. Even when my college girlfriend cheated on me and left me for the same guy, I was angry, not jealous. And right now that emotion is an annoying burn in my stomach. “I hope you got yourself a coffee.” I nod toward the tray.
“Oh, I did. I bring one for myself and one for Lisa every morning.”
“That's an unusual thing for a boss to do for their employee every day.”
“I appreciate her. She’s a great employee.”
“You sound like a pretty great boss and a generous one.”
“Is Rex your boss or are you his?”
“That’s not how we work. We’re even partners. Neither of us is in charge of the other. We do head up projects, though, and defer to the other when it’s not our turn to lead.”
“Do you like working with your brother?”
“Most of the time, I do. Once in a while, we want to kick each other’s ass, but we work it out.”
“If I had a sibling, I don’t think I’d want to work with them. Mixing business with family or friends can be complicated.”
“I won’t disagree with that. But I can’t think of anyone I’d trust more than Rex to be in business with. He’s always got my back and I’ve got his. We’re both equally committed to keeping the business running well. Plus, I don’t have to worry about him pulling his own weight.”
“I’m going to get out of the way now. Sorry for keeping you.”
“Can you do me a favor before you go?”
“Sure.”
“Hold this wall up nice and straight while I fasten it to the floor.” I tip my head toward the gray stall panel that divides the two toilet areas.
“No problem.” She totters around tools and supplies and over to me. Gripping the wall where I instruct with both hands, she keeps it as still as possible while I screw the bolts into the floor.
“Don’t let go just yet.” I move toward the back of the stall, fastening the screws into the wall. Gripping the top of the stall, I test the sturdiness. “Perfect. You’re hired.” A smile slips easily onto my lips.
She laughs. “I’m glad I could be of service, and in a dress and heels, to boot.” She extends one of her legs in front of me, further tempting me.
“I’ve never had such a beautiful assistant. Seeing you on the job site is a vast improvement over Rex and the rest of our crew members.”
“Thank you. I’m flattered. Your work is much more challenging than mine.”
“It’s challenging but rewarding. I love seeing the before and after comparisons once the work is finished.”
“You must feel a sense of pride looking at what you’ve done,” she replies.
“I do.” It’s difficult to explain to someone not in the trades, how incredible it is to stand back and look at something you built with your own hands.
“I can’t say that about my job. On a good day, I keep some women from dating assholes.” She twirls her index finger in a circle. “Big whoop.”
“You shouldn’t downplay Manfax. You saw a need and created a business where one didn’t exist.”
“Maybe I did, but it’s not an admirable career like creating something from noth—”
“Didn’t yo
u hear what I said?” I cut her off and throw my hands in the air. Her red, glossy lips press together, and I can tell she’s annoyed I interrupted. “You did create something from nothing. Do you understand how incredible that is? It may not be tangible, like constructing a piece of furniture, but that doesn’t make it any less remarkable.” I hold up my finger to prevent her from speaking. “I’m sure the women you’ve helped are extremely grateful for your company. Think of all the heartaches you’ve saved them from. I bet you’ve helped relationships too. Not all reports have negative information, right?”
“No. Not unless the subject of the report has dirt in their background.”
“Then you’ve absolutely helped strengthen some relationships too.”
“I guess I never think about that aspect of my business. That makes me feel better. Thank you.”
“Change your perspective. Looking at a situation in a new way always helps.”
“Now, I really need to head upstairs. I’m later than I like to be.”
“Thanks for breakfast and my coffee. I’m going to enjoy both now.”
“Thanks for the therapy appointment. Let me know what I owe you later.” She chortles before picking up the drink tray.
“No problem. I’m sure I can think of something.”
“I’ve no doubt,”she drolls, wiggling her fingers in a wave as she walks out.
I wipe my hands on my jeans and unwrap the sandwich. When the first bite hits my taste buds, I groan. I didn’t realize how hungry I was. Four more bites and the sandwich is gone—unfortunately, my hunger is not.
Picking up the coffee, I open the tab and tentatively take a sip. I take a larger gulp when I realize it's black, how I prefer.
Roxanne really came through for me this morning. Not only did she thank me with breakfast, but she initiated a conversation with me. And for the first time, she seemed interested in learning more about me. She must like me some, or she wouldn’t have bothered. She’s not going to waste words on someone she has no interest speaking with. I’m hopeful this was just the first of the many conversations we’ll share.
Standing in the middle of the incomplete bathroom renovation with dust, tools, and supplies everywhere I look, I grin. I haven’t been this interested in getting to know a woman since my college girlfriend. It seems like there’s been substantial progress made.